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The Writer's Mailbag: Installment #356

The Stages of Grief

I was thinking about the stages of grief the other day while I was building a grape arbor. Welcome to my brain. It goes off on remarkable tangents.

Anyway, you are all aware of the different stages, right? Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, those are generally considered the major stages we pass through when we have suffered a loss. Some say there are seven, shock being one, pain/guilt being the other to add to the five.

Whatever it may be, it is meant to show that grief is linear, it is not endless, and it is a natural process that we humans must go through to reach the other side and get about living again.

I’m not sure I completely buy into that psychological teaching.

To me, grief seems to be circular, not linear. Grief seems, to me, to be on a continuum. It will reappear when you least expect it. You’ll be walking the dogs, or watching tv, and a wave of grief, associated with a loss from years ago, will come crashing down upon you, and that’s not linear in any way, shape, or form.

And that’s all right! It’s okay to experience grief years after a loss. The loss of a loved one should hurt and no, I’m not talking about gut-wrenching, crippling pain after ten years, or twenty, but for sure a melancholy, a moment of recall, even a tear shed.

It’s all right!

And with that happy topic covered, we will not turn our attention to this week’s mail.

The Mail Room!

The Mail Room!

Writing Sounds

From Mr. Happy: “Alrighty, thanks for the conversation. I appreciate it. So, how about that: "How would You write-out that sound of an elongated "because" by extending the "ȯ" sound? Any ideas? This is still an "issue" lol”

Mr. Happy, you may have stumped me. I have no idea how I would do that, nor do I have any suggestions for you. I thought about this five days ago when you asked it, thought about it three days ago, and here I am today, and I’m still clueless.

All I can offer is an apology for my mind going completely blank on this question. I think I’ll use my age as an excuse. There has to be some advantage to being 72, right?

Answer the Challenge

From Robert: “I’ve read a couple of your books, and I’m very impressed with your opening pages. You capture readers immediately, something I’ve always had trouble doing. So I thought I would issue a challenge to you. Can you write a short introduction for a book about any topic? What if I challenge you with one word? Could you do it right now? Here’s the word: premonition!”

Too fun, Robert! I love this stuff. Okay, here you go, the opening paragraphs for a book about a premonition.

I remember thinking, there’s no way this turns out well.

Have you ever experienced that? You’re suddenly faced with a situation, a decision, a fork in the friggin’ road, you take a moment to ponder, your neurons engage, your options flash by in a millisecond, the computer between your ears comes to a conclusion, and that conclusion is nope, no way this turns out well no matter what the hell I do.

That’s where I was two months ago, a knock at the door, me on my fourth beer of the night, turn the tv off, get up off the couch, open the door and there she was, breathtaking, a catch-of-the-breath beauty, raven hair flowing over her shoulders, green eyes illuminated by the porch light, her exhales pluming in the nighttime cold, maybe five-six, maybe one-twenty, hard to tell with the bulky clothing.

She didn’t raise her head enough to look directly at me, choosing instead to keep her head bowed, raising only her gaze, an odd gesture I thought at the time.

And my first thought, the aforementioned there’s no way this turns out well.

Such a strange thing to think, faced with loveliness, nothing out of the ordinary happening on the street, nothing at all to trigger that thought, and yet there it was, harkening back to the cave man, hunter-gatherer of yesteryear, trusting instincts fueled by life and death experiences, fight or flight, choose right or become a meal for others.

There’s no way this turns out well.

I should have listened to that voice.

Stand Alone or Series

From Belinda: “I’m just finishing up my first novel, and I was wondering your opinion on leaving it a stand-alone novel, or making it the first in a series?”

You know, I don’t think I’ve ever had a question from a Belinda before. It’s such a pretty name. We need more Belindas in the world, don’t you think?

Stand-alone or series? It’s up to you! What do you feel like doing? Have you given yourself that opportunity by the way you ended the novel? Is the door open for another installment? That would be the first consideration. If the door is open, and you’ve got more you can give, then I say go for it. Make sure you like those characters, because a series means a lot of time spent with them.

I made that decision after writing “Shadows Kill,” the first in my “Shadows” series. I liked the characters so much I just decided to soldier on with a second one, then a third, then a fourth, then a fifth, and who knows how long that series will go on? I already have a working title for the next, and the plot is rattling around inside my head. Perhaps you can hear it?

Anyway, this is a personal decision you’ll have to make. If you left the door open for a series, and you enjoy the storyline and characters, I can’t see a single reason why you wouldn’t do it.

Do you have a reason to write a series?

Do you have a reason to write a series?

Rewrite a Novel

From Yvonne: “I’m curious, have you ever rewritten a novel? Would you ever do that, and why would you?”

I’m doing it right now, Yvonne. My wife requested I rewrite my very first novel, “The 12/59 Shuttle From Yesterday To Today,” so I’m making her happy. It’s an interesting process. I’m a much different writer than I was ten years ago, and I found, once I started the process, there were parts of the original book I wanted to change. I’m happy I’m doing it. In the end, it seems to me this is a personal decision that only the writer can make. If you have a good enough reason to do it, then do it!

Back to the Stages of Grief

Not to bum anyone out, but a friend mentioned it the other day. He had lost his wife to cancer five years ago, and he said he still has a wave of grief wash over him from time to time, and he wondered if that was normal.

I still have a wave of grief wash over me over the death of my father, fifty years ago, so yes, I think it’s normal. What is not normal, in my opinion, is to deny it or try to suppress it.

But what do I know? I’m just a writer!

The weather is warming. I think we can finally all agree, in half the world, at least, that spring is here, and I say hooray for that!

Enjoy your week of spring and remember, please, to do all things with love.

Questions for the Mailbag? Ask them in the comments below, or send them to me via email at holland1145@yahoo.com.

Thanks a bunch!

2021 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)

“Helping writers to spread their wings and fly.”

Grief over the loss of a loved one can return time and time again.

Grief over the loss of a loved one can return time and time again.

Comments

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on April 19, 2021:

Venkatachari M. thank you for sharing that about grief. I do believe you find your feelings soothed by doing that, and I understand it completely. Thank you sir!

Venkatachari M from Hyderabad, India on April 17, 2021:

A good mailbag with some interesting and unique questions this time.

I think that grief is both linear and cyclical. It is linear in the sense that it is felt and gets tackled step by step. And, it is cyclical because it returns again and again during your life.

For your information, I keep spending one or two minutes every day in front of my wife's photo (which is in my wardrobe). It soothes your feelings.

Your short introductory paragraphs to the challenge issued by ... are very admirable. Other replies are also good and informative.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on April 15, 2021:

Thank you, Denise! I'm glad I'm not the only one who experiences grief that way. No, not as intense, but still a real entity at times.

Blessings to you always

Denise McGill from Fresno CA on April 14, 2021:

I believe you are right about the cyclical nature of grief. I've had it circle around a number of times. Not as intense, not as long-lasting, but still there. By the way, I love your beginning paragraphs for premonition! You have it going on.

Blessings,

Denise

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on April 14, 2021:

Thank you Sha! I know, you love the original, as do I. I'm actually using it as a basis for a trilogy, so with that in mind, the re-write makes sense. And the title is changed as well, so it really doesn't intrude on the original at all.

Anyway, thank you for always believing in me.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on April 14, 2021:

MizB, thank you for your kind words. I really do appreciate your support. Truth be told, I much prefer my writing today than ten years ago. I do feel I have grown, and that is satisfying.

Great weather here! We are about to hit seventy for the first time since September. Hooray!!!!

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on April 14, 2021:

Misbah, thank you my friend. Yes, I love music and yes, I will listen to your recommendation. Thank you for it, and thank you for being so intent on delivering your comment here. I appreciate it, and you, very much.

Blessings always

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on April 14, 2021:

Mary, I completely understand. I'm sorry for your losses. Yes, we do move on, but we must also allow ourselves time for grief.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on April 14, 2021:

Thank you, Flourish! It's all right today. I have learned to grow from grief, to learn from it, and to allow it the time necessary.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on April 14, 2021:

Thank you for your thoughts on grief, Devika! I appreciate you taking the time to share.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on April 14, 2021:

Manatita, thanks for your thoughts on grief. I believe as you do, grief is necessary for growth, and today I can allow it to wash over me without consuming me, which is progress for sure.

Blessings always

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on April 14, 2021:

Hey, Mel! If you're killing off your characters, a series is, without a doubt, not in the cards for you. As to your question, I'll tackle that next Monday. Thanks buddy! Questions keep this series alive, and I appreciate it.

Shauna L Bowling from Central Florida on April 14, 2021:

Bill, these mailbags just keep getting better and better and your audience is growing! I see lots of new names each week.

Your spur-of-the-moment intro based on "premonition" is brilliant. But, dammit, you've made me wanting more! What happens that the protagonist regrets?

I'm curious about your 12/59 rewrite, as well. I love the original and don't think it should be changed. I do, however, see a sequel to it in the cards. You're not actually rewriting your debut novel, are you? Leave it as is. It's part of your legacy and is solid to your debut as an author. It's the point from where you grew in your craft, branched out, created the Shadows series. Leave the foundation alone. It's strong in its own right. Don't change history, my friend.

Doris James MizBejabbers from Beautiful South on April 13, 2021:

Bill, that was a breathtaking beginning of a story you wrote as a challenge. Your writing has so matured since I've been following you on HP for (so many years) how long I don't actually remember. I think your wife is right. When you finish rewriting your first novel in that particular series, I will buy it. Your earlier writing was too gritty and a downer for me. I love it when you became the philosopher.

A series. I used to think a series was a way of keeping a book from being too long, not a planned trap to keep people buying, but what do I know. For example, years ago I read a fiction book that was about 1500 pages long. Frankly, I got tired of reading it, but I wouldn't quit it before I finished. Now I look forward to the little breaks in the story between books in a series.

Back to "because". I'm a southerner, so I would used dialect here to drag out "becawwz". LOL

Still enjoying this great weather. How about you?

Misbah from The Planet Earth on April 13, 2021:

I am trying it again Sir as you are online. Mr. Bill, I always feel very happy whenever I read your Writer's mailbag. What should I say about Sufferings? I believe sufferings are the real thing that makes us a strong person. Everyone in life suffers as Manatita use to say, “Every soul has its own sufferings". So true, isn’t it? You are an inspiration to many here including me.

I love the rewrite a novel question, in there you mentioned that you are doing it to make your wife happy, this is so sweet. You give her respect and love and she too loves you, forget about griefs, they are never-ending, every phase of life comes with new obstacles. Enjoy the present moment with your loved ones.

I would love to mention few lines from Maher Zain's song here,

"Dark clouds they come and they go all the time

My eyes on the prize so I pay them no mind

And always give it my best

Say I gotta get up and get on my way

Leave the negativity way behind me

Say I'll never settle for less”

I use to listen to this song a lot of times day, this song keeps me motivated. I am not sure if you love to hear music but if you do, please listen to this one.

May God Bless you and your family with everlasting happiness and joy. Ameen!!

Peace and Sending Prayers

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on April 13, 2021:

I love it, Heidi!

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on April 13, 2021:

I love it, Mr. Happy!

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on April 13, 2021:

Sometimes there is a delay which can be as much as a day, Misbah. No worries! Your comment made it. Thanks so much for trying to hard to send it.

Peace and blessings always

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on April 13, 2021:

And I thank you, Alyssa! I always appreciate you taking the time to visit.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on April 13, 2021:

Heidi, I love your ranting. Carry on, my friend.

I'm actually taking a different approach while rewriting this novel for my wife. I had to do that or I wouldn't have done it. I would have been bored to tears with the process if I didn't change it up.

So there!!! lol

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on April 13, 2021:

That really is strange, Dora. I have no explanation. I believe it happened, and it is remarkable. I think there are so many things we do not understand. It's all very fascinating to me, those things I don't understand.

Anyway, Happy Tuesday, my friend.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on April 13, 2021:

Thank you Brenda. I have found that the only way for me to rewrite that novel, and make it interesting for me, is to change it a bit, so this attempt is a different storyline about halfway through.

Happy Tuesday to you!

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on April 13, 2021:

Thanks so much, Bill! If I have a gift, it had to come from some Higher Power. I'm as surprised as anyone that I can write reasonably well.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on April 13, 2021:

Oh my God, Linda, I went out to do weeding yesterday, and after a half-hour on the ground, I could barely get up. These next few days are not going to be fun at all. lol

Happy Tuesday, my friend, and thank you! Love that sunshine!

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on April 13, 2021:

I do it all the time, Mr. Happy! No biggie!

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on April 13, 2021:

Mr. Happy, I think I've "talked" more to you than my wife the last two days. lol Forget about those roosters; they don't know what they are saying anyway. :) Peace my friend!

Mary Norton from Ontario, Canada on April 13, 2021:

This particular mailbag hit me personally. My best childhood friend named Belinda died of Covid and I am still grieving over my husband. But, we move on. I really enjoy the opening you wrote. I wish I can find just the words to describe what's happening.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on April 13, 2021:

Thank you for your thoughts, Chitrangada Sharan. I hope this finds you well in India. Stay safe, my friend.

Heidi Thorne from Chicago Area on April 13, 2021:

You're welcome, Mr. Happy! Good luck with what you're writing!

Mr. Happy from Toronto, Canada on April 13, 2021:

Wow - thank You to Mrs. Thorne for that "expressive lengthening" mention. Brilliant!! Thank You very, very much! That was brilliant: a "correct answer" to my question. So nice : )

FlourishAnyway from USA on April 13, 2021:

Stage theories in psychology like the Kubler-Ross Model of Grief are often wildly popular but aren't strongly supported by research. You seem to hone in on this. Bill, I'm sorry about the loss of your father and the impact his loss has had on you.

Devika Primić from Dubrovnik, Croatia on April 13, 2021:

Hi Bill grief doesn't last and gets easier over time. You sued are skills and gave us a wonderful hub. Grief never goes away one just needs to focus on other parts of their lives to feel better again.

Misbah from The Planet Earth on April 12, 2021:

Mr. Bill, I am trying to send you a comment on this article but don't know why it's not appearing. I have tried 4 times. It says the comment is submitted but I can see it's not appearing. If this one reach you. Please check your spam comments folder maybe it went in spam folder.

God Bless you always, Amen!

Peace

manatita44 from london on April 12, 2021:

You know I agree with you almost every time bro. I wrote a piece you probably read. It's called No Guide to Grief and says what you're saying. I know folks with children long gone who are still grieving. Yes, it's necessary too, says my Guru ji. Apparently grief helps us.

That was a brilliant start to your story and it tied in with the end so beautifully! They cemented themselves like the moon and stars ... like dawn and daylight. Chuckle. Peace.

Mel Carriere from Snowbound and down in Northern Colorado on April 12, 2021:

You had me at Raven-hair and Green Eyes. That's a lethal combination. Question, was she wearing a covid mask or not? I'm seeing a lot of raven hair green eyes lately that once they lift the mask it kills the vibe. The Pandemic has been a blessing for some.

I'm kind of fond of killing off my characters, so I don't think there will be too many sequels in my writing future. Which begs the question, how many sequels are as good as the original, or should well enough just be left alone,?

Great stuff.

Alyssa from Ohio on April 12, 2021:

I agree, Bill, I think grief is more circular. With time, it gets easier.. until a wave hits you, that is.

Aside from that, thank you for another wonderful mailbag installment. I hope you have a lovely week!

Heidi Thorne from Chicago Area on April 12, 2021:

Happy Mailbag Monday before it becomes Tuesday!

Re: Stages of Grief. I do think there is a process to processing grief that may take weeks, months, or years. But after many years, is it grief or simply remembrance? I think continuing to focus on the loss detracts us from any positive memories of what or who we lost.

Re: Writing Sounds "Because." This question has been rolling around in the Mailbag for a while now. I have to question why the worry? Write it as "because." The only time I would suggest going through the trouble to emphasize the sounds would be in dialogue. For example:

"And you want to do it that way becaaaause..."

There's actually a term for this, coined by Tyler Schnoebelen, a linguist from Stanford. It's called "expressive lengthening." Here's his blog post on it:

https://corplinguistics.wordpress.com/2013/01/08/a...

I learned about this in an amazing book on how the internet has changed language, titled "Because Internet," by Gretchen McCulloch.

Hope that helps close the question.

Re: Standalone or Series. My concern with authors who toy with the idea of a series is that they will not make the inaugural book feel complete for the reader. They'll justify that by saying they'll answer all the reader's questions in the next book. Then there's no next book because the author realizes how difficult it is to make money from self publishing. So they leave their readers hanging and unsatisfied. I say make the first book a winner, then decide if it's worth a series.

Re: Rewrite a Novel? Why? This question actually came up on social media recently, too. Other than to make some corrections for clarity, typos, etc., leave it alone. You're telling your readers that you didn't think it was good enough and that you're embarrassed of your early work. This is like if Picasso said, "Yuck, that Blue Period stuff I did, trash that junk. No, wait, I'm gonna paint something better right over it." Some readers might even be ticked you changed it because they loved it as it was.

People understand that you grow as an artist and a writer. Quit trying to perfect your past!

If you insist on rewriting it, make it a retelling of the original story. Maybe from a different POV? Or write a new book with the same characters, location, etc.

Okay, I've ranted enough for a Monday. Have a great week!

Dora Weithers from The Caribbean on April 12, 2021:

Bill, talking about grief, I wanted to say that the strangest thing happened to me, but on second thought, it may not be that strange. My friend passed and I inherited some window curtains. I hung them for the first time, and the scent of the hospital room overwhelmed me, though the curtains had never been there. The grief came back as powerful as ever. It really doesn't leave completely.

Thanks for the lessons in your answers this week.

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on April 12, 2021:

Bill,

Your work goes to the discover pages rather quickly, but luckily I found this in the feed.

It's nice to know someone else's brain drifts off on tangents.

I often recall a moment and shed a tear. I believe it's a normal process.

I love your introduction for "premonition."

There is no way this is going to turn out well! I think we've all wished we had listened to that little voice, but we don't.

I think it's great to do a series. Your character are there & you can grow on their journey.

I have rewritten poems and short stories and I often find myself with a clearer view after time has passed.

I can only imagine how time staking it will be to rewrite an entire novel.

I wish you the best.

Have a great week.

Bill De Giulio from Massachusetts on April 12, 2021:

Hi Bill. Nice mailbag. I have found that grief, while it does fade, is always there and shows up when I least expect it. We all handle grief in our own way and for some it can be debilitating, which is sad. Your intro to the premonition prompt is amazing, you really do have a gift. Have a great week, Bill.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on April 12, 2021:

Thanks so much, Peggy! The trellis doesn't look bad considering it was built by a non-carpenter. I barely know what I'm doing when building things, but I love the challenge. lol

Have a great week, and thank you for your kind words.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on April 12, 2021:

Only brilliant, Ann, because of people like you. Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad you liked my little writing exercise. And thank you for sharing about your parents. I find comfort in knowing I'm not the only one to experience those waves of occasional grief.

Have a fabulous week, my friend, and thanks again.

bill

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on April 12, 2021:

Gyanendra Mocktan, thank you for sharing your personal experience. I am sorry for your grief, my friend. May you find happiness and contentment soon.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on April 12, 2021:

Good to see ya, Shannon!

Intros are the easiest for me, too, and my favorite way to practice my craft.

Happy April to you!

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on April 12, 2021:

Thank you, Mary, for sharing your thoughts on grief. It's a fascinating topic for me, and it was interesting to read your thoughts on it.

Have a fabulous week, my friend!

Linda Lum from Washington State, USA on April 12, 2021:

Good morning Bill, and what a beautiful morning it is. Last year I did no gardening at all. I blame Covid (actually, that's become the default excuse for anything negative, hasn't it?). That will NOT happen in 2021. I'm cramming flowers into every nook and cranny of the yard and my spirits are soaring (while my knees are sore-ing).

Your response to the one word was great. Now, I want the rest of the novel please.

Looking forward to the 2nd edition of 12/59.

Thanks for my Monday pick-me-up. Now I'm ready to tackle the day. Have a wonderful week my friend. They're talking 70 by Friday.

Mr. Happy from Toronto, Canada on April 12, 2021:

P.S.P.S. I got the names wrong. Haha! That was Mrs. Mary Wikison who mentioned the rooster thing. My bad, sorry.

Mr. Happy from Toronto, Canada on April 12, 2021:

"Have you given yourself that opportunity by the way you ended the novel?" - So, You mentioned that: "I made that decision after writing “Shadows Kill". Did You by chance make room for that "opportunity" for a sequel then? (Since You made the decision "after" You finished writing the book?)

Thank You for giving thought to that "because". It is not easy. It's been on my mind for weeks now. Nobody wants to see a "bacaause" lmao See ... sometimes we are forced to get creative and that's how I ended-up with a colon after a "because". Haha!!

“The 12/59 Shuttle From Yesterday To Today,” - So, is that going to be marketed as a 2nd Edition copy? Or, do You change the title on it? How does that work? I know non-fiction people just put 2nd Revised Edition, or something like that. Professors do that all the time: change a chapter, or a few paragraphs and suddenly, they published a new book (not really new but it forces kids to buy it and thus, it works for the profs).

Okay, thanks for the Monday fun. Keep on writing - cheers!

P.S. And yes, roosters do not go: "cock a doodle doo" - that is a terible failure of the English language. Thank You to Mrs. Shannon.

Chitrangada Sharan from New Delhi, India on April 12, 2021:

Hello Bill!

Great mailbag, with nice questions and your responses are excellent, especially to Robert' s challenge!

Regarding grief-- Each one has a different way to deal with it! One has to come to terms with it and move on in life!

Thank you for sharing another wonderful mailbag, and wishing you a happy week!

Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on April 12, 2021:

Grief seems to lessen over time. At least, that is my experience. As Ann wrote, it becomes less raw. But memories can last forever, and with those, sadness over loss can happen no matter how much time has passed.

Your response to the prompt premonition sounds like the start of another great book you should tackle. You certainly know how to capture a reader's interest quickly!

I always look forward to reading your mailbag articles. Your trellis is looking great, by the way!

Ann Carr from SW England on April 12, 2021:

I agree that grief is circular, albeit less raw as it goes on, at least most of the time. My parents (usually individually) 'wash' over me when I least expect them to, sometimes in the middle of the night, for apparently no reason - maybe it's them just reminding me who I am! I just go with the flow and usually a few tears, and I find it cleansing.

Love your answer to Robert's challenge! You are such a talented writer, to come up with such as that when put on the spot. I was on the edge of my seat as soon as you opened the door.

Edition 356! And this series is still as fresh as when you began. Brilliant!

Ann

gyanendra mocktan from Kathmandu,Nepal on April 12, 2021:

Bill, I have the experience of grief for many years.

I have no idea was it linear or circular, I have been through it.

I had never compromised with the opinion that my younger brother had committed suicide.

I did not act violently and openly oposed the opinion.

I knew it was a murder. Finally, file moved up from the police station to the higher court after 28 years.

So, I know what grief is. But still I don't how to overcome it. But these days I am not grief ridden.

Thank you.

Shannon on April 12, 2021:

Oh....Rare chance I get to comment, lately. I see what you're saying about the linear stages of grief, but as I read, I also thought about how it comes in stages and people can regress to stages they've already covered. In that sense, it is still linear. Hmm.....the things you make me ponder! LOL

I loved your acceptance of the challenge. For me, openings are the easiest. It's keeping the interest after that point that is more challenging for me, particularly with longer stories.

Have a good week!

Mary Wickison from Brazil on April 12, 2021:

I'd say you met Robert's challenge!

Like Mr. Happy, I've often wondered about how to write sounds. Still, I've never heard a rooster's crow sound like, 'cock a doodle doo .'

I think the experience of grief varies from person to person. Some people never seem to move out of the depression stage. I often wonder if they like to be miserable. Perhaps they are comfortable in what they know.

Have a great week.

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