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Orlando: Too Easy to Play the Blame Game

I am a mom of two awesome children who teach me more than I ever thought possible. I love writing, exercise, movies, and LGBT advocacy.


Wrapping My Head Around It Hurts

The shooting in Orlando stunned the nation and left me staggered, wondering just how I was going to catch my breath. I'm a Canadian living 1,331.6 miles north (approximately) of Orlando, and I don't know anyone harmed or killed in the massacre.

But. That's a weighty word, isn't it?

But I identify as bisexual, therefore I am definitely affected. I am somehow a part of the community that was distinctly affected by this horrific event. I teach kids that are LGBT and they have loads of questions. Not only that, I'm a parent of two girls who are becoming increasingly aware that the world they are growing up in is distinctly unsafe in so many troubling ways.

I can't legitimately point my finger at anything surrounding the Orlando shootings as being directly responsible for the terrible deaths of 49 individuals - individuals who loved, were loved, and are no longer with the loved ones who cherished them greatly.


I've never seen such a direct, callous example of hatred in action in recent years. It's too easy to say ISIS, or some politician (sorry, Trump - you are WAY off base), or even the gun lobby was responsible for what happened in Orlando. We are a world, though, who always looks for answers even when we don't always like them. In this case, we may not like to admit it, but we are part of a world that hates too frequently and too deeply.

Gone are the days of healthy discourse where we felt free to disagree with someone over a cup of coffee or a beer. Those were fun. We'd be able to kick back, knock some ideas back and forth about various ideas or thoughts that maybe didn't quite agree with each other all the time, but at the end of the day, we could finish our beverages and continue talking.

Now, though, it seems that everyone's under fire. Don't like the mark you got on a test? Get your parents to yell at the administrator for the school to get the teacher to change the mark. Don't like someone's religion? Protest outside their church. Don't like who someone loves?

That last question seems to become particularly dangerous in the 21st century. What do many people do when it comes to seeing people together - for instance, a same sex couple? While it would be very easy to say that things are great, and everyone can love who they want to love without judgment or fear of reprisal, that isn't the case. If it was, gay and lesbian couples could freely show their love to one another, regardless of where they are.

The problem is, these couples aren't free. There's still couples who can't stop the looking over a shoulder, ensuring they are somewhere where they are "safe" to show affection. I've seen several reports that label a gay bar as the one place gay and lesbian couples could go and not be self-conscious.

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It's too easy to look at anything outside of our binary genders as unacceptable; the binary is so deeply entrenched in who we are as a global society that it's all too easy to forget that there are those out there who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or anything else along the LGBTQ spectrum.

That's where hatred begins. We saw it in 1940s Europe with the Jews in the concentration camps and in the interment camps with those of Asian descent. We saw it with those individuals who are African American in the 1950s and 1960s. Now, members of the LGBT community are in the crosshairs, and that's terrible.

Why do people want to hate so freely? Is everyone so flawless that we need to pick someone or some group apart simply based on who they happen to love and want to grow old with? Do we need to crucify someone because they fit outside the gender binary and therefore do not work inside a nice, neat little package?

Here's a news flash, friends: we are all human, and with an average 80 or so years we get to spend on the planet (hopefully, at least), we deserve to spend it with someone who embraces us in all our weirdness, glory, beauty and sadness. Humans do not come in a one size fits all package - some days you'll be lucky if you can find someone who you trust, respect, and help bring out the best in you.

Hatred is what ultimately killed those who live in Orlando. It's a terrible truth, and in the case of the gunman, it seems as though he had more than his fair share of hatred within himself. How do we teach the generation coming up, though, how to respect each other and treat each other well?

Let's work on understanding each other rather than trying to tear each other apart. Let's forget about the hatred, and the malice, and realize that this is called the human race - there's none of us getting out of here alive, so there best be an attempt at understanding each other before it's too late.



Char Milbrett from Minnesota on June 19, 2016:

The only positive thing is that it drew the community (and world) closer together and he won't do it twice.

Char Milbrett from Minnesota on June 19, 2016:

You are correct. The world seems to judge people on issues that are truly none of their business. You don't like bananas... I hate you. You like squash. I hate you. You drive a nice car, I'm jealous and I hate you. Right? That murderer in Orlando was WRONG in his actions. You are gay and I hate you. It boils down to you are loved, and I hate you for it. You have someone, and I hate you for it. I am alone and scared and alone and scared and alone and I hate you. I'm mad because I am scared and you are responsible. Isn't that the mentality?? And to top it all off, he was a frequent shopper in that bar and he apparently felt rejected, perhaps? He needed a friend and decided enough was enough and hated everyone that was successful in theirs. My sympathies to the families of the people affected in the community of Orlando, AND to their friends who loved them deeply!

CJ Kelly from the PNW on June 19, 2016:

Great sentiments. I hope everyone can appreciate this hub. Sharing everywhere. Keep up the good work.

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