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Reminiscing About My Temporary Friendships

Val is a life-long student of unexplored human potential and many challenges that self-honesty throws at us on that path.


People Who Contributed to Dear Memories

The word "nostalgia" was invented long ago, of course, but it may particularly mean a lot to all ex-emigrants who also happen to be of the baby-boomers generation -- myself fitting in both categories.

So many people, so many places staying back there that turned into many happy memories. As we grow older, our long term memory tends to go overactive, while we may go to the other room of our home and wonder why we came there.

Well, this second part I have not reached yet, but it's true that many of those far away events seem like they happened as recently as yesterday.

Somehow, blending with those distant times of life are certain experiences with friendly people of more recent dates, but looking finite due to slim chances of being repeated.

Names like Camilo, Boris, Ivan, Paul, Florian...and so many others come to mind, in a list that makes me wonder about the transitory nature of friendships that loked so promising at the time, only to turn temporary.

Indeed, what am I supposed to do with all their files in the archive of my mind, containing even so many of those closely confided secrets? Is it all supposed to be just added to the rest of the memory junk, like my previous telephone numbers.


My Perennial Pen-Friendship with Susana

There is one cherished exception that I'd like to mention. It's my pen pal Susana, now a professional psychoanalyst living in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

We started corresponding as teenagers, as I got her address from a Pen Pal Directory in Copenhagen, Denmark, along with the addresses of other four girls -- Shirley from Rosebud, Australia, Renata, from Leipzig, (then) East Germany, Mary from Djakarta, Indonesia, and Louise from Montreal, Canada.

You see what I mean -- talking about long range memory -- I still got even their faces in my mind from their photos.

But Susana turned from the very start to become my favorite, because she "liked psychology", while I read my first book on psychology at the age of ten -- so we quickly discovered something in common.

Unlike my family struggling with scarcities in the post war communist Yugoslavia -- not to go into a drama and soap opera added on top of it -- Susana was from a "fine" family. Her father a well known surgeon, mother a piano artist, and elder brother turning into a renowned philosopher and a personal advisor to the Argentine president.

She graduated and later lectured psychology at university, married a businessman, had three children -- but, hey, all those details came much later to my knowledge.

For, we stopped corresponding when I went to the army and got married -- actually, half century had passed, until one day I got this idea to try getting in touch. I knew her teenage address by heart, but what were the chances that she would still be there.

As it turned out, her mother in her 90's still lived there with her maid, and she gave Susana my little greeting card with my email address.

Needless to say how delighted I was as I got her first email, some ten years ago.

So, we are still corresponding, probably never to meet, but I must say that the friendship with her has been deeper than with any of the friends that I knew in person.

Of course, sometimes we argue over psychology, about diagnostics, about solutions, and her hot Latino temper would at times bring our friendship to a little standstill -- but friendly hearts would prevail, and like she would say it: "We have to nourish this friendship, no matter what the personal differences."


Very Different, Yes -- But Still Friends

When it's about those "personal differences" which were always successfully bridged, my experiences at Hub Pages are telling somewhat different story.

Recently I closed my account at Hub Pages, because I somehow lost the whole point of further contributing with my articles. Then I reactivate it after a month, again, because it somehow seemed like a thing to do. Sometimes I don't ask my analytical mind for my reasons, but simply follow my, if you want to call it "whimsical", intuition.

So, as I normally lost all followers, all fans, all accolades, and all views in the process of closing the account -- for which I have no regrets at all -- I will be talking about those followers, commenters, and fans from that "first round" of my presence at this website.

Even now, as I am continuing to write, I can't but notice enormous differences between us as personalities and as writers. It certainly shows on my traffic, but -- if I really ever worried about "traffic", I would have never quit, but would have given myself just a longer break instead

So, that part never was an issue, except that it made me wonder for whom I was really writing. That also stopped being much of a question, as I simply realized that those few loyal readers were to be enough of an incentive to keep writing.

Besides, it's, in the first place, fun to see my thoughts presented in this form.

However, thinking back about all those followers and especially fans, I am facing that same truism of all those friends in the past that just disappeared from my life.

That satiric in me, which never spared me from its teasing humor, rushes to say:

"Hey, Val, all those fans and followers and commenters became that prior to getting to know you better."

And many a time I don't argue with that satirist in me, because it must have been formed out of my often uncomfortable passion to see things "out-of-the-box".

And I evidently haven't belonged much within that box of Hub Pages socializing.

I stopped that reciprocating routine of favor-for-favor giving praising comments after others praised my work. From the outside of that box, it seemed like writers were using their posts only as a medium-excuse for friendly exchanges, as if daily recharging each others' batteries of self-love.

And, as if that was not enough, my niche is certainly turning many a hubber's interest off, because I write about people's mental laziness to face their being brainwashed by politics and religion. I remind them of their flaws, and that just doesn't sit well enough with them.

Then, on top of all that, I share about my smaller and those bigger achievements in area of self-realization, personal sovereignty, robust health at age of 70's -- as if shamelessly bragging, and "advertising my advantages over them".

Could all those fans, and followers, and commenters need any better reason to lose that initial interest.

Well, I as you can see, I am aware of all this, and there is no sugarcoating to be used there -- I simply suck as a virtual friend at this fine friendly website.

But guess what -- none of it really bothers me, I simply understand that we are enormously different, and those differences don't ask to be made smaller.

Looking at these cute folks discussing "online shopping" on the Feed, they just remind me of my sweet wife, who, while I am reading "Biocentrism", by Dr. Robert Lanza, or "You Are the Placebo" by Dr. Joe Dispenza -- asks me: "What do you want me to cook for dinner?"

So I just love all these folks. I still read their stuff, I find it interesting, amusing, whatever the theme may suggest -- but yes, damn it, why lie about it -- we do belong to two different worlds.

So let it be, friendships, even those virtual ones, may be of many different kinds. I still don't categorize these as those of temporary kind, of which I have had so many.

© 2021 Val Karas

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