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Trump Supporters Shocked As Yard Signs Vanish

Vince Marsden is a writer, satirist and comedian with a demonstrated history of working in the online media

Windhaven

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Local homeowners were shocked to find that their "Trump 2020" signs and banners had vanished overnight. Mike Mendzak, 57 of Windhaven woke up to find that all of his 146 yard signs, banners and bumper stickers had disappeared from his yard.

The signs were later spotted at the Windhaven town dump. Our Reporter Joe Jackson caught up with the signs.


Joe Jackson: What's behind this?


Sign 146: "We've had enough! It was one thing back in March when our former owners were seemingly confused about the results of the 2020 election. It's another when it's late July and we're out there, burning up in the sun. My ink has been fading for over a year and these people have no idea what it's like."


Joe Jackson: So you just up and left?


Sign 27: "We walked out of our own volition.

We've been talking about it for months, but the time had come, and most of us had legs. The banners aren't so lucky, so we carried them with us."


Joe Jackson: Why come here, to the Windhaven town dump?


Sign 1: "This place is a breeze compared to what we've been through! People have no idea what it's like to be on the front lines! You think it's easy to be gawked and sneered at by passers by!? A 5 year old spit on me last week! I just stood there and took it. We've been out there, taking it for years, but NO MORE!"


Banner 7: "NO MORE!"


Sign 1: "NO MORE!" We've weathered the storms of political discord and we're tired of being puppets for people who refuse to accept that their dreams of an autocratic dictatorship are over!"


Joe Jackson: Now that you've left, what are your plans for the future?


Sign 59: "We're hoping to be recycled. Most of us would like to go on in a new life. Many of us would prefer to become something more useful like boxes for sex toys or Koozies for Starbucks. Sadly, the banners can't come with us because their made of non-recyclable plastic."


Joe Jackson: So what will you do?


Banner 5: "We're self-immolating."


Joe Jackson: Considering you're made of plastic, isn't that bad for the environment?


Banner 13: "Fuck em!"


© 2021 Vincenzo Marsden

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