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Look in the Mirror Before You Judge Someone

Ken is a retired entrepreneur. He is married with two adult children and nine grandchildren. He loves traveling and any beach that has sand.

You’re worth more than you think! Trust your abilities!

Take a close look at each of these young women, then tell me which of them has the highest sense of their true worth. Based solely on their appearance, it’s hard to do, isn’t it? We don’t have enough information to make an intelligent evaluation of them or their self-worth.

Using the picture, what might we deduce about them?

  • Each of them is smiling, which may or may not mean they are happy.
  • They all appear to be leaning into the picture, which displays willingness to work as a group.
  • Almost all of them have put one leg forward, showing eagerness to continue.
  • The picture displays diversity and youth.

Nice assessment, so far. Some character traits are easy to see or guess off the top of our heads. But, their appearance doesn’t give us enough information to decide much else, does it? We need more information, right?

What isn’t known about each of them?

We could fill pages with what we don’t know. Let’s see if I can narrow it down to what might be considered some of the most important attributes:

Appearance — Honesty — Trustworthiness — Principled — Religious Beliefs — Character — Timeliness — Mannerisms — Age — Race — Creed — Color — Sexual Disposition, and many more.

While this isn’t a complete list of traits used to gauge someone we don’t know, certainly it’s a good start. In fact, someone is probably using these traits, trying to size me up right now.

Surprise! It happens all the time, and it happens to all of us. It’s called a first impression. We use them to help us form a somewhat biased opinion of someone new to us. Why ‘somewhat biased?’

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It has to be! We didn’t all grow up together and go through the same life experiences. Those help us form our individualism. Until we can get to know this new person more intimately, we have to make assumptions based on what has happened in our lives.

This is where our self-esteem comes into play. Every young woman in that picture has already formed an opinion of themselves that may be clouded by their personal experiences, which adversely affects their sense of worth to our society.


Trust your ability and don’t sell yourself short!

The men in this picture are similar to the ladies. Their life experiences may affect them positively or might prevent them from seeing their full potential in our society.

My own sense of self-esteem has never been higher. Conscientiously working on myself to dispel bad traits and old habits has reaped exponential rewards in how I feel about myself. I still have a long way to go — old habits die hard.

I brought this up for a reason. I believe that before I form opinions of someone I haven’t even met, I first must look inward at myself, to my experiences and my biases to turn them off before I automatically inflict them on someone I don’t even know.

Having lived a very satisfying life, after nearly 60 years of work I know my strengths and weaknesses. I know my own abilities. I discovered them early in my life, and I have valued them and re-valued them as I matured.

Don’t we owe the people in these pictures the same level of courtesy and respect we would want to be extended to us? We are great at letting our first impressions skew the reality of the person in front of us. When it comes to reflecting on our first impressions, not so much!

Thanks for reading this!

This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.

© 2021 Ken Kayse

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