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Hurtful Words That Shatter The Human Soul

Audrey's desire to help others to respect and understand themselves led her to the study of psychology at UCLA.

Words are the most powerful tools we have.  Use them wisely.

Words are the most powerful tools we have. Use them wisely.

Words That Penetrate The Human Soul

As we uncover the power of words let's begin by realizing the strong effect and impact words have on us. Every word we choose either lifts us up or drags us down. And then there are those words that penetrate the human soul.

Any remarks directed at us that are in the form of criticism damage us. This may mean that we need to learn a whole new way of speaking. There are ways to correct someone's actions that are kind and helpful without hurling harsh criticism - and all criticism is harsh.

The following list presents some examples of harmful phrases to avoid:

  • What are you doing? Do it this way! - Implies that the person is wrong, stupid, dumb.
  • Why are you doing this? - The person starts questioning and doubting himself leading to low self-esteem.
  • Don't ever do this again! - Instills fear and leads to anger and finally depression.
  • Who did this? Projects blame and fear deep within.
  • You know better! - Really? An action doesn't always have anything to do with knowledge. But the recipient begins to doubt his level of intelligence. Highly destructive.

This list is only a small dent of words and phrases commonly used that shatter one's self-esteem. I speak from experience as well as knowledge

A Silent Epidemic

As a child receiving both physical and emotional abuse, if given the choice between the two, my preference would be physical by far.

A child’s spirit is broke long before the bone splinters. And both adult men and women also suffer emotional and physical abuse, thinking it is deserved because of the severe low self-esteem we carry. These levels of low self-esteem are a result of abusive words and behavior.

Verbal attacks on either a child or an adult can manifest in a variety of ways including comparing , criticizing, teasing , name-calling , insulting , rejecting and the evaluating of the child's or adult's behavior. The insulting word and the way it is directed hurt the human soul forever. It is indeed, a silent epidemic .

Handle your words with care

Handle your words with care

Sticks And Stones

I was taught, as many of you were taught, that “If you can’t say something nice about a person, say nothing at all.” While this saying certainly has merit, it can also be a form of abuse.

When a child is being abused by one parent and the other on-looking parent watches in silence, making no move to protect the child, that silence is wrong and abusive as well. This is one example when saying something nice may not help. Intervention is what is needed.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me,” could not be further from the truth. Each one of us has at one time or the other been on the receiving end of hurtful words. Make no mistake about it - those painful words not only hurt, they also change us forever. While broken bones can heal in time, words filled with rage, bullying, belittling and scoffing never heal. Even with therapy, time and knowledge – hurtful words remain for a life-time.

"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions, they become habits. Watch your habits, they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny." Frank Outlaw.

Build a Library of Positive Words

Here is an easy way to begin to make a change in how you use words to communicate.

  • Start building your own personal positive word list
  • Begin by listing “feel good” words such as great, wonderful, magnificent, remarkable, etc. After you’ve completed your list, grab the dictionary (or go on-line) and continue searching for additional mind-building words.
  • It’s important to review these words daily. Repetition is the mother of learning and change
  • Practice using some of the words on your list daily. Engage in a conversation with a family member, friend or neighbor.
  • Incorporate your list of words into brief sentences. Let’s say you have the word “great” on your list. You might use it like this. “Hi Bob, what a great day.” You pick up the phone and answer, “Mary, how fantastic to hear from you.” The word “fantastic” is on your list.

These exercises seem simple enough, however, if you’re in the habit of just blurting out words without thinking, it won’t be so easy.

Spiteful words can hurt your feelings but silence breaks your heart.

why-you-hate-compliments-how-to-start-appreciating-them

Words Can Hurt or Words Can Heal

Words are:

Powerful enough to manipulate thinking

Tender enough to induce mercy

Angry enough to cause injury

Sad enough to bring tears


Creative enough to produce thought

Happy enough to bring a smile

Cold enough to cause a chill

Strong enough to break a will


Bitter enough to prevent forgiveness

Expressive enough to hear the music

Selfish enough to starve another

Confused enough to bury a brother


Bold enough to conquer fear

Kind enough to quiet a tear

Empty enough to destroy emotion

Abrupt enough to interrupt thought


Inspiring enough to invoke change

Beautiful enough to feel inspired

Condemning enough to create a liar

Binding enough to make secure


Brutal enough to be harsh and cruel

Controlling enough to be possessive

Consoling enough to often bring comfort

Inflicting enough to cause pain


Witty enough to bring laughter

Painful enough to cause sorrow

Funny words that make you giggle

Optimistic words filled with hope


The Purest Form of Communication

The most powerful and loving words ever spoken to me came from a fur-child - not a human.

The most powerful and loving words ever spoken to me came from a fur-child - not a human.

The Tone of The Voice

There is something to be said for how we use words when directed to another person. This is referred to as the tone of the voice. Most parents do not set out to intentionally hurt their child. Yet emotional child abuse can be done without a parent even realizing it. This is done by using the tone of the words as we deliver them.

When a parent is over-emotional, it carries over into the words directed at the child (or adult.) Take the word "good night." This word can be said with anger, yelling, screaming, or void of no emotion what-so-ever. You might as well wish the recipient a bad, horrible, terrible night.

On the other hand, even if your conduct has been on the irritable side, with a loving and sweet tone to your voice it gives the person a sense that everything is ok - or better yet, "I'm ok."

We notice tone in the voice more often when the person speaking has an attitude. Though the person doesn't often realize it - this tone is down right abusive and leaves the recipient with a feeling of stupidity.

"Better than a thousand useless words is one word that gives peace." Buddha

Verbal Abuse

Speaking Words of Encouragement To Yourself

This may sound like a strange assignment and it may feel a bit uncomfortable in the beginning.

What I want you to realize is the "strongest voice you will ever hear comes from inside of you .". (Audrey Hunt). The more we use positive words for ourselves the easier it becomes to encourage others and make a difference in their lives.

Whether you believe it or not repeat the following exercise often:

  • I am thankful for my body. I love and accept every part of my amazing body. I no longer judge and criticize my body.
  • I am individual and unique. There is only one of me. I will be all that I can be.
  • Everyday in every way my life is better and better.
  • I am an exceptional writer. Words come to me easily and effortlessly.
  • I respect myself. I honor myself.
  • I am in the right place at the right time.
  • I am successful and reach my goals.
  • I am loved.
  • I am aligned with the energy of abundance.
  • I trust myself
  • I forgive myself for all the mistakes I've made.
  • I surround myself with people who treat me well.
  • I am enough.
  • I choose to see the light I am to this world.

Affirmations are strong, powerful and positive statements. As we repeat these statements over and over again they replace negativity with peace and love.

Words that penetrate the human soul, include our own soul and deserves the best of all words.

In the comment section below, please feel free to add your own affirmations.

Conclusion

You and I, along with everyone else, navigate our entire lives using words. When we change and improve our words then we begin to change and improve life.

© 2012 Audrey Hunt

Comments

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on January 09, 2020:

Harley

Yes, words are very powerful, especially hurtful comments. Those that hurl unkind messages to us are in pain and its not about us, its about them. Good thing to remember.

HarleyLanghans on September 23, 2019:

Words can be so traumatizing, I’ve replayed conversations in my head that I don’t believe I’ll ever be able to let go off

Troy Brooks from Stevensville, MT on May 08, 2017:

I am not a parent.

The only way I can relate is to dealing with people that are overconfident due to way too much positive input creating overconfidence. Which usually leads to their demise or death

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on May 07, 2016:

Reynold Jay

What a marvelous calling...a special education teacher. It takes great patience, enduring love and a unique character to work with these beautiful young people. You are a man filled with compassion. Words are incredibly powerful. Thank you for being here and for your support.

Reynold Jay from Saginaw, Michigan on April 30, 2016:

Found this gem of a HUB that is so very true. Being a special education teacher all my life has taught me to offer compassion at every turn and kind words to all. Anything else is uncalled for from me while others may hurl words every which way. I see hurtful words from others as a call for help. I could probably do the Dr. Phil show ( although I never watch it). Keep writing Audrey/ Vocal Coach as many need your teachings.

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on September 07, 2013:

bravewarrior - I still hear my mother's words the last time I saw her. She was in a nursing home preparing to die of cancer. My sister and I were visiting her. I flew to California from Hawaii, and knew it would be the last time I saw my mother.

I had spent my life wanting nothing but to win her love. As I looked at the woman who had brought me into the world, I bent down and asked her for one last request...to tell me that she loved me.

She screamed to my sister, standing close by, "get her out of here! " I fled her room hysterically. I never saw her again. Her painful words will forever live in my memory.

Thank you so much Sha for being here and for your insightful comments. Hugs ~ Audrey

Shauna L Bowling from Central Florida on August 31, 2013:

Audrey, it's amazing how powerful words are. They can be uplifting and they can be devastating. Tone of voice and inflection has everything to do with how our words are received and perceived. You have a very important message here. I'm pleased you have so many comments. Your message is being heard and passed on!

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on May 05, 2013:

moonlake - I grew up being a recipient of hurtful words. To this day when I hear yelling and such, it bothers me. I'm glad to see you here and thank you for your vote up. Blessings.

moonlake from America on May 05, 2013:

I hate nasty words spoken to a child or an adult. I remember a family at our kid's baseball games they never cared what child they yelled at and it finally got so bad they had to throw them out of the stands. I don't understand people being that unkind. Voted up.

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on April 17, 2013:

Diane Van Hook -

I'm so very glad to see you here. Your words are full of wisdom. I just revised a hub about child abuse and wish I had used your words, " Physical abuse is easier to identify, but emotional abuse penetrates further than ay knife or bullet. It punches holes in the spirit." How beautifully you/ve described this truth.

I want to reach out a give you a hug :) I appreciate so much your being here.

Diane Van Hook from CT on April 16, 2013:

Everything you said hits close to home. It is an unflinching truth that isn't always acknowledged, and I am glad that there are those are shining a spotlight on this issue. It becomes a vicious cycle, and we wonder why there is so much violence in the world.

Physical abuse is easier to identify, but emotional abuse penetrate further than any knife or bullet can touch. It punches holes in the spirit, leaving that child floundering to fill them, and as they grow up, seek out harmful methods to rid themselves of the pain. Bully doesn't just happen in school, the home can be its most dangerous location, because who's going to look.

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on April 07, 2013:

Sara - Wow! You have said it all. A very powerful and absolutely true statement. I'm an old lady now but still remember the hurtful words ( and words of praise ) that were hurdled at me when I was a child.

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on April 07, 2013:

rajan - Thanks for supporting me by reading my hub and commenting. Your words are so full of wisdom. And so are your magnificent hubs. Appreciate the votes and the sharing my beautiful friend.

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on April 07, 2013:

jainismus - Thanks so much for sharing my hub with your followers. I'm grateful to find you here. Blessings.

Sara on April 07, 2013:

So, true! Once you have split the word out from your mouth, you can't take it back! It's worse than physical abuse

Rajan Singh Jolly from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar, INDIA. on December 28, 2012:

This is a beautiful hub. Words indeed are powerful things and can have a variety of effects on the one receiving them.

Very well written and love all the quotes.

Voted up/useful/beautiful and shared.

Mahaveer Sanglikar from Pune, India on December 28, 2012:

Great Hub, useful for everybody. I have shared it with my followers.

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on December 15, 2012:

Arun Kanti - I'm very pleased to see you here. Your comments are so meaningful. I admire these words - "positive words can have a great supporting system healing the damages caused by abusive words." Thank you my new fried for adding this. I will follow you on hubpages!

Deb Welch - As a child I lived with the fear that accompanies verbal abuse and as you say, it must be dealt with at some point otherwise the repercussions last a lifetime.

I'm glad you point this out. Thank you Deb for being here and for the vote up and across.

justgrace1776 - (I love your name) - I appreciate your taking the time to read my hub and look forward to seeing you again soon.

justgrace1776 on November 04, 2012:

I very much enjoyed reading your hub, poem and quotes. Thanks so much.

Deb Welch on October 28, 2012:

What a fantastic Hub. Totally excellent. I know many are guilty of using the wrong words for various reasons and there is a big lesson to learn with what you have written. The Blind Man video shows real Faith. I had some of that verbal abuse and it does hurt and causes complexes if not dealth with. Voted across the board except funny. Lovely.

ARUN KANTI CHATTERJEE from KOLKATA on October 17, 2012:

As a newcomer on the Hub pages I find the Hub interesting. Every one should read and come to realise how positive words can have a great supporting system healing the damages caused by abusive words.It does not cost to utter positive words.

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on October 04, 2012:

Pamela K - Yes, it can take a lifetime to overcome abusive words hurled at us in child hood. I know that from experience. But what a glorious accomplishment it is! Thank you.

Dear Sunnie - I wish I would have added this in my hub - "Children are like sponges and take words to heart. To see the countenance fall on these little faces breaks my heart."

Your words are very powerful sunnie and let's hope others that have come to this hub will find them and read. Thank you so much!

Vinaya Ghimire from Nepal on October 03, 2012:

Veda, the Hindu Book of Scripture, says Sabda Brahma, Word is God. Without word,even God does not exist.

I just loved your work.

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on July 16, 2012:

connieread - I want to thank you for reading my hub and leaving a lovely comment. It's obvious you are one that knows the importance of using words which support others!

Mekenzie - Yes, silence can truly be a form of abuse and is seldom recognized as such. I'm glad you caught that. Thank you for appreciating my poem as it came from my heart. I'm so glad you came by and want to thank you for linking this hub to your own. I will read your hub on this subject and link it to this one as well. Blessings.

ChristyWrites - Gee, thanks Christy for the great votes on this hub. I'm so pleased that you liked it and I want you to know you are a great support system for me.

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on July 16, 2012:

Marcy Goodfleisch - As you have said - words can cut deeper than physical abuse and those scars remain for a lifetime. We may carelessley and with anger throw a word out at someone and not even remember having done it. We don't mean to. But the damage is already done. Thank you Marcy.

deergha from ...... a place beyond now and beyond here !!! on July 04, 2012:

wonderful hub...voted up and shared.

Angela Brummer from Lincoln, Nebraska on July 03, 2012:

This is amazing. I had to fight back the tears! This offers great direction towards becoming better parents. Thank You!

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on June 23, 2012:

Dear Dim - What a fantastic support system I have found in you! Hub after hub (about 125 or so) you have knocked at my door and brought me such joy. Your goodness know no bounds my friend. Thanks you!

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on June 23, 2012:

Homesteadbound - With you, your sisters your adopted children and then me all surviving child abuse perhaps we can turn some of this around by sharing more of our stories. It's not easy. It takes courage and support to talk about it. One of the biggest side effects that come from abuse is shame.

It begins with the use of words. As sad as this is...it's true.

You are one of the most giving people I know. What with your website (s) created to help others as well as all you give (information, support, dividers :-) - well there you have it. You're the best!

kygirl89 from West Virginia on June 23, 2012:

I love this piece; it is so positive and uplifting. That old saying is ridiculous (sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me). The person who first said this was either in denial or living under a rock. Our words do hurt and so we need to be cautious what we say. Thank you for sharing this piece!

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on June 21, 2012:

fpherg48 - You do me honor with your compliments and so I am very touched. Having lived "in the line of fire" as a child with angry, abusive words thrown here and there I learned first hand how the use of words can either make or break the spirit.

Your kindness brings forth the very best example of how the right words given in the right way can both heal the broken spirit and generate new power and light. Thank you.

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on June 21, 2012:

Hi Charlotte - Your response to my hub is music to my ears. With your busy schedule you still fit in the time to read and comment on my hub. Do you know how much this means to me? Thank you dear friend.

Movie Master - I think we all need to be reminded of the importance of thinking before we speak. I know the writer needs it :-)

Thank you dear Lesly for being a very good friend for such a long time.

I truly do appreciate you!

Maggs224 - Your beautiful comments reveal a compassionate and empathetic person Writers must have an extra helping of these beautiful qualities because there are so many here on hubpages. My reward for writing this hub is to find one more - you!

When I'm feeling like I need an "atta girl", I will read your magnificent comments. You certainly know how to penetrate the human soul in a positive and up-lifting way. Thank you for all of your votes and for sharing.

GDRshop on June 21, 2012:

touching hub and made me think about a lot of things

Jenn from Pennsylvania on June 20, 2012:

Very nice hub, and I really like the video of the blind man as well. I agree that words can be very hurtful and have a strong impact on the person they are said to. The world would indeed be a nicer place if people said more positive things and much less negative about others.

whonunuwho from United States on June 20, 2012:

The pen may be mightier than the sword, yet spoken words are the most awesome of all. They have the power to create, destroy and make life the best that it can possibly be, when used in the appropriate manner.Thanks for your work.

Victoria Lynn from Arkansas, USA on June 20, 2012:

AWESOME! Your words so need to be said. This is the second hub I've read today about self-talk and positive thoughts. I think someone is trying to tell me something as I tend to get bogged down in the negative. This article offers great encouragement and is beautifully written. I love the poem, too. Great job, Audrey!

I have heard the saying you mentioned said this way, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will break my heart." So true that it gives me chills.

Christy Birmingham from British Columbia, Canada on June 20, 2012:

I vote up, interesting, and beautiful. Words are so powerful, whether a positive or negative influence. Your poem is lovely!

Susan Ream from Michigan on June 17, 2012:

vocalcoach, Excellent Hub on the Power of Words. You captured the influence words have to shape, lift or destroy. I liked what you said about being silent when abuse occurs .. it too is abusive.

Your poem was very meaty giving us much to think on. Powerful Video, "Change Your Words Change the world."

I also did a hub on the Power of Words. I'm going to connect it to this hub. Voted Up and all across!

Blessings,

Mekenzie

connieread from England on June 15, 2012:

This is beautiful and highly relevant! I too am a believer in the power of words- language and communication are what make us human. Thanks for sharing this

Dim Flaxenwick from Great Britain on May 21, 2012:

Absolutely brilliat article and sorely needed in the world we live in today.

Well one for being so thoughtful.

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on May 20, 2012:

Alastar ~ You are so right about the effect of words and how the wrong ones can scar someone for life. My own mother, God bless her, was mentally ill but we children didn't know it. We took every word personally as she was a very strong force. If we only knew then what we know now...

Thanks my friend for your strong support!

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on May 14, 2012:

kelleyward ~ To know that you have been inspired by my hub warms my heart so. Thank you Kelley and thank you for sharing this!

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on May 14, 2012:

Alastar - Having experienced both physical pain and the lasting effect of verbal pain, it is the hurt and fear of words that is the most damaging. If not for the tender, kind EXAMPLE OF MY FATHER, I'm not sure where I would be today. Such a positive force is needed to help balance the emotions in a childs life. Thank you for your comments.

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on May 14, 2012:

Realhousewife ~ You are one of hubpages most talented writers. I make it a practice to read all of your hubs, especially the very funny ones that make me laugh. Laughter is also a positive force and we all need more of it in our lives.

Your comment about the "sting of a slap" and how it compares with cruel words that last forever is so true. Your children are truly blessed to have you as their mother.

Thank you for sharing your wisdom Kelley.

kelleyward on May 14, 2012:

Hi Vocalcoach! Words are so powerful they can hurt or heal. Thanks for sharing this wonderful hub. I'm inspired this morning after reading this. Voted up and shared! Take care, Kelley

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on May 10, 2012:

Hello dear QudsiaP1 - You left a very powerful message in your comment. "Words once spoken and words once heard can never be taken back." How I wish I had included that in this hub. I'm glad that you also confirmed the comparison between physical and verbal abuse. Unless people have been on both ends of abuse, it may be hard to understand. Thank you so much!

QudsiaP1 on May 09, 2012:

How true you are in your comparison between physical and verbal abuse. How strange it is that the tongue is a far worse weapon then any. After all words once spoken and words once heard can never be taken back.

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on May 01, 2012:

Hi Sandy~ Very nice to see you here and to read your impressive comments. I'm glad you found my hub to be inspiring and that you appreciated my poem. I thank you!

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on May 01, 2012:

emilybeee ~ So very nice to see you. I agree with your beautiful comments. It takes less energy to speak sweetly and uplift others than to yell and bring someone down. Thank you.

Sandy Frost from India on April 23, 2012:

Definitely, an inspirational creation.. I heard somewhere a phrase that says a person can better win over an enemy by words rather than using swords and spears. Really, words say a lot more than other things.

Hats off to this superb hub and beautiful poem that narrates the power of words very well.

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on April 21, 2012:

Rusticliving ~ What beautiful comments you have left for me. A true example of what this hub is about. You have a wonderful gift for using words to penetrate the Human Soul. Which is why I'm linking you in my new hub about "Commenting." Am I proud of you? You'd better bet I am! Love you too and thank you so much!

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on April 20, 2012:

mcbirdbks - Oh, you make me feel so good. What beautiful words you have selected to share with me. I'll take them to bed and tuck them under my pillow. Mahalo, dear friend.

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on April 20, 2012:

TToombs - Excuse me while I laugh! I loved it when you wrote that you were stapling my hub to his forehead. And you tell that man that he'd best be learning how to talk to you or I'll send my "posse" out to take care of him. :-)

Thanks so much for your comments.

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on April 20, 2012:

happyboomernurse ~ You are one of those very rare people who take the time to think about how words affect others. You also have a gift for knowing just how to express yourself well. Adding to this...you're an excellent listener.

I always read your comments that you leave on the hubs you read and am impressed by both what you say and how you say it. I'm writing a new hub on "comments" (not sure of the title yet,) and you are on my list of excellent commentators.

I can always be sure that I feel better after viewing your comments on my hubs then I did before reading them.

Thank you too for liking my poem and for the wonderful ratings you have given me. You are an example of goodness Gail. Sending good thoughts and hugs!

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on April 19, 2012:

Vincent ~ You have risen above the "words of terror" that broke your heart again and again. You endured violent abuse, neglect and fear. Still, you lived through all that to become the man that you are today.

And you have found a way to invert your abuse into exceptional poetry. Your remarkable writing is the result of your childhood suffering.

I am honored to be the recpient of your beautiful compliment and inspired at the same time. Thank you Vincent. You are loved!

mckbirdbks from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas on April 19, 2012:

What a beautiful message from such a beautiful writer.

Terrye Toombs from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map. on April 18, 2012:

Definitely "words to live by." :) My husband is one that doesn't understand the power of the words he uses and doesn't understand why I get upset. I've tried to explain it to him but he doesn't get it. I'm printing this out and stapling it to his forehead. Awesome hub and voting up.

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on April 17, 2012:

Dear, sweet tammy ~ I'm discovering that more and more of my hub friends have known first hand the sting that comes with abuse, especially verbal abuse. How distructive words can be. I love the people here in our hubpage family who are always ready to step up to the plate and deliver words of support. You are one of those, tammy!

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on April 17, 2012:

billybuc ~ Somehow, shame is felt by those receiving the abuse. Writing about inner emotions and feelings is healing. Thank you my friend for your deep understanding and support.

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on April 15, 2012:

Thank you Audrey for giving your stamp of approval on my poem. Fear is a terrible thing and when a child fears the words coming from her mother...it's bound to cause some damage.

emilybee on April 14, 2012:

I like your poem on words. I don't see any reason to be discouraging rather than uplifting, motivating and positive, especially to children. It simply spreads kindness and creates meaningful and lifelong morals and values. In today's crazy world, it is just smart to spread kindness because you really never know how your simple acts or words can influence somebody for the better and make their day so much happier. Great hub vocalcoach :-)

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on April 14, 2012:

Audrey ~ I thank you for your support. I always "light up" when I see that you have taken time to visit me. May you always hear words of kindess, joy and love!

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on April 14, 2012:

Sueswan ~ I'm so sorry that you had to take being bullied as you were growing up. And adding to that, to be made to feel like you are to blame. Makes me so mad!

In spite of all that you have become a beautiful adult with a kind heart. That's what counts. I'm very glad you liked my hub so much - I feel so good when I hear that.

Take care, dear friend and know how much you're loved!

GDiBiase from Portland, ME on April 14, 2012:

Hi Vocalcoach,

Thank you for writing such a powerful hub It is so very true that words can be so hateful and can cause a child to feel utterly degraded and useless. Those words the hear flung at them are burnt into their memory. It is unfortunate that many children will grow up doing what they hear and see. The cycle abusive must be broken!

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on April 14, 2012:

writer20 - How old were you when you asked your father to come back home? A brave action for a youngster and so glad he listened to you and came home.

Thank you.

Sunnie Day on April 14, 2012:

Such a great hub that hopefully will penetrate the hearts of those who use words that hurt so badly. Children will grow up to fling those same words right back if not conscious of the damage they do. Children are like sponges and take words to heart. To see the countenance fall on these little faces breaks my heart. ...Thank you for sharing this wonderful hub.

Hugs,

Sunnie

Pamela Dapples from Just Arizona Now on April 14, 2012:

Positive self-talk is essential to a healthy, productive life and I think sometimes it takes a lifetime to overcome childhood for a person whose experiences in childhood were damaging. Voting up and awesome.

Marcy Goodfleisch from Planet Earth on April 14, 2012:

You are so right - harsh words leave scars that last a lifetime. I agree - the physical abuse is less damaging, in the longterm, in most (if not all) cases. This is not to suggest that it's a minor thing when someone is physically abusive - it just means some things cut way more than skin deep.

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on April 14, 2012:

Thank you Denise for your lovely comment. And thanks for voting up, awesome and sharing. I'ts too bad that classes on this subject are not mandatory in school. Change would take place much earlier in our lives for the better. We need to be taught how to speak to others using words of kindess and support.

Cindy Murdoch from Texas on April 14, 2012:

Truer words were never spoken than these. Having intimately seen the effects of the abuse of my sisters and me, and then in my adopted children, it is easy to know that some of these wounds may never heal. This is an awesome hub and so much wisdom can be found in your words. I am definitely sharing this one!

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on April 13, 2012:

drbj - It doesn't surpise me that youlive by these same "word principls". I believe we are alike in many ways. I respect your professionalism found in your writing so when I get a "pat on the back" from you...well, I am thrilled! And now - I'm off to bed!

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on April 13, 2012:

Sidkemp - Thank you so much. I will put that on my "to write" list. Wonderful to see you here!

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on April 13, 2012:

Dearest Eddy ! Awwwwwe, gee, thank you my precious friend. Take good care now. (Hugs)

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on April 13, 2012:

Hyphenbird - I can't imagine that you feel the need to work on your tone of voice. Every word that you have written and commented has been inspiring. And I've known you for a while now.

You share such appreciation for all my hubs and I am very grateful for that. You do the same for each hubber that you comment one. Your own words have enlightened me many times.

Thank you my friend. God's blessings to you!

Suzie from Carson City on April 13, 2012:

vocalcoach...love, love, love this !! So beautiful and powerful and meaningful. You must find a way to send your Poem out to the WORLD!! I'm serious!

Up Up Up!!!!!!

maggs224 from Sunny Spain on April 13, 2012:

You are so right that words are so powerful I think most of us can relate to their destructive and hurtful power. I am so glad that your hub did not simply focus on the destructive power instead you showed us the other side of this two edged sword.

Even better you gave us a plan which outlined a way to build and increase our personal library of positive, healing and affirmative words.

Not only did you show us how to build this beneficial library but you then outlined how to use and put it into practice.

I love a hub that helps people enhance their own lives and those of others.

I loved the video of the blind man which highlighted the difference that saying something in in a more positive way can make.

Your hub has hit all my buttons so on my way out I will vote up and hit all of yours except the funny. I will also share this :-D maggs

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on April 13, 2012:

sofs ~ Yes indeed, the world would be so different if the words spoken were such that we felt more appreciated, loved and treasured. You make an excellent point sofs. I also wish you a great day filled with God's blessings!

Movie Master from United Kingdom on April 13, 2012:

You write such wonderful, helpful hubs Audrey, I really appreciate this one thank you.

voted up, best wishes lesly

Charlotte B Plum on April 13, 2012:

This is a beautiful hub - everyone should read it. I especially love the video of the blind man. It is so simple yet so impactful.

It is so true - the lifelong ripples that words spoken during our childhood have on us. You are have a very special heart, vocalcoach - I imagine your friends, family and students must be so blessed to know you.

Alastar Packer from North Carolina on April 13, 2012:

Taught, and was shown by example, the same thing Vocalcoach-- if you can't say something nice about a person...The power of negative words does go deep, especially for children. Deep psychic scars in some cases. Some are able to self-reflect or expunge the damage as adults but far too many carry the hurt and deep trauma through-out life. You've probably written the quintessential poem on the subject Vocalcoach.

Kelly Umphenour from St. Louis, MO on April 12, 2012:

Vocal coach - beautiful - and I have always admired your positivity. You do have the power to life others up - the power of positive thinking is amazing. The power of suggestion - is healing. I agree too - I'd rather someone slap my face than say something horrible to my face. The sting is much shorter lived in a slap than words that can live and fester in the brain forever, some bells can't be un-rung. That can be devastating.

Voted up and everything but funny.

Liz Rayen from California on April 12, 2012:

Vocalcoach~ This is an amazing hub and a very tender subject indeed. Oh, the world would be a better place if we all but stopped, gave thought, and then spoke. Your love for human life has always been amazing to me and your genuine love for people has hopefully passed its way to me as well. Love you, love the hub! Voted upppppp! XOXOX

Gail Sobotkin from South Carolina on April 12, 2012:

Dear Vocalcoach,

True to your hubber name, you have shown us the awesome power of the words we speak to ourselves and to others and given us tools to become more aware of the effect that things we say and the vocal inflections we use to say them, have for the power of good or destruction.

Your poem was powerful and stunning. Thanks so much for sharing it on Hub Pages and also for recommending the poetry of other talented hubbers. I've already read some of the poems you mentioned but will have to go and read the others.

Voted up across the board except for funny.

Sending Hub Hugs and Love,

Gail

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on April 12, 2012:

Pamela - Yes, children's egos are very fragile. And sometimes it's what we don't say that can hurt too. When I found the video of the blind man, it was like out of nowhere a higher source sent it to me. Thanks my friend for commenting, liking the videos and voting up and awesome.

Vincent Moore on April 12, 2012:

My fellow scribe and brilliant talent. You express much about words and how they are used. I have been the brunt of violence, and mental abuse as a boy and teen. It had an impact on my young life then.

I saw terror in a voice, the words used to discredit and breakdown another human being. I witnessed such violence in my household. People can be so mean to one another, their tongues are poison in their mouths, they destroy the moral fiber of a child who is confronted by adults who hurt with words.

Thank you for bringing to light the mechanics of words and how they can be used to build up or tear down a fellow human being. You captured my full attention with this brilliant hub. I thank you very much.

Tammy from North Carolina on April 12, 2012:

This is a sad subject which really needs more attention. I know the pain of harsh words and I can relate to what you wrote. I hope this hub will make people stop and think about how easy it is to break people down. You did such a wonderful job!

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on April 12, 2012:

diogenes - I was put in that same position as a child. Like you...the memory lingers on. But in spite of it all, just look at the beautiful man you are today!

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on April 12, 2012:

This is powerful Audrey! Thank you for speaking for so many out there who have undergone emotional and psychological abuse over the years.

I love this hub and I think very highly of the writer.

bill

Audrey Howitt from California on April 12, 2012:

Words are so important! As is the tone of voice they are spoken in--wonderful hub Audrey!

Sueswan on April 12, 2012:

Hi Audrey

I thank you from the bottom of my heart for writing this hub and the link to my poem. :)

Being one that was teased growing up, I know how words can be used to hurt.

I was always told to ignore the bullying and they would stop. I was made to feel like I was partially to blame because I would cry and give them more ammunition.

Confucius

Words are the voice of the heart.

Voted up and away!

Wishing you everything wonderful :)

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on April 12, 2012:

Vegas - I know what you mean. Most people don't intentionally try to belittle others. They just have no clue that the words they choose are distructive. Maybe you should forward this article to them. :-)

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on April 12, 2012:

Jools ~ Oh, the power of just even one word. It can build or destroy. We can even change a life or two depending on how we choose our words.

I'm sure you'll put a smile on someones face today with your choice of words. You have achieved this with me, dear friend.

Joyce Haragsim from Southern Nevada on April 12, 2012:

You have written a wonderful hub to help every one handle their problems. You have bought back some memories for me when my father left, I found out were he was staying and pleaded for him to come home and he did.

Voted up and awesome, Joyce.

Denise Handlon from North Carolina on April 12, 2012:

Audrey-this is a beautiful and timely hub. Advocating for positive self-esteem through written and spoken language is never out of style. You show a lot of class in the way you present your message here. Thanks for sharing and I've voted it up and awesome.

Much obliged for the inclusion in your list of poems here. I always enjoy reading your quotes and love both the one from Mother T and Outlaw. How true...how true...

Audrey Hunt (author) from Idyllwild Ca. on April 12, 2012:

Teaches ~ Building self-esteem begins in the earliest part of childhood. When we are "branded" with low self-esteem it can take a life-time to erase the image, if even then. Appreciate your comments.

drbj and sherry from south Florida on April 12, 2012:

You made so many outstanding points with this perfect hub, Audrey, about the importance of positive words, positive tone of voice and positive self-talk. Exactly what I have always preached. Thank you for your corroboration. The videos were perfect, too.

Sid Kemp from Boca Raton, Florida (near Miami and Palm Beach) on April 12, 2012:

Thank you. I'd love to hear you write more about nourishing words that inspire the soul.

Eiddwen from Wales on April 12, 2012:

Great words here from a great writer and a wonderful lady who I am so proud to call my friend.

Take care and I wish you a wonderful day.

Eddy.

Brenda Barnes from America-Broken But Still Beautiful on April 12, 2012:

This is such an important article and I pray many people find it, read it and apply it. I, myself, am working on that tone of voice you mentioned. The Duggar mom (19 Kids and Counting) has such a sweet, soft voice even when disciplining her children. I want to sound like that to my child.

Words are so powerful and create reality. Failure to use them properly is disobedience to God who has instructed us in His word the Bible about our tongue. Thank you vocalcoach for this reminder. I shall apply this information in my own life more.

Sophie on April 12, 2012:

I so agree with what you have to say. What a beautiful place this world would be if we opened our mouths only for positive purposes. There would be no maimed souls.. just healthy wholesome people. Have a great day. God Bless.