Do you have difficulty initiating or developing a two-person relationship? When do you know that a relationship becomes a shared romantic relationship? What do you expect from this relationship?
These three questions call for three different and complementary paths. A bit like a path of learning, of initiation:-)
First, to start a relationship, there are certain prerequisites.
- 1. feel lovable. To think and feel that a person will be happy to share moments with you. If you don't feel lovable inside, you will develop complicated behaviors guided by the fear of rejection.
-2. Really want to be in a relationship. Often we hear this expression: “I have a boyfriend or a girlfriend”. It is true that it has entered everyday language. However, very often, it corresponds to a less glorious reality. To have is a possessive verb: I have a house, I have a car, I have a boyfriend, etc. In some cases this “I” is the illustration of an interior diagram, blown by the social pressure, conveyed in magazines, that you are someone who succeeds in life if you have the job, the boyfriend, the apartment, and so you can put him on his arm and take him to going for a walk in parties to show that we are not alone, that we are loved, that we are friendly and that all is well, we are within the required standards and that is reassuring. Good from a number of boyfriends, you still have to ask yourself questions. Likewise, if in the first moments of a relationship, the other feels this anxious and anxiety-provoking dimension that is too present, there is a strong risk that he will not follow up. SO, don't seek to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, seek to share a relationship.
When do we know that a relationship becomes a true romantic relationship?
When we are in a fluid exchange, a real sharing, that on both sides we are happy to meet again because we understand each other, we feel good… In the first year of the relationship, we adjust, we exchange, mine You're welcome, we validate if it's solid, if it's a relationship that can deepen. Here what matters is the present moment, it's sharing, it's being happy together. If at this point you are already trying to fit the relationship into a box with rules, which once again are given by diktats, you will lose sight of the most important thing, which is to experience present happiness. We girls can have this annoying tendency to get ready-made ideas about what a man should and shouldn't do in a relationship. Rituals, codes, the rules are so numerous that they lose sight of the essential and that they transform the very essence of the relationship into an obstacle course in a hostile environment. So LIVE and ENJOY now… don't think about tomorrow. You can also have a puppy which will help you to build you a good relationship, you can find many puppies name for your puppy
Finally, what do you expect from this relationship, now that it turns out that you are in a shared romantic relationship? Often times when the relationship is formalized, things change. Each will try to take power over the other. Friends of each other are reviewed, relationships also, habits. Everyone's work and pace are debated. The hobbies, distractions and hobbies are reduced to the skin of grief than what is accepted by both .. Even personal thoughts are scrutinized and questioned. So, said bluntly, we are witnessing a power struggle within the relationship and the stake here is to enslave the other to their point of view of what a life should be like. Vision against vision, rules against rules. These behaviors emerge much more clearly when children appear. One complaining that the other works too much, that he has to give up his personal ambitions; the other arguing that he no longer sees his friends, or that he has no more time .. and if I do not see my friends why you would see yours and if I have no time why you would take time and if .. and if .. and if ...
But this is all bad!
The goal of a shared relationship is to allow the other to grow, to realize themselves, to support them so that this can be done, it is to give them access to freedom, to happiness. This is the reason for being together:-)