So just how far would you go to take revenge on a person who had seriously hurt or upset you? I know I can be a very vindictive person if I know the person who has "done me wrong" has no remorse, or has not apologised to me, (with any sincerity). Many say revenge is not a good move, and we will only damage ourselves by doing this, (although I beg to differ within reason, as justifiable revenge has given me a great sense of relief and closure in the past).
It is not always about the obvious crimes such as infidelity, it can be so much worse, and if legal justice does not pan out, then what is so wrong with seeing justice done other ways, after all, if someone got away with murder, and ended up not being sentenced to death for it, can you blame the surviving relatives for wanting the same end result for the perpetrator?
My big question is, how far do you take it? My previous hub on the subject of revenge was fairly tame, and in general, included amusing ways to get satisfaction against those cruel and nasty individuals who have either hurt you, or made your life a misery for whatever reasons.
So where do we begin? Let's try how we would feel if someone had molested our child! My guess is that "private" revenge would include a judgement far worse than any court would impose. In my opinion this would be totally okay, as the guilty party had no mercy on the victim, therefore deserves no mercy from other humans, (especially the family of the child or children involved). Forget the "human rights" cry that "do gooders" shout, I doubt their opinions would be so rigid once their own families were the victims!
Then we could go on to someone murdering a much loved parent of ours. Would we honestly not feel incredibly in need of extreme pain and justice being inflicted on the perputrator, and could we really forgive, or show mercy to this person? I know I couldn't! I doubt I could sleep at night knowing the murderer could be released from prison at some point in the future, whilst my family member was dead forever! Anyone who has ever watched the TV series "Disorder in the Courts of America" will know how strongly feelings can run when a family member is in the same room as the criminal who hurt or killed their loved ones. Frequently the rage and anger take over, and violence ensues to a degree that all you can see is fury in the eyes of the victim's family, and all reason or ability to back down has gone from their consciousness.
What about our pets! If you knew a person had deliberately inflicted torture on your pet would you be happy to see that person taken to court, fined a couple of hundred pounds or dollars, and then walk free, when you know that had they done the same to a child they would have been locked up for it? This would never be enough for me, and I still get extremely angry at the fact the sentences for animal cruelty are so light they are hardly any deterrent at all. If it were down to me the best form of justice (or revenge) would be for the same torture to be inflicted on the human that did this to the animal.
Then we have those awful neighbours who can make your life a living hell, with loud music, unruly kids, vermin infested homes, racist abuse, vandalism of your property etc. Often it takes years to get any kind of solution to these kinds of problems, and the more complaints you make to the authorities, the more the neighbours make your life a misery, whilst nothing seems to be done by the very people who are meant to prevent this kind of behaviour. I know in these instances revenge can end up being a spiral that escalates out of control as each neighbour tries to get their own back for the previous attack, but there have to other more subtle ways of ensuring they get their comeuppance, e.g. reporting them to the authorities for benefit fraud, anonymously notifying their employer as to the kind of employee they have working for them or maybe even paying someone a few quid to have a "quiet word with them down a dark alley".
Infidelity can provoke the worst cases of revenge. The sense of betrayal and hurt are often too much for many to bear, and plenty of murders have been committed on this basis, be it of the spouse, or the person they were having an affair with. Then of course there are the occasions the innocent member of the partnership or marriage is murdered by the jealous lover who wants the affair to become a more "permanent" arrangement.
There are the gangland type revenge cases, where a member of the gang has been killed by a rival gang. These retaliations are often the most vicious, and are designed to be a warning to other gangs that this gang is "not to be messed with".
Of course we also have the cases of those who "grass up" or "give evidence against", another person to the Police. Whether or not the person "grassed up" was guilty, or deserved to be imprisoned, this is still often followed by acts of severe revenge on the "grass" themselves, hence such long term solutions as the "Witness Protection Programme".
What about rape, how would you react if it were your child, or your spouse? I doubt you would be happy to see this person get a few years in prison and then be released back into society without it dwelling on your mind! Surely you would not only want to know where this person was at all times, but would like to see them castrated as well to avoid them doing this to anyone else, (I know I would happily wield the knife to do the "operation").
Of course some of the most famous revenge cases have been from the Mafia of various countries. Anyone who has ever read the book "The Godfather" or seen the film, or perhaps followed the more recent television series "The Sopranoes", will know that there is level of respect demanded between Mafia families, and to breach this is to sign your own death warrant. The examples I have given are of course fictional, but that is not to say they are not based on excellent research by the writers, and that such things have never happened. Even now the kind of activities and shootings that went on during the Al Capone days are a matter of public record
Look at the Kray twins in London, Ronnie Kray was notorious for his violence, and few dared to cross him, and those that did suffered major consequences.
So to return to my original question, how far would you take revenge? Could you kill, would you try to make the person's life a misery or would you simply walk away and put it out of your mind?
- Revenge - Lip Smackin' Good?
An interesting look at revenge and research regarding the emotions involved in reacting to revenge.
Cindy Lawson (author) from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on May 14, 2013:
Well may she get all she deserves fkaMrsBrown.
fkaMrsBrown on May 14, 2013:
My ex-husband dated this woman for about 4 months last year. He broke up with her when he found out she was still meeting and talking with her supposed "ex" (a married man) behind his back. That guy had been corresponding with my ex-husband for almost the whole 4 months, and sent him recordings of his conversations with her in addition to stories about her wild sexual adventures with random men (my ex thought he was only her 3rd-ever man. He's a moron.). I happened to get my hands on these recordings, and in one, she calls me names and basically talks smack about me, even though I've never met the dirty slag. I gave my ex hell for even mentioning my name to her...
At any rate, this woman uses the court system like she owns it. She's always suing someone, and filed for temp restraining orders against her "ex" 3 times between 8/2012 and 1/2013 (all the while still meeting with him and being recorded, the stupid broad). The first two she never followed up on, but that last one, my ex ended up having to testify because her "ex" subpoenaed him.
I will be taking my revenge by creating a web page using all of this information, as well as the court documents from this last TRO case (which will include my ex's testimony), bringing all of my considerable search engine optimization skills, as well as a great many friends' servers on which the page will be mirrored, to bear. It may take a little bit of time, but eventually, any time someone searches for her name, her husband's, her kids', her company, her current or former addresses or even her married "ex," they'll be served up a lovely page calling her out for the sociopathic sue-happy d-bag she is.
The best part is, other than my own commentary in which I'll be calling her every name I can think of, everything I'll be putting on that page will be a matter of public record, so she has absolutely no legal recourse. Her talking crap about me isn't worth murder, but I'm sure as hell not going to feel bad about destroying her reputation using the internet. Apparently she's worked hard to not have an online presence... she'll have one when I'm through, and it ain't gonna be pretty. She f'd with the wrong b***h.
I don't believe in karma, and some people just DESERVE retribution. I'm happy to oblige.
jesus on June 23, 2012:
i'm ready to leave this world now, i'l never be happy again, the only reason dead men don't tell tales is because they usualy know secrets that are true about someone, oh and because they breathe, well she's got cancer in both breasts now, but they've mended her, seems like even kharma is bias, maybe i will confess, maybe i can get justice for me somewhere down the line, i won't be giving you anymore details though, thankyou and goodbye
Cindy Lawson (author) from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on June 14, 2012:
Thanks for your additional and valuable comments Paul.
paul on June 14, 2012:
I should have also added - societies elected "defense" against evil is the law, police, prison. Arguably, for most of the time and most cases, they are very effective. Some issues may evade the long arm of the law, then you may consider revenge. Also, with revenge, it can lead to a cycle of violence - which the only ends when someone is prepared to turn the other cheek. I would only consider revenge in the most extreme circumstances; where the offence is truly awful, where the police are ineffective, where I can be certain of identity, where I stand a reasonable chance of success (remember evil people are better at evil), where I'm prepared to do prison, where I'm prepared to leave my family to their own devices while I'm in nick, where I'm prepared for tit-for-tat violence, to me or my family - the list goes on and on, which is why I say its' not likely to happen. For lesser offences, let the police and Karma deal with it, and move on, I'd say :)
Cindy Lawson (author) from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on June 13, 2012:
Very good comment Paul. I love to rely on Karma, but sadly it doesn't always happen in our lifetime, or we don't always find out about it, therefore we still don't get the satisfaction of knowing 'justice has been done'. I have to say in many circumstances I would be more than happy to take revenge, and not all revenge has to be an imprisonable offense, although if it came down to someone having murdered my family member and justice not having been done I am sure I would throw aside my qualms about breaking the law and risk prison in order to ensure they got what they deserved. Let's hope we never have to go so far in order to get revenge :)
paul on June 13, 2012:
I've read all the posts - people assume the option of revenge may just be "there". Of course it isn't, to take revenge involves serious planning, and you would be naïve to assume you wouldn't yourself end up in the dock.
personally, I have more and more respect for kharma as I get older. However, there is a level of crime for which IMO revenge is appropriate. God forbid it arises, but if it did one would have to - in priority - make sure you get the RIGHT person, and then be prepared for the revenge act to go tits up and in fact oneself become victim, and finally be prepared to spend the rest of your life in prison. I'd do all that if I had to- but not likely to happen is it ?
Cindy Lawson (author) from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on June 12, 2012:
I believe in these instances revenge and a need for it is understandable. If justice has not been done through conventional channels, then of course you would find it hard to go through life knowing the guilty walked away unscathed. Your family member sounds truly evil, and any such instance is child abuse and should be appropriately punished.
jesus on June 12, 2012:
please answer my posts if you can, you don't have to but i would appreciate your view i also had neatdisinfectant poured into the same eye.
laptop jesus on June 12, 2012:
a close member of my family put a lighted cigarette on my eyelid when i was seven, how many times does this have to happen before it is called child abuse, i still see them regularly but i still remember what they did.
jesus on June 11, 2012:
what has made you all so bitter, stop encouraging these evil twats on this site, vengence ay, i won't retaliate bring it on.
jesus on June 06, 2012:
i feel that i've received more than my fair share of kharma, it isn't going to stop until its dun me in cor blimey.
Cindy Lawson (author) from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on June 05, 2012:
You were 13, at an age that an immature child might be curious about the opposite sex. It wasn't a good thing to do, but you too were a minor. The beating you received in 2000 was no doubt an unfortunate incident, and a coincidence. It concerns me somewhat that you say you are 'sorry to God only', so what about the child you asked to show you her genitals, her parents etc?
I strongly suggest that if this is still bothering you as much as you say it is you seek out some professional help to assist in you dealing with this.
With regards to you wanting to die you should probably read my other hub on the subject of suicide (just in case this is where your emotions are heading).
jesus on June 05, 2012:
i don't want to live in so much pain anymore, i'm probably someone you'd like to kill, i have many regrets, when i was 13 i asked a 6 year old girl to show me her genitals, i'm now middle aged, i'm not a paedo i have much guilt over this,i have'nt done anything like this since, yet feel god is still punishing me i was beaten severely 2000, i'm suffering every day feels like my face is falling of, i'm sorry to god only, i've never physically molested anyone, i want to die, i can't cope with this pain kill me.
chas229 on May 05, 2012:
I have the wisedom of king solmom,, revenge never sweet, one doing so have dig themselves two graves. for give and move on leave it to the lord. and soon you see the person going by, not doing so good or dead. rembering what brought them there in the frist place.
Cindy Lawson (author) from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on April 06, 2012:
Good comment Ellesar, I feel for you with regards to your former tenant.
Ellesar on April 06, 2012:
For the person who raped or killed my children murder would be easy - I don't really look on that as a revenge though - I would want to ensure that he never did it again, and I believe in capital punishment in 100% sure murderers of children.
Apart from such extreme circumstances I am not a very vengeful person. Once I suffered revenge from a spiteful woman - she had stayed in my flat while I was on holiday and annoyed the neighbours, ran up large bills and generally was a bit of a pain. We fell out, and her response was to dob me into the DSS for getting benefits while I was on holiday. The insult added to the injury was that SHE owed ME money!
Cindy Lawson (author) from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on April 01, 2012:
LOL, you have far more willpower and are clearly a much stronger person than I am mutagen, although that said there are still some out there I have never had revenge on even though I feel they do deserve it. It just gets too stressful to pursue it, so instead I live in the hope I will hear that something nasty has happened to them anyway.
mutagen from under my cat. on April 01, 2012:
i suppose if something bad was done personally to me i would more likely to let it go, trying to give a person second chance. but if someone hurt my closest people, then for sure i would do a horrible revenge. but i would do it only for few people.
i see things in kind of wrong way because i think everything that happens in our life comes for a reason and if something happens, it is a life lesson. also, i believe our thoughts create the world we live in, we magnetize happenings in our lives by our thoughts.
so if something happened with me i try to understand what it means and why it happened. i've had a lot of things in my life that other people would probably be unable to forget had let go, because from normal human perspective the other person would be guilty. but i believe in every situation both people are responsible for outcome. it is my way to make my problems disappear. i try to find my "blame" in everything to improve myself. sure,m a lot of situations has no my blame, like i had nothing to do to the terrorist who blew a house with my wife or things like that(example). but if someone for example hurt me and stole my car i would ask myself - why they were able to hurt me? am i so weak that i cannot protect myself?
i guess i just look at the bright side and avoid getting into more problems than i got. because for example murdering someone is a quite hard thing to do without becoming paranoid.
Cindy Lawson (author) from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on April 01, 2012:
Hi mutagen, thanks for your comment and for sharing your thoughts on the subject. I personally prefer to be sure justice is done wherever possible, and even though I do have a level of belief in Karma, I am never certain 100%, and I prefer to be sure justice is done in this lifetime, not potentially in a future lifetime. Apart from anything else it feels good to watch justice taking place first hand. Let's face it, if you had a close family member murdered you would not simply rely on Karma to sort it out and not worry about reporting the person to the Police. Additionally you would be devastated if that person got away with their crime in court and was released. I feel the same way about people who have really done the dirty on me, and whilst I would forgive them possibly if I felt they were genuinely remorseful, otherwise I feel they deserve everything they get.
mutagen from under my cat. on April 01, 2012:
mistyhorison2003, i think every situation is unique and even though i have such opinion, it is simply opinion to my own situation, mainly. in a different one i would probably have same opinion as you.
of course, due to the fact that every human sees world in his own manner, it is hard to come to similar conclusions, especially when revenge wasn't done. i believe that it is a huge change to person, committing revenge. this revenge affects both you and the one who it is made on. but still it affects you more than anyone.
i would forgive person because i know they are too stupid to understand that my revenge was made for a truly serious reason. it is easier to give up on an idiot than explain anything or give him pain he will not understand.
life hits everyone by his actions. sooner or later, you do not have to punish him. life will do it in much moreinteresting way, you just will not know about it.
i think, which is simply the way i think, i am human and can be wrong, but: revenge is destruction to the one who does it. we are not gods to decide who should get what. you do not know exactly why this person did this to you, why he became like that, who affected him.
this person is only worth pity. he is so broken that you do not need to make anything more, he already destroyed by his past that keeps affecting him.
i would try my best to forgive because day by day we affect each other. even simple word can have much more meaning to unknown being than you planned to mean by it. every action has a price. revenge is gonna be more expensive to you than you know. if you believe in karma, why you believe revenge?
Cindy Lawson (author) from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on March 18, 2012:
I love to believe in Karma myself, trouble is that in many cases so far it has let me down, or at the very least I have no way of knowing if karmic justice actually happened or not. I really need to know for sure that justice has been served personally, so unless I hear that it has, I feel unfulfilled and that something really needs to be done about it.
anonymous on March 18, 2012:
I would never do something life altering to anyone as an act of revenge even if they had done something life altering to me. I'm a firm believer of kharma and they will get back what they deserve 10x fold.
Cindy Lawson (author) from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on March 16, 2012:
I am so sorry to hear about your Brother EssexBoy, that is just a terrible story. I really see why you feel as hurt and angry as you do, (I would feel the same). I really hope the legal system doesn't fail you.
EssexBoy on March 16, 2012:
well my brother was killed by hit and run why on holiday and the person that done it pulled him from underneath the truck and drove off, he was caught but still out awaiting a court date what keeps getting adjourned and they have no remorse! the way we were treated and my brothers body! yet i have the blokes details: house address, number, name etc etc now if he gets away with it people think its right to leave it at that! NO JUSTICE! no ill take everything the man owns, Ill leave him with NOTHING! ill hurt everyone of his family that are in his house at the time and make him watch it an even then it wouldn't be enough to what im feeling now but i will know that he has been punished in a way that inflicts pain what my brother would have gone through!!! sometimes revenge is the right answer......
Cindy Lawson (author) from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on March 04, 2012:
Thanks for commenting Anonymity, depending on what they had done I may or may not agree with you, but thanks for sharing them :)
Anonymity on March 04, 2012:
Well, to be honest I chose Other because the psychological warfare is the way to go. Lets say they humiliate you for the last time; mug you, break your possessions and things like that, It's a worse ending if you can get them to live every second in paranoia, if you can even push it further to insanity; which in recourse might even make them commit suicide. It's much, much more enjoyable than just plain out killing them or slapping their wrists.
Cindy Lawson (author) from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on February 26, 2012:
I think in that situation I would feel the same way as you Paul.
paul on February 26, 2012:
if someone were to murder my wife and child a would make them beg for death and not grant them it till i have caused so much pain to them
Cindy Lawson (author) from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on February 23, 2012:
Thanks Sandra, glad you liked it :)
Sandra on February 23, 2012:
Hello again this article was awsome
Cindy Lawson (author) from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on January 29, 2012:
I can well imagine you are RAGE, I hope he gets what he deserves.
RAGE on January 29, 2012:
Some motherfucker just abused my best female friend (thank god she wasn't raped). I knew he meant trouble, seemed like a sweet talking piece of shit, a skirt chaser, but I wouldn't have thought he would go psycho on her.
If I ever see him again I might beat him up so badly, he can't walk for the next few weeks!
I am extremely pissed off right now!
Ravi on January 18, 2012:
Give me some info too. 09709176069
Cindy Lawson (author) from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on January 14, 2012:
I am so sorry to hear what happened to your cat. I had a cat killed by a dog in Tenerife the same way, and I was devastated. She had four week old kittens at the time too, and had hidden them somewhere away from our home, so I have no idea if they survived or not.
I just hope the dog that did this ended up somewhere where it could not harm other cats or animals, and that its quality of life and its temperament improved. It is so sad all round. I would have wanted some kind of revenge on the owner in your situation, although I could never have poisoned the dog, (I might have stolen it and taken it a very long way away and tied it up outside a rescue centre though, hoping it wasn't microchipped and would be dealt with in an appropriate manner by the rescue centre).
Queenpeasant on January 14, 2012:
You've certainly given me a lot to think about. I especially "hear" your message because the delivery of your message is so calm, rational and intelligent. I've always been a peaceful individual and I abhor violence. Having read these web pages and given it some thought, I believe my intense dislike of violence out weighs my peaceful nature. In other words, if someone had tortured and murdered one of my pets and gotten away with it and say actually laughed in my face at it, well, I must admit, I would feel driven to make sure this person was encouraged in some effective way to never again harm another living creature. As you have stressed, it is important to be sure the person is actually guilty. Also, I am one of those law-abiding types. Makes it a bit more difficult, but that's just me.
There was a time, years ago, when something similar to my "what if" situation involving a pet actually happened. We had a little cat named Maisie Grace. She was black and white and we'd found her with her two kittens years ago and after spaying/neutering the trio we kept them for YEARS. Early every morning they'd line up in the kitchen for a bit of canned cat food and then all three would step outside on the back patio for some fresh air. One morning a big dog ran out of nowhere into our rather large back yard and before I could do a thing he got Maisie Grace by the neck and shook her and it was over. She died in her yard not 10 feet from the back door. I went for the dog, he dropped her and took off. Soon I found out that the new neighbors had said dog tied up on a 6 foot tether in their back yard. That dog would be out there rain or shine on this short, short leash all day every day. I guess they took him in at night. But sometimes she let him off the leash and everyone in the area began to keep their cats and small dogs inside. I couldn't stop thinking about poor Maisie Grace being murdered right before me, all caused by a woman who had no business owning or even being acquainted with a dog. I spoke to a close friend who is a retired animal doctor, he immediately claimed it was my duty to protect other pets and quite possibly children by getting rid of this dog.
Of course, after the dog killed my cat, I called the local Animal Control. They basically said I couldn't "prove" that dog killed my cat, or that the cat didn't "provoke" the dog. I would have needed to have gotten it on film for a judge to be able to even fine this woman. They did go to my neighbors house and leave some sort of brochure on their front door. I kept calling to report them for violating the law by having the dog chained up like that but nothing ever changed. My retired-vet-neighbor-friend, who had cancer at the time, kept advising me to poison the dog. He offered me a way to put something in some meat and the dog would just go to sleep. Forever. Just like that. I knew I had a serious choice to make. I remember really struggling with this. I'm not a vegetarian, I do eat some meat and I wear leather shoes and all that, but I've never killed an animal. Then, something else happened, another neighborhood cat was found dead in it's own yard. Someone saw a big, black, longish haired dog running around the yard, barking. Apparently the other cat who lived at that residence was up a tree. I went to bed that night feeling like I should have poisoned that dog before he'd gotten another defenseless pet. I still regret it. The dog was a miserable animal, turned mean and with a taste for blood. It really wasn't his fault his owner had made him into a monster, but we simply cannot have monsters running loose to slaughter whomever they please. That poor, despicable beast needed to be put out of his misery. The owner needed to be fined, made to work hard labor at a very large animal shelter with plenty of litter boxes to clean. She needed to be denied the right to ever own a pet again. Most of all, our neighborhood needed to be free of this menace, this leaping, bounding, actually pretty dog, who was made into a killing machine by a very cruel and stupid woman.
The next morning the dog was simply GONE. Not to the pound. No. Not anywhere we could find. She'd simply spirited him away. Possibly to a family member, possibly driven to a country road and turned loose. Since we weren't on speaking terms, I never had the opportunity to ask her. Other neighbors tried and she stonewalled them, I'm told, and spoke of a "better" home in her near future. They had put their house on the market within weeks of the dog's last sighting. Back then houses sold quickly around here, they were gone in a couple of months. I still wish I'd gotten rid of that dog. Then again, I'm also glad he's went away and I didn't have to have a hand in it. Maybe I'm not cut out for revenge. I pray I never have to find out.
Mistyhorizon, I have little experience with web pages and hubs or of "threads" and such, although I've read up a bit and dabbled with a few online games and plenty of Facebook. I'm not particularly savvy with all this technology (still get my books at the library every week), however, I will say I've very much enjoyed your well stated and thought provoking topic, and I appreciate you taking the time to say these things in such a sensible manner. It's rash, brash types that give the very concept of revenge a bad name!
Cindy Lawson (author) from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on January 05, 2012:
Problem 1, is how many people can realistically go on to be on TV, on adverts or in a movie in order to show their ex how 'well' they are doing? Very few indeed I suspect.
I don't agree Murder is an option that we should consider unless in self defence, but mostly because I think this is too easy for the guilty person, and the original victim ends up being the one who is punished.
Karma is something I want so badly to believe in, yet all too often I see the perpetrators of a crime get away with it and go on to live happy lives without any sign of karma kicking in. Best to make sure it does if you ask me!
I definitely disagree that revenge leaves you 'empty and miserable', in fact quite the opposite, it can give you closure, and a feeling that at least justice has been done, the truth has come out etc. I think the 'trust' was already gone when they did the dirty deed on the victim in the first place, and why would you want to 'forgive' a person who clearly couldn't give a damn about what they had done to you anyway? I think you are very unlikely to end up feeling 'miserable' as a result of getting revenge (I can't think of anyone I know who has said that after getting just revenge on someone who deserved it). We have no problem with 'revenge' when the courts issue it in the form of jail sentences, so what is so different about the private individual arranging it? If revenge is 'evil' then so is the judicial system and so are jail sentences, as there is little difference between revenge and justice in the eyes of a victim of a bad deed or a crime.
I really do urge you to read my other article and the experiences of those in the comments section before drawing such hard and fast conclusions as to the effects of getting revenge, whether it is right or wrong and if it is a good or a bad thing to do. In many cases revenge is a way to take control of our lives back after we have been on the receiving end of some kind of cruelty or abuse. It empowers us and makes us strong again, plus putting in perspective how pathetic the person or people who did this to us in the first place were.
mutagen from under my cat. on January 05, 2012:
mistyhorison2003, yeah, my idea is forlost lovers mainly. but by living well i mean living well enough for those people not only find out but see your success everywhere they go. for example your ex already forgot you but nobody forgets completely if you dated more than a month. so that person now can see you on his favorite tv show, your face is even in front of his window on the advertisement of a new fragrance for example. sooner or later he will understand why that face reminds him something. when he will, his amazement will be huge according to what you were when you left him.
it is just an example why living well can become a good revenge. when you actually annoy person by being not yours but on this damn advertisement and in a new movie he comes with his new gf. haha
i personally see no point in any revenge like murder etc because this person dies/gets hurt/angry but you are the one who is gonna pay for it later because as they say - what comes round comes around(or something like that?). it is karma. i believe in such stuff. everyone gets what they deserve. and so will those people get everything for their sins.
revenge never gives real satisfaction. it makes you empty. your soul can calm down after making them pay but you will lose a part of you that was able to trust and forgive. you will feel miserable and on level of those bastards because of the revenge. it will make you be as they are. what is good in the revenge then?
the more you think about making revenge the more time you waste on those people who didn't deserve your time before. life is short. revenge is pointless because it is just a waste of your creativity on doing something evil mainly..
of corse there are a lot of situations when revenge is not only acceptable but is the best option. still, every case is different. but i know for sure any type of revenge destroys us more than people to who we make that revenge..
Cindy Lawson (author) from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on January 02, 2012:
Thanks for your feedback and thoughts on this article. To a point I agree, but of course most of your comment refers to those who have reason to get revenge against a lost lover who has treated them unfairly. I have had experience in this, amongst other 'revenge' situations, and I have to say you cannot rely on 'being happy' as a good revenge, especially if they have left you for someone else (they had probably already lost interest in you anyway, and by showing your life is okay without them you simply salve their conscience, if they have one at all!).
In my other article on revenge you see from the comments how low some people will stoop, and why revenge on such people really is the best 'band aid' for you, the victim. One example in the comments on that article is the guy who lied to his own son about having terminal Cancer so his ex would not chase him for maintenance for their son. As a result the son went through school missing out on school trips etc his Mum could not afford on her own. It was only much later she saw pictures of her ex on Facebook, happy AND healthy, in a new relationship and living it up in Florida (or some similar hot and luxurious location). You can see why in a situation like this that revenge may be a load more effective than just 'living well' surely?
mutagen from under my cat. on January 02, 2012:
mmm i love this topic.
best revenge is showing people that your life is so much better without them.
make them regret that they've lost you. become the person they would desire to have in their life. become successful and beautiful, become a person they cannot resist but stare at and want.
and if any of those people who left you alone once, will have enough courage to come to you and try to be "friends again" you with a huge pleasure calmly say them you have no time in your life for them.
the best revenge is ignorance to people after making them want you again in their lives(after they left you themselves). be kind, don't laugh like "haha, so here you are, begging me to come back, but noo on earth". be kind and say "i am sorry, i am really busy" or something with a sweet warming smile on your face. make them fall in love with you and want you for the rest of their lives knowing they can't have you AGAIN no matter what they do.
it's like becoming worldwide famous one of the sexiest people on earth everyone would like to have.
it is quite silly -revenge in general. but it is still pleasurable to know how far can you go leaving all those regrets of past behind and instead of crying about people who forgot you existed you can make a goal of making your life brilliant just for the sake of destroying their bright plan to leave you in the first place for someone better.
ok, i just have such a plan. it is better than killing or hurting people because regret is stronger than hate(and if you hurt them they will hate you. but if they regret they had a chance and lost it - this is so much more painful for them).
so yeah, the best revenge is actually living well. let them think about you all the time and CRY.
Cindy Lawson (author) from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on December 29, 2011:
Wow cvernon, I am sorry this happened to you and don't know exactly what they did to deserve it, sounds bad though. Have you read my other article on revenge yet?
cvernon114 on December 29, 2011:
This person took the mick out of me so what i did was applied for loans and caterlogs and broadband in someones name so they have the stress off there credit reports droping and also the stress that the broadband provider trys to conncet the sevice
I got arrested for it and lost my job and everything but i am happy with what i have done to them i would do it again if i have to
Cindy Lawson (author) from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on October 30, 2011:
That is terrible Eric, I am so sorry they were killed. I hope it wasn't deliberate, but if it was I really hope justice is done for your parents.
eric on October 29, 2011:
somebody killed my mom and dad and i will get my revenge
Cindy Lawson (author) from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on September 11, 2011:
Hi Reaper-17, thanks for commenting here too :)
Reaper-17 on September 10, 2011:
*Gulps* Donald sorry to hear that @@. I don't know how to advise you on this but may God help you and tell you what to do @@
Cindy Lawson (author) from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on August 14, 2011:
Well it sounds like you are having a terrible and unfair time Donald, and I really do feel for you. Sadly I live in the UK and cannot advise you of what you can do in a situation like this. Hopefully someone else will step forward and advise you here, or make contact with you directly.
I sincerely wish you good luck.
Donald Beaney on August 14, 2011:
Please help me save my home,
No I am not behind on my mortgage.
No I am not going to file for bankruptcy.
No I am not getting a divorce from my wife.
The fact is my own village is slowly destroying my home.
How is a disabled man suppose protect his property from "city hall" when city hall uses my own tax dollars to hide behind their Insurance Company? After attending every board meeting, pleading with each board member to see how the road work was destroying my foundation.
All because the X-mayor and I have had this feud for the past 45 years. All he had to do was say "that looks pre-existing."
Then to have all (board members, Assemblymen, Senators) tell me that I would have to get a lawyer to force the village to do the right thing.
Since I am disabled, unable to work at my trade anymore I have sold 90% of my tools and truck to hire a lawyer, after which my village board turned this "situation" over to their Insurance Co. which is being paid for with my tax dollars! ???????????
To make things even worse all of those (board members, Assemblymen, Senators) who told me to get a lawyer are now telling me that they can't help me because I got the courts involved?
In 2006 my village re-engineered the road in front of my house, new water, sewer, road drainage, sidewalk and blacktop. One of the main reasons for this was because the old sewer line was collecting too much ground water and over working our newly up-dated sewer treatment plant.
Shortly after they had switched everyone over onto the new sewer line the capped both ends of the old line "ONLY" leaving the rest of the old line in ground, still collecting all that extra ground water but now it is bubbling up from under my foundation. This was pointed out to everyone before any brick, cement or blacktop was put down.
There idea to fix this problem was to install a "french drain" in behind my house after it bubbled up from under the foundation and pipe it to the river. My lawyer said if I didn't allow them to do this then they could always claim that they tried to fix it and I would not let them. Even after I told him that this fix would only make things worse, that allowing the water to move faster from under my foundation would only cause faster erosion.
3 1/2 years later Justice Muller (Essex County Supreme Court Justice) in chambers told both my lawyer and the village Ins. Co. lawyers that this case had dragged on long enough. For both parties to get act together and give this man his day in court. It was at this time the village Ins. Co. filled a third party complaint against the construction co. that did the work. This side stepped the judges orders, brought in a second Ins. Co. and their lawyers which just flooded my lawyer into submission. He told me that this was just too much for one man He told the judge that he and I where not getting along and asked to be released as attorney of record.
Now every lawyer I contact want a huge upfront deposit ($5,-7,000.00) plus $180.per hr. A few of them told me that even then I would be throwing good money after bad, that there was no way either one of these Ins. Co. would ever allow this case to get in front of a judge. This is how they win cases that have all of the evidences against them. "To Litigate them"
After all of this I have come to realize that the only way to get this Village to do the right thing is to shame them into it.
In doing this I plan to hang my American Flag, union down as is permitted by the United States Code; Title 4, Chapter 1, § 8 - Respect for Flag. And on both sides signs stating those involved with the project responsible for the damages to my home.
I pray that this does not offend you.
P.O. Box 255
Lake Placid NY, 12946
(518) 523-2417 - home
(518) 527-1138 - personal cell
Cindy Lawson (author) from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on May 05, 2011:
Brilliant story JamaGenee, a fabulous result, and a justified end to the devious woman who was being so spiteful and vindictive to what sounds like a pretty decent guy trying to do the break up the decent way. Thanks for sharing it here.
Joanna McKenna from Central Oklahoma on May 04, 2011:
A friend's live-in girlfriend was purposely making life a living hell for him over who actually owned the car they shared. One of those legal gray areas that conceivably could land him in jail long enough for her to empty the house they shared, of furniture and such that he'd had long before he met her. He'd tried everything to get rid of her nicely, to no avail, but when I heard she was about to "drop a dime" on him (have him arrested), I dropped a dime on her instead. Alerted the owner of the beauty school she worked at that she had a loaded, unregistered pistol in her purse, which she kept at her work station. The school, naturally, had a "no firearms on the premises" policy. Not only did she lose her job *during* that phone call, she left town immediately afterward and my friend never heard "boo" from her again except that she assumed his mother had made the call. (Hint: the best revenge is doing it in such a way that it won't be traced back to you.) ;D
Cindy Lawson (author) from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on October 16, 2010:
Hi Sarah, Do bear in mind she is only 3 years old, and although I don't know how old you are, clearly it is somewhat older. It is far better to get your parents to have a word with her and maybe make her stand in the "Naughty Corner" for so many minutes as a punishment. Some of the revenge you are talking about could completely traumatise a 3 year old and even make her ill. You will be the one who ends up in trouble with your parents for it too as the 'older Sister who should be old enough to know better and rise above such behaviour'.
Just my thoughts, you always have to allow for the fact she is only 3, and therefore any punishment should be appropriate to her age, not your own levels of frustration.
Sarah on October 15, 2010:
My three year old sister broke into my bedroom and snapped a leg and an ear off one of my model horses. I was ready to frickin fling her off a cliff when I found out. Naturally, she refuses to tell me where the leg & ear are. I plan on "borrowing" all of her barbies (hiding them in my brother's bedroom), putting some crickets in her bed and putting hotsauce in her food. It may seem rather extreme, but she's broken and taken a TON of things from me, and so far I've never bothered doing anything.
Cindy Lawson (author) from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on March 30, 2010:
Wow, that is nasty Nick, I would hate to think anyone innocent would die simply because they happened to be related to the wrong person. Seems rather unfair really, although I know this kind of thing does go on in various countries.
Nick on March 29, 2010:
Kill there children, there neices and nephews, brothers sister. This drastically reduces the chance to pass their inferior genes on. This is what gorilla gane in third world countries do. Eventually the pain inside the person who the revenge is taken on surpasses the person taking justice, which is a very good reason to keep them alive.
FightingForYou on February 26, 2010:
I use to belive in justice, till I seen the injustice done to my boyfriend and the father of our 3 children. Every peace of evidence in his defence is beeng ignored and the word of a manipulating, unfit, drug using, bypolar, manic depressive ex becomes fact. All just to get gain sole custody of a child she abandoned 3 times. There are actually laws that make it easy for psychopaths to ruin innocent peoples lives and even more idiots that belive everything they were told is true. How would you feel if you seen your kids hearts broken, hear their cryes and feel their pain daily? The only thing I have to say to this: This person need to thank God that my kids need me, but she better hope to never cross my way.
Cindy Lawson (author) from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on November 02, 2009:
True enough teendad, you definitely need to be very certain of your facts before you take revenge. Thanks for commenting :)
teendad from Richmond, VA on November 02, 2009:
You can make some mistakes when enacting revenge, especially if you are wrong about the suspected affair. Although, some might quote, "Kill'em all, and let God sort'em out!"
Cindy Lawson (author) from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on October 06, 2009:
Thanks Jess, a very valid point, there is a very fine line between justice and revenge. Great comment :)
Jess Killmenow from Nowheresville, Eastern United States on October 06, 2009:
There is a fine line, I think, between revenge and justice. Infidelity is a stupid reason for revenge, I think. But if someone hurt a loved one, I would want to make sure they never had another opportunity to do it again.
Cindy Lawson (author) from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on October 04, 2009:
Hi noelr, you make good points, and I agree with your last statement "I would leave revenge for major injuries against ourselves or our loved ones"
and to me this includes pets as well as humans. As for "What's a major injury", well I guess you have to judge it by a combination of pain inflicted and long term damage, both physical and emotional. Thanks for commenting here :)
Noel Rodriguez from New York on October 04, 2009:
I would want revenge if my pet or family was intentionally harmed by someone. I would feel deserved of it, entitled to it. The problem I see with revenge, aside from revenge befalling on an innocent party, is that there is no telling what the offend party will find offensive. There is no measure that will dictate the level of retaliation to be dealt, Or for how long would the retaliation will last. What inflames me may not inflame the next person. What some would consider and innocent enjoyment of music may cause someone else to place their lifelihood in jeopardy. I would leave revenge for major injuries against ourselves or our loved ones, then again who's to say what's a major injury?
Cindy Lawson (author) from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on October 03, 2009:
Hi TOF, thank you for sharing this story with us, and what a horrifying tale it is too. You do make an excellent case against revenge, and in this instance I would not have condoned revenge by the farmer as the daughter was a willing participant. I wouldn't have blamed the family whose son was incorrectly castrated though, even though they showed amazing stength of character by not retaliating. Did the farmer get some kind of punishment do you know, e.g. jail time?
Cindy Lawson (author) from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on October 03, 2009:
Thanks for commenting here Narayan, I only condone revenge when there is no doubt whatsover as to the guilt of the person involved though.
Cindy Lawson (author) from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on October 03, 2009:
Hi Tamcor, you must have been worried sick, but what if there had been a terrible accident and your child or children were killed because of him. Would you have wanted/needed/taken revenge??
The Old Firm from Waikato/Bay Of Plenty, New Zealand on October 02, 2009:
Regretably, often the wrong person is the accused, and unfortunately then convicted in many cases. Torching their' house, beating them up or worse makes you no better than them, indeed far worse if they were in fact innocent.
A case to mind from when my mother was young, was of a farmer in her community who's daughter got pregnant. (She may not have wanted the baby but she was all for the manufacturing process!) Said father castrated her teenage boyfriend. - only problem, wrong bloke. That act of revenge destroyed a young man's life. Even if he'd got the right one, the girl was willing, what right had he to destroy his life. The boy was a teen, he was undoubtedly scared of adults and traumatised. Why shouldn't the boy's family have got together and shot the farmer or beaten the living shit out of him and ripped HIS balls out. They didn't, maybe because they too were scared of him, but also because they were civilised people, and without constraint society will break down.
Narayan on October 02, 2009:
We need to take revenge one way or the other to the best of possible way.
Tammy Cornett from Ohio on October 02, 2009:
Misty--We lived with that fear every time he took them...
Cindy Lawson (author) from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on October 02, 2009:
Good example Tom, and imagine how you both might have felt if that same natural father had caused the children to be killed in drink/driving related incident!
Tom Cornett from Ohio on October 02, 2009:
What goes around comes around....A judge that wouldn't listen to my wife, Tammy and I about the danger our children were in by riding with a drunken, drug addict natural father....just got busted for drunk driving.
Great hub here...a lot to think about. Thanks. :)
Cindy Lawson (author) from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on October 02, 2009:
Cheers Jiberish, I want to belive what goes around comes around, but it doesn't always, or at least if it does, I don't always know about it, so am left feeling resentful. Glad you enjoyed my hub :)
Cindy Lawson (author) from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on October 02, 2009:
Hi Diogenes, great comment, and I know even fogies are frustrating in a supermarket for instance, but I don't want to kill them at least LOL :) Yes, I guess I do have a personal stake in this hub, in as much as I could seriously hurt someone who did a really bad thing to my family or pets, plus I would feel it was total justice being done, (especially if I never got caught for it) :)
Cindy Lawson (author) from Guernsey (Channel Islands) on October 02, 2009:
Hmmm Paradise7, I love your faith that "Everything evens out in the long run", but all too often I don't see this happen in the real world, (with a few exceptions of course). I would kind of like to see the justice done to them in this lifetime, not at some random point in infinity when I will never know if it happens or not :)
jiberish from florida on October 02, 2009:
Revenge, "an eye for an eye..", gets tamer the older we get, I think. It never feels good to be hurt or to see our family, friends, even pets hurt, I have always believed that "what goes around comes around" more so after I reached 30. Great Hub.
diogenes on October 02, 2009:
Did someone say the best revenge is living well? Do we sense a personal stake in this hub? To be driven into a deserving heart, perhaps?
It's a provoking question, isn't it, the old "eye for an eye," etc. I think most would wish it if they could get away with it. I would happily draw and quarter fogies getting in my way in Tesco, for example.
Paradise7 from Upstate New York on October 02, 2009:
Now, misty, hon, calm down!!! S'ok, it's all right. Everything evens out in the long run. People that do miserable, ugly things are not happy people. By being themselves they're visited with enough revenge: they're condemned to continue being themselves until the day they die.