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The Whisper That Became a Roar

the-whisper-that-became-a-roar

My life with you was stagnant and sad

Seeing your anger, most everything made you mad

The evil energy in the house one could cut with a knife

Living with you was so oppressive devoid of any light

I tried to hide it from the children, but to no avail

They saw your violence, and watched your spit sail

You held them captive so I would go mad

You coward, somehow you rationalized it would not make our kids sad

Your yelling was penetrating, we thought it would never end

Through the roof, our nerves you would send

Your words were so confusing, I got dizzy and felt like I was in hell,

You would follow me around the house, I finally fell

The letter of our demise shown to our kids

I only found it accidentally and hid

You were planning at Christmas to blow us away

Our daughter only three told me in dismay

Mom, why does dad say we'll die on Christmas and then all come back?

I slept in their rooms, both of my kids, for weeks on my back

I tried ever so hard to act calm for you

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When your older, you'll understand why mom felt so blue

Once the judge ordered him out it got worse

He would creep up behind me and suddenly lurch

Why are you afraid he would say with a grin?

You have fear issues and why are you so paranoid, and lift up my chin

He would trance like, hypnotize the kids and put them on the table

His eyes would glass over, and to move they were not able

Till I told him I would film him and show a judge for to see

He'd say I had skeletons in the closet and the judge would take them from me

I acted calm as if I were not afraid, of the one thing I could not lose

My beautiful children, the best thing I have ever done

My treasured daughter and my son

I can't believe I used to love this monster, who was he?

The judge moved him out of the house, But we had paid a grand fee

Remember when you'd follow me on the steps of our room, you would tell and pronounce to me, I had chest pain, that I was having a heart attack, God I had to leave

You kept coming at me till I had to run out of the house just to breathe

My God I believed you, You scared the life out of me,

I could not talk, nor think straight, My legs felt like they would fall from underneath,like spaghetti,

You used to seem beautiful, not ugly and even your face,

My therapist claimed, this is the worst classic case

I am not bitter

I am free

I am so happy

My life right now is for my kids, not me

You taught me a lot

What to look out for

My soft whisper has now become a roar

A wolf in sheep's clothing, but now I have my life back,

God has healed us, our lives are on track

Freedom oh sweet freedom, I do so love you

Thanks to all those that helped me through this, you were my strength and my glue,

I have my life back now, I thank you for loving me

Life is a gift, peace is what we now see

Thank you God for letting me have the courage to leave the strife

Not much can bother me now, I feel so grateful, and the world is our oyster, This is our new life!!!

You taught me a lot

What to look out for

My once soft whisper, Is forever a loud roar

WeeeeeeeeeHeeeee


© Laura Rogers Arne




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Comments

Barbara Radisavljevic from Templeton, CA on August 24, 2014:

Beautifully expressed. I'm glad you got free. So many don't.

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on January 02, 2014:

Leni

Thanks for the comment. We are all doing great now.

Leni Sands from UK on December 20, 2013:

Bless you for finding the strength to escape from this brutality - so many of us don't know the real person we love until it is too late. The poem, in truth, is a credit to your resilience. Here's hoping that the healing for you and your children continues.

Denise Handlon from North Carolina on December 19, 2013:

No one deserves to go through what you have. I'm glad you are free of him and I hope the children are healing as well. It is frightening how manipulative people, like the sociopath you married, can be. It is remarkable how suddenly they change...all the while blaming others when things don't go right.

I'm so glad you are away from this relationship, however, I hope you have had plenty of guidance to understand the process and 'quiet submission' that goes on when we are 'wooed' by someone as sick as this man.

Happy holidays. I was entranced by your poem. UP/U

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on April 15, 2013:

Your words are so sweet. I am so happy this helped you. God Bless You.

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on April 15, 2013:

AngelaFaith

Your words are so sweet. I am so happy this story helped you.

AngelaFaith on February 16, 2012:

That beautiful smile on your face says it all. Thank God for your freedom. You are a CATALYST. You have no idea what you have done for me. Thank you dear Laura. Thank you...

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on September 12, 2011:

Jean

I love the power animal info. I am so glad you liked this.

Jean Bakula from New Jersey on September 09, 2011:

It was so brave to write this piece, although it must have brought back such pain for you. It's positive to pour out all that pain on paper. In metaphysics classes I've taken, sometimes they ask you what your power animal is, as we all have angels and guides in our lives. I guess your power animal is the Lion, and I'm so happy you are roaring! Bless you.

Erica Sanchez from California on September 09, 2011:

Its the best, and knowing that no one can ever take that from you ever. ;)

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on September 09, 2011:

Bella,

So happy for you too. Isn't freedom awesome?

Blessings

Healing touch on September 09, 2011:

QudsiaP1

Thanks so very much.

QudsiaP1 on September 09, 2011:

This left me speechless, so powerful, so strong, remarkably done!

Erica Sanchez from California on September 09, 2011:

Healing touch, Praise the lord you are out I know this story oh so well. This was my life this was your life lets rejoice and be happy that we are no longer held captive to this insanity. Thank you for letting this out and letting it go I know talking about this subject is not the easiest but it makes one feel better.

Smiles and hugs

bella

Sun-Girl from Nigeria on August 27, 2011:

Wow, i so much love this piece of work. Nice piece of work.Cheers

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on August 01, 2011:

Wayne

Thanks so very much.

tonzofkids on August 01, 2011:

Just found your hubs. I am very excited to read more. Thank you for sharing. I wish I could not relate so well to your poem. Hooray for you!

Martie Coetser from South Africa on June 22, 2011:

Healing Touch – Too many men in this world is incompetent husbands and fathers - truly a major problem. The mother instinct of women forces them to grow (emotionally), much faster than men. Just a thought: In the far past the responsibility to provide for and to protect women and children force men to grow, but since the 2nd World War women help men with this task, earning bread as hard, if not harder, taking the responsibility off men's shoulders. Could this perhaps be the reason why most boys never become the men they should be? Aaaa, there are too many possible reasons. I’m soooo glad you are free and happy. I’m roaring with you.

Gail Sobotkin from South Carolina on June 20, 2011:

You are so much more than a survivor-- you are a thriver; a beautiful person and spirit who is prospering and thriving against all odds. God bless you for finding a support group and therapist and doing what you had to do to keep your kids and yourself sane and safe.

Wayne Brown from Texas on June 20, 2011:

Amen! WB

Marc Woodard from Portland, Oregon on May 21, 2011:

Right on Point! Keep spreading the word in the way you do it. Your rewards await you;]

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on May 20, 2011:

Woodamarc

thanks so much for reading this. God is good.

Marc Woodard from Portland, Oregon on April 21, 2011:

Stay positive, trust in God for your happiness and everything else good in life will follow. Very nice hub and inspirational. I'm now following you.

Healing touch on April 04, 2011:

skellie

Thanks so much for the blessings. Life is so sweet now. I am so glad you stopped by

Skellie from Adelaide on April 04, 2011:

I felt every word, had chills up my spine. It is so hard, fighting that sort of evil. Bless you and your children, for finding the strength. Enjoy the freedom, you have all so rightly earnt :D

Awesome and up

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on April 02, 2011:

Ask_DJ_Lyons

I am so glad you made your escape too. God is good.

Ask_DJ_Lyons from Mosheim, Tennessee on April 02, 2011:

Amazing! I spent nine months once with a violent man until I made my escape. This was one of those less-than-wise rebound marriages. He sounds like a puppy compared to the vicious dog you describe. Your roar would move mountains. God bless you and your courage to keep you and your children safe. God is so good!

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on March 31, 2011:

Fay Paxton

Thanks so much for rating this.

Healing touch on March 31, 2011:

DexisView,

Thanks so much for the uplifting comments. Kids are the best and we parents will do whatever it takes.

Fay Paxton on March 31, 2011:

Inspirational words from a survivor. Excellent poem.

Rated up/beautiful

Dexi from New England on March 29, 2011:

Healing Touch, You are a strong woman. Our kids are our gifts for many reasons. Isn't amazing the strength we find for them. Glad you made it out in one piece.

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on March 07, 2011:

theseus

Thanks for stopping by. Make sure that when your with someone, you pay attention. Red flags I should have seen. You will be fine. Blessings.

theseus from philippines on March 07, 2011:

What an inspiring hub.Thank you for sharing your experience.

Though I always pray that the same may not happen to me when I marry, I just hope that even if it does, may I have the courage and the strength to do what you did. Thank you.God bless you and your kids. They are blessed to have you and I am sure they appreciate it.

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on March 07, 2011:

Spirit Whisperer,

Thanks so much for your support. I appreciate the follow too.

Xavier Nathan from Isle of Man on March 07, 2011:

Thank you for sharing so selflessly your personal experiences.It takes great courage to come through what you have and to become a better person for it is a tribute to your character. Well done! Voted up and awesome!

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on March 06, 2011:

Darknlovely

Thanks for the uplift. Glad your here.

Annie from NewYork on March 06, 2011:

great hub, profound keep what you do best,

Healing Touch on February 07, 2011:

leabeth

I am so happy you are strong. I too have become so strong. Hugs back to

leabeth on February 07, 2011:

Thank you for your sad but lovely poem. Many years ago I also escaped from a 5 year marriage with mental abuse. From this ordeal I became a strong person and would not allow anyone to step on me anymore. Hugs Galore!

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on January 18, 2011:

aslanlight

I am so happy that your life is full of peace too. Hope is such powerful medicine.

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on January 18, 2011:

Enlydia Listener

Thanks for the uplifting comments. Blessings back to you. Life is good

aslanlight from England on January 17, 2011:

From one lioness to another, Kudos! I've also overcome the horrors of domestic violence and life couldn't be more beautiful now with just me and my son. Thanks for sharing it; it's important to give hope to others in these situations.

Enlydia Listener from trailer in the country on January 15, 2011:

I echoe the words of others...chilling, captivating in its fear level...thankful for our ysurvival...appalled by the evil possibility you escaped...amazed by your recovery...and yet you still dream about it. Blessings

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on January 12, 2011:

Poogranma

I really appreciate the comments. Sorry you had to see this darkness too. I don't ever think a mother can ever get over the sheer pain of all of it. God Bless you

Poohgranma from On the edge on January 12, 2011:

Thank-you for following me because through your act, I was brought here and to your writings. Isn't it funny how life brings us where we need to be?

I had the closest thing to a flashback as I've had in years just now reading your poem.

"You held them captive so I would go mad

You coward, somehow you rationalized it would not make our kids sad"

To say that I understand this is the understatement of the century. It was like watching someone hold a gun to their heads or a knife to their throats and being a dancing puppet, praying I made the right moves to gain his attention - away from them and to me. All the while his manner was disguised to them and they thought me insane, never realizing how much danger they were in. ack - chills - I thought this was all out of my system but apparently I may need a little more work.

Your work here and the work you did in freeing yourself and your children is nothing short of magnificent!

Healing touch on December 19, 2010:

Bel Marshall. Thanks for your most loving comments. Bless you as well.

Bel Marshall from Michigan on December 19, 2010:

This gave me chills. God bless you and your children. You protected your babies and that is what good mothers do.

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on November 24, 2010:

awesome77

Wow, I am truly humbled by your amazing comments here. I really appreciate you coming by.

awesome77 on November 20, 2010:

You know, You will make a great writer! I like your writing style, it brings the audience or readers close to the event! Truthfully, you have the style and talent to give us a great novel! Great job! I am a fan now.

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on November 18, 2010:

Laurie,

I am so happy that you too are a survivor. I am so sorry of your latest loss as I read your bio. I am so glad to follow you. We can help eachother in sister support.

LaurieDawn on November 18, 2010:

Healing Touch,

What a beautiful haunting story your words tell. I am glad you are free, I am glad you are a survivor. I am glad that you are here to tell your tale, and help others with your courage. Thank you, your words touched me. I too am a survivor, and thank you for sharing those touching moments.

Blessings,

Laurie

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on November 07, 2010:

Phyllis Doyle,

I am so glad you read my poem on abuse. Thanks for the peace that you sent us. Bless you

Phyllis Doyle Burns from High desert of Nevada. on November 05, 2010:

Healing Touch - Up and awesome! I salute you for finding the courage to ROAR! and for being a survivor. May you and your children always walk in peace and harmony.

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on October 11, 2010:

Pollyannalana,

Hi Pollyannalana,

I am so not in danger now. Thanks for the care. All is in place now for all of us.

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on October 11, 2010:

Sage, how beautiful is your comment. Thanks so much for stopping by. Aloha back to you

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on October 11, 2010:

Micky Dee,

Thanks for sharing your experience. Men and women go through this stupid hell.

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on October 11, 2010:

Epigramman,

I caught your hug. Thanks so much. I am great now, hear me roarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Pollyannalana from US on October 05, 2010:

I hope you are sure you are not still in danger, some monsters only want the worst for you at any risk. Protect yourself if so.

Sa`ge from Barefoot Island on October 05, 2010:

Beautiful job, you are beautiful through and through, You go girl, you go! :D aloha Dear aloha

Micky Dee on October 05, 2010:

I've been in the same situation facing the same thing. My heart goes out. God bless!

epigramman on October 05, 2010:

..gee this is a real tough one to read ..... I wish I could come through this screen right now and give you a big hug ......

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on September 28, 2010:

vinividivici,

I agree with you on this. Too bad some children have been taught to be angry. Thanks for stopping by

vinividivici on September 27, 2010:

I believe in`Receive the children in reverence; educate them in love; let them go forth in freedom.' But for some children all are cruel, unhealthy.

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on September 27, 2010:

phoenixflameangel,

I am so happy that you feel the freedom now. Life is so great and we should not waste one moment of it on low consciousness, angry partners. I look back now and cannot believe the fear and stress that kept me down for so many years. Words do hurt, sticks and stones will break my bones and words definately CAN HURT

I am so proud you can see to the joyous other side. Please write your experience with abuse because I want to see it and I know how healing it is.

Thanks for stopping by

phoenixflameangel on September 26, 2010:

Only 3 months out of my relationship now and I am grateful for so many things on a daily basis - I will never take anything for granted again. The last 2 of the 7 years were the worst. It's been 3 months since I last got called useless/ idiot/ stupid, 3 months since I was asked 'do you want me to break your nose?', 'do you want me to smash your face in?'. Reading your words has inspired me to want to get my experiences out there too - mainly to highlight the reality of there being life on the other side. We are truly blessed to have survived and gained strength through survival xxx

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on September 09, 2010:

Carolina Muscle,

Thanks for reading my poem about my ugly life with a monster. It is amazing, as lastnight after being away from him for eight years, I dreamdt he killed me. Ugh

carolina muscle from Charlotte, North Carolina on September 08, 2010:

wow... you captured some raw emotion here!!!

Outstanding.

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on August 28, 2010:

Prasetio,

I do so appreciate your humble nature. Thanks for the nice comment. I really have lots to learn from you also.

Healing touch

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on August 28, 2010:

Akycrawler,

I really appreciate your comment. As for the good write, it is funny because, I did not even have to think, it just spewed out of me. I was so inspired by a poem that beth 100 wrote, that I thought, well, perhaps I could write of my own misery in the past

Glad to follow you.

Healing touch

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on August 28, 2010:

SweetSusieG,

Thanks so much for reading my poem. Trust me, my voice now is heard many times over, ask my kids. I am not afraid of anything or anyone and I feel so comfortable voicing my opinion. Thanks for the great comments.

Healing touch

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on August 28, 2010:

Kavita,

Thanks so much for reading this hub. Sorry I made you cry. Life is great now. We are all so darn happy.

Healing touch

prasetio30 from malang-indonesia on August 28, 2010:

Very inspiring. I really appreciate how you survive in this life. I have to learn much from you. Thank you very much.

akycrawler on August 28, 2010:

Fantastic!! Im at a loss for words. Very good writing.

Sweetsusieg from Michigan on August 27, 2010:

I must tell you, poetry has never been my 'thing' but this gave me goosebumps! I am sorry that you had to go through pain. Being abused is something we will always carry within, yet it can make us stronger. You are a strong person for having not only survived it, but being able to speak about it. No, not speak, YELL about it and let your voice be heard! What a great poem and the strength behind it! God Bless you!!

Kavita Kapoor from London on August 27, 2010:

I read this and cried.

You are truly such a courageous woman

PS: thansk for joining my fan club :)

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on August 27, 2010:

Kaie,

I am so with you on how we just believed in humanity. I could not believe that someone who said they loved me and was the father to my beautiful kids could treat me worse than dirt. I agree it was our strenght that kept us there and not that we were not weak.I try to let people know that it is so hard to define it at first. I do know he did not kill my spirit. I am back way better than before.

So glad to know we are both survivors.

Bless you

Healing touch

Kaie Arwen on August 26, 2010:

I just want you to know that I was right there with you............ and here we are. The thought that someone once wanted me dead still has the power to rattle me; saving grace came from the knowledge that he didn't have enough power over me to do it.

I remember the threats, and I remember the hovering............ the bully stance that made me squirm. Memories of absolute terror, and the eventual realization that I really couldn't continue believing that he wouldn't do exactly what he said he'd do. Some call it foolishness, some call it stupidity, and me.......... I just call it the belief in human goodness, I know you understand............ that's who we are.

So many people don't know who we are. They see the mother in us; they see what they want to see, and often think "no way, not her." They don't understand that it wasn't weakness that kept us locked away in the prison of an abusive marriage; it was the inner strength that kept us there........... you can't survive with it. Sister......... we survived. God has blessed us both............ Kaie

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on August 26, 2010:

MT, thanks for the message. Love is all.

Healing touch

Linda Rogers from Minnesota on August 26, 2010:

Oh sweet sister. You know I would do anything for you and it is not necessary to figure out why I got the big C. Love is all that matters. Hugs

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on August 26, 2010:

K9keystrokes,

Thanks so much for your beautiful words. Yes, I know fear and I now know freedom. Your right, you can hear me roar.

I am glad Minnetonkatwin told me to follow you.

Healing touch

India Arnold from Northern, California on August 26, 2010:

Wow. Your eyes have seen much within his pools of rage. Nothing offers more appreciation for life than finding the will to live and live with courage. My heart weeps at the concept of your fear, and rejoyces at the knowledge of your freedom. What a retchid, retchid man. I think I can hear you roar from here Healing Touch...

I am honored to have your words to read~

~Always choose love~

K9

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on August 26, 2010:

Dear Minnetonka Twin,

I know the stress my marriage put on you. I am sorry if I was partly to blame for your cancer. I love you so much and know you say that is ridiculous cuz family sticks together. Thanks for loving me enough to fight with me.

Healing touch

Linda Rogers from Minnesota on August 25, 2010:

Those were very dark and scary days. He sure didn't like me around because I saw who he was and wasn't emotionally involved as you were. I thank God Every Day that you had the courage to leave this evil man.

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on August 24, 2010:

Dear Beth 100,

You are the one who inspired me to write this down. Thanks so much for the support. Hugs back to you.

Healing touch

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on August 24, 2010:

Cheeky girl,

Thanks so much for your wonderful feedback. You will never know what it means to me.

Healing touch

Beth100 from Canada on August 24, 2010:

Healing Touch,

You and I -- we have lived lives that are so similar. I am proud of you for finding the strength, the courage and the love for yourself and your children to leave. I am extremely happy for you and your children that you have begun a fresh, happy and peaceful life.

It is difficult to write, yet it is healing. Thank you for writing this. This will inspire someone to think about their relationship. Maybe this will provide the catalyst for their change.

{{{HUGS}}}

Beth

Cassandra Mantis from UK and Nerujenia on August 23, 2010:

There is something very awe inspiring about this and yes, I agree the "Lioness" comments is apt. A brave hub on a sensitive subject.

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on August 23, 2010:

LivingFood,

Thanks so much for your comment. So glad to be happy again.

Healing touch

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on August 23, 2010:

dallas93444,

Your right. It is a process. Thanks for stopping by.

Healing touch

LivingFood on August 23, 2010:

What a beautiful yet sad poem...but with a happy ending. Great share..

Dallas W Thompson from Bakersfield, CA on August 22, 2010:

Thanks for sharing! It is a process...

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on August 22, 2010:

garynew,

No your right, but I did learn so much about myself, wht is important to me, and gratitude.

Thanks for stopping by.

Healing touch

garynew from Dallas, TX and Sampran, Thailand on August 22, 2010:

Now wasn't it worth going thru all that just so you could write this great poem? (I'm guessing "NO!").

Lori J Latimer from Central Oregon on August 22, 2010:

Glad you survived! :0)

Laura Arne (author) from Minnetonka, MN on August 22, 2010:

Dear Lillygrillzit

Thanks so much for your kind words. A lioness huh? I rather like that.

Thanks so much for stopping by. My domestic group I was in during this called my life, "The Friday night horror life". I remember back then, thinking they were being dramatic. Wow, Have I come far.

Healing touch

Lori J Latimer from Central Oregon on August 22, 2010:

You are a Mighty Lioness, A Great Healer, Woman and Mother! Bless You, The Very Best to You and Yours! Thank you for sharing your tale of Terror! I love the Dixie Chicks Video you included, I am listening as i comment. Peace

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