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Civilian Guns -- A Strange Feature of American Mentality: A Satire

Val offers his views on dogmatic aspects of cultural paradigm with its religious, political, and medical sterile indoctrinations and taboos.

No country with nukes will ever be attacked -- so what's the existential fear in America all about?

No country with nukes will ever be attacked -- so what's the existential fear in America all about?

When a country with less than five percent of the world's population has nearly half of the world's privately owned guns and makes up nearly a third of the world's mass shootings, it's time to stop saying guns make us safer.

-- De Shanne Stokes

Globally Unique Country Under a Constant Threat -- or What?

According to some believable sources, nearly half of all civilian guns in the world -- those registered and those not -- are in the United States of America -- which inspires to look into this world phenomenon.

As a matter of fact, out of 195 countries in the world, only in 3 of them civilian guns are constitutionally granted -- America, Mexico and Guatemala.

Historically, in America, that law was created in times when cowboys needed guns to kill a snake, or a coyote, occasional bandit, or an Indian who dared to protect his territory. The law has never been removed, and these days the guns are just as common item in households as cutlery.

So, what's the excuse for that?

Of course, there has to be something like an excuse, since no country will ever attack a country in possession of nukes -- it's a simple healthy logic, not a speculative thinking.

One of those more prominent excuses has something to do with a highly hypothetical oppressive -- fascist, or dictatorial regime, as well as an even more hypothetical and impossible attack by a foreign military.

Well, you can call it whatever more dignified name you want, but it's nothing but a classic, textbook symptom of a massive paranoia, not anything rational.

Look, we are not hearing from the global news anything about any westernized country that lives under an oppressive political arrangement, where civilian guns would help them to topple such a government.

Albeit, truth be told, we just could see "oppression" hiding in democracy, which is nothing but a tranquilizing front behind which corporations and their political puppets are doing whatever they please.

Like political wars that are not defensive, but are a sheer strategy of spreading influence in some regions. Even this recent medical terrorism with draconic measures during pandemic -- well, just follow the money and you are bound to see it behind most of government's rackets.

However, as crazy as most of them are, they never call for people's massive armament.

Even if such a highly unlikely oppressive regime happened -- really, folks, how would your guns be a match to one of the strongest militaries in the world? Like a government that is theoretically able to fight Russia or China would have much problem with a bunch of overweight daddies and grandpas with their pistols.

Come on, folks, why not think of some better excuse.

Has America become a modern day Sparta, a warring state?

Has America become a modern day Sparta, a warring state?

Guns are not the problem. The problem is our fetish with guns.

-- Abhijit Naskar

America -- a Modern Day Sparta?

What comes next to mind is an old adage -- not necessarily universally valid: "Like father, like son." Playing with symbolisms here -- why not see "father" as a Big Daddy the government, and "son" as "We-the-people".

Well, whether it has become obvious by now or not, but for quite a number of years, better say, some decades, America has been turning into a modern day Sparta, a warring state. Sorry, folks, I don't mean "You-the-people", but the Big Daddy the government.

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However, before we start painting some glowing saintly circles around your heads, we can't deny that the Big Daddy's image somehow affected the Kids. That's how the ancient Spartans kept their arms at home in a constant state of readiness -- their kings inventing all kinds of "sinister forces conspiring to kick their proud asses".

Of course, paranoia was strong enough to overshadow the fact of the king's ambitions to spread influence and to fill his royal sacks with gold pieces. Can you make a little conversion in your head by seeing a black sticky liquid instead of the yellow metallic crap?

O.K. you don't have to thank me for this brief lecture in ancient history -- which, after all, reminds of these present political times. So that I could repeat this adage from some of my previous articles:

"History only teaches us one thing -- that it has never taught us anything."

And it could even be quite funny if it was not so sad.

For there we go bombing the crap out of some Middle East folks, and then we call them "terrorists", when they dare to defend their country from our sticking our big nose into their affairs. Not for our defense -- but for our "national interests" which always seem to justify anything.

So what do We-the-people, do about it? What else, we arm ourselves, and as the paranoia rises, handguns are not enough -- now we need assault rifles with scopes, that are so much more promising in our imaginary defense from the Eastern Evil.

Hey, that super-paranoid militia even purchased some tanks from the military surplus market. NOW they are really safe, naive lunatics.

As for the rest of them, ordinary folks, some of those trigger-itchy fingers end up killing some school kids, church-goers, movie-goers, concert-attendants, bar guests, well, does it really matter who gets to be target when someone with a gun goes nuts?

As if that was not enough, those nasty accidents happen -- kids find guns in the house and kill their siblings, parents, friends, themselves...again, does it matter who else, once that the gun is right there and available as a toy?

Yippy! Come on, you Chinese, Russians, Iranians, North Koreans -- I am ready!

Yippy! Come on, you Chinese, Russians, Iranians, North Koreans -- I am ready!

America is drowning in guns. Even if they were all banned from midnight tonight, it would probably take a century or two to get them all out of circulation, and maybe not even then.

-- Stewart Stafford

Just Another Emotional Crutch to Lean On?

Now, there are those things that we want to have in our home "for just in case". Like a plunger, "for just in case" that toilet cannot accommodate a big family that's full of it. Or a flashlight, for "just in case" of an electrical storm hitting a nearby transformer and leaving us in dark.

But "in case of what" do we buy a gun?

For, the most of those who would potentially be after our precious asses are more proficient at attacking than the most of us are proficient at defending ourselves.

Indeed, as statistics are showing, even a skinny teenager can seriously harm you if desperate for his drug money. And that unloaded gun that you keep on top of the closet under your wife's beach hat is just as good for you as that hat that's protecting the gun from the kids' eyes.

I am not kidding either. I don't hear much about instances of someone's gun coming handy against all those numerous muggings, rapes, home invasions, dog name it.

Maybe -- just maybe -- we should see this whole gun charade as another mental defense mechanism -- along with alcohol, tobacco, drugs and overeating...that kind of stuff, since possession of a gun is giving us that extra sense of security, or readiness to face this unsafe world.

Indeed, stressors of life can be overwhelming, especially in big cities. Some experiments have been done with rats who were placed in an overcrowded environment. They displayed massive symptoms of a paranoia, even arrogance. So, every little emotional crutch helps when we have to face again our boss, the crazy traffic, or mother-in-law.

Then on top of this already over-demanding life that's throwing us daily in the den with lions, we get inspired by the Big Daddy government with its excessive military advancements, now giving us that additional sense of "power".

It must be quite an enervating thing to constantly live in a state of readiness, inspired by imaginary "enemies", whether domestic or foreign.

During my frequent walks in some huge shopping malls, I entertain myself casually observing faces -- O.K., with a good looking young chick I don't stay at the face; you know, at this age of 77 I have to replenish my testosterone, so any inspiration helps.

But then, not every of those faces will raise my testosterone levels. Not because some folks are downright ugly looking, but because many of them have that facial expression of a tight readiness for the worst.

Honestly, they may look like life has been doing nothing to them but continually hitting them from all sides, so that the very presence of crowd makes them feel like a threat.

That would include those macho types with stern faces which you just can't imagine as smiling -- like the whole life is nothing but a battlefield, and they have to win one battle at a time, still sweating from the last one.

I have just described -- albeit in a caricature form -- those folks who need guns. Hey, dudes, we were not born with a tattooed guarantee on our little asses for a lifelong safety.

Just about anything or anybody out there can do it to you -- from a microscopic bug to a sixteen-wheeler humping your little Toyota on the freeway. What kind of life is it anyway being constantly on guard? Ever heard about letting go, dropping your defenses, just enjoying life -- but outside of a scenario of being half wasted by alcohol or drugs, or both?

O.K. before I end this post, maybe something like a disclaimer would be due.

Namely, I have nothing against the American folks, so don't some of you also see me as "another hater of your country" -- as if you haven't got enough of other imaginary ones already. You see, it's my little specialty to write satirical articles and poems about anything in the mankind's cultural paradigm that to me looks a little out of the whack.

So it just happens that I see something of that kind in this massive civilian armament.

I wish I knew what all those gun owners see in their guns that 193 countries around the world don't, many of them being much, much more likely to ever be attacked than one nucleary-loaded America.

Well, who says that I have to understand everything, and so it is with this seemingly unique danger hovering over America, while on the other hand it's supposed to be "the best place on earth to live at".

To you it may all look perfectly O.K. -- and it's for this reason that I am often ending such articles with that good, old maxim: "To each their own".

© 2022 Val Karas

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