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Forgiveness of The Unforgivable

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Centfie writes empirical views based on observation, experience, and research.


These are my reflections on the issues of justice, crimes against humanity, healing from trauma, and forgiveness. Are there crimes that do not deserve forgiveness? Can you find healing and peace after you or your loved one is a victim of horrendous crimes that ruin their lives completely?

What is Unforgivable?

At an interpersonal level, our measures of wrongs differ from individual to individual. What another considers to be unforgivable, another will easily overlook or see it as deserving of forgiveness.

Another person may forgive the wrongdoer after understanding the prevailing circumstances e.g. a moment of temporary insanity, grief, depression, or psychosis.

For example, a mother who commits infanticide because of domestic violence to her and her firstborn child and being thrown out of her marital house when she is nine months pregnant and faces constant emotional abuse. At face value, she is condemned for her actions without understanding how her circumstances messed with her mind and according to her, she was making a reasonable decision.

Then, there are the universally accepted unforgivable behaviours for which humankind agree that the perpetrators deserve severe punishment such as the actions of paedophiles, rapists, human traffickers, and murderers. Anything that ruins or ends someone else's life is deemed unforgivable.

Unfortunately, so many seem to get away with the "unforgivable" especially if they hold powerful positions or massive wealth.

In this world, some people have only been tamed by religion, parents, or fear of repercussions. Given the opportunity to commit violent atrocious acts against fellow humans with no risk of being caught, they'd do it without blinking an eye.

Resilience and Vulnerability

Resilience is required in order to bear the psychological pain with only mild symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. But, the risk of getting severe symptoms is high, and can make life unbearable.

I have been assaulted, molested, attacked by an angry mob, among other things for the short time I have been on earth. Things I never thought would ever happen to me. I have seen worse happen to my friends, clients (I am a counselor,) and strangers alike.

However, in time I have come to an understanding of what made these people commit these crimes. They are filthy human beings with serious mental and spiritual problems.

Nonetheless, because I know why they did it, this doesn't excuse their behavior or justify it. Furthermore, these are crimes which in my country are often poorly handled with no clear line about when justice is served. I had not done any wrong to these people.

I was simply a vulnerable person in a vulnerable situation, and they took advantage of it at their perceived moment of power. I was a victim once, but I no longer am.

Their actions affected my life and shaped my perceptions of life and sexuality, but they no longer ruin my peace of mind. I forgave them and let the path of justice follow its course.

Do such People Know Happiness?

I would like to believe they don't; since they live constantly on their toes fighting to appear innocent, and trying to get away with their vile acts by committing other atrocities.

I would like to believe that their mind condemns them and they do not know peace or happiness.

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And if they think they have it, it's an illusion and a state of mind that actually deserves a lot of psychiatric medication, or maybe exorcism.

Of the man who penetrates the vagina of a 15-month old baby. What possible understanding of circumstances can someone give to justify such deplorable behavior? Can a victim or loved ones forgive such a person?

Imagine the pain that the rapist puts the child through. A child who did not ask to be alive and simply arrived in this world to live.

You can steal, con, commit fraud, and other things, but when someone defiles another person's body and crashes their spirit, do they deserve forgiveness?

Forgiveness and Healing

Forgiveness is a personal thing. Or it may be a legal thing. But is it a required thing?

No matter how angry we get at such people, we cannot undo the damage caused. Perhaps you'll get an inkling of justice if they are locked up somewhere for a while, and not hurt others. But, the damage they caused, stays with you for the rest of your life.

Your choice is to either let it control you or seek healing and let it be a passing memory giving you a perspective that places you in a better position to help others who have been hurt in a similar way.

If you are the victim, you have to painstakingly live with that memory long after the physical healing.

It is such aftermath for the victims that makes crimes against human life to be universally accepted as "unforgivable."

Justice is overrated.

In my case, justice, or the law, did not follow its course as expected. Laws can be overridden by careful use of language until facts are not proven beyond doubt. Even when a crime was committed and people suffered.

However, with proper channels, justice can be sought and possibly found. Hence, giving a warning to others who have not been caught and bringing a degree of satisfaction to the victims and their families.

Despite the disappointments of justice, I am at peace and I let go of the pain. Now, I devote my life to help others who are suffering from fresh mental wounds. If I could, I would erase all the people who mutilate, defile, torture, and murder fellow human being.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2021 Centfie


Centfie (author) from Kenya on February 11, 2021:

Dora Weithers, thank you for reading. Yes, it is.

Dora Weithers from The Caribbean on February 11, 2021:

No doubt, it is healing to you when you express your views with such openness. You make us think and rethink our won. Thank you.

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