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The Lingo of B I N G O.

Artist, actor, poet, teacher, songwriter & actor with 4,000 poems & almost 1,000 songs written, performed recorded & published on line.

The tools of winning big or going home minus a hundred or more dollars

Bingo Personal computer game board

Bingo Personal computer game board

Prizes

Prizes

the-lingo-of-b-i-n-g-o
the-lingo-of-b-i-n-g-o
Gettng ready to play BINGO

Gettng ready to play BINGO

Lucky Charms

Lucky Charms

After investing $224.00 for an electronic bingo computer plus an all on paper set of 4 bingo cards per game & early bird & warm ups all promising chances at wi

Of course I will be sitting for a couple of

hours just get a good table and seat

until at long last the game begins. The

room is huge and is usually filled with

folks who are old enough to have

been around way back when

Bingo was first invented.

There are enough canes, walkers

and wheelchairs to support two

three story Nursing homes.

BIngo was first invented in 1503

Imagine that, I never knew it was so

old. It started as a form of a lottery

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in Italy long before the mob, then it

caught on in France and became very

popular in Great Brttian. Instead of

eating fish and chips folks in England

spent their money on fishing for chips.

It became popular in the U.S. in 1778

as a children's game called, "Lotto."

Most of the poeple who attend Bingo have

the front of their tables full of lucky charms.

They swear by them. And they swear even

louder when the charms fail to grant them

a bingo. I have to be honest though, playing

slot machines is a lot faster way to win

money. Nobody is calling every number that

you don't need on your card. You don't have to

sit there and wait for the one number you need

to win at bingo. Just stick a twenty in the slot

push the button twenty times and "Walla!" you

either win or you lose. Far too often someone else

yells annoying loud, "Bingo", twenty numbers or

so after you have been set to get it. This is a sheer

form of mental torture when you are set to win with

one number and it doesn't pop out of the ping

pong ball machine....as if the last caller stuck their

used chewing gum on it in a prior bingo session.

Worst of all it does you no good to pray to God to

magicaly make the number you need appear

even in church bingo. You might meed just one more

number for a fill up to win $3,000.00 dollars but

God is way to busy guilting society into filling up the

plates of al lthe hungry people in the world. He

doesn't have time to make sure you win some cash.

The cacophony of groan and moans and curses and

dabbers being slammed down on table when a bingo

is called is about 30 decibels. Of course this damages

the hearing of a lot of the older folks who won't hear

their numbers called and gives you a better chance

at winning. You sit on hard, metal folding chairs for

hours bent over way to many game cards, giving birth

to millions if not billions of large ink dots all over the

U.S. all for naught. But it has been said that bingo

sharpens your mental accuity with all the thinking and

motor skills you are using. If they could make the

dabber weigh 40 pounds each you might also be able

to lose weight just by playing bingo. aAt least you arms

would get buff. Bingo used to be played beneath a huge

cloud of blue smoke and a cancer ridden atmosphere

but they banned smoking some years ago. Which is

good except that a lot of Bingo parlors closed because

most of the Bingo players liked to smoke. Thousands

just stopped going. They also sell cards that are called

pull tabs. They cost a dollar a piece and folks at bingo

spend hundreds of dollars to buy them. They then pull

back six tabs on each card hoping for a huge cash

prize and usually get a useless piece of colorful

cardboard. Somewhere in all of the landfills across the

United States are literally billions of these cards all

representing lost dreams and cash expended.

Occasionally I have won with one of these pull tabs

sometimes even three or four hundred dollars, but

I usually pull my last twenty out of my wallet and go

home broke. It is all simply the lure of sudden riches.

If I had only invested all of my hard earned money I

spent on bingo into the company that produces pull

tabs, I could quite posiibly be a millionaire. But alas I

am one of many who would rather come up empty most

of the time I pull tabs. My dear mother got me hooked

on bingo when I was old enough to play it. I went with

her to help carry her snacks and drinks and pillows

for her sore butt and her many lucky charms as well

as her HUGE Bingo bag. I was her bingo valet and it

became a family business with five children getting

involved eventually. She actually won enough to pay me

a mere pittance so I tagged along. I will warn you, if

you decide to try bingo be prepared to become addicted

to it. But only if you win. Once you win, you are sucked

into other bingo games much like each ping pong ball

is sucked up through a tube one at a time to call the

next number. You wil learn to envy your nieghbors at

the next table when they win two or three games, and you

will hate that one lady or man who always win while you

are going home broke again. B- stands for Buy,

I- stands for Irratated, N- stands for No money left,

G- stands for Get out before you spend all your

cash and O- is what you yell every time you lose.

But it is fun and full of anticipation right up to the

very last ball called. Anyone on any given day

can win and they do but I am one of those who

who seldom comes out ahead when the chips

are down. The latest additon to bingo is a

computerized game board which I love. It keeps

an accurate track of your numbers and marks

the numbers on the six game boards that you have

on your screen when they are called and it beeps

rather loudly when you are one number away

from winning LOTS OF MONEY. How easy is that.

A no hands, no eyes, no real thinking or motor skill

involvement while you sit back and let the computer

maker you a winner. I usually take a good book and read

for two or three hours while the computer tabulates

my chances. The ultimate, most lazy way to make money.

All around you, poeple are frantically dabbing polka

dots and some are missing a few numbers cause they

might be missing a few brain cells and you are

guaranteed an accurate accounting of your losses

and or wins. Computer bingo could and may

eliminate all of the paper and pull tab landfill

waste as well as all of the empty, plastic bottles

that the dabbers are made out of. Bingo will never

go away, because there are too many folks who

just love to play but at least it has stepped into the

twenty-first century. So go give it a try if you dare

and never take more then you can afford to lose.

Your wife will love you more if you tag along,

and your hubby will tag along just to make sure

you don't spend the mortgage on pull tabs.

The money you spend does go to a charitable

organization and that money does a lot of good,

"BUT" some of the money also goes to that lady you

hate who always wins and that guy three tables

in front of you who just stole the money you were

set to win by getting his last number called before

yours was. All this and more goes on nightly

in just about anytown across the U.S. Just think

of what you are missing.




© 2022 Matthew Frederick Blowers III

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