Hawley Should Switch The DC Stage For a Karoake Bar
By now, thanks to the video that emerged from the January 6 Commission, everyone has seen his cowardly act. Representative Josh Hawley is seen running scared in the Capitol, fearing the mob he had just infamously helped rile up.
Late night TV hosts such as Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon have joined an endless list of comics who have made fun of the disgraced politician, who will likely have a difficult time ever riding this out. Like so many of us who have been forced at one time or another to eat crow, Hawley's best approach may just be to laugh about it himself.
He could begin by appearing as a guest of some of the previously mentioned late night TV hosts, on which he could perhaps perform karaoke. His song selection could be standards with slight changes in titles, all of which would allude facetiously to his ignominious escape act.
Here are some possible selections for his karaoke performance.
1. Good Golly Mr. Hawley by Little Richard
A simple pun in a line from the chorus would surely provide a few groans, when changed to “Sure like to bawl.”
2. Hawley Hawley Oxen Free by the Kingston Trio
The origin of the phrase, turned into a song made popular by the Sixties folk act, indicates the end of a game of tag or hide and seek. It fits the politician perfectly.
3. Hawley Getting Over It by Husker Du
The last line in the first verse is quite applicable to Hawley: “and all he did was cry.”
4. Well Goodbye Hawley by Barbra Streisand
Rather than the greeting in Hello Dolly, this title change could leave unaltered the line “It's so nice to put you back where you belong.”
5. Hawley-pop by the Chordettes
“Like lightning from the sky”, a simile used in the classic pop hit, is also a fitting comparison to Hawley on January 6.
6. Mr. Hawley by Ozzy Osbourne
The former Black Sabbath front man asks Mr. Crowley “Won't you ride my white horse,” an offer I am certain the politician would have gladly have accepted to escape his lovable mob.
7. Hawley the Breeze by Lynyrd Skynyrd
“If I can't hide from nobody, I guess I better flee” is the slight change needed for the Southern Rock song to accurately describe the subject.
8. Buddy Hawley by Weezer
The politician would have to look in the mirror to find the answer to the question asked in the first verse of the alternative rock hit, which is “What did we ever do to these guys that made them so violent.”
9. Josh, the Way You Are by Billy Joel
Unlike the character in the song, “You will leave us in times of trouble and you'll take the good times, but not the bad times, 'cause that's just the way you are.”
10. Josh, a Faster Walk With Thee by Patsy Cline
Similar to the statement in the classic country standard, its new version would say “Your political life is o'er, Time for you will be no more.”