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The Story of Jerry Escargot

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Jerry's Self Portrait

Jerry Escargot, the famous poet

Jerry Escargot, the famous poet

Jerry Escargot loved to compose epic poems; though his chums giggled when they ogled him. He tries everything from applesauce to mayonnaise to make his hair grow but nothing happens. Lastly, he touches on this pressing issue! Then all of a sudden he devises an eloquent way to serve his class a French delicacy. His class falls in love with his little French surname translated, "Snail Boy".

Jerry Escargot was a good-natured, gentle boy, tall and scrawny with strong legs. He loved his family and friends, and excelled in basketball, though he had a problem. No matter what he did, his hair on his golden crown would not grow.

He tested all sorts of products from mayonnaise to applesauce, but nothing ever seemed to happen. He reasoned he would be the only hairless kid in school; hence, he wore stylish hats to protect his shiny, bald head.

The kids in school thought Jerry Escargot was super witty with his spotted hats, but they dared not question him since they experienced more pleasure rolling around his interesting name.

“What sort of a name is Escargot?’ the inquisitive children inquired.

“I don’t know,” declared Jerry. “It’s only my French surname, and I adore it.”

Was Jerry Escargot a Fashion Doll?

“Sounds like you’ll be a model someday, judging by your height and imposing stance. A fashion agent will certainly change your name to "The Debonair Jerry Esquire" to sell their trendy styles,” stated his buddy, Mike.

“No way, am I ever going to act like a fashion doll with a mellifluous name! I hope to carve a sequel of the great epic poems and be deemed a fine poet, one day, one of high class. However, my Dad keeps talking to me about being a basketball player of a giant city league. And this troubles me.”

“Ouch! Sounds like you have much work to do, convincing your folks about being a poetry story writer, Jerry.”

“I know! My first measure is to cause my parents to read my poetry, but they’re always too busy to notice, I mark elegant, colorful words on a college notepad. They believe I have simply managed my schoolwork when I am in my study. This is when I am actually deeply thinking of descriptive and restorative poetry of epic capacity.”

“Quiet down class, it’s time for your essay assignment. Next week, our school is hosting a dinner for our PTA board. And the principal wants each of you to bring a special dish for the parents of your class, the ones who help in our tutoring program,” announced their writing teacher.

“This sounds amazing; I’ll prepare a snail delicacy,” bellowed Jerry.

Jerry's Snail Farm in the Heart of a French Countryside

For generations, Jerry's family tendered a  quaint snail farm to manufacture an escargot delicacy.

For generations, Jerry's family tendered a quaint snail farm to manufacture an escargot delicacy.

Jerry Prepared Escargot for His Friends

“Yuck, what do you have in mind? You want us to eat slimy snails, Jerry,” echoed the entire class!

“Well, yes! Escargot is my favorite dish! And my family concocted an amazing dish made of garlic, olive oil, cheese and sea salt. This is the reason my name is Escargot; it stands for snail in French.”

“No marvel, you’re so distinct, Jerry. Your name is actually Jerry Snails. And guess what, I hate the sight of gray, slimy snails, they irritate my stomach. You are truly out of your mind if you think everyone in our PTA gathering is ever going to eat a snail dish.”

“You’ll love escargot if you try it, for certain,” asserted Jerry.

Would Jerry's Friends Enjoy Escargot?

"No way, I’ll detest it, Mister Snails!” stated Mike.

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“Please address me by my name, Jerry Escargot.”

“All right, but every time I think of you; I’m going to imagine sticky snails since I learned the true meaning of your name.”

“It’s okay! One day you’ll all come to love French snails, and you’ll plead I make escargot for you every day.”

Jerry Could Not Believe His Ears and Felt Hurt

Jerry went home a bit hurt that day, since his classmates had made fun of his name, especially his best friend Mike, and there was nothing he could do about it. He began to weep, and his Mom ordered him to stop. She directed him to kiss his beautiful visage in the mirror instead, because he was her darling son, and she loved him.

He obeyed and reluctantly kissed his face several times. The second he took away his hat; he dried his tears and noticed a tiny curly hair had popped out of his head on the side.

Jerry Kissed His Face and His Hair Suddenly Grew Back

Jerry could not believe his hair decided to poke his scalp after arduous tries of conditioning his bare head to force his hair to grow. He kissed his face a hundred times to see extra hairs suddenly peering. His excitement bowled over, and he continued to kiss his face until he grew sleepy. After, kissing his visage in the mirror; he miraculously had a broad head of hair. Now, he no longer needed to wear a beaming hat to school to camouflage a bald, bare stance.

Again, everyone gossiped about his soft, silky hair the next school day, and started touching it. Jerry loved this extra dose of attention and whispered under his breath, “You'll all love snails one day.”

Jerry fooled his classmates to eat  snails.

Jerry fooled his classmates to eat snails.

Jerry Found an Eloquent Way for His Chums to Love Snails

The PTA party was an enormous success, and everyone bought in an exclusive dish. Jerry made three plates of snails and pledged it was Swedish meatballs. He pleasantly watched everybody eat with vigor. Each person politely alleged it was the finest tasting meatballs they ate to date.

Innocently, Mike begged Jerry to divulge his secret recipe. Jerry embraced his face with laughter, and whispered, "It was simply snails at a snail's pace and nothing else."

Mike hollered, “You’re incredible, Jerry Escargot, certainly you’ll be a celebrated poet one day!”

Snail Poll

A Snail's Pace Can Be Either Fast OR Slow for Me AND GOD ALMIGHTY

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This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.

© 2012 Sheila Craan

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