This story that I wrote is very close to my heart. You may find the parts that I am posting about this story on my profile.
PERSUADING MY MOM
Jelaine Shil Moara
"Please, mamabels! Don't do this to me! I need equity! I need justice! This is not fair! So not fair! Definitely not. I need to use my rights. I will get a lawyer. Justice for me! Justice for someone like me who's being mistreated by their mother!" I am almost shouting while talking to my mom.
I raised my right hand with a solid fist.
"What is that act for, Jelaine? Do you feel like you're in the spotlight where cameras are around, shooting? Are you an actress? You have so much of a show. Fix yourself up! And what mamabels are you talking about? Are you forgetting that you call me mama? Ma-ma! And don't be repetitive, Jelaine! You are going to transfer to another school whether you like it or not because that's what I want and you can't do anything to change my mind!" My mom answered me. Her voice sounded louder than I did.
We are here at our house and I did not have the chance to attend my class at my current school, because my mom is suddenly deciding on something crazy. She went to my room early in the morning before I ever got ready for school and told me about her crazy idea. I mean, not an idea, but a decision.
She told me not to get busy and waste my time preparing for school because I am not going to be attending classes at my current school already. She has spoken about her decision of getting me transferred to another school. Like, that's it! That's how she easily decided on it. I mean, I know why! -Because she's not me who's deciding for myself and she's not her either who's deciding for her daughter. She's deciding for herself because if she's deciding for me, she should have thought about how I would feel about this.
That's why I am here, complaining now because I am not agreeing to this decision she's about to make. This is unlawful and inimical to my human rights. I am very unwilling! So, I will stand and fight for my rights!
Since, kindergarten, this is the school that I am attending and I feel like it is my home now. I don't want to transfer to another school, especially if the school that I am going to is.....
"That school is a big mistake! Big mistake, 'ma! Do you hear that? Why is it so sudden that you're deciding to transfer me to another school and of all schools in the Philippines, you chose that school? 'Ma, my friends are here in my current school! Why are you doing this to me, 'ma? My grades are good, I maintain them well. I don't get into trouble or make any trouble. I am not giving you any problem. I am a good daughter. I am a good person. I'm so beautiful. I'm a goddess, I'm so cool and after all that, you're doing this to me? This is what you're going to pay for all the sacrifices that I am doing as your daughter? For all the good things that I'm doing? But then, when I am asking you for a valid reason why you are doing this to me, you don't answer me properly! You can't give me a proper answer! What? Is this just a game for you, 'ma? You can't do anything and you chose me as your victim to play with? Is that it?" I sulked.
I was faking to be crying to show it to her to somehow get a little sympathy from my mother. I was trying so hard for even a little amount of tears to drop from my eyes to make it believable, but even how hard I try to press my eyes close to drop some tears down, but there is no tear coming out from them. Oh, my veggies! My beautiful eyes, can you do me a favor just for now! Please, just drop some tears! It's just a little favor I'm asking! "You're right, mama. I really feel like I'm in some kind of a drama show and I feel like you are the antagonist!" I covered my face with my palms. "I really wish this is just a tv drama that's happening right now. I really wish this is not real!"
I slumped on the floor while showing that I am crying and acting like I am really an actress who's shooting for a dramatic scene. Veggies! She might find it obvious that I'm faking a cry because of my silly eyes that couldn't once give me a favor and cooperate! I just hope she won't notice it. But this is no joke at all. I really want to show her that I am crying so that she would give me some sympathy. These eyes of mine are just not cooperating with me! My veggies! What am I supposed to do now?
"You know what? I just noticed something that's missing. Just one little detail." My mom said nodding her head, pouting, while she kept looking at me. Both of us know that she's fooling around. Then, she stood up from her seat on the sofa. She started to walk and I saw her going to the kitchen. When she returned, she was already holding a glass of water in her right hand. "Here!" She put down the glass of water on the center table with heavy gravity. I got startled by the sound it created. "That's for the tears. That's the only one thing left that you're missing and you are going to perfect this drama scene you are making." I feel like I was just splashed by cold water and have already awakened by this dream that my mom is going to believe me on this drama. It was so depressing to think that my acting has gone to waste. She gave me a leer face. She rolled her eyes and sighed like she's tired and running out of patience. "I already told you the reason why I am deciding to transfer you to another school is that I just wanted to. Don't be repetitive, Jelaine. Alright? Could you?" She strictly uttered.
"You just wanted to? Really, 'ma? Is that it? You just wanted to? Yeah, right! You just wanted to make my life miserable! That's it! Right, 'ma? What about my friends? They are going to be left out? What about me? I never want this! I won't and I am unwilling to leave my current school and go to another. I never want to agree to this decision of yours. In other words, I don't like the idea of getting out of my current school and just going to the school where you want me to be!" I paused and breathed deep. "You just wanted to? Do you just want this? What about what I want, 'ma? What about what I want for myself? For my life? Don't you have a better reason for doing this? Something that I could understand you for doing this?" I am really exploding because of a lot of emotions coming out of my chest right now. My mom is just so disgusting. She just became as she never did before. She's acting weird like she never was like this before.
This is all because she just wanted me to do this? She must be kidding me. This must be a big joke of a lifetime.
"Oh, really? You don't understand me? Can't you understand those simple words? I'll repeat it to you. You are going to transfer to Eco High, I want to! You still can't understand? That was very simple to understand, Jelaine." Like me, she's also acting like she doesn't have much patience left. She inhaled deep and exhaled. Her facial expression became a little gentle. "Okay. I just thought that you've stayed in your old school almost all your life and I already found that school boring for you. Don't you think it's good to experience new things? See new places, see and interact with new people? Experience those things that you don't yet experienced? Color your life brighter colors than you ever have? I think that you deserve to have better and awesome chapters in your life. Why not try, right?" She carefully said.
Obviously, she's being sarcastic with her last sentence? I admit. There are just the same things for me every day at my current school. Everything is like a repetition of yesterday, but I am just fine with that. I don't even mind that. I am not asking for any new stuff to come or awesome chapters.
She's just chilling like none of this is a big deal. Maybe, for her, but for me, this is and I am driving crazy because of this sudden decision she's making. Seriously, what is happening to my mother? Is she kind of driving crazy for real? Oh, my veggies! No.
"Try? Really, 'ma? Try? Do you hear yourself? Then, I'll try to get bullied and to be a toy of the students there? Is that what you want, 'ma? Do you really think that my life would last when I am there yet? Are you really sure you are putting me in that scary school? Think again, 'ma! Think carefully! Please! I want to live long. I'm not fit for that kind of school. I'm too good and kind to be mixed to the students there." My school right now is definitely an ideal school for me. It's really for me. I have a normal life with normal students.
And what's important is my life would not stop existing while staying where I am staying right now.
"Enough! I am enough of you, Jelaine! Stop that act right now! Let's stop this discussion right now! I have already decided. Nothing can change that. I see no bad reason for you to not transfer. You can't guarantee that the rumors you hear about that school are real. You have not been there all your life. So, cut your wide imaginations, okay? Now, go to your room!" She's looking at me with a sense of authority and her voice also has it. So, she's really serious about this? She's putting me to another school like dumping trash?
I am going to that school? I can't imagine. How I wish, this is just a bad dream. How I wish this is just a huge, huge joke. How I wish I am really an actress shooting this scene!
Right! Why don't I just be a celebrity and don't attend school anymore? So that I could escape this thing that she's putting me into? Gosh! I know, myself! That's not the best idea to do. Not a solution.
"Then, I still need to try to prove a fact? 'Ma... Please... Don't do this. Don't do this to me, 'ma. I haven't done anything wrong for you to do this. Why of all schools you chose me to stay at Eco High. There are no students there but badasses. Bad girls and boys! Do you hear me, 'ma? Bad girls and boys! Bad girls and b--"
"Okay, stop! Just.. stop it now. You are telling me that multiple times. I told you not to be so repetitive! You are repeating over and over!" She said with extreme annoyance and disgust.
"Then, tell me why there? Why did you choose to put me there? My first day there could be the last day of my life. I have a strong feeling that even the first step that I will take inside that school could end my life. I might not be able to come home anymore. That's why, you think about this carefully, 'ma! Think again. If you really are decided. Okay, go on. It's your choice to lose a very kind, very beautiful, so perfect, and the goddess of all daughters in the world that no one could ever have and had."
A valid reason, that's all that I need. I need a reason to understand enough why she's doing this to me. This is total shit. She's being unfair! I am a good daughter. There's no reason for her to do this. I'm not the kind who takes home a trophy or a medal, but I am doing everything I could to make them proud. I'm doing and taking all my responsibility as a child and student seriously. I'm doing my very best to study and be a good student not only for my own sake but I am also doing it for them. I don't get low grades or marks because I'm putting my most excellent work on every task I'm doing.
What have I done wrong that propelled her to put me into a school like that? I swear, I can't think of something I might have done wrong!
"Don't say that! You are a good girl. I know that. I know you. You are my daughter! Don't worry, everything is just fine. You'll find out why I am doing this. For now, just do what I say and don't ask questions. You're too loud! You're not going to die or something. I know. Trust me. Okay?" She smiled gently and tapped my shoulder before she stood up from her seat again. Go to your room and get ready. You're coming with me to process all we need to process so that you can go to school tomorrow."
I looked at her helplessly and hopelessly as she was walking away.
I went upstairs to the second floor of our house and went to my room, sad and broken. I let myself land on my 'oh so fluffy bed' and I stamped my feet while on the bed, laying. It's because of disgust about this thing that is happening to me.
How about I really go and be just an actress or celebrity? So that I could fulfill my dreams this early? But I was actually thinking of going to that path while I am studying. I do not want to take the decision of going to that path without thinking about it for a while, before deciding to actually go, because that place is also messy and chaotic. In addition to that, I am still thinking if I really like to go and be a celebrity or be a lawyer. Anyway, I can't make that a solution to this problem. That's not the solution. I couldn't consider that to be a solution. But what is the solution? I couldn't think of anything else to be somehow a solution to stop this crazy stuff.
"Urgh! I don't understand you, 'ma!" I shouted out of disgust. "What am I supposed to do now? What's going to happen to me now? I can't imagine that I am going to study at a school like that. Will I still live long? Is this going to be the last time that I will see this world and experience living?" Yes. I am talking to myself. Yes. I am crazy. Kind of a long time ago now, but now, I am crazier. Super crazy. I don't understand my mom why is doing this to me! What is she thinking, putting me to a school of brats and morons? A school that is full of stubborn students. A school where badasses are everywhere. Oh, my veggies! Someone tell me, this is not happening! If I'm going there, then would I be the only good girl there? So, it means that I am the one who's going to be their toy? And they'll screw me in a barbeque stick and make me a big barbeque and eat me alive?
Oh, no, no! No, please, no!
I really don't want to go there! My friends are all at Riz High that I'm going to leave from! I'm just going to feel out of place if I go to a school where I know no one! Most of all, I am not a bad girl, brat, badass or stubborn, or whatever the students there are called! I'm really not for that school. I am not going to fit in.
I know for sure, no one's going to be friends with me there or even interested to be.
Oh, poor lonely beautiful me.
I really wish that all the rumors I've heard about that school are not a fact. I hope that those are all just rumors or remain that way.
I'm just 17 years old now, but it seems like this is the end of my life. This is the last year that I have to take before stepping into college, but it seems like it's not going to happen now.
Jelaine Shil Moara
This is my mom's fault. This is all because of her. Since nursery I am already in the Riz High until now, then suddenly, she's deciding on making my transfer to another school? She must really be kidding me! Riz High is like my second home already.
I grab my phone on the side desk beside my bed and sit on my bed. I dialed Hetera's number, one of my best friends. I raised my hand to put my phone in front of my right ear. It was out of coverage. I put down the phone to look into the screen of it again. I clicked Zekeine's number to call. She's also one of my best friends. I wanted to tell them what happened.
"Oh, hello, Elay? Why are you not attending a class today? Are you sick or something?" Zekeine immediately said when answering my call.
"Zeki, I just wanted to thank you all for all the times we have shared together. You guys are such a blessing to me and it was my pleasure to have you in my life. I appreciate everything about all of you, everything you've done for me and.., just, everything. Please convey my message to everyone. When you come for me here, always remember that the flowers that I want are roses and tulips. Okay? About the lipstick that you're giving me, just put it on my grave, okay?"
"What the hell? Why are you sending your goodbyes? Is your condition severe? Is your mental state not controllable anymore the reason why you don't know how to be sane just for a moment? Like, just right now we are talking, seriously?" She has a sound of sarcasm. She obviously did not take my words seriously and it's like me, saying goodbye to them now is not a big deal. She really thought I was kidding, isn't she?
"What? Hello! I'm serious! It's no joke. Mama is going to transfer me to another school." I started to talk about the main story that I'm supposed to tell.
"What? Holy cow! That's crazy! Why is she gonna do that? This is seriously the end of the world! You are gonna be separated from us." She squealed.
"Yeah. But there's this highlight. Do you know which school she's putting me into, Zeki?" I said with a serious tone.
"Yes? What? --Which, rather?" She asked.
"It's Eco High. She's seriously putting me there!"
"What?! Really? Cool. But what is the reason auntie told you why she is deciding to transfer you there? This is so sudden."
"Are you kidding? Cool? What's cool about that school" I sighed out of irritation. "About the reason, I am also wondering about the reason. She did not tell me any reason. She told me, she just wanted this, but I know for the fact that it's not true, that it's not the real reason behind this sudden decision of her. It's sick! I don't want to transfer, but I can't stop her from doing this. God knows how much I tried to stop her about this decision, but to no avail." I cried.
"I see. I think there's a reason. She just hasn't told you yet. Maybe, you just have to discover it yourself. Don't be so over-acting about it. There are a lot of good-looking guys there. Who knows it's there where you can find a replacement for Papa Jeon. By the way, is your fiance still planning to return here in the Philippines?"
"Don't you ever mention his name to me, Zekeine! I don't care about that moron a long time ago. Even his face has already been erased in my memory. And it's not because of him why I am not looking for a boyfriend. It's because I still do not want to have a headache for having a relationship with a guy because I was really traumatic about my experience with him. That's why, don't think that I do not want to replace him and aside from that, I really do not want to be with a bad boy, so what am I going to look for in that school? I don't care if there are many good-looking guys there! Now, why are you changing the topic into talking about him? Huh?" My blood is being heated up when someone is mentioning the name of that bastard. I'm hysterical. I'm like an animal, ready to eat someone.
"You have just bitten it. You actually fell in the trap." She laughed. "Why are you so defensive about him? If I know, everything you're saying is opposite from what's true. I know, you are still waiting for 'J' to come back and I know that your type is a bad boy, so you can't fool me. You like him for that, don't you?"
"Stop it! Don't keep reminding me everything about him."
"You like to remember, don't fool me, girl."
"I said, stop! Yes, I liked him, but that was the past, okay? It's done. It's just all in the past now, he's in the past now and I want to forget everything about him already. Okay? So, stop now! I don't want to talk about a person who's not important. I don't think that moron still remembers me either." I sighed anxiously.
"Shew! She's hoping to remember her." She teased again.
"You know, girl, as much as you try to forget about him, you'll be stuck in a situation where you would realize you can't because the truth is you and him will be together whether you like it or not."
As long as he's not here, he is not yet my problem. Right! I do not have a problem yet. Just this thing that's going on in my life.
Ever since he and his family left the country, I've been trying so hard to convince my parents to stop the arrangement with him, but my mom keeps on telling me the same thing that I couldn't turn back now.
"You know girl, as much as you try to forget about him, you'll end up being stuck in a situation where you would realize you can't, because the truth is, being engaged is like being married already. You are tied up and so he is. Girl, you are yet tied up like a married woman. Both of you are committed to marrying each other and being together whether you like it or not."
"Stop it! I don't have to think about it in that complicated way. It would be so much of a help if you just shut your mouth and stop talking about it. For now, I don't have to think about it yet. I don't have a problem yet as long as he is far away from me. And as long as the bad idea of coming back here in the Philippines has not yet been brushed in his mind, I am taking the advantage of not thinking about him or even a tiny bit and pieces about him just brush in my mind, so stop doing the shit of reminding me about him, okay? My day is getting more ruined than it is already. So, hey, what now? Will you help me convince my mom to change her decision?"
I heard her laugh before she spoke. "Wait a second. I'll tell them your dilemma." For a minute, I heard that the phone is far from her mouth and I heard that she's speaking to our friends. I also heard the voices of our friends, reacting to what she's telling them. When she's done, she came back to talk to me on the phone. "Hey. Here's the thing, we all do not know if we could ever help you on this, because they were also thinking the same way I was thinking about this matter. We don't think we can help you. Like, don't you know your own mother. Most of the time, she's letting you decide on your own and do anything you want, but once she has decided on something that usually I saw you're involved because I wouldn't know if you are not involved either when that time comes, girl, nothing can change that, no one can change that. Don't you know that, do you? When she said it, she's gonna do it and when she said it, that's it."
Zekeine is right. They are right. They really know my mother well as we have all been together for so many years of my life. It's because I am always the one who follows my own likes and wants and I am the one who decides for my own life, so when my mom has decided on something for me, I don't have a choice but follow what she wants and respect her decision as my mother. I should follow as she decided which I always do. I always follow. It's just that, it's just now that she has decided on something crazy. It's just now that she has decided on something that I think is wrong and I'm unwilling to do or follow. Why am I even trying if I do know well that I'm just going to end up having no chance to save myself on this? I know well that it's a no-win situation. Not negotiable. Not a discussion. As it should be because yeah, it's my mom who decided and I know her well.
I cried like a child, sounded like a child, too, but no tears like earlier. But I really do want to tear down. I just don't know why these eyes are not likely to cry. Maybe, it's not yet well digested yet by my body system. Could not accept, maybe. Don't want to.
"I really don't want to transfer." This is really not acceptable for me. I mean, even myself, like my mom, I would consider this really not negotiable for me to follow and do. But who am I not to show some respect to my mom's decision for me. She rarely decides for me. She always follows what I want and what I like in my life. I know that this decision of hers could mean something. I mean, she always has a reason for deciding for me when she does, so I'm sure she also has this time, it's no joke about going to that kind of school.
"Us, too. We do not want you to leave us here, but we really can't do anything about this. It's your parents that we are going against if we do something not to let this happen as decided and planned."
"Don't worry, we'll go straight ahead to your house once classes are done. We'll be with you in this loneliness you feel." She laughed because of the corny words she said. "But that school you're going to is good, my sissy loves. So, don't be sad. You're going to learn a lot of different and new things there. All exciting stuff! It would be a big adventure for you. Like shit. Doing shit, talking shit, and giving a shit." She laughed loudly.
It seems like they're not going to console me, but tease me and have fun with me about it. My feelings about them never fail me anymore as I've known them for almost all my life now. See how she's teasing me right now while I am not feeling okay because of the decision of my mom. That school is good? I'll learn a lot? Many good-looking guys? Like, duh. She's got to be kidding me. We all know that that school is not for me. I'm too kind to be walking inside that school. I'm going to die! Living would not be possible for me.
"I prefer you not to come here. I know what's going to happen. I know what's running inside your minds. I know you guys are not coming here to console me but to tease me and make fun of me. You're not going to see me anyway, because we are heading out to go to Eco High to complete all the papers that are needed, so I can attend classes as soon as tomorrow. Let's just see each other tomorrow in my wake when I am already dead when my beautiful face has already been abolished by the students in that school." I cried.
I just feel like my life would already end due to my mom's decision. I am going crazy as soon as now as much as I am thinking about how to escape the eyes of the ruthless students there. It's not like I would be invisible if I would like to. I'm very pitiful. This is hopeless.
I heard my best friend Zekeine laugh at what I said. "Your choice, but don't be too exaggerated. There's nothing that will happen to you. Don't overthink about it. If someone touches you there, tell me and I will look for them and avenge you. I promise!"
If it happens that she's the one who's experiencing this event now, for sure she's not going to react as I do. For sure she's going to be celebrating or just fine and cool about it. Why? Because she's also a bad girl. Not in a bad way, but in a way that she really has this strong personality. No one can just tramp on her. If someone does, she would not mind getting busy to make that person pay for that. If someone treats her badly, she'll treat that person more than she receives from him or her. She's making them pay more than what they did to her. A guy or a girl doesn't matter to her. She is who she is. No gender or person can change it. Well, except us. She's really a bad girl, but most of the time, she's not showing it. Maybe, that is how she tests people. But even though she is a bad girl, she's good to us. She treats us well. I don't know why. Like, even if we're not good to her or treat her bad. She does not do her famous avenge to us. Maybe, that is the advantage of being best friends with her.
We are seven people in our group of friends, five girls, and two boys. We treat each other as best friends.
The next person from my girl best friends is Hetera loha Kim. She's really cool. She's cold-tempered most of the time but not when she's with us. She does not treat us coldly either. But it still shows as it is in front of others' eyes. She just does not want her to be getting underestimated by other people. She's like the person which minds her own business but when people mess with her, she's the one who would give a damn. She will not let someone tramp on her. She won't just be silent when someone is doing wrong with her. She won't let someone take advantage of her. She'll fight and show the dark side of her that no one ever wants to see.
The other girl among us is Sahrey Dyel. She's born to be just happy with her life. She always wants to enjoy life. Happy-go-lucky. She always mentions the phrase you-only-live-once then adds the words, live-life-to-its-fullest. She has a kind of a bit childish behavior but not actually inside. She knows what she wants in life and she's going to give her best and do her everything to get them. She wants to just live doing what she loves doing.
Then, the next one is Yenei Castro. She has an old mind. She's the person who thinks very maturely among us. She's the one who refrains someone from us doing something if it's not good already or if it's redundant or more than so much. She's like a mother. A little boyish with her gestures or movements.
Among the girls, the person that I am closest to is Hetera. It's because she's already with me or we are already friends ever since kindergarten. It's not discrimination, we are all close to each other, it just happened that the first person that I am friends with among these people is her. She witnessed all important events in my life and with me and was there during those times that I needed someone or need help from someone.
I realized that I'm actually the only weakling among the girls. So sad.
I could say that because I'm the only person in the group who seems like anyone would want to get messed with. Like, I always get involved in a fight and they are always with me to stand for me and fight for me. Well, that thing just got started when Jeon came into my life. He really made my life worse. Being with him in my life is misery. He's a heavyweight that I have to carry. Before he ever came into my life, I was like just almost no one. People just ignore me like normal people do when they don't know them. No one has to notice me because they hate me for something. Like those people who always catch me for making fights with me because they couldn't accept the idea that I am engaged to Jeon and going to marry him someday. The idea which I came to hate along the time.
But maybe, I am not too good. Maybe, if I have no one besides me, I could fight for myself. Like those times that I have fought every single person who wants to make fights with me about being a fiancé of the most popular boy on campus. When I know that I only have myself, I fight. I'm just the person who fights even if it costs my life. The fact that I fought and did not retreat or give up is enough for me.
I just couldn't imagine being alone now going to that school. I'm used to being with my best friends. I don't want to be away from them anymore. I'm afraid to take a new track without them. Or maybe, new school, new life, new environment, new friends and new people are not ideal for me if we are talking about Eco High.
The two boys in our group are Tad Howen James and Jaden Song. They were friends with Jeon. After Jeon left for San Francisco, California, they made friends with me, but they are not like Jeon. Their personalities are too far from Jeon. Until now, I couldn't believe they became friends with Jeon. They're too good to be friends with him. We became four people in our group when the two boys joined me and Hetera. Then after a year, we met the three girls which are Zekeine, Sahrey, and Yenei when they transferred to Riz High.
Tad is a handsome guy, but he's a good one. He doesn't play with girls nor he plays with their feelings. Respectful with them especially with us, his best friends. He is witty and a bit naughty. A lot of girls in the school are falling for him, because of his personality. Sweet, gentleman, and kind. They call him their prince charming. He has almost got it all! Looks, attitude, and height.
Jaden is the joker one. Also, a so-good-looking guy. He's cool. Everybody else knows that. He's calm all the time. No one would see him panicking or being hyper or very mad unless someone who's important to him is being aggrieved or abused or in a very bad situation. He's very smart. How did I say that? What he does in class is just sleep but he's getting the highest score every time in quizzes, that's why teachers don't mind him sleeping in the class. He's also attractive to a lot of girls in the schools. Who wouldn't be attracted? He's got it all! Looks, brain, height, and attitude. Jade is easy to get bored of. Kind of bored almost all the time. He is not interested in getting to hang out with girls who are interested in him. He does not even talk to other girls aside from us, his best friends, or suffice to say, he is not just interested in girls. He is definitely not gay. Maybe, he just wanted to focus on his studies. I don't know. Maybe, he has a secret love that he doesn't share even with us. He is kind of that person. Hiding a lot of secrets. And no one can figure out what's going on in his mind. He is not easy to predict. His mind, gestures, and all.
Those two guys are the guys from our group of best friends. They are our armor to those guys who want to mess with us girls.
And those two guys, Jade and Tad are quite far from Jeon. They were quite good to me when the time Jeon left, even until now are still good to me. Maybe, they just couldn't be good when Jeon is still here, present, because of him, himself. Maybe they wanted to be friends with me already but just couldn't because Jeon is around and he doesn't want them to be. They do not have any news about Jeon now according to them. I don't know. I just heard from our girl best friends. I am really not sure about it because I am not asking them about it because I am not interested at all.
"Really? You promise?" I am pouting like a child. I am sure I do really look like a child because of this.
"Of course! But... Elay..." Elay is my nickname. "We'll miss you very much. It's really sad to think that you are going away from us here."
I sighed. "Yeah. Really sad and I'll miss you all, too, so much."
"Just make sure you're gonna be okay because if not, I'm gonna find that one who made you feel not."
I chuckled. "Alright. I will try my best!"
"Don't just try your best. Make sure of it or I swear, I am freaking going to be the one to make sure that I will punish those ones who made you feel not okay."
I laughed and I don't have a choice but to assure her.
"Yes. I will make sure. So, don't you ever forget about me just because I am schooling far away from you? Finding a replacement for me is not a good idea. Nobody can be like me. I am only the one who could create all those memories I have created with you." I am feeling really sad, but I am just cheering us up despite the fact that this thing is really sad to think about. Distance really matters to your friends, family, relatives, or loved ones. Sometimes, its ending is also becoming sad because of facing the fact that you are far away from each other. Sometimes, memories don't stay long in people's minds. Like, in the long run, memories just fade like that even if you have so much time you spent together. Everyone keeps creating memories every day and it would not be easy for them to keep those ones that happened a long time ago. Even though, sometimes, it is really important to you. I don't want a sad ending to come across in our friendship's way. I hope not. I love them so much. I hope they love me enough not to forget about me, even though they have already forgotten our memories together. I know that I could also forget those memories we shared together. Those crazy times and happy moments, but my heart will always remember them.
"You love creating dramas, don't you? Why will we forget a very funny dramatic friend like you? Hell no. Like, there's no way we can do that. See? I got infected by your virus. I felt like I am about to be dramatic just now. But hell no. So not me. Eww!"
I laughed so hard because of her, but I managed to calm myself.
I was very happy to hear those things she said. I feel less worried now. She's really not the type of person who likes being dramatic or doing drama. She's rarely like this. They are the truest people I've ever met, that's why I would never doubt them. It's not going to be so tragic for me after all. Every day after school, we always hang out. Sometimes in our house. Sometimes in theirs.
"Just see you tomorrow! Tell the others, too. We are going to school now that's why I think, I couldn't make it to our get-together after school class. Super not cool, but yeah, I'm just going to do it anyway. I have no choice." I rolled my eyes and breathed out some air.
"Sure you don't. Let's just talk through chats. Just keep us updated on everything. Okay? You take care of yourself. Keep safe. Bye!" She said and I nodded like I was talking to her face to face.
"Alright. You all take care, too, and keep safe! Bye."
I started to prepare for going to Eco High just as my mom told me to. Just as my mom wants me to do.
I have mixed emotions right now. Annoyance, presentiments, fear, and sorrow.
Annoyance, because of the fact that I'm still going to transfer to another school in spite of the fact that I don't want to. I don't understand why I have to move to another school if my life and my friends are already in my present school. I already have the life that I like to have there. I am already so fine with my life and I am not asking for more or something else.
Presentiments, because I am worried about my life. What if I'm already living the last moments of my life? Or maybe, my days are already being counted. Maybe this is one of the last days that I'm actually breathing and alive in this world.
Fear, because I am afraid whenever I am thinking what are the students capable of doing to me there in that school? It's very scary every time I am trying to think of what they will do to me. I don't even know if that school has rules and regulations about not to hurt or bully fellow students, but if there's no such thing, it only means one thing. I'm going to be dead. All my joyful moments are done. I'm just not yet very sure about what's being rumored about that Eco High school is real and a fact. But those are the things that I have been hearing about it and I don't have to prove it right because I don't really want to put myself in danger by going there just to prove it right and real.
Sorrow, because it's very sad to think that I am going to be separated from the people I love the most in my life. My best friends. They are all like siblings to me already because they have already been a huge part of my life and existence. We are all have been friends for so long. It's not like we are connected with blood, it's like we are connected with souls. I will miss them so much. I am very sad that I have to go part ways from them.
Oh, life! What if I pack my things and run away from all this? Geez. What am I even thinking just now? Like, as if I could do that? I can't leave my parents just because I don't want to go to that school that my mom wants me to go to. Was what Zekeine said true about there being a lot of good-looking guys there? Like, how did she know? Right! HOW DID SHE KNOW? HOW?
After I'm done preparing for an appointment at Eco High, I picked my phone on the side table and lay on my bed for a little moment while mom is not calling for me yet. I'm still hoping that she will change her mind.
I open the drawer on my bed's side table while I'm laying and get one of the chocolates that I stored in there. I'm really feeling stressed right now and I badly need one of these. This is definitely a stress reliever to me. Whenever I'm not feeling okay, this is the food that makes me feel relieved.
I open the pack of chocolate that I got and eat it while I'm getting busy on my phone. Messages and social media are important to me in having a phone. That's all I'm doing on my phone aside from making a video of my dance covers.
I checked our group thread on one of my social media accounts and found nothing since they are all together in 'their' school and in a class right now. So, I just checked my Facebook notification and news feed. Maybe, most of the people are already like me now. Whenever they have spare time, they browse the internet to check their social media accounts.
One notification from someone who wants to be my friend and adding me as a friend caught my attention.
My heart pounds when I see the name.
It's Jeon Eco.
Wait! Seriously? Is this him?
This is really making my day even worse. Why is this guy even asking me to be his friend here on Facebook? Like, as if we are friends? Eww!
The relationship we have and had was only one thing, it was called the opposite way, ENEMIES.
Why do I have to see his name of all names I have to see! This is the time that I need some good things to see to make my mood lighter. This is so wrong timing.
But for real? Is this really true?
Jeon does have a Facebook? That's new. --Yes. I know Jeon doesn't have a Facebook account. I have searched and checked his name here before out of curiosity, but I couldn't find any. That was out of curiosity, not because I like him or miss him.
It has been a long time since the last time I saw him. It has almost been 7 years long. How I wish I would not have to see him again. He's the only moron who's calling me ugly. Like, I am? I couldn't even fit the word to me and to my beautiful face. As a matter of fact, I am getting mesmerized by my pretty face every time I am looking in the mirror.
But is he adding me one of a sudden like he is implying something? Is this some kind of hint that he is already going to come back here to the Philippines? Just by thinking right now, I already feel creeping.
Wait! Am I going to accept his request or ignore it? Veggies! Why am I even thinking about it? Is it even to think about? Of course, not! This is a no so I will tap ignore.
So, yeah. I clicked the--what the heck! What have I just tapped? Silly fingertip! Did I just? What did I do?!
I went to the page where I would see the list of my friends and there, I saw his name. Oh, my veggies!
I accidentally tapped the opposite one! It was really a simple tapping for me to do! What's happening to me? I just had to tap the ignore button and done, but I was not able to do it! Silly me.
Now, I'm curious and now I'm having this temptation of looking over to his account to see his pictures or posts there. Is he really using this social media? That would be pretty funny. I wonder what kind of stupid things he is doing here?
I decided to tap his profile. I promise myself to look around here very fast. There's an all-black picture in his profile and I tapped the pictures on his account, then I saw no picture at all. I also saw no posts. It's all empty. No sign of him.
Or maybe, this is not him. Like, it was just an incident that this person was adding me and they just have a similar name?
What a waste of time! Why was I even interested in checking this account whether this account is his or not? Maybe, this is really not him.
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