I Fell Victim to the White Van Speaker Scam
Justin W. Price, AKA PDXKaraokeGuy, is a freelance writer, blogger, and award-nominated author based out of Juneau, Alaska.
Cast:
Me, played by Me
Long Haired Guy, played by Stephen Dorff
Short guy, played by Shaquille O Neal
Bank teller, played by Jessica Alba
Yes, it’s true, I , PDXKaraokeGuy, Mr. Frugal himself, world renowned writer (well, maybe later), fell victim to the white van speaker scam.
For those unfamiliar with the scam, here’s a rundown of how it happened.
Act 1, Scene One (note, there is only one act)
It's the early 2000s and it's a bright sunny day in Portland, Oregon. The camera opens on a white van lurking in a busy parking lot in a strip mall, near a bank. The drivers of the van see their target and approach him target, the target is a young man in his early twenties. His naiveté is somewhat endearing because he is strikingly handsome and charming.
Stephen Dorff: (from the passenger seat, whispers loudly) Hey.
Me: (looks around, quizzically. Sees a white cargo van directly in front of him.) Who me?
SD: Yes. Hey. I’m in trouble. Do you think you can help me out?
M: I dunno.
SD: I’m in deep shit, man. I work for an electronics company and I have to make this delivery. The problem is, my boss gave me two more speakers then were actually ordered by the client and if I come back to my shop with the extra speakers, he’ll fire me. He’s a real hard ass.
M: Huh? What can I do?
SD: Tell you what, man. I’ll sell them to you. Real cheap. They’re good speakers, man. They retail at like two grand. Each.
M: (looks and sees the driver of the van staring straight ahead. He seems very serious) I don’t think so. That doesn’t interest me. What brand are they?
SD: Stony.
M: Sony?
SD: NO, Stony, they’re real legit… look. (Dorff exits the van and the van parks. In his hands, Dorff is carrying a binder. He opens to a section that says Stony and points. ) See! Right there! Two grand. Retail.
M: (tries to grab the binder, but it’s snapped back.)
SD: Just look. I can’t let you touch it.
M: (looks.) They do look legit. I’ve never heard of them.
SD: Ya man, their new. Anyway, I’ll part with them, real cheap. How’s $1000 sound?
M: I don’t have that kind of money.
SD: Do you have a credit card?
M: Yes.
SD: Just go into that bank right there and get a cash advance.
M: (looks towards the bank.) Hmm. I think I can only do $400.
SD: $400? These are $2000 speakers.
M: Well, have a nice day, then. I hope you don’t get fired.
SD: Hold on. (Dorff walks back to the van and appears to be discussing something with SO. We cannot hear what they are discussing. After a short time, he comes back and shrugs.) Alright. Four hundred is fine. Let’s go.
M: Go where?
SD: To the bank.
M: I can meet you back here.
SD: No man, I’ve been in that van all day. Besides, you seem like a cool dude. We could hang out for a minute.
M: (shrugs) alright.
The pair walk to the bank and a discussion occurs. Typically small talk like what do you do for work? What music do you like? Are you sure you can’t do more, like $800? M stands firm. They reach the bank teller. She is full lipped and dark skinned. Both SD and M are enamored with her instantly.
Bank Teller/Jessica Alba: Hello. How can I help you?
M: Hi. I’d like to take out a cash advance on my Discover Card .
BT/JA: (eyes the pair suspiciously) Okay. How much?
M: My limit is $400.
SD: can you check if it’s higher than that?
M: My limit is $400.
BT/JA: Raises her eye brows but completes the task.
M: Thanks.
The pair walk back through the parking lot.
SD: Where you parked. I’ll load them for you. Can I get that money?
M: I’m parked over here. You don’t get the money until I check out the speakers.
SD: I’ll follow you in the van to your car.
M: Okay.
They approach M’s car and the speakers are quickly loaded in by SD. He then snatches the money out of M’s hand.
SD: Thanks man! (They shake hands and SD drives off.)
M gets into his car and quickly makes some phone calls. He plans to turn around and sell them for $600, but a sale never materializes. He won’t find out until the final act that the speakers are actually make from cheap wood and paper and are worth around $200. He has been scammed.
To learn more about the white van speaker scam, click this link and watch the videos.
The moral of the story is: if something seems too good to be true and somewhat odd, it probably is. Never hand your money over to a stranger, especially a stranger offering to unload for cheap something every valuable. It’s either not as valuable as they claim it is, or it’s stolen. Let Justin’s $400 lesson be enough to keep you from making the same mistake.
Don't forget about Gramma Ursula!