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The Man I Ever Loved, I Never Married

Exploring my talent, putting it into use in the literary world for the benefit of humanity and promotion of communication



A middle-aged woman while talking with a group of spinsters in a gathering about the importance of taking care of themselves while they are still single shared the story of her life with them. The story shared with them is shared with me by one of the spinsters who attended the meeting and I have added flesh to some of the words she said to make a short story


Where I Grew Up

I grew up in an area that is called a ghetto in the developing part of the world. My father and mother rented a room and parlour in a building that is called face me I face you. Some do call the building face me I slap you (chuckled) because of so many scenarios that are usually associated with people living in such a building.

My parents give birth to four children and I am the first child, a female. People usually say that my father and mother played a draw game when they are talking about us, the children my parents gave birth to.

This is because we are two females and two males in the hands of our parents.

Our parents tried their best to give us qualitative education that their money could afford for us.

Coupled with the education that they are giving us they try their best in showing us how couples should relate at home.

We often times wish the lives of our parents experience sudden turnaround so that we shall move from ghetto to a place that is better, having a building of our own which will be surrounded by flowers and we shall have fences surrounding our building as the creme-de-la-creme of the society we live in build their houses.

This is one of our wishes as their children but like the adage that says, "if wishes are horses,beggars would ride".

At that age we did not know what income per head meant. We were just thinking and hoping that there would be a miracle that would transform the family's life.


Marriage Terrified Me

Although we enjoyed the companion of our parents and how they are dealing with us we really enjoyed it. I couldn't have enjoyed life as a child better with any other parents other than my parents. They are caring, loving and they understand us their children.

In the building that we lived in, there was this Young couple there, it is the life they were living as couples that made marriage terrifying to me.

The Young Man used to beat his wife as if they never knew each other. He used to beat her mercilessly.

When co-tenants want to intervene they will chase those people away from them. The wife whom her husband has been beating was the one who will be supporting her husband to abuse those people who have come to rescue her from her husband.

Initially people become surprised by this but as time goes on none pitied her again nor meddle in their family matters. This is because the woman has one time said even if he kills him it is none of their business, she was the one who saw him and married him, she wasn't forced on him.

People were saying that's madness, they cannot call that love again.

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Some added that she may have been hypnotized by her husband for such is common here. Some do hypnotize their spouses so that they will not know what they are doing again, they will not be in their right senses again.

This kind of hypnosis is called blind love by some naive persons some other tenants have said.

All of them have agreed to leave them to their ways of life saying that one day her eyes would be opened. By the time her eyes is opened they pray it will not be too late for her then.

For we have heard of people who have died from the complications of intimate partner violence.

Whenever I remembered what the woman is passing through which she has accustomed her life to, I am always afraid of marriage.

Although my family lives in harmony, how sure am I that I shall get someone who has been well brought up?


Interjecting My Thought

One day my mind has been carried away by the thought of how to get a good partner in the future. This stems out of the recent intimate partner violence that happened that day between another co-tenant.

This couple is different from the couple who have been known to be deep necked in the act.

There is no history of an account like this between this couple since they have moved into the building. They have spent three years in the building. For those 3 years nothing like such has happened to them. Everything was going smoothly until that day.

It was a Saturday morning that everyone was at home because that is the weekend and the majority if not all the people living in that building are government workers. It was a full house that day.

What we suddenly heard was slapping and crying from their room.

Older people rushed to their room to know what was happening but to their chagrin they discovered that their doors were locked. They knocked at their door but the door was not opened for anyone yet we kept hearing beating and smashing things inside their rooms.

For fear that they may kill themselves inside the room and everyone would be fed upon by the police when the incident get to them, the door was forced open by the people.

On entering they discovered that different things have been destroyed and their bodies bleeding.

Everything that was asked from them was not answered as they kept looking furiously at each other.

Though they weren't fighting again at this moment, but the damages have been done and they have been seriously wounded.

This sight terrified me as I returned to the living room where my siblings and I used to sleep.

I sat on the long couch subsumed in my thoughts in the total oblivion of my mother's presence.

I did not know that she had been calling me to come and assist her where she was, cooking in the kitchen.

The kitchen is at the rear end of the building with bathrooms and toilets.

It was the noise of the couple that I heard that made me leave her, rushing to the site to see what's happening since the door has been forcefully opened by men living in the building.

I completely forgot what we were doing in the kitchen and after the sight I saw, I just resorted to the living room sunken my head in my palms thinking about what I had seen.

I kept on thinking about them, again, thinking about the couple who normally fight and now these people. Is this how marriage is? Will I get married at all? How will I get a good spouse? All these questions filled my heart that morning not knowing my mother was at the door watching me.

After a few minutes of watching she talk, what were you thinking? I have been calling you all these while.

I readjusted myself replying that I was sorry, I didn't hear you calling.


She Addressed My Fear

We shall see to what is bothering your mind later but for now can you please get up and let us go and finish what we are cooking because your father will soon leave for a meeting, she conclusively said.

I got up from where I was, following her to the kitchen to conclude the meal we had started preparing.

After preparing the meal, dishing it out to my father after he finished his meal, he left for the meeting and then my mother and I started discussing.

She told me not to be afraid or discouraged about getting married. That as a book is that's how it will be addressed.

Although there are indecent people here and there, the way and manner one comports oneself would determine who one will be married to in the future.

She asked me not to despair but to have faith in God for that God who helped her to choose aright and be married to my father despite different people's proposal would also help me in making the right choice when the time comes.

You can and you must definitely not use what you are seeing in this building as a yardstick, that is how all couples are, for of course you know that our own family is different.

After the discussion I knelt down, thanked her for her words. Since this day, I have set my heart on the type of person I shall be married to in the future.

My First Engagement Did Not Last

While in the fourth year in the university I got engaged to a young guy however this dating between us would not last long as we eventually separated after our graduation.

I tried some other guys who I thought were decent but what I found out about them wasn't encouraging therefore, I had to leave them and started hoping for the best in the near future.


Got This Young Man

One day my master sent me to go and buy fuel at the filling station there I met this young man who was joking with the attendants, I was in a hurry because we want to put the fuel in a generator to power the building and make use of the printer.

I told the agent to be snappy about what she was doing.

The Young Man, having seen my face, decided to say some words that kept all of us laughing.

Amidst the laughter he said laughing is good for the body and he wouldn't want me, as beautiful as I am, to look dull anyday and anywhere.

The attendant says, there you come again, it's everyone you don't want to look unhappy but there are instances like that.

That's what I am driving at, there shouldn't be any dull moment nor unhappy moment with us because by doing that we are injuring ourselves the more. Adding that he is not saying we can't meet with those things that would cause us depression but we should not allow it to linger long lest we meet ourselves where we don't want.

The attendant asked where.

He replied you know better where people with psychological imbalances are being kept…

No one prays for that, I replied.

Thank you my sister, he said.

The attendant had sold the fuel into the gallon and I was about to leave. The Young Man asked where I was leaving for I told him my place isn't far. He said he will see me to the place

I didn't turn him down because for him to cool my nerves I see him as a jovial man that one needs in one's company.

While walking to my office we started talking and he told me his house is not far from the place but his office is very far. He told me he would like to know more of me and that was how we exchanged our phone numbers.

Ours was like someone who has been friends for decades for we quickly adapted to each other and had known much about ourselves.

He has also been looking for spouse for a while, since I am single he asks me out.


We Parted

Some months into our relationship he discovers that I don't have time for him. We are in a romantic relationship with the hope of settling down as husband and wife in the future. We need to create time for ourselves, create time to know each other for that's what dating is all about.

I couldn't give him the time he wanted. This is because of the pressure and demands on me in my office.

He couldn't cope with it and he says it is better to separate during courtship than divorce later in future. Adding that even if we get married he doubts if I will have time for him because I looked like a career woman. It's only few of Career women that have happy homes he said

It pained me that he left because we are like siblings.


After we parted he relocated out of the town to another and we couldn't see each other again because I lost his contact.

I was also transferred out of my station to another place as the head of the branch.

It was where I was transferred to that I got someone else though the man is good but he doesn't possess the qualities the man I dated last possess.

Although the man was rich, and was taken care of me very well in monetary terms but he wouldn't want to see me talk with anyone, talking with anyone would attract his wrath.

Since I do not want to incur his wrath I was dancing to his tune.

Later I had to resign from my work to satisfy the man.

The day I was resigning from my work I started thinking that I should have done that for the person I know deep within me that I really loved.

Whenever I remembered that I missed the only One who has touched deeper parts of my feelings and emotions, someone who really loved me and I love because of the job that I eventually left for a man I don't love like him it is always a pain in my heart that has refused to heal up ..

(The End)


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