Skip to main content

What Can Be Learned From Tolkien's Legendarium

The Lord of the Rings is a long and deeply detailed book, and there is far more information in Tolkien’s Legendarium than what is in Lord of the Rings or The Hobbit. There are a great many things that can be learned from either of these books. Here are some of the things that I have learned from them:

  1. If you find yourself in a cave with a stranguries that wants to do a riddle game, put on the magic ring that you found and get yourself as far from that creature as possible.
  2. If you are in a mine, and you see a skeleton near an open well, put your hands in our pockets and get as far away from them as possible.
  3. If you are trying to get away from Big People in black robes (wo are riding black horses), cross a river. They do not like baths.
  4. Get yourself a wizard, even if he is a giant grump. He will come in handy later on.
  5. Blue Wizards are shady dudes. You will never be sure if they are in the East, working on trying to stop the bad guys, or if they are out there teaching people the dark arts.
  6. Get yourself a Sam Gamgee. You will accomplish whatever you have set out to do. He will do all the heavy lifting.
  7. If someone offers you a ring, do no accept it. Nothing good will come of it. You will likely end up at a volcano with someone trying to bite your finger off.
  8. If your dad is a steward, chances are he is going to be a complete jerkface.
  9. When in doubt, sing a walking song.
  10. Your relatives should be avoided at all costs. They are greedy and will make your ears twitch.
  11. If you can have a feast, do not pass it up. Ever.
  12. Learn Elvish. It will make you friends.
  13. The world is only populated by like three females.
  14. Do not ask questions of Elves or wizards. You will not get an answer. They will get angry or evasive.
  15. Always trust a ranger. They are rad.
  16. Never steal mushrooms from anyone. They are likely to send their dogs after you. It is not worth it.
  17. Do not take shortcuts. They will only cause you trouble. Just take the road and go wherever it takes you.
  18. The legend of Bilbo’s gold will ruin your house. Punk kids are going to tear down your walls trying to find the hidden treasure.
  19. Be watchful of your spoons when your relatives are around.
  20. If you end up in Bree, do not give a fake name. People are going to want to know your whole backstory.
Scroll to Continue

Related Articles