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Random Valduggery

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Nightcat is a freelance writer who enjoys crafting short stories for her readers in the fantasy, mystery and horror genres.

Skulduggery Pleasant

Dashing, brave, and, oh yes, a skeleton.

Dashing, brave, and, oh yes, a skeleton.


OK so if you landed here, I'm assuming you know what Valduggery is. I no longer post fan fiction to DA or FF so, if you want your Valduggery fix, you'll have to get it here. That, and I'm addicted to cranking out new lenses.

For those who don't know what Valduggery is, go read all the Skulduggery Pleasant novels. Did that? OK then. What couple, platonic or otherwise would be the most fun to write about? Right! Valkyrie plus Skulduggery gives you Valduggery. There is also the term Skulkyrie, but you don't see it too often.

But here I'll post my own Valduggery, some links to other stories, and some lovely videos and art. Some may be fluff, you never know. All Valduggery used here is credited and linked back to the source, if you want anything removed, please let me know. Intro image my own scan of SP: The Faceless Ones.



Photo scan of my copy of EOTW

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery. If I did I'd need a shotgun to keep the legions of screaming Valduggery fans away from him. I don't own Valkyrie because nobody owns her. Ghastly is his own man.


Valkyrie sat on the couch at Skulduggery's house. Her friend and partner sat beside her, ramrod straight. She had been keeping secrets from him again, and he wasn't happy.

"I can't believe you won't tell me what you've been laughing about, Valkyrie. Visions aren't funny." She could hear the stern disapproval in his voice, and only laughed harder.

"But, but, this one is!" She wheezed. "It's the same one I had when I met you, I just, I just didn't black out this time!" Then she was lost to gales of laughter. She caught Skulduggery's serious glare, and struggled mightily to compose herself.

"Well, what is it then? What exactly is so amusing to you, Valkyrie?" He was still angry, she could tell that from his voice and the way he was staring hard at her. She sighed, composed herself.

"I had the same vision just now, I had then. I, well, I get married in the vision." She couldn't help the giggles that followed, or her shoulders shaking. She truly couldn't.

"Married? You're only twenty two! You're far too young to even think of such a thing. I absolutely forbid you to do anything of the sort." He was glaring at her now, she could tell.

"I don't want to get married Skulduggery. I mean, maybe I do, but, it's confusing, OK? I just, well, it's just funny that's all." She started to laugh again, but softer this time, more in control.

"And why, pray tell, is marriage funny? It isn't a joke or a game, Valkyrie. Marriage is a very serious proposition. Don't smile, I'm not joking. You're very foolish indeed if you find any of this funny." He folded his arms and looked away, clearly to him the conversation was over.

Valkyrie got to her feet, taking his silent invitation to leave. But before she went, she figured she did owe her partner and best friend an answer. "It isn't marriage that's funny, Skulduggery, it's who I marry in the vision. I find it funny, because, well, he'd never marry me."

"And you know this because you're psychic now, is that it?" He answered, tartly.

"No, I know because I told him I loved him and he walked away from me. Well, goodnight Skulduggery. I'll, I'll be at Gordon's mansion if you need me for a case or anything." Mentally she kicked herself. Why has she said something so lame? But the Skeleton Detective sat in stony silence as she left, refusing to even watch her leave.

Scroll to Continue


Next morning all seemed to be forgiven as her mobile rang. It was Skulduggery. Had he found a case for them already? Valkyrie groaned and tried not to wince from the early morning sun in her eyes.

"Yes, Skulduggery?"

"Good morning to you too, Valkyrie. I want you up and dressed in thirty minutes; we have a case." Valkyrie sighed and flipped off her phone after hearing the line go dead. He was still angry, she could tell.

But he'd never understand her finding the vision funny. Never know that she was really laughing at herself. At least, she thought, as she scrubbed her skin vigorously in the shower, he hadn't asked who it was.


He picked her up, the drive to the new Sanctuary was going to be a long one. So Valkyrie tried to think of something to distract him with, because she could feel the anger coiled inside him. Unfortunately, Skulduggery spoke first.

"Who is he then? Have I met him?" His voice was terse, his hands slowly squeezing the life out of the Bentley's steering wheel.

"Uh, yes, yes you have met him Skulduggery, and that's all I'm telling you." Valkyrie nervously picked non-existent fuzz from the jacket Ghastly had made her.

"Oh, and why is that? Do you think I'd disapprove of your knight in shining armour? I'd just like to punch him in the face, that's all." He growled.

Valkyrie couldn't answer, she was just too shocked. Skulduggery glanced over at her, seemed to take her silence for protection of her intended and continued.

"It's Fletcher, isn't it?"

"Fletcher? God, no!" she shivered a bit in disgust. "I do have good taste in men you know."

"Oh really? So vampires are men now, are they?"

"We don't talk about vampires! And I keep telling you I didn't love him. He kissed me, Skulduggery! Besides I know you, this is a trick to get me to blurt out the name. Nice try, but it won't work."

"So it is someone I know, but it isn't Fletcher? Erksine then? He's good looking enough, but far too old for you, you know that, right?"

"No, it isn't him. And don't tell me how old is too old, Skulduggery. Besides he isn't THAT good looking." Skulduggery snorted in response.

"I've seen the way you looked at him when you first met at the ball, and every time since then."

"I've seen the way you look at China! And don't you dare say you don't. I happen to like him as a friend and I'm happy to see him because I don't have too many of those. At least I didn't go dancing with him." Skulduggery broke so suddenly Valkyrie was thankful for the seatbelt rule. He looked at her, the anger almost visible now.

"I. Do. Not. Love. China. I never have, and I never will. Don't you dare suggest anything so hideous ever again. Unless that was a feint, if so then well done." There was suddenly light laughter in his voice. Valkyrie wondered, not for the first time, if her partner was still insane after his encounter with the Faceless Ones.

She chose to grin at him. "Well it worked, didn't it? Now drive Skulduggery or we'll never get there."


It turned out that after the long drive the case had gone to two newer detectives, and Ghastly just hadn't had the time to phone them. He made his apologies, then ducked his head back to his paperwork, clearly dismissing them. Skulduggery of course, had other plans.

"Do you know, Elder Bespoke, that Valkyrie is having visions?" Ghastly looked up, startled.

"Visions?" He asked warily, staring at Valkyrie.

"Yes," Skulduggery went on "Visions of her impending marriage." Ghastly burst out laughing the same time Valkyrie did, pounding his desk so hard it shook. He tried to speak, but his mirth held him helpless.

"Ghastly!" Skulduggery said, clearly appalled. "I don't know how either of you find this amusing. She won't even tell me who it is." At those words Ghastly let out a hoot of laughter and fell out of his chair.

Sniggering, he pulled himself up on the desk. He tried several times to speak, finally managing to gasp to Valkyrie: "He doesn't know, does he?" She shook her head in response, tears of laughter running down her own face.

Skulduggery snarled that he'd be in the car when she was ready, spun on his heel and left. Ghastly winked at Valkyrie as she struggled to follow, weaving as the laughter seized her yet again.


The entire drive home he was silent, stopping once so Valkyrie could get something to eat. Valkyrie's laughter had mostly subsided by the time they reached his house, though when Skulduggery asked if it was Ghastly, she had to cover her mouth.

"No, not Ghastly, and no I'm not telling you."

"At least tell me about him then. Is he good enough for you, Valkyrie?" Something in his voice sounded sad, and all the humor left her.

"Yes, yes he is, Skulduggery. He's the finest man in the world and I love him dearly. But well, he isn't in love with me. I'm laughing at myself really."

Skulduggery looked stricken. "You should never laugh at yourself, Valkyrie. If he walked away from you he's clearly insane. He doesn't deserve you." His head dipped lower over the steering wheel.

Valkyrie smiled at her partner. How many times had she wanted to hug him in the last few days? To tell him all about the visions? She realized with a start they were at his house, clearly he didn't trust her on her own right now.

"Skulduggery, I..." She simply had no words. She couldn't tell him the truth. But she could try for an excuse he'd believe. "I don't want you to disapprove. I asked you once if you were proud of me, and you never answered. I know that means no. So I don't want you to think even less of me now." Suddenly she found it rather hard to see, and blinked rapidly.

Skulduggery looked at her in surprise. His gloved hand gently cupped her jaw. "I have always been proud of you, Valkyrie, always! I have never, ever not been proud of you. You simply didn't need praise that might encourage you to further endanger yourself. You died, Valkyrie, I lost you! I was damned lucky to get you back. What would I--" He cut off abruptly, gestured at the house and got out.

"You thought you'd loose me, Skulduggery?" He couldn't answer, he just hung his head and his shoulders sagged. Valkyrie couldn't help it, she had to hug him now. Well, had to hold him, but if she was careful he wouldn't know the difference.

Skulduggery sighed, held her gently to him. He seemed to collect himself, and stood straighter, pushing her away after a moment. "I still don't think it is funny, but I suppose it is better to laugh than to cry. As long as you're happy, Valkyrie, that's all that matters. I'd still like to punch him in the face though."

Valkyrie smiled, happy to have her partner back. So long as he never dug any deeper, he would always remain by her side. As they walked towards him home she engaged him in conversation about the new detectives and how they would handle their first assignment.

Little did she know that inside his pocket Skulduggery was toying with a velvet box, the velvet long since rubbed off from his nervous fingers worrying the surface for the last several years.

Skulduggery and Valkyrie-- Love Story

This is the first Valduggery video I ever saw on You Tube and I was smitten. I know after all what Romeo and Juliet is, so even without having read a single book or fanfic I was captivated. Who was Skulduggery? Who was Valkyrie? Did her dad really want her away from Skulduggery, if so, why?

If you've read the novels it still makes sense, because you know Ghastly would knock Skulduggery across the room for looking at Valkyrie funny. Even though it is OK for him to love Tanith. I'm just saying...


Bespoke, Tailor

Photo my Mortal Coil Scan

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Valkyrie, Ghastly, or Tanith. Here Val is about 20. Ghastly has quit his elder job and is back to tailoring. Tanith is back and Remnant free, yay!


Skulduggery sat across from Ghastly's worktable looking at his old friend. He'd dropped by for no particular reason, which meant, Ghastly knew, that he had a reason. Skulduggery was never, he reflected, what anyone would call sociable.

"Well, what is it?" Ghastly asked, as he pulled out material for a new coat for Valkyrie. He was still annoyed at Skulduggery for letting her wear her old one into battle against a dragon. What was the man thinking? All his beautiful tailoring, wasted. Trust Skulduggery Pleasant to find a dragon, then manage to enrage it.

But Valkyrie had come back laughing over Skulduggery's solution to the magical beast. She wasn't upset at all that he'd whipped off her jacket and got it incinerated. Ghastly Bespoke was. He sat at his workbench with a sigh, smoothing the material flat. Skulduggery had been nothing but a bad influence on her since the day they had met.

The day Skulduggery saved her life. He corrected himself. Ghastly knew Skulduggery cared about Valkyrie, that his friend would never willingly put her into needless danger. He knew too that Valkyrie would never leave Skulduggery's side willingly. At times like this he regretted giving up his Elder status to return to tailoring. He supposed peacetime was making him soft.

Skulduggery still hadn't answered. Ghastly stared at him, trying to read his reasoning in the hollow eye sockets. Skulduggery looked away first and Ghastly frowned. "Why do I feel I'm not going to like this?" He asked. Skulduggery wouldn't answer him. Now this was new. Normally the man never stopped talking.

Ghastly tried a softer approach. "It's about Valkyrie, isn't it?" Skulduggery nodded in response, still not meeting his eyes. This could mean only one thing. Ghastly put his face in his hands and sighed.

"How long have you known?" He asked. Skulduggery looked at him, shrugged slightly. "And you're here to get my permission to court her? Isn't this something you should ask her father?" Skulduggery's shoulders slumped. Ghastly shook his head. For a warrior Skulduggery could be a real coward when it came to showing his feelings.

He didn't even plan on telling Valkyrie, Ghastly knew. He was here asking Ghastly to approve but he wouldn't dare say a thing to Valkyrie. "You do know if I approve you have to say something to her. It isn't fair to make her wait this long."

Skulduggery's head whipped up in surprise. "What?" His normally deep voice coming out a rather high-pitched squeak. He coughed, recovered his dignity. "What do you mean, she's waiting for me to say something? What did she tell you?"

Ghastly smiled. "She didn't tell me anything, she told Tanith, who of course told me so I wouldn't kill you the day you got up the nerve to walk in here." Ghastly sensed Skulduggery's smile. He shook his head.

He would never in a million years have though of his two friends as a couple, but it did make sense. He could only hope Skulduggery would say something to Valkyrie soon. The door opened and Valkyrie strode into the shop with Tanith.

Skulduggery rose, went to greet his partner and Tanith came up to Ghastly. "They make a cute couple, don't they?" Ghastly said to Tanith. Skulduggery jumped, looked at Valkyrie. Ghastly could swear he was blushing.

Valkyrie engulfed Skulduggery in a massive hug, and luckily for him, he didn't have to say a word.

Misfortune by TheVooDooFish


This awesome art is by TheVooDooFish I just laugh every time I see it. Bad, Skulduggery, bad! The thing is, you know he'd HAPPILY do this too.

Valduggery - Until The End

The artwork used here is fantastic, most coming from Deviant Art. I'm assuming if the videos are still up the artists are OK with that. If you've read the novels you do have to wonder who started the idea of Valduggery. Landy? The fans? He's hugged her what, about five times in seven novels and x-amount of short stories.

Yeah, you can read Valduggery into the story, but you can read a whole lot of other things into it too. But I'm a shipper so I can't complain. Much. BTW, do you know he wrote a tad of Valduggery into book seven? What a song to sing to your partner.


Coming Home

Photo a scan of my copy of SP: DB

A/N: I don't own Valkyrie, Skulduggery, Tanith or Ghastly. The character description of Tanas Leap is based on an old OC I made years ago and never used. Enjoy! PS Yes, there's an extra vowel in his name, think about it...


I was so excited to be coming home at last. Four years of University behind me and I was going home to Ireland. I'd heard from my friends from time to time, but the one I missed most of all, Skulduggery Pleasant, had been silent for months now. I'd ask Ghastly or Tanith and be told he was working on a case, but this wasn't like him, I knew.

I caught a taxi home to Gordon's mansion and barely made it up to his old bedroom before sleep claimed me. The next morning I awoke to the insistent buzzing of my mobile. I flipped it open. Tanith.

"Hey college girl, good to be back in Ireland?"

"Hey, sis, and yes! I never want to leave again. Whoever thought of studying abroad should be horsewhipped."

Tanith laughed, God I'd missed that laugh, sure, I heard it just fine in America, but it wasn't the same as being home. "Well, hey. Ghastly and I want to take you to lunch. Can you be ready in twenty?"

"Yes! Civilian clothes or work clothes?"

"Mm, whatever you like best. But if you gained the freshman fifteen-" She teased.

I laughed and we rang off. The old clothes Ghastly had made me still looked as new as the day he'd tailored them and the fit was perfect. I was glad for that. I'd done my best to keep in shape, and there were places in America, even near the University to train, but nothing like Ireland.

I met them outside, Ghastly's old van rumbling up gently as I walked to the kerb. Tanith got out and enveloped me in a hug, Ghastly nodded as I got in.

"Valkyrie." He said.

"Elder Bespoke."

"Don't call me that, it's creepy. You're getting as bad as Skulduggery, who, before you ask, is out of Ireland on a case."


"But you still have us." Tanith put in cheerfully from the front seat.

We drove for a while, stopping at a small restaurant I didn't remember. Tanith confirmed it was new, well, two years old, which to us was new. What are two years when you have centuries to live?

Tanith stopped me in the dimly lit entryway. "Uh, look. We're also meeting a friend. He's been through a lot, and he won't say much, since he can't speak. This sounds odd, but do your best to pretend he's not there. New people are too much if they speak to him. But we thought getting him out might do him so good. He's been in seclusion for months now, not speaking to anyone."

"OK, does this friend have a name?"

"Tanas Leap."

We continued to the booth, in a darkened corner, I noted. Tanas, I assumed it was him, was seated in the deepest shadows. I could make out his black shirt and tie and grey suit trousers as we sat. But his face was hidden, giving only the impression of tightly curled hair that fell long and free to his shoulders.

Tanith got in first, and I studiously ignored Tanas, even though I could feel his eyes on me. He sat forward briefly to adjust his position and I caught black hair, a strong jawline and a sharp, long face. I think his eyes were brown but it was hard to tell when flicking my glance up from the menu at his movement.

Tanith and I ordered steaks, Ghastly and Tanas ordered the same. There was something about his name Tanas Leap. Sounded vaguely like it should be Irish, but there was something about it. Like it had one too many vowels in it. Now that was an odd thought. Tanith interrupted my musings.

"Thinking about something?"

"Not really." I lied.

Ghastly gave a polite snort of amusement. "Probably Skulduggery."

"Was not." I said, truthfully.

He waved his hand. "Actually Skulduggery wanted us to do some detective work for him while he's away from Ireland, and he hopes you are well. There were three things he wanted to know, and they are important to your partnership, all right?

I nodded and he continued. "Question one would be if you want to be partners with Skulduggery. Keep in mind at twenty four you could choose to work alone, or choose not to come back to the Sanctuary."

"Of course I want to come back. I want to be his partner. I don't recall it being my idea to go to University you know. Now I have a useless piece of paper I intend to burn or make a paper airplane out of, maybe both."

Ghastly sighed. "But four years abroad helped make you the person you are now."

"Yes, a person who wasted four years of her life I'll never get back when Uncle Gordon could have taught me to write faster and easier. But I'll forgive all of you for shipping me off, some day."

The steaks arrived and we ate. Even though I wasn't supposed to be looking at Tanas, the detective in me wanted to know more. I saw how precisely he moved as he did anything and felt a stab of longing to see Skulduggery again. His hands I noted, had the same graceful movements. But I flicked my eyes back to my steak a moment before I felt his eyes on me.

Ghastly looked over at me once or twice, but nobody spoke until the plates were cleared. I looked at Tanith because it had to be a world record for her. She talked almost as much as Skulduggery, but without his sudden lapses into silence.

I felt the mood at the table was tense, as Ghastly spoke again. "All right then, second question: if you do come back as a partner is there anyone Skulduggery should be aware about? He'd be taking you on cases for weeks at a time like before, and boyfriends tend to get prickly over that sort of thing. Skulduggery would rather you consider that now instead of later."

I shook my head. "I didn't even date or see anyone over there, ever. I had a writing scholarship, remember? That involves endless hours of fun, fun, fun research and living in libraries. The last thing I needed or wanted was a boyfriend. Besides I wanted to get back to-"

Ghastly smiled. "You wanted to get back to Skulduggery." He waved my protest away. "Fair enough, and he wanted you back. For four long years I've endured a basket case of a detective. He misses you, Valkyrie, more than you know. He'd taken to looking for you out of the Sanctuary windows before I made him stop."

Tanas shifted again. I did my best to ignore him. "I used to threaten he'd see me walk into the Sanctuary one day, years early. He'd fuss and tell me no, but all I wanted to do was come home to him. Fine, I said it, I missed him every day, twice on Sundays."

I heard a faint sound of amusement from Tanas and chose to ignore that too. The mood at the table seemed lighter, but I got the idea the third question was the most important. Though knowing Skulduggery it could be rude and insulting just as easily.

"Right then, final question. If something had happened to Skulduggery, if he looked different, would you still feel the same about him and want to be his partner?"

"Of course I would. No offense to Skulduggery but that's the most thickheaded question I've ever heard. He's my partner and best friend. I don't care how much the outside changes, he's still Skulduggery all the same."

Ghastly nodded then got up and I let Tanith out. "Fair enough. Get dessert if you like, it will be on the Sanctuary. Tanas will see you home. Oh you can talk to him now, by the bye." With that he left, Tanith looking back to wink at me.

I didn't even glance over when I spoke. "I hate them both so very much right now. I can get a cab, it's no problem."

Tanas shifted in his seat, slid over into the light where Tanith had been sitting. His brown eyes held mine, his thin mouth tilting up into a Chesire grin. He sipped his coffee, then looked back at me. He just wouldn't stop staring and it was getting creepy.

"No offense, Tanis, and I'm sure you're a wonderful guy, but I don't like being stared at. I'm aware you've been through a lot, but if you don't find somewhere else to look I'm going to be forced to hurt you."

He grinned, revealing slightly crooked teeth. Teeth that looked so familiar. Then he spoke, and everything clicked into place. "My, my, Valkyrie. Four years have done nothing to curb your violent tendencies." The easy amusement in that velvety voice, the way his head tilted now to study me.

"Skulduggery?" I breathed.

"The same, well not quite, but yes it's me. I look different, don't I?"

"That's an understatement."

He finished his coffee. "Shall we walk to the Bentley? I'll drive you home if you like."

I nodded, dumbfounded. He rose, collecting a neatly folded suit jacket I had missed, and a grey fedora. He shrugged into the jacket elegantly, then tilted the hat at a rakish angle on his head. He adjusted his tie, the whole time staring down at me in amusement.

"Ready?" He didn't bother to hide the teasing note in his voice.

I nodded again, not trusting my voice. I was fairly sure I would have squeaked.

We walked out to the Bentley. Skulduggery leaned against it and looked at me before speaking. "Disappointed?"

"What? No, never, Skulduggery. You just look so different."

"Better or worse?"

"Not better or worse, just different. Is this some sort of illusion?"

He caught hold of my hand gently in his long fingers and placed it lightly over his ribcage in a silent answer. I could feel from the beating of his heart he was excited, waiting for a final answer. a confirmation we were partners.


"Wow, indeed."

"Well, what say you, are we partners still, Valkyrie Cain?" He titled his head again, then held out his arms in invitation. I think if he hadn't had the Bentley behind him I would have knocked us both the the ground.

"Of course we are, Skulduggery Pleasant. We always will be."


Note to the Reader: I intensely dislike Skulduggery-turns-human as a plot device because I think it cheapens the relationship, is cheating as a writer, and discredits him as as skeleton. But if Val loves him she will stand by him no matter what.



Photo my own scan of Dark Days

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery or Valkyrie. Nor do I own Valduggery- Grenade. The Baron however is quite happy to be owned by me.


I was at an absolute standstill on my latest Valduggery fanfic. Not that the ideas wouldn't flow, far from it. But there were distractions. Rather vocal, nasal, annoying, but handsome, loyal, and highly intelligent distractions. I sighed and looked over at Baron Samedi.

He was seated in his favorite chair, legs stretched out in front of him. Only came for a visit, he said. (Never mind he lives here.) But he clearly liked the idea he just happened to visit on a Saturday. This meant he could ask for anything he wanted, within reason. (As if he wasn't fed daily.) Valduggery- Grenade was looping on the net, and I was trying to type, but of course he wanted to see the video instead.

"You see?" He said, jabbing a bony finger at the video. "That's quality entertainment. We should watch more of this. He's handsome, you know. But of course he is, because it is obvious he's me." He nodded to himself, chirruping happily as the art appeared on the screen.

"Don't you think, you know, if he was you, he'd wear a top hat?" I asked, not expecting a response as he repeatedly batted at the replay button.

The Baron looked at me, snorting in response. "He's a modern lwa."

"Skulduggery was alive, Baron. He had a wife and child he--" He held up a skeletal hand for silence, then pointed out the lyrics about ripping out his brakes.

"You see, woman? They wrote this song for you. You neglect me all the time, look at me. I'm starving!" He grumbled.

"Baron! I... I... You have candles, coffee and a food offering on your altar right now. And I do not neglect you. You own all the novels for criminey's sake."

"Only because they belong to me. It is clear this is me, woman. You're the one writing all the Valduggery, not me. You're hopelessly in love with me."

True, but I sighed in exasperation. "Because you like it! I swear, Baron, if we weren't married... Oh my merciful God in heaven." I covered my face. He'd changed from his usual tuxedo and top hat the the all too familiar suit and fedora. I felt the heat rushing to my cheeks. How could he make me blush so easily after all these years?

Just because he was right, just because every Valduggery story I ever wrote was about him. He knew it too, and preened with pleasure. Being the Baron he then managed to be behind me in my own chair, purring happily as he buried his face in my neck. I squealed in surprise, didn't even bother to fight the skeletal arms that looped around me from behind.

He'd pressed his face into my shoulder blade, murmuring something I couldn't quite hear, but sounded disturbingly like 'I love you Valkyrie Cain.' The writing session was clearly over. He was laughing, his skeletal hands gripping my own ribs lightly, clearly pleased with his ability to be the center of my universe.

"Are you going to be my little Valkyrie? Hmmm?"

"Baron! That's just wrong on so many levels."

"But you know," He said, his voice deepening and starting to sound vaguely Irish "I will always be your Skulduggery."

So we watched the video endlessly for the next hour or so. My best friend, lover, husband and lifelong companion holding me in his arms.


Say It Isn't So

Photo manipulated scan of my copy of EOTW

A/N: I don't own Valkyrie or Skulduggery. I do however own a copy of the art described herein. Val is about 24 here, simply because I've never done a story with her being 24. Black Roses Red is an excellent song used in a Valduggery video, and Say It Isn't So is a song by Hall and Oates you need to hear.


Valkyrie sighed, replacing the black fabric over the wall sculpture. Covered like that, you'd never suspect what it was. And hidden in the shadows behind her desk nobody noticed it. Not, she thought glumly, that she got any visitors.

She and Skulduggery were still partners, but they worked together less and less. So now, to fill the lonely hours, she'd started writing drabbles online. She liked them and was quite good at it. It helped her not think about the new partner Skulduggery must have. Or him surely needing to see China.

Even after all China had done to him, he'd still used her as a source and Valkyrie was no child anymore. She recognized the looks he gave her. Stop it. She scolded herself. No good ever came from thinking like that.

She also knew if Skulduggery ever saw the 'art' behind her, he'd put two and two together as well. But she never had told him. Clearly China was closer to him in age, even if she did help murder his family. Plus China had implied at their first meeting she had a past with Skulduggery.

Did he cheat on his wife? Valkyrie shook her head. The story was going nowhere tonight, she shut off the computer and leaned back to rub her eyes. She heard a rustle of fabric behind her, and whirled around, leaping out of the chair to land deftly in a fighting position.

But it had only been the covering on the art falling down. The skeleton swain grinned down at her, mocking her. His lover wrapped around him from behind. It was supposed to be memorial art. Memorial art her right eye. It was Death and the Maiden, redone.

She just couldn't face it anymore, seeing what she couldn't ever have. She'd bought the stupid thing years ago when she first realized how she felt, had kept it hidden away all these years. Now she had to hide it in darkness. It was better off gone, blotted from existence.

She flicked her You Tube account back on, went to a song, Black Roses Red. As it played she simply stared at the art. There was a soft sigh, and it blew apart into dust. The dust swirling on the air she manipulated and into the fireplace.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. She though, bitterly. Now he would never know, and it would be OK that he didn't call her anymore, or so much as visit. She dug in her desk, found the one photo she had of them together.

She clicked her fingers, drew flame. She tossed the photo on the neatly stacked wood of the fireplace and watched it burn. The song had ended and she saw a suggested video on the screen.

Say It Isn't So.


Skulduggery's POV, I think. Can any of you imagine him being good for any amount of time after he lost Valkyrie? You know he'd hunt down whoever did it and kill them. Well maybe tie them to a chair and get his revenge for a month, and then kill them.

How many times has he nearly killed people in front of her just for saying something he doesn't like about her? I find it sweet, though I'm sure it frightens the bejeepers out of some readers.

Skulduggery Pleasant- Evil Angel

The song fits Skulduggery perfectly, but since you know he'd hate it you can feel all anghsty now. How would Val please him? Sinatra makes her cringe, so does everything else he listens to, and he'd crash the Bentley if she played this for him.


Evil Angel

Photo my manipulated scan of Faceless Ones

A/N: I don't own Valkyrie or Skulduggery. The song is Evil Angel used in a Valduggery fan video. Val is about 22 or 24. Skulduggery has been downcast for a week and she's trying to cheer him up. Scene takes place in Gordon's mansion. And no, I don't know why a full grown man spends so much time hanging out with her in her bedroom.


Skulduggery Pleasant grabbed the sides of his skull and staggered in pain. He hissed, head whipping towards Valkyrie. She seemed amused at his reaction, but thumbed the remote and the stereo turned off. She leaned back in the bed, arms folded behind her head, enjoying his response.

"Blessed silence!" He breathed, still not fully upright. "You do know I have delicate ears and as a detective need to keep them in working order? Why on Earth would you subject me to that noise?" He frowned at her, then went to sit by the wall, head cocked expectantly.

"One it isn't noise, it's music. Two, I thought you'd appreciate the lyrics."

"What lyrics? All I heard was something that sounded like a tank battalion firing on me. I'll be having vivid flashbacks from the war for a week, at least. You do like me right? This isn't a subtle hint the partnership is over?" He was still massaging his skull, and his grumbling made Valkyrie smile.

She loved the sound of his deep velvety voice, even when he was complaining. Lately he'd been grumbling about everything. "I thought some good music might take your mind off your problems." She said, smiling at him.

"I happen to like my problems just fine. And that isn't music, it's something that should be banned under the Geneva Convention." Valkyrie laughed, and he looked up at her, smiling. She wondered idly how she could always tell when he was smiling. She supposed it was one of his talents.

But somehow she could read all the emotions on his skeletal features, always could. She was pondering this, when he spoke.

"Penny for your thoughts."

"Skulduggery, well, this is an odd question, but, how many people can read your face? Is it just me or is it something everyone does? You asked me once how I could tell how you felt and I thought you were joking, but I've always wondered."

She looked over at him, he had tilted his hat down low over his face. He sat silently for a while, then his head cocked. "I didn't know you cared when I asked, but as far as I know, just you. Other people try to and come close, but you seem to read me better than anyone else. I don't have a face you know, being a skeleton."

Valkyrie slid off he bed and went over to sit beside him. "Of course you do, everyone does, or I couldn't read it, could I? Lately, well you've looked like you're in pain, and I've been worried about you. We don't have to talk about it though if you don't want to."

He shook his head. "And here I thought nobody could discover my secrets. You, Valkyrie Cain, are an incredibly annoying young woman."

Valkyrie smiled. "I'll take that as a compliment."

He snorted. "It wasn't meant as one."

"I know, but your rarely give compliments, so I'm taking it." She was smiling, her voice playful. But she could feel he did want to talk, so she sobered quickly.

"Well? Do you want to talk about it?" She asked, head cocked in an unconscious imitation of him. He nodded, looking at her, seeming to notice the mannerism for the first time.

"When you told me you just could in response I thought you were making excuses. Still, I've always been careful around you, as I am around other people. Most of the time I don't show my emotions. I don't see any need to. But yes, I have been sad. And that music only made me sadder."

She laughed, and could sense his smile. He continued, seemingly reluctant to speak. "I've well, I've been with you a long time, Valkyrie, since you were twelve. Your an adult woman now, ready to face the world on her own. Simply put, you don't need me anymore, and I'm wondering when you're going to walk out of my life and never come back."

She gasped, stunned. She gripped his shoulder, firmly. His head dipped away from her, so she more or less addressed his hat. "How could you even think of me leaving, Skulduggery Pleasant? You are my best friend, the one man I can count on in this world to listen to and respect me. You're always there for me. I'm sure you have better things to do than be sitting here right now. "

"I've always looked up to you, you've always been my hero." She saw him cringe and her voice softened. " Yes, even after learning about Lord Vile. The past doesn't matter to me, you're my best friend and me--" She paused on the word, felt his smirk. "Mentor." She finished quietly, burying her head in her arms. She heard his soft chuckle, buried her face deeper.

She felt him start to rub her back soothingly. "It's all right, you know. You're supposed to look up to me. I am your mentor. I always will be if you'll have me. But I was hoping you'd think of me as more than that. Just merely a best friend and mentor? Only a hero? I'm shocked, absolutely shocked that I'm not the center of your universe, Valkyrie Cain." She heard the amusement in his voice. Just great.

"I never said you weren't." She mumbled, still not looking up.

"Oh ho. Now that is interesting. So what am I to you then?" Valkyrie groaned in response and heard him chuckle. He lifted her chin, looking amused. "Tell me if I take you out to dinner, Detective Cain?" He was smiling, really smiling for the first time in weeks. So of course she nodded happily, she too smiling at last.

She didn't even notice as she got ready that Skulduggery had drifted over to the stereo and picked up the CD case. Had she, she would have seen one skeletal brow cock in surprise as he read the lyrics to Evil Angel, even though the rest of the world would have seen an impassive skull.

She didn't catch the glance he threw at her either, or the gentle smile that settled on his features. It was going to be an interesting dinner indeed.

Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkerie Cain Hell on the Heart

OK, there is a piece of art asking why Valduggery fans have no morals, and yeah to them, Valduggery is creepy. But they weren't in love from the first second they met, geesh. Even as she gets older there is only a hint here or there, and who knows what they feel? But once she's of age, I say go for it, girl!


The Skeleton Detective

Photo my scan of Mortal Coil

A/N: I don't own Skulduggery, Valkyrie, or Gordon. The scene takes place in Gordon's study. Val is about 22, Skulduggery is seated in a leather chair Gordon had for guests.


Skulduggery sighed. There were so many things he wanted to say to her, to tell her at last. But she seemed oblivious to him attentions. True, he was being subtle, but Valkyrie Cain was no fool. She had to know how he felt about her. True also, that he never put it into words, but surely, he didn't have to. He sighed again, flinching slightly when he heard her enter the room.

Valkyrie tilted her head slightly, smiling as she always did when she say him in a way that melted his heart. But he couldn't speak, perhaps if she thought he was meditating she'd go away and let him collect himself.

"Skulduggery?" She asked. He didn't dare move. Just hold perfectly still, she'd go away. He had been feeling tired lately come to think of it, perhaps if he did meditate now it would be for the best.

"Skulduggery?" Her face was centimeters from his, her hand was on his shoulder. Still, he didn't dare move. He watched her back away, but she still spoke, back turned to him.

"Did I do something wrong? Is that why you're not speaking to me?" It broke his heart, but he met her with silence. She could never do anything wrong in his eyes, except to not return his love. He had to stay still, not let her know he was awake.

She turning, frowned at him slightly. What was she angry about now? But then she fetched a blanket and covered him. He almost jumped at the gesture. Never, in a million years had she done something like this. The warmth of the blanket was soothing. Odd he'd never thought of using one before, but then, he reminded himself, he didn't deserve such comforts. Still, it was nice of her.

She was looking at him now, hands thrust into her pockets. When had she picked up that bad habit from him? Her mobile rang and she answered.

"Hi, Tanith. No, everything's fine. No, he's meditating right now. Yeah. " She tilted her head, frowned thoughtfully.

"Well, I can't tell him that, you know that. Well, because he isn't interested, that's why. Uh-huh, yeah. Talk to you later, sister. Bye." Wasn't interested in what? Skulduggery felt his non-existent heart leap. Surely she wasn't interested in him?

Valkyrie had gotten down a slim book of her uncle's he'd never seen before. She glanced over at him, smiled softly, and began to read. Something in the book made her smile. A few pages later and she was grinning broadly now, her finger tracing something in the book. Echo Gordon chose that time to make an appearance.

"Ah, my masterwork. My magnum opus. Do you like the illustrations? I did them myself."

Valkyrie smiled at him. "I love them. But you took a risk writing this for me, if he ever found it I'd have all sorts of interesting questions to answer."

Gordon smiled. "Tell him my muse had struck and I simply had to write. Besides you deserve to have the man you love in print, if not in reality. I'm afraid you take after me in that regards, but c'est la vie."

She was in love. But with whom? Skulduggery congratulated himself on this bit of detective work, neither one of them suspected a thing. He realized both of them had stopped speaking. He flicked his gaze over.

Gordon was leaning the best he could against a bookcase and Valkyrie was nearing the end of the little volume. How he wanted to know what was in it! He'd simply have to pay attention to where she put it. He smiled smugly to himself.

Gordon, spoke, almost laughing. "So what's your favorite part, anything you'd care to read out loud? Don't be shy, my ego could use the praise."

Valkyrie blushed, flipped back in the book, pointed out a passage. Gordon nodded, pleased with himself. Skulduggery fought the urge to just go grab the book. He lost all self control when he was around her. God only knows which of the simpering boys she had dated was in the book.

Gordon drew himself up to his full height, gestured with one hand out. "Truly my favorite passage as well. There is something so humbling to the male ego when she has to trap him into a confession of his love. I especially like the bit about seeing his expression change. How she can read his moods, even though he is, shall we say, a skeleton."

Skulduggery felt his heart drop, Did they know he was awake? Were the mocking him? His gaze flicked to Valkyrie, but she was looking at Gordon. "Yeah, but she was in love with him too, don't forget, so your device of using a room like this one so SHE could confess to him first, well that was brilliant."

Gordon smiled, happily, agreed, and retreated to the Echo Stone. Valkyrie stood and stretched, replacing the slim volume in a drawer even Skulduggery didn't know about in Gordon's desk. The little sneak.

She gave him one last smile, then left the room. When he heard her go downstairs and heard the TV clicked on he rose from the chair and fetched the book. She could have at least locked the drawer to make it a challenge.

Still, the slim red volume bore the title The Skeleton Detective on the front. That at least was interesting, he skimmed the text, noticing both how first rate the sketches were and how they looked exactly like himself and Valkyrie.

He became absorbed in how each small story was from her point of view. Though clearly the part about falling in love with him she had neglected to mention to him. He read on, finding the scene she spoke of. Set in Gordon's study.

With him asleep in the chair, with the same exact words spoken. With the Skeleton Detective being awake and listening to every word they said. It went on about Gordon retreating and Valkyrie going downstairs to put the TV on. All he had to do to finish the scene was to go tell her how he felt.

Smiling to himself, the Skeleton Detective pocketed the book and headed for the stairs.

Read the Books!

Valduggery Love 4 ever

This is just plain awesome. You don't always get to see too many tribute videos in another language. Romantic to boot! I like the heart effect at one point, lovely. Yes being in German makes it more romantical. Because I said so, that's why.

A Valduggery love story

All the fans know that even if the pair got their own book and were marooned on an island somewhere with no bad guys to fight, and nothing else to do, they would never get around to admitting the truth to themselves. Which is why Goddess and the fans invented Valduggery, methinks.

My Favorite Valduggery by other Authors

Liked the Story?

Privacy on July 10, 2017:

Ok... I've read MUCH better though. Thats the only problem for now,I guess...

Nightcat (author) on August 24, 2015:

If anything comes to me, I shall. Thanks for commenting, Tes-_The_-Beast!

Tes-_The_-Beast on August 24, 2015:

That's awesome make some more plz

Nightcat (author) on May 28, 2014:

@moskafleur: Thank you so much, moskafleur! I'm glad you liked it. :)

moskafleur on May 27, 2014:

Oh my gooooddd it's so cute!!! The end is so fucking cuteeee!!!!! *^*

Nightcat (author) on October 28, 2013:

@anonymous: You got really excited, thanks so much for the enthusiastic reviews! :)

Nightcat (author) on October 28, 2013:

@anonymous: Awww, thanks, NarahSelson! :)

Nightcat (author) on October 28, 2013:

@anonymous: Awww, thanks so very much, NarahSelson! :)

anonymous on October 28, 2013:

I loved it! Absolutely gorgeous! The kind that makes you sigh in contempt. :):):):):)

anonymous on October 28, 2013:

Soooooooooooo good! Whenever I read a good Valduggery, I get all warm and fuzzy inside and guess what? I DEFINITELY got that feeling!! So awesome!!

anonymous on October 28, 2013:

I loved that sooooooooooooooooooo much!! So adorable! It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside when I read a good Valduggery story - I had that feeling! Well done! Love your work!

Nightcat (author) on March 07, 2013:

@anonymous: Awww, thanks Uma! He is well pleased with himself. Perhaps if I didn't treat him like he is the living end... But thanks for the kind words, hugs! :)

anonymous on March 06, 2013:

Yes I enjoyed it very much and I'm going to read the other offerings. Thank you that was fresh.

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