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A Tom Swiftly Detective Story: "The Case of the Million Dollar Collar"( pt 2)

John has many years of writing experience in poetry, short fiction and text for children's books. Basically, he just loves to write.


My Apology

First let me apologise to anyone who read the original hub and was left hanging waiting for an ending to the story. I have had trouble coming up with what I felt was a suitable ending as well as composing Tom Swifty puns to fit the story that weren't "stomach churningly" corny.

I still don't know how long it will take me to finish the story but at least I have completed a second chapter that I hope you find interesting.

Towering iron gates

Towering iron gates

The Case of the Million Dollar Collar Continues

The Kendrick-Ward mansion was certainly in the most opulent suburb in the city. Parkview Drive was populated by movie stars, celebrities and the mega-rich. As Rita pulled her ten year old Toyota up to the towering iron gates Tom looked at the huge home at the end of the driveway, "I feel like a fish out of water," he gurgled.

Rita pushed the button on the intercom set beneath an imposing lion sculture and when it buzzed Tom leaned over her announcing their arrival, "Tom Swiftly, private detective.. here to see Mrs Kendrick-Ward." Without a reply, the gates slid open and the car proceeded up the long cobbled and hydrangea lined driveway.

Hydrangea lined driveway

Hydrangea lined driveway

The car eased to a stop in front of the mansion's main door. A short stocky man in an expensively stylish suit was already standing in the doorway as Tom and Rita alighted. Taking in his appearance (as detectives do) Tom noted that the man was obviously the butler but he didn't fit the "Jeeves or Benson" stereotypes. He looked more like a bodyguard or hired heavy.

"Tom Swiftly and Rita Smart, Swiftly Solved Investigations," Tom offered once again as they walked up the wide marble stairs. The butler just nodded stoney-faced and said, "Follow me," in a gravelly voice before ushering them through to the back garden.


As they were escorted through the rear door onto the back patio, the investigator's eyes were met by an amazing clover shaped swimming pool. They waited patiently as Jody Kendrick-Ward completed swimming a lap of the pool, when the butler knelt down and announced that she had visitors before excusing himself and retreating back into the house

The lady of the mansion rose out of the water, climbing up the. steps in front of them. She was wearing a skimpy black and green leaf bikini and to Tom's surprise was obviously much much younger than her husband. "Mrs Kendrick-Ward?" Tom questioned politely as he tried to keep abreast of the situation.

She stood in front of him, flicking her wet hair from side to side and splattering him slightly. "Yes I am, what can I do for you?"

Once again Tom introduced himself and Rita. "Your husband hired us to..."

"Yes, I know. My husband hired you to find Ginger?" she espoused, frustration in her voice, "Or should I say, to find his precious collar?" Jody Kendrick-Ward added as she reclined on a banana lounge and placed a pair of Raybans over her eyes. She motioned for Tom to sit on a pool chair across from her, basically ignoring Rita who took this as an opportunity to to wander around the pool area and back garden looking for clues.

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Her attitude began to mellow as she was left alone with Tom. She seemed more than willing to answer all his questions "What do you want to know?" she offered, almost pleading, "Anything.. as long as it helps you find her.

Jody turned onto her side affording Tom a full view of her cleavage. He did his best to avert his eyes, or at least not appear obvious. If he didn't know better he'd think she was trying to come on to him. Then again, he thought, what's so strange about that. He was an attractive guy, kept himself fit, and could be quite charming when he wanted to. He shook his head..get back on track..solve the case.

"Do you mind if I smoke?" Tom asked, drawing back a little.

"No, go ahead," she said leaning forward, "as long as you offer me one." He obliged.

"When and where did you last see the dog?" Tom asked, composing himself.

"The last time I saw Ginger she was here in the garden chasing a ball," she said playfully. "I had been swimming laps when Clark, the butler, came and told me there was a call for me on the home phone. When I came back outside, she was gone."

"Who was on the phone?" asked Tom.

"Oh, it was just my husband Alastair. He was phoning to say he would be late home due to a business meeting."

"Was there anyone else in the garden at the time.. when you went inside?"

"Only Jim, the gardener. He was trimming hedges. But when I returned from taking the call he was still at work and Ginger was gone. He said he never noticed she was missing."


Meanwhile as Rita was strolling through the extensive and well manicured surrounds she happened upon an Aboriginal man weeding one of the garden beds.

"Hello," she said rosily, "what beautiful gardens you have here."

He grinned and nodded shyly, "Thanks Lady."

She kneeled down on the lawn, "My name is Rita Smart from 'Swifty Solved Investigations' and we're trying to find the Kendrick-Ward's toy poodle Ginger."

He nodded again, "I'm Jim. I do the gardenin' here. Nice dog that one, didn't bark much."

"Nice to meet you Jim. Were you working in the garden when Ginger went missing?"

"Yeah, I was trimming all dem hedges. The Missus keeps me busy.. Missus Kendrick-Ward that is. One minute the dog was there, next thing the missus was running around looking for her."

"You didn't notice anyone hanging around, or that Ginger had gone missing?" Rita asked.

"Nope. I was using an electric hedge trimmer and wearing earmuffs. Health and safety crap, you know? I couldn't hear nuthin'."

"Thank you for talking with me Jim. What's the name of that tree with the purple flowers?" Rita asked pointing as she stood up.

"That one's called the Jacaranda, Lady. Pretty flowers dem purple ones, hey?"

The beautiful Jacaranda tree

The beautiful Jacaranda tree

"So you have a butler, Clark, and gardener named Jim," Tom continued digging for information. "We'll have to interview them. Do you have any other domestic employees?"

"Of course,"Jody said a little condescendingly, "I don't cook or do housework, The cook's name is Doris and the housemaid, Marcia. Clark is also my husband's personal assistant. He can give you the staff's full names and addresses."

Tom stood up, "Well, I guess that's it for now," he said tucking a notebook into his jacket pocket. "I appreciate you taking the time to answer my questions Mrs Kendrick-Ward."

"Jody, please call me Jody," she chimed in smiling provocatively. "It was my pleasure, especially if it helps you find my dear little doggy." Tom felt that if she had a tail she'd be wagging it.

Tom turned to look for Rita before leaving, but stopped, "Oh, one last question .. Jody. Your husband said the dog was microchipped. Can I have the name of your veterinarian as well? If Ginger was dumped somewhere there's a chance that anyone finding her may report it and the chip will lead back to you."

As Tom thanked Jody Kendrick-Ward he saw Rita approaching the pool yard from the garden. They discussed what they'd found out while walking back to the house to interview Clark.Tom wondered if there was any truth in the popular saying "the butler did it"? If so it would serve this case very well and make solving it so much easier.

~~~ to be continued ~~~


What is a Tom Swifty?

A Tom Swifty is a” Wellerism” in which an adverb relates both properly and punningly to a sentence of reported speech.

The quip takes its name from Tom Swift, a boy's adventure hero created by the American writer Edward L. Stratemeyer under the pseudonym Victor Appleton. He published a series of books featuring the hero called Tom Swift. Tom Swift rarely passed a remark without a qualifying adverb such as: "Tom added eagerly" or "Tom said jokingly".

In a true Tom Swifty, it is an adverb that provides the pun:

1. "Elvis is dead," said Tom expressly.

2. "I swallowed some of the glass from that broken window," Tom said painfully.

But sometimes the pun occurs in the verb, and there may be no adverb at all.

3. "My garden needs another layer of mulch," Tom repeated.

4. "You must be my host," Tom guessed.

Occasionally the Tom Swifty is neither a verb, nor an adverb, but a short phrase:

5. "I've only enough carpet for the hall and landing," said Tom with a blank stare.

6. "Don't let me drown in Egypt!" pleaded Tom, deep in denial.



What is a Wellerism?

Brewer's Dictionary of Phrase and Fable defines a Wellerism as follows:

"Sam Weller in Charles Dickens' "Pickwick Papers" (1836-7) was prone to producing punning sentences such as: 'Out with it, as the father said to the child when he swallowed a farden [farthing]'. This type of verbal play, involving a metaphorical and a punningly literal sense, soon gained popularity under the name of wellerism, and a craze for devising such expressions rapidly sprang up on both sides of the Atlantic."

Examples of wellerisms are:

  • "So I see," said the blind carpenter as he picked up his hammer and saw.
  • "We'll have to rehearse that," said the undertaker as the coffin fell out of the car.
  • "Much noise and little wool," said the Devil when he sheared a pig.
  • "Simply remarkable," said the teacher when asked his opinion about the new dry-erase board.

(Source: Wikipedia)

© 2015 John Hansen


John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on April 18, 2015:

Hi Deb, thank you for reading the first two parts. I hope to have the next chapter published soon.

Deb Hirt from Stillwater, OK on April 18, 2015:

This sounds like it has a lot of promise. It certainly has a god start, and I'm looking forward to more.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on April 10, 2015:

Thanks Flourish. I had never heard of "Tom Swifties"until I read a hub by Daisy Mariposa about them. It intrigued me and I had to have a go myself. Glad you enjoyed this.

FlourishAnyway from USA on April 10, 2015:

Very cool, John. I don't know where you come up with these different literary forms, but I like it. I've run into them before but didn't know they had a specific name.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on April 04, 2015:

Thanks Kevin, glad you enjoyed this. I will have to check out where you suggest it needs proofreading. I appreciate the vote up, pin and share too.

The Examiner-1 on April 03, 2015:

Great continuation to part one John. I like private investigation stories and yours was neat.

I did not proofread the entire thing but I could not help noticing at a paragraph end (the blue pool under the arbor) you forgot the period. Then it was not hard to miss the next paragraph had that period in the middle of the sentence (the aqua pool).

I gave it vote up+++, share and pinned it.


John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on April 01, 2015:

Thanks for reading the second chapter too Ann. I am glad this tale is entertaining enough to keep you reading and looking forward to the next installment.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on April 01, 2015:

I am glad you are having fun with this tale Maj. Believe me it is a lot more difficult than it seems. I've been trying to get this second chapter finished for months, so I'm glad it's been well received. I'll try not to keep you a waiting so long for the next installment.

Ann Carr from SW England on April 01, 2015:

This story is rolling along smoothly. Entertaining and funny. I'm there in the scenes and I can smell that garden. Can't wait to find out where that poor little doggy is, with or without collar attached.

Well done.


travmaj from australia on March 31, 2015:

Tom Swiftly is so much fun. It reads so well and just flows along.

I'm quite confident this is not easy to write though - so much to consider and to keep the tone. You really did a great job John.. I will be joining many others waiting for the next chapter.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on March 31, 2015:

Theresa, thanks for reading, vote up, tweet, pin, G+ etc. Glad you enjoyed this and leart a little about different writing styles. It was fun to write though challenging. I think it's a good bet that they will find Ginger, but I can't spoil the ending, so anything's possible. Blessings back.

Faith Reaper from southern USA on March 31, 2015:

Hi John,

I enjoyed this Tom Swiftly story and I learned a lot of this writing style of which I had no knowledge. I do hope they find Ginger!

Thank you for an interesting story with a lot of extra to feed our minds as relates to writing styles.

Up and interesting and tweeting, pinning, G+ and sharing

Blessings always

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on March 31, 2015:

Yes Larry, you're correct. I am always trying to explore new aspects of the language and writing. We are never to old to learn, and it keeps me from getting bored. Glad you are enjoying this series. Have a great day.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on March 31, 2015:

Good to meet you Gek Aka. Thank you for reading this and also for your kind comment. You are right it is difficult to convey an Aussie accent in print without reverting to true "Okka." The aboriginal gardener is the only one who's true accent is obvious.

Larry Rankin from Oklahoma on March 31, 2015:

A great series. You always are thinking of creative new ways to explore the language.

Geof Awunyo from London on March 31, 2015:

You have done a great hub here , Great perfect English no one knows is aussie ascent or not...

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on March 31, 2015:

Yes MsDora, British accents would work fine (or for the gardener). So glad you enjoy my writing. I try to please a wide variety of readers.

Dora Weithers from The Caribbean on March 31, 2015:

Good for a read-out-loud with a British accent for the conversations. Thanks for the Tom Swifty explanations. You are so knowledgeable. For that and several other reasons, I like your work.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on March 31, 2015:

Hey Will, I can't remember ever seeing the books as a kid. It is only recently I was introduced to them and this type of pun associated with them. Thanks for reading and commenting.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on March 31, 2015:

Thanks Eric, glad you could imagine yourself there. So you think the butler did it? Well maybe you'll find out in the next thrilling chapter.

WillStarr from Phoenix, Arizona on March 31, 2015:

As a kid, I loved the Tom Swift books found in our school library, but it wasn't until I was an adult that I learned of all the puns that I had totally missed.

Good stuff, John!

Eric Dierker from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on March 31, 2015:

I surely did enjoy this read. You do a great job bringing me to the scene. Definitely the butler did it!

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on March 31, 2015:

You humbe me Bill. I am continually looking for new genres to try to to keep extending myself. I guess I get bored easily and have to keep attempting different things. I feel if continually writing in one genre bores me it must do the same to my readers. Just call me Mr Versatile :)

A sonnet hey? Well, I have never written one before.. so why not. I'll see what I can come up with.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on March 31, 2015:

Hey Frank, what a comment. Much appreciated buddy. I am glad you are enjoying my Tom Swiftly story, and pleased you can see my style continuing to develop.

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on March 31, 2015:

I'm sitting here this Tuesday morning wondering if there is a genre or type of writing that you cannot do. You are so damned talented, John. How about a sonnet? Can you do a sonnet? There's your next challenge, although I'm fairly certain you can do it.

Frank Atanacio from Shelton on March 31, 2015:

Wow, so many short stories here are ranked amatuers compared to the Tom Swiftly efforts. at least your effort.. a terrific read and I am in awe of your growing style... voted up and awesome.. also thanks for the meanings and examples.. the story didn't need them.. but they were a nice cheat sheet surprise..:)

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on March 31, 2015:

Thank you Shauna. I only found out about Tom Swifties recently but had to give them a try. It is quite challenging I must admit and I haven't perfected it yet. Thanks for your kind comment. I hope I can finish this off in the near future.

Shauna L Bowling from Central Florida on March 31, 2015:

John, you introduce me to forms of writing I've never heard of. You're very creative and so are your stories. I can't wait to see how this one turns out.

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