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Woza Moya Ongcwele Chapter One

Rodric Anthony is a writer of fiction and nonfiction. Creating new stories and seeing where they take him is his passion.

Woza Moya Ongcwele or Come Holy Spirit, is an invitation for revelation from God. True events frame and inundate the story about two brothers and their friends spanning chapters. This is the first of the struggles to figure out a path. Hiram's journey starts with a step.

Old Town Road

Freshly churned-earth aroma saturates the air as clouds gather above. Rain's coming. Hiram predicts by the time he reaches the end of the dusty dirt road, his bare feet'll find comfort in the warm wet clay. It’s not the rain so much that he relishes, but the feeling of wet clay between his toes and under his feet as he walks, a step closer to the future, yet in the moment!


His father'll know he skipped Sunday school and went to the pond, or lake sometimes. Only one dirt road exists in town, which winds behind the church building, through the cemetery, and to the lake, or pond sometimes.

"It’s not like I’m leaving the church or anything just because I left after sacrament meeting," he thinks.

The new bishop celebration stifles him; a minute (or 60) break works! It’s a small town. Everybody in the town goes to the same three churches, which happen to all be a part of the same mega-church!

An entire town of Latter-day Saints? Yes, in South Georgia no less, is weird! The South's known for its Bible-thumping and church-stumping! Some Baptists, Pentecostals, and more Baptists are what people think of when describing life in the South. Things change. It's weird growing up in the South not to see people from other religions except at school, but not for Hiram. Life is good in Enigma, Georgia.

“Why do I have to justify not being in church,” wonders Hiram aloud feeling that his life is the one that's about to change radically! He's right. Life's about to change radically.

Changing life does not negate the importance of the opinion of his parents, his father, at the moment. Besides having red gritty clay on his bare feet, his clothing'll be wet from the coming rain. How'd he get wet in a church building?

"No lying," he tells himself. It's against his nature--his new nature!

Hiram knows what will come when he gets back to the building: the talk in his father’s office, the decision to choose the correct spiritual path, figuring out what his punishment should be, and on and on….

His dad's the new bishop of their congregation in town, the Enigma Lake Ward. Almost a year's passed since his older brother Junior, nicknamed, Hib, started his mission—a three-year mission for Jesus Christ through the Church. Hiram misses Hib’s friendship. The emails and letters aren't enough to replace what they had before he left.

"He's doing it for a good reason," Hiram reminds himself.

Raindrops lightly hydrate Hiram’s flesh. Earthy aromas fill his nostrils and send sweet chills running through him, invigorating, refreshing--just what he needs.

Thinking Spot

"Dad will understand. After all, he's the bishop," he tells himself. "He'll have to understand. God does. So, he will learn to if not."

Hiram ponders the news that he received the day before from his stake president, who asked him to submit his mission papers early for his own missionary service through the Church--just like Hib did, or Elder Smarts. His Stake president supports 12 bishops in town, his grandfather on his mom's side. Grandpops. He always has a new revelation for his grandkids. Now he has to make the same choice to become another Elder Smarts.

Chuckling within, wondering if their family is marked to serve missions early, Hiram turns 17 on June 29th. He graduated from high school early. Twelve months' time it took him to change life spiritually and emotionally with only Elder Smarts (Junior or Hib) knowing. Everybody wanted to be a "good" Saint in Enigma, outwardly, anyway. Hiriam always does what he's told. His grandpops being a stake president supporting 12 bishops, his father being one of those new bishops, he had to do the right thing and be a good missionary--not to keep up appearances, but to honor a spiritual legacy. He does so with purpose and devotion, truly believing in Jesus.

The wind blows, intensifying the smell of wet earth air, a welcome respite from the musty air. Hiram ascends to the top of the hill on the dirt road and sees something unexpected.

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Off to the side of the pond, sometimes lake, near a large gray stone, he uses as his thinking spot, a figure topples into the lake, sometimes pond.

Awkward Introduction

Instinctively, Hiram rushes over bursting through branches of the low-lying trees down to the lake, sometimes pond, at the edge near his thinking spot to see if what he thought he saw, happened.

Glancing down at his feet to discover them scratched from his hasty trump through the trees, bushes, scattered branches, and stones on the ground, alarm ripples through him. It happened, what he thought because he notices a person face down floating towards the center of the pond, sometimes lake. Without uttering a sound, he dives in, hoping for the rescue.

Flipping, grabbing, and swimming the person to shore for resuscitation, Hiram jolts. The victim, the person's a kid, a young woman looking about his age. She has on a hooded windbreaker; the sleeves appear torn. Pale and sickly, but undeniably beautiful, this revelation causes him to hesitate a minute before doing resuscitation. Water springs out of the young woman’s mouth, and she coughs uncontrollably shivering. Hiram embraces her to keep her warm, not knowing what else to do for the beauty, the strangely captivating beauty.

Fear and concern punctuate every action as Hiram tends to the young woman heaving and coughing, weakly clutching the body of her rescuer. She relaxes her hold and Hiram gently settles her in his arms. Once the coughing stops, she opens her eyes to see the worried face of a handsome young man.

"My name is Hiram. You okay,” he manages right before she loses consciousness. Color returns to Hiram’s face, who sits puzzling at what to do next with the young woman.

"What a face," Hiram thinks sitting for a few seconds staring unabashedly at her strangely compelling face, not able to help himself.

"Where do I know her from," he thinks, staring a hole into her soul.

Something about her seems familiar. Something about her draws him to her. "Church," he decides.

Church is where he will take her to have an ambulance called. Fearing that Bishop Smarts would try to call him, he left his phone at the ward building. Standing and cradling the young woman, feeling good about how strong he is to carry this dead weight. Hiram approaches the road where he left his shoes. Gently placing the girl on the ground, wincing as he puts his scratched feet in his Dockers, he wonders how he will make it to the church carrying the young woman who's already getting heavy.

"What a face," Hiram thinks sitting for a few seconds staring unabashedly at her strangely compelling face, not able to help himself.

Damsel In Distress

“Come on, wake up,” Hiram urges, jiggling her a bit.

The church building in his view as he approached the cemetery, she opens her eyes, regarding Him as if she's dreaming. “Help me,” she whispers. Lowering her to the ground to rest his arms a bit before carrying her to Church, he acknowledges her plea.

“I'll take you to the church building, and someone will help. It's just over there,” assuringly he points to the church as the rain begins. Blood on his hands. Blood! Not his blood.

"It's her blood," he thinks, panicking, adrenaline pulses. Ignoring the heaviness in his arms and pain in his feet, he scoops her up running full throttle toward the building--his natural athleticism, never a crutch, makes him a super man now.

“He tried to kill me,” she musters as weariness robs her consciousness. Ear-splitting thunderclaps from the darkened sky. Lightning flashes, urging him, warm pressure builds at the base of his skull, anger. Anger at what the young woman claimed bursts through torrential rains and crashes through the church building doors. Whoever this "he" is, Hiram intends to find out.


Bishop! Help!

“Call 911 now!” he yells to the person standing near his father’s office violently swinging the door to the building open as if he carried no person. “I think she is bleeding!” Hiram places her on one of the foyer sofas tending her as his father rushes out of his office.

“Son, what happened?” demands Bishop Smarts seeing his son wet with rain and blood.

“I found her at the pond. She really looks bad,” Hiram explains to his father, a rather thick man with hard features and soft penetrating eyes—markedly shorter than his son. “I saw when I went out to meditate on some things. It's not my blood.”

Hiram looks deeply into his father’s eyes to see if a lecture's there. All he sees is concern and understanding. “Bishop,” he calls his dad to action, “I think maybe she needs a blessing.”

Woza Moya Ongcwele Chapter Two

  • Woza Moya Ongcwele Chapter Two
    His brother gave up his dream, temporarily, to serve the Lord. If Hiram is to follow in Hib's footsteps, why is it so hard to get an answer?


© 2016 Rodric Anthony


Rodric Anthony (author) from Surprise, Arizona on August 08, 2021:

Ravi, thanks for reading! I hope I advertised enough that another chapter exists at the end. I will update that. I am glad you liked the imagery. I am looking for tough criticism.

Ravi Rajan from Mumbai on August 08, 2021:

It is a great start rodric. I loved the picture you managed to paint here and the storyline is intriguing. Looking forward to more of your work.

Rodric Anthony (author) from Surprise, Arizona on August 08, 2021:

Mosiah, I appreciate it. It is the start. I hope you continue and read the other chapters offering some insight.

Rodric Anthony (author) from Surprise, Arizona on August 08, 2021:

Thanks, kids for reading this, Ephraim, I clarified in the story. I changed the words a little so it doesn't sound like Hiram is the one being implicated.

Mosiah on August 08, 2021:

Well that was unexpected, a very good way to start off an fun story!

Ephraim on August 08, 2021:

Its a great story im just a little comfused on how she switched up when he got to the church.

Rodric Anthony (author) from Surprise, Arizona on August 08, 2021:

Thanks, Sariah, for reading it. I know I had to do a lot of begging to get you to take the time, but I appreciate it. Sariah is my daughter, people.

Sariah on August 08, 2021:

I did not think that it would turn out like that. It is better than I thought it would be.

Rodric Anthony (author) from Surprise, Arizona on November 04, 2016:

Thanks Ann. I am going to give more before I leave you uninterested! I am enjoying this creative writing journey.

Ann Carr from SW England on November 04, 2016:

A story which draws us in and leaves us wanting to know more; that's good writing.


Rodric Anthony (author) from Surprise, Arizona on November 03, 2016:

Thanks Billy. I am working on putting substance in my stories also, realism. Thank you for reading and providing feedback. As I have mentioned before, feedback good or bad is gratifying.

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on November 03, 2016:

You set the scene perfectly. I was walking down that old dirt road with Hiram and I could smell the rain coming. Very good writing!

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