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I Want to Believe Dr. Christine Blasey Ford

Carolyn Fields is a lifelong learner, musician, author, world traveler, truth enthusiast, and all-around bon vivant.

Supreme Court

Supreme Court

Back in the Day

I am a woman. At one time in my life, I would even have said an attractive woman. Because of that, over the course of my six decades on this planet I have been the recipient of more than a few unwanted sexual advances, lewd comments, and just plain vulgar behaviors. I know what it feels like to be treated like a sexual “object” rather than a human being with thoughts, feelings, and substance. So let me say at the outset that I wanted to believe Dr. Ford. Sadly, I just can’t. Here are my reasons.


When a woman comes forward to allege that she has been sexually assaulted (or worse), I listen. I understand that the very act of coming forward with this information is terrifying for a number of reasons which I don’t need to enumerate here. Suffice it to say that it’s not an easy thing. In the past, it was almost overwhelmingly difficult. With the #MeToo movement, things have improved somewhat.

With that said, the burden of proof is still supposed to be on the person making the accusation. However, also because of the #MeToo movement, the scales seem to have tipped almost 180 degrees the other way when it comes to allegations of a sexual nature. And in my opinion, that’s not an improvement. It’s still an injustice, only the tables have been turned.

Fast Forward to Dr. Ford

In the case of Dr. Ford, she didn’t come forward to heal herself, or find justice. She came forward in the era of #MeToo, knowing that all the old white men in the Senate (and the women too) would be obligated to listen. She came forward to thwart the career aspirations of a boy she purportedly knew 36 years ago. But why? Supposedly because of her “civic duty” and that she believes a 17 year old boy who would get drunk at a party and fondle a 15 year old girl (who had also been drinking) is irredeemable and should never, ever be given a position of significant power and authority. That’s one theory. I think that the actual motivations of Dr. Ford are far more complex and self-serving.


Permit me to offer my opinion here, extrapolated from the facts that I have been able to assemble so far. This is what I think is going on.

  • Born Privileged. Dr. Ford grew up in a super affluent household, with all the privileges of the upper crust. This included a private all-girls High School, a country club swimming pool to use in the summer, and on and on. She was expected to go far.
  • Years of Education. She continued in school for many, many years after High School, completing a Bachelor’s Degree, two Master’s Degrees, and a Ph.D. No one has said how she afforded the tuition for all of this schooling, but one might conjecture that her parents probably funded her education.
  • Relocation West. She sought to achieve a professional prominence in a university. Not back on the East Coast, where evidently the culture is heavily male dominated. Rather, she found a position at Palo Alto University, where 79% of the student population and two-thirds of the professoria is female, and where the number one core value is social justice, cultural competency, and diversity.
  • Academic Standing. Dr. Ford has written numerous peer-reviewed articles, and book chapters. Yet she has been toiling away in relative obscurity, while the boys from Georgetown Prep have gone on to become powerful and influential members of society, furthering a conservative political agenda. This could not have been sitting well with Dr. Ford. It needed to be stopped.
  • Fame. What better way to thwart the conservatives, make a name for yourself, and cement your reputation as a culture warrior than to come forward and accuse a nominee to the SCOTUS of sexual misconduct. To smear a powerful man is the zenith of achievement in her feminist ideology. Since she is a contemporary of Judge Kavanaugh, the historical logistics were there. It might have stayed anonymous, but then she wouldn’t receive the fame she sought. So she would be certain it was “leaked” to the press. Problem solved.
  • Rewards. Dr. Ford will have book deals, speaking engagements, television appearances, and the red carpet treatment for years to come. And the personal satisfaction of “taking down” a Trump appointee. Plus, she is already scheduled to receive a special proclamation from the City Council in Palo Alto. At this writing, her GoFundMe campaigns have already surpassed $700,000. So it has begun. And so it will continue. Unless, of course, we find out that she is a fraud.

It Just Doesn't Add Up

I listened to Dr. Ford’s testimony to the Senate Judiciary Committee in its entirety, so I’m not just basing my opinion on superficial highlights and quotes from others. Here is what disturbs me the most about her case.

  • High School Best Friend. Dr. Ford’s best friend (Leland Ingham Keyser) from the time of the incident has no knowledge of anything happening as described, and states that she does not know Judge Kavanaugh. Yet Ms. Keyser was supposedly at the gathering. From my own personal experience, I can say that if I had gone to a party with my best friend and then left that party abruptly, essentially coming down from upstairs and taking off for home leaving my friend behind, I would have had to explain the reasons for my departure. I can’t imagine just leaving like that and never being asked what happened. It makes no sense at all. Also, Ms. Keyser has indicated that she was pressured to change her story, or at the very least "rethink" her initial statement. Her credibility has been brought into question, yet she remains steadfast in saying that the incident never happened. What a brave soul she is.
  • Fear of Flying. My Father, who was required to fly in airplanes during WWII, developed an aversion to (dare I say fear of) flying. For his entire life after leaving the military, he never stepped foot in an airplane again – for any reason. That is what true fear of flying looks like. Not just fear when it is convenient, that you can switch off if you’re flying for vacation.
  • The Second Front Door. Senator Feinstein made such a big deal about the second front door. So much so that it seemed odd to me. Subsequent to the hearing I have learned the second front door was part of a remodel in 2008, to facilitate renters and a business operating out of Dr. Ford’s home. So it was a second entrance, not a second exit.
  • Therapy Notes. Dr. Ford states that she talked about the assault during a 2012 couple's therapy session. We have never seen the notes from that counseling session where Dr. Ford asserts that she discussed the fateful teenage gathering from 1982. We have heard, however, that the notes erroneously say that there were four boys in the room where Dr. Ford was allegedly assaulted. But somehow the therapist wrote it down wrong. If my therapist made such a glaring error, I would be deeply disturbed. Also, we have yet to see the actual notes. Why?
  • Polygraph Test. I have learned that Dr. Ford did indeed coach Monica McLean (a close friend of hers) on how to take a polygraph test. She said the exact opposite in her testimony to Congress, under oath. I have also learned that the polygraph test Dr. Ford took consisted of exactly two questions (is any part of your statement false, and did you make up any part of your statement). That strikes me as a sham.
  • Handwritten Statement. I have seen the handwritten statement that Dr. Ford wrote that was used for the polygraph test. As a fellow writer, I can tell you that I would have typed up my statement and presented it, error free, to my lawyers. It makes me think she was building her case of being distraught, rather than composed and calculating.

Other Factors

Other things bother me about Dr. Ford’s case. That timid, trembling, childlike, on-the-verge-of-tears voice that she used during her testimony was difficult to listen to. And what was up with the hair that kept falling in front of her oversized eyeglasses? I assume that she has spoken in front of an audience before. Yet that is how she decided to present herself. Curious indeed.

What’s worse was her inability to recall if she had shown a reporter notes from her marriage counselor, or merely summarized them. This is a woman who is a research psychologist, working on statistical analysis, who can’t remember a simple detail like that. The two images of Dr. Ford don’t reconcile in my mind.

The kicker is that her lawyers did not inform her that she didn’t need to fly to Washington D.C. at all. The testimony could have been taken behind closed doors in California. That alone gives me pause about the motivations behind her coming forward with her story in such a brutally public way.

Bottom Line

All things considered, I just don’t believe Dr. Ford’s allegations regarding Judge Kavanaugh. I do believe that she is a deeply disturbed and emotionally fragile person. How she got that way is a topic for another day. I just don’t think it had anything to do with Judge Kavanaugh.

Your thoughts? Please comment below.


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Justice on Trial: The Kavanaugh Confirmation and the Future of the Supreme Court by Mollie Ziegler Hemingway. Regnery Publishing; Illustrated edition (July 9, 2019).

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2018 Carolyn Fields


RTalloni on October 10, 2018:

I was so hoping to see a post like this one providing opportunity for some real discussion on the perspective. Thank you for all the effort it took to put the article together.

The most convincing thing she said to prove herself dishonest was to say she was afraid he would accidentally kill her. Victims do not say that, rather, the reality of the attack causes them to say things like "I thought he would kill me" or "I thought I was going to die."

She came up with or agreed to say the word accidentally because she wanted to cover her aggression in this accusation against Judge Kavanaugh. In spite of trying to use a little girl voice she revealed her own aggression with that one word.

No one would want to believe she lied, slandered Judge Kavanaugh, causing tremendous grief and stress for him and his family, much less is a part of the mockery some people have tried to make of him and his work, but we have to be willing to look honestly at the picture of what actually happened no matter what experience we've had or how we feel about it all.

If the word accidentally did not convince me, the fact that she is supposed to be a professor yet needed the help of people on the beach (?!) or anyone else to figure out how best to carry off this accusation is proof that either her education failed her and she shouldn't be teaching, or that she is an aggressive liar and shouldn't be teaching.

In life, when someone is aggressive it is best to walk away if possible, but if that aggressor will not let you walk away then it is time to go on the offensive and defend oneself. If our society does not allow men to do that when something like this happens but only allows women to make accusations and make men guilty, put on predator lists and all that goes with such, we are in for serious consequences.

She did the me-too movement no good on any level by trying to associate herself with it, especially since she is obviously lying. From what we know those who began the me-too movement can verify that they were assaulted by people who habitually exploit and prey on others.

She needs help and I hope she gets it, but we must be willing to speak up on behalf of those who are accused when there is a real chance they may be innocent. Slandering and trying to ruin someone with false accusation is something our legal system should address. Having to answer for such action might help open her eyes to the wrongness of what she has done.

Thanks again for a straightforward look at the situation and for opening up a discussion regarding the surrounding issues. It is crucial that we mindfully look at the entire picture in a balanced manner.

The Logician from then to now on on October 10, 2018:

Carolyn, during the hearing did the media point out anything other than her accusation. Did they say she had no corroberation from those she claims were witnesses, didn't know where or when this happened, how she got there, how she got home, how many years ago it was? NO!

That's why Trump in Mississippi pointed all that out - because anyone just listening to MSM never heard it, he wasn't mocking her, he was doing the job the media is supposed to do but refused to do! This media ignores the truth.

Carolyn Fields (author) from South Dakota, USA on October 10, 2018:


I agree with you about insulting our intelligence. Yet, not a single news organization has questioned the fact that she scrubbed her past. She was not able to scrub her yearbooks, and I am certain you've seen the picture that painted. Yet another reason I don't believe her.

Suzie from Carson City on October 10, 2018:

IMO, it's got to be far worse to do this deleting thing and expose yourself as a sneaky, unabashed LIAR with much to hide!! It's a blatant insult upon the intelligence of the public. "Oh..hmmmm, let's see now, WHY would he/she scrub their past from a public forum???" How many lame brains don't see this as a huge RED ALERT??

Ralph Schwartz from Idaho Falls, Idaho on October 10, 2018:

Paula - scrubbing oneself from the internet is no small feat; in fact it takes some serious work. In this case the DNC likely carried most of the heavy lifting. It allows a one-sided attack to take place on someone without any counter punches being thrown by the other side for a limited amount of time. Usually once someone hits the news cycle in a big way (shooting, political, etc.) everyone seems to immediately want to check that person's social media or other on-line presence to determine if there were cues, traits, etc. that would lead them to that behavior.

By erasing everything, Mrs. Ford gave the appearance of being "squeaky clean" and even when things were discovered, it made it tough to tie the timelines together. Think about how you or any one of us might randomly post something on Facebook, like perhaps when we started taking in renters so we added a second door to our property. Also any pictures of friends, events you attended, etc. - they would all help someone else paint a narrative of you and possibly demonstrate self-incrimination.

We'll see more and more of this in the future. In fact another of the accusers (a guy who said the Judge dumped a beer on him at a party) had his on-line presence also erased.

Ken Burgess from Florida on October 10, 2018:

T & Paula

I am glad you liked it, thank you for the kind words.

I couldn't help but think of that video when I read Carolyn's article, it helps support/confirm her position nicely I believe.

Carolyn, thank you for your efforts, they are appreciated.

The Logician from then to now on on October 09, 2018:

Thanks for bringing this up Paula. Well what I meant by what I said is that you may think people are your liberal "friends" (that's why I italicized it...and I am not referring to relatives) while in reality if you are conservative they view you as the enemy, which makes them your enemy not your friend. Friends don't view you as the enemy and as far as our nation's politics go conservatives are the enemy, The Democrats didn't go after Kavanaugh because he was involved in a sexual assault 36 years ago, they went after him because he is conservative, would become a powerful conservative and as such he is the enemy to be brought down by any means possible as Shummer so famously declared,

Frankly given what I know about liberalism I could never trust an admitted liberal with anything I would trust a friend with, relatives excluded. I may trust a liberal relative as a friend but not without reservation.

But I'm not meaning to say your liberal friends are your enemy, I tried to make it your choice, friend or should it be enemy - up to you and them I guess.

My liberal relatives think they are liberal but frankly they don't really know what a liberal is or what liberalism actually represents and in any event philosophical enemies or not blood is thicker than water in my book anyway.

Suzie from Carson City on October 09, 2018:

T....I feel the need to comment on what you just said after watching the video. I do agree we should share this video with everyone...most especially Liberals. The liberals in my life are my "friends". Not my enemies at all. (What can I say, it just happens to be this way?) I can muster up plenty of reasons to consider someone an enemy (or at least, NOT a friend) but their political slant is not normally one of those reasons.

I have gone to great lengths & explanations with these liberal friends of mine, to strongly suggest we simply steer clear of Political discussions. Don't ask me how it works out but it does. I'm grateful for this because quite frankly, if we were to go to battle, I know myself...and I'd kick every one of them to the curb without regret. IMHO, a political ideal, no matter how strong, is just not worth the high cost of a friendship. Just my personal belief.

Fortunately, my closest loved ones, ( sons & wives) are on the same side I'm on. So, I get all the conversation/discussion I can possibly need from them. Like I said, it works out well.

Would I love for my liberal friends to see this video? Absolutely....for whatever good it would do the stubborn, narrow-minded, looney fools!!! LOL (I can say that here, they're nowhere in sight!) I'd love them to see the video but I can't be the one to send it to them. I'd be breaking my own strict rules! Curses!!

When I'm with my intelligent, rational, Conservative friends, we discuss non-stop, the whole while knowing that our liberal friends are together somewhere, bitching about us like crazy!! LOL...Oh well. Life goes on.

Suzie from Carson City on October 09, 2018:

Came back to watch the video shared by Ken. "Outstanding." A stunning explanatory speech that I would hope every single person who has/had an interest whatsoever in the Ford/Kavanaugh explosion, takes the time to watch.

So much of this video contains the points of conversation I have been hearing from women of every age, background & mind-set, since day one. The pure honesty, independent common sense & courage required to speak out in this manner about the alleged female victim, her story, motives and gross lack of credibility, is the missing part, so very vital to be exposed.

Thank you, Ken. This video has totally vindicated my personal opinion on Christine Blasey Ford and her attempt to wreak havoc, cause destruction of a good & decent man & make herself an American household name for decades, alongside Anita Hill.....for every wrong reason imaginable.

Carolyn Fields (author) from South Dakota, USA on October 09, 2018:

Thanks for all the follow-up comments and feedback. I appreciate it. It makes me realize that I'm not alone.

Also, I may need to go back and add the most obvious reason why I can't believe Dr. Ford - she has absolutely no eye witnesses that will back her up. Just people she supposedly told about the incident before she went to Congress. That's still not a witness. I'll have to think on that.

Again - thank you everyone!

The Logician from then to now on on October 09, 2018:

Sorry, I had to come back to thank Ken for that video. I had not watched it when I made my last comment. Everyone should share it with their liberal "friends", or should I say enemies.

The Logician from then to now on on October 09, 2018:

The title of your article is exactly what the Democrats based their whole sham on.

People will want to believe her!

You can thank God we have a president who wasn't about to cave based on that assessment which is what any other president would have done and just pulled Kavanaugh. Exactly what the Democrats were hoping for. I don't think they thought it would go down to the line but then everything they have tried to derail Trump, which would have worked on any other candidate, has failed. And finally the Republicans appear to be getting a backbone standing up to the diabolical Democrats. Would never happen without Trump as their leader.

I think a better title for your article would be: I want to believe Dr. Christine Blasey Ford, BUT...

;-) great article Carolyn.

Suzie from Carson City on October 09, 2018:

,OK, Ralph......You tell me that "scrubbing internet presence" before making an accusation is now common. And? Could you be so kind as to elaborate? Do you find this acceptable? Unimportant? irrelevant? You made a statement but gave me no clue as to how you interpret this activity. IMO, it is a loud & clear statement of needing to hide WHO you are, WHAT you've done, WHERE you've been, Names of friends & enemies, beliefs, opinions If you're scrubbing away all of these things...they must not speak WELL of you.

Can you comment, Ralph?

Brad on October 09, 2018:


"High School Best Friend. Dr. Ford’s best friend (Leland Ingham Keyser) from the time of the incident has no knowledge of anything happening as described, and states that she does not know Judge Kavanaugh. Yet Ms. Keyser was supposedly at the gathering. From my own personal experience I can say that if I had gone to a party with my best friend then left that party abruptly, essentially coming down from upstairs and taking off for home leaving my friend behind, I would have had to explain the reasons for my departure. I can’t imagine just leaving like that and never being asked what happened. It makes no sense at all."

This information was not in the letter, and besides your valid questions on it, if her best friend was "there". How would she know it, because she didn't know Kavanaugh and Christine didn't mention the incident.

Surely the best friend could have supplied the date, time, location etc. that were not corroborated by anyone.

Based on this and everything else you say, it seems the Dr. Ford is a player, and not a victim.

Ralph Schwartz from Idaho Falls, Idaho on October 09, 2018:

Paula - scrubbing of your internet presence before making an accusation is now common. Several other people who were also associated with this case also had their on-line presence wiped clean away....almost like they used bleach-bit....

Suzie from Carson City on October 09, 2018:

Carolyn.....If you are not a professional Investigator or an certainly could be and should be.

My take on this entire fiasco is so very much like yours, it scares me. I actually haven't shared my beliefs, simply because I'm not up to getting into any battle with anyone. I have seen, heard and researched. I have gone over all of it several times, as it appears you have done.

I too, wanted to believe Dr. Ford from the start. I wanted to believe her because it was much too awful to think for one moment that a decent person would bring such grief, ugliness and egregious accusations against another for a political ploy.

As time went on and more and more was exposed, explained and questioned, it became more & more difficult to accept her contrived, strained story that over time had changed several times. So many holes in her story, so much left to speculation. Why?

Something you did not mention but seriously concerned me when it became public knowledge.....why would Christine Ford foolishly expose herself to accusations of deceit & dishonesty by deleting her entire Facebook account? That one action speaks volumes of hiding so much. What was she hiding? What was she afraid to have visible to the public? A very foolish move. Reminds us of Hillary's mad dash to delete, bleach & destroy emails and devices! What are these people so damned scared of? might it be a whole lot of facts and truth that would refute the garbage they're posing?

Extremely well-written article, Carolyn. With you 100%. Peace, Paula

Ken Burgess from Florida on October 09, 2018:

A well researched and articulated article on the matter, I applaud the effort and hope it reaches many of the open minds who are troubled by this incident.

I recently watched an informative video about Prof. Ford, the university she resides at, and the adulation and rewards she is receiving for her 'heroic' stand. I believe you will appreciate some of the information presented in it.

When you consider the information this video presents about Prof. Ford and her University... I have to conclude that what we witnessed occur to Kavanaugh shall become common place in our society... as this video attests, we now have entire universities dedicated to its propagation.

The younger generations I know don't have the perspective or ability to compare twenty or thirty years ago to today, but I see relations between all parties (race, sex, religion) becoming worse.

I believe we will see these types of accusations, with no corroboration, no affirmed place, no specific date, become more normalized and accepted if the wrong people gain/retain control of our politics and society in the future.

A future where we do not base things on facts, evidence, or credibility... but rather become a society where what fits the narrative, and suits the interests of those in power, is pushed, and projected as real.

We see this now in our media with the likes of CNN, MSNBC, FOX and so many others projecting their opinions and emotions daily as 'news' as 'fact', spinning a narrative, pushing an agenda.

There are far too many Americans today who no longer have the ability to decipher the difference between the fabricated hysteria and hyperbolic opinions in the media, and reality.

Ralph Schwartz from Idaho Falls, Idaho on October 09, 2018:

I think you've done a great job at presenting the facts without bias Carolyn. This is how an actual court might look at the evidence, or in this case lack of evidence. Thanks for taking the time to review the facts.

Readmikenow on October 09, 2018:

You really accurately portrayed the facts of this situation. Very good writing.

Evidence and proof are essential in any charge as serious as rape. It is a horrible thing for a women to be raped. It is just as bad for a good man to be falsely accused of it and destroyed by such a false allegations.

Here is the story of two men innocent of rape who spent 26 years in prison based on a false allegation of it. There are many other stories like it.

Carolyn Fields (author) from South Dakota, USA on October 09, 2018:


Thanks for reading and for your comment. I left out her poor reputation as a professor because I was not able to independently verify the claims. Ironic, no?

Thanks again,


savvydating on October 09, 2018:

An interesting article. One has to wonder about her. What is also interesting to me is the poor ratings she received by her students when she was a professor. They said things like, "...something is wrong with her....she's vindictive.....don't get on her bad side....

So one has to question her character, and as you pointed out, her motives.

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