For every person on this globe, have you ever been rejected from your family as you have choices different from them, fired from job or had career setbacks, affronted by teasing and jeering glances by our friends, picked up from your favorite team, snubbed by your friends and ostracized for behaving in a different manner from people around you?
If you exposed of any of them , please trying to answer these question.
- Is it easy to seem not really of the kind that people admired ?
- According to our brain's system , Is there a difference between broken heart and broken arm or bone ?
- Can the pain resulted from rejection be treated like physical pain ?
- Can we have the ability to get over this disgusting troll of rejection ?
We emerged to this globe as sociable persons having a tendency towards belonging to a group, to whom we affiliate,have positive and lasting relations depending on for our lives. This social acceptance from people around us is essential and it is akin to our desire for food and water. " this need is deeply rooted in our evolutionary history and has all sorts of consequences for modern psychological processes ," says Nathan Dewall , PhD , a psychologist at the University of Kentucky.
When the world becomes harsh to us , our acceptance and familiarity among our tribe will be the balm and protector from disillusionment. So , we extremely struggled to be accepted , appreciated , got attention and love from our group or our tribe . But ,sometimes these efforts exerted to have lasting relationship become useless . As we get rejection .
Rejection's Impact On Teenagers And School Students
To be rejected from your companions as you got low marks, excluded from playing games with your friends and affronted by teasing glances is a dangerous matter endangering much ill feeling inside our souls especially for school students. Truth to say, all these matters work certain frightful changes in their personality. Galvanized surges of anger, aggression and school shooting.
In an experiment applied to measure and test the extent of violence and aggression that ostracized persons perform, Researchers divide participants into two categories: the first is the accepted and appreciated people and the second is the rejected people. Then, they are given a hot sauce and asked to put this hot sauce into the food of each other. Sadly to say, rejected persons put high amounts of hot sauce to their partners who hate it.
In 2001, the Surgeon General of the U.S issued a report assuring that violence resulted from rejection and Ostracism is more dangerous on children than drugs, poverty and gang membership. In 2003, leary and his colleagues analyzed 15 cases of school shooter between 1995 and 2000 to examine the role of social rejection on school violence.They found that thirteen of them became shooters after receiving peer rejection and exclusion . Also, these students seem to have a strong yearning towards using guns and bombs.
For The brain ,There Is No Difference Between An Broken Arm And Dilapidated Heart
Did I ever tell you that when we are harassed, ignored,excluded and rejected by our friends, spouses, co workers and family, our brain interprets this signal as it is as a physical pain ( broken arm ). Naomi Eisenberger, PhD, at the University of California, Los Angeles, assures that when we are rejected, our description of the pain is summed up in these terms: "my heart was broken, "I felt crushed" ," he hurt my feeling",It was like a slap in the face."
In 2003, Naomi Eisenberger and her colleagues made an experiment to study the attitudes of rejected people inside an FMRI scanner. They use a technique called " Cyberball" in which the subject is put inside an FMRI scanner while playing an online tossing game with two or three players. In the beginning, the subject is given the chance to toss the ball with the other players and enjoy acceptance among them. After couples of minutes passed, this subject is excluded from the game by the programmer and he only watches them playing.
The results showed that there is an increased activity in these two regions activating during physical pains: dorsal anterior Cingulate and the anterior insulation. Eisenberger says, " As far as your brain is concerned, a broken heart is not so different from a broken arm. "
The Other Toll triggered By Rejection
Rejection lowers your performance on difficult intellectual tasks like IQ. Imagine, you are performing IQ and during this test a bitter disgusting experience of your exclusion from your team passed through your brain, what happened ? Absolutely, your mind started to dissipate and then your concentration decreases. Also,Ostracism increases your tides of rage, anxiety, depression and jealousy. It also contributes to poor control and sleep quality and thus, your immune system.
We Can Treat Rejection Aches With The Same Treatment Of Physical pain (tylenol)
Have you heard before that Tylenol reduces the emotional pain of rejection?
In another study carried by Eisenberger and her colleagues to know the impact of taking acetaminophen on rejected people, they assign volunteer people into two categories. The first category will try to recall previous rejection and after that they will be given two daily doses of acetaminophen ( tylenol) for three weeks. The second category also do the same but they will take a placebo.The results from this hypothesis showed that that Tylenol group reported less emotional pain and less brain activity in the regions responsible for physical pain ( dorsal anterior Cingulate and the anterior insulation) than placebo group.
Try To Boost ,Revive Your Confidence , Self Esteem And Learn From Rejection
As we know ,receiving a rejection isn't easy and sometimes, its wounds became difficult to be dosed or healed . But ,we should have the ability to cope with it , learn from it ,curb its troll and rebuild our dilapidated heart. When strong and wise people ask themselves "what I have acquired from getting fired , jeering glances and my friends'snubbing. Whenever you recognize the areas needing improvement , you consider it as a precious opportunity for you .For example, when you get fired from your job, recognize the reasons beyond this refusal and start to dose it then, apply for another job. When you are rejected from your friends, start to search for other friends and make relations with them. Whatever the rejection you receive that makes you lament your shortcoming ,recognize and have a leap of faith that your are gifted and you have repositories of buried jewels that need from you to make little soul searching to reach to them and try to develop them .After ,you find your real treasures, start to value and appreciate your self as you have these qualities. Then ,start to make relations with people who recognize your value.
© 2022 Nariman Ismail