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The Duped recruit.

Artist, actor, poet, teacher, songwriter & actor with 4,000 poems & almost 1,000 songs written, performed recorded & published on line.

the-duped-recruit
the-duped-recruit
the-duped-recruit

A fictional account of the recruitment of the not so finest Marine Corps material

The duped recruit

put on his tattered,

but best suit

After his closest friend

told him about a new

job that would be hoot

So he went that same

day to the office that

was offering work with

free skilled training

and because he was

a big lunk he passed

his physical right away

and was signed right up.

His best friend was sadly

turned down because

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he was asthmatic

The duped recruit was

told to report back

the next day to catch

a bus to his new duties.

He didn't quite understand

the very fancy uniform

the man hiring him

was wearing but he

needed a job real bad.

He was in for quite a

big surprise though

when he got to

where he' d been bused.

His story in his

own words is told

below. Mind you he

couldn't read or write

too well, so he asked

me to chronicle his

story.

He said, "You know,

They told me that I

would be sent abroad,

and that I most likely

would be surrounded by Afghans.

My Ma used to knit those

soft, fuzzy blankets

and I never got to share

a bed full of them

with any girl before.


They told me that

I might just rise above

all the other privates,

and eventually

become first class,

and that sounded

real good, cause I only

got four inches and

I never came in

First in any class I

ever took.


Then they told me I might

get to drive a Hummer,

now all I's got

is a beat up

volkswagon with no floor

under the drivers seat,

and a bicycle with two flats

so I could go for that.


They wrote about

how I could be

all that I can be...

and how I might be

up to my ass In desserts

and I do love sweets,

but I never was much

on spelling.


All I really got was

some crazy, screaming

skinheads running around

in Smokey the Bear hats

torturing us for 13 weeks,

I had to sleep with 22 other guys

and listen to a symphony

of farts all night

that woulda put the

bullfrogs to shame

back home

and then I got

graduated even though

I never finished fourth grade.


Then they went and

rushed me to

a place called Iran,

and so I did.

I wound up running

like hell...


There all were all kinds

foreigners shooting at me

For no good reason

And it was hotter than

a blazing cast iron stove

In August.

I had been saving up

my pay to help my Ma

pay all of her overdue

Bills and so I snuck into

the back of a big cargo

plane that I knew was

headed back to the

U.S.of A. I burrowed

like a badger down

under a bunch of

seabags they were

sending home.

Then I snuck out of that

airport when that plane

landed and I hitchhiked

my way back to where I'd

left some 28 weeks before.


Now I'm back at my home

hiding out near papa's still

and I only come out when the

moonshine is just right.

hiccupp....burp!

but they trained me

real good on my old job

at shooting revenuers

so pop's glad I signed up.


But I aint gonna listen

to no more pretty

boy in dress blues

offering me falsies

that are bigger then any

I ever seen in the

local strip club.


They went and made

me A.W.O.L.

and I'm shitting bricks

every time the deputy

gets even close

to my shack.


So if any one offers you

to be sent abroad,

with some fuzzy blankets,

a hummer, some desserts

which will turnout

to be deserts

as well as promising to

make your privates first class,

No matter how bad

They might be

don't let the door hit you

In your stupid ass

on the way back to

the real world

Just come on down

and shine here with me

in....


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Bodink, Kentucky






© 2009 Matthew Frederick Blowers III

Comments

pbwriterchick on December 31, 2009:

LOL! That's some funny stuff there...

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