Imagine that Baba has written a letter to Amir which he never gives to him and which is found in his belongings after his death. In this letter, Baba reveals th
Give careful consideration to your language choice.
Allah forgive me, I am too cowardly to say this to you in person. I write this to you in the hope that what I am about to tell you is more understandable, more forgivable. I know how emotional you are, and how you also enjoy reading, so this will also assist you in thinking rationally about the next sentence.
Hassan is your half brother. He is mine and Sanaubar’s son. Ali, is infertile. I know this is a lot to take, but please first read what I must tell you Amir. What I did wasn’t right. It wasn’t moral, nor the father that you know now. I committed a terrible sin, the theft of another man’s wife, another man’s dignity. A sin that will haunt me for the rest of my life.
We had to hide it, I told Ali of course, how could I not? A man deserves the right to know who is the father of the boy he is to call his son. But we had to hide this story. Hide it from the world Amir. All that a man had, all that a man ever has, is his nang and namoos. Without that, he is nothing. I am so sorry that I didn’t tell you earlier, I didn’t want it to affect your life. You were happy. You loved Hassan as your friend, as your brother, why would I have complicated everything like that.
The shame I felt each time I saw Ali, the guilt, I found it difficult to look him in the eye. He was a brother to me Amir, I grew up with him. It was a necessity for me to treat Ali as well as I could without arousing suspicion. Sometimes us Afghans are too concerned with pride Amir. In a perfect world, I would have been Ali’s servant. I felt like I had got away with crime, left unpunished. This is why I loved the idea of America. Because then, we were the ones living in squalid conditions. The ones who had to work hard to earn nothing but the very basics. Who struggled for our needs, not our wants. This is truly the spirit of Aghanistan. Sometimes I regret never teaching you what the real Afghanistan is, but after the incident with Sanaubar, I couldn’t bring myself to do anything but the right thing. That is the silver lining on this dark cloud Amir. Mistakes allow you to learn something forever. Without such a mistake, I may never have been able to build that orphanage, I would not have been dedicated enough. I knew that I had wronged someone, wrong Allah, and knew that If I was ever to be forgiven I would have to work hard, harder than I ever had before. And this is a lesson I want to pass on to you Amir. So that you would get the benefit of something that I was tortured for.
God forbid that it happens, but I can see that you are liable to make the same mistake. Amir, though I have said otherwise, you truly remind me of everything that I am. Allah forgive me, I fixated on the fact that you do not enjoy sport like I did, or do not stand up for yourself, but these are all petty things. You remind me of myself and my mistake and I hated that. You see, I am just as insecure as you, bachem. Please pay heed to your father’s warning Amir, do not be too hard on yourself, just learn from your mistakes. You are young, and you are likely to make mistakes, just as I did. I do not justify what I did by saying so. It is just fruitless to fester in the mistakes of the past, ‘there’s no point crying over spilt milk’ as they say in the US.
What I did was truly wrong, but if no benefit is taken for the world that Allah created, then it is a lesson wasted, and that which is wasted is essentially stolen Amir. It is a great sin to steal from the world.
I cannot explain myself and my actions, but I can give you the facts. Conclude what you will from them, bachem. Both having an affair with Sanaubar and not telling you or Hassan til now, just know that they were the most regrettable actions that I have ever done. Your father loves you Amir jan, please remember that too. It is rare that a true Afghan man should be so open with his feelings, though I think it is necessary in this case. Amir, you have made me proud, now you know that I am so sorry that I couldn’t do the same.
Your loving father,
Cady on January 12, 2015:
This "free sharing" of inmtafroion seems too good to be true. Like communism.