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Relationships- Bond or Bondage - A Review

This is a review of a book called 'Relationships' written by Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev.

In this world no one meets anyone without any reason or a cosmic connect either they teach important life lessons to us or we would be a game changer in their lives. Sometimes we also get into a relationship that is physically and mentally exhaustive. What could be the reason behind it? We have also heard and experienced a lot of cases where parents fail to understand the needs of their children and children being insensitive to the needs of the parents, and fights between siblings and husband and wives. Why there is so much emotional drama in relationships? Why is it so fragile to handle? These are questions that keep haunting our minds when we undergo pain in a relationship.

Before I start with the main article I would like to say that this is my first article on a book review. I don't usually write book reviews unless and otherwise the book is worth sharing.

The book 'Relationship' is authothered by Sadhuguru Jaggi Vasudev who is a great genius and a mystic of modern India. He has dedicated himself for the upliftment of physical, mental and spiritual well being of all. He is the founder of Isha Foundation. He is a great speaker and an opinion maker and has addressed in many public forums, and world summits. He has attended questions- answer sessions in many prestigious organisations and educational institutions. He is a self realized yogi and has awakened the wisdom of masses through his Kriya yoga sessions.

Coming back to the book, the book is divided into four portions which talks about the husband and wife relationship, relationship with friends, the cosmic connect, and relationships that transcend beyond death. It is given in the form of question answer sessions.

My Favourite Lines from the Book

There are a lot of lines in the book that was so relatable and hit me hard to an extent that I used to underline and keep those words. Whenever I feel a little low and things go haywire I go through those words that gives me a temporal relief. They words were so sharp that I couldn't stop myself from jotting it down here so it would be a driving force for others to read this book.

Sadhguru 's say on relationship

  • Instead of trying to manage our relationship which is truly impossible actually- if u try to include other as a part of yourself, your life becomes an expression of joyfulness not a pursuit of happiness
  • You need a relationship only because somewhere there is some incompleteness within you, if you take away this, if you attain to a state within you, which has nothing to do with the other, then every other person wants to be with you.
  • Instead of recognizing that someone is fulfilling your needs, you think you are doing a great job for them. When something goes wrong somewhere you think "He is responsible", this is the beginning of a bad relationship.
  • If you go on playing around with too many people, after sometime you become numb.
  • Be a little courageous in your friendships. Be ready to lose them, it is okay. Atleast if you care, you must do what is good for the other, not for yourself.
  • A true friend is someone who has the courage to tell who you are and still be nice and loving to you.'
  • 'Any work that you do in this world is truly worthwhile for you only if you touch people's life deeply'
  • Children bully because they perceive that the world works this way. Everybody is using whatever power they have to beat someone else down. People are not using the power they have to uplift someone. Even if they uplift someone, there is a string attached that they can pull you down any time they want.

We keep falling in love again and again repetitively with multiple people in our life time. These relationships break us apart, but still we again fall in love. The joy of new relationship makes us forget the pain caused by the old one. Sadhuguru says

"Runanubandha is a certain aspect of karma; it is a certain structure of karmic substance. Wherever a certain amount of meeting and mingling happens between people, some runanubandha is created. Especially when two bodies come together, the runanubandha is much deeper. It is a kind of recording in the body; the body is keeping a record of everything that has happened. If intimacy happened with another body, it is keeping a record of that particular kind of energy. Because the body remembers. If there are multiple partners, the body slowly gets confused over a period of time and this confusion will tell in your life in a million different ways. Your mind is confused, but you are living with that somehow. If the body gets confused, then you are in deep trouble."

Few lines from the book

Do we form and maintain our relationship to fulfill our needs, or do we do it to express our joys?

The Cosmic Connect

Sadhguru in this section talks about how our bodies are connected with the sun and the moon cycles. If our bodies are not in tune with the nature then reproduction cycle will stop. Below given are the glimpse from his book where he talks about the cosmic connect

"The very nature of how this biological body gets created is very directly connected to the nature of the earth, the sun, and the moon."

What we refer to as “mysticism” is essentially a way to know your own nature, and know the relationship between yourself and the cosmos.

Yoga revolves around these three dimensions – about mastering the energy of the sun, the moon, and being in tune with the earth – because fundamentally, your life is empowered by these three forces.

"For everything that nature and people around you are providing, shouldn't you bow down to everything in absolute gratitude?"

Exaggeration means, either unconsciously or intentionally, you are deviating from truth. Deviating from truth means you are working against yourself. One who works against himself does not need an enemy. This is called self-help!

Beyond Life and Death

We call love as divine. Can a relationship transcend beyond birth and death? We call someone our soul mate, does our soul really need a mate? So which is the relationship that transcends beyond birth and death? Sadhuguru gives a whole new concept of which relationship transcends beyond life and death and below given are his opinion on the same.

"Relationships are an opportunity to achieve some kind of union which will pave the way for a greater possibility."

"A Guru is not someone who holds a torch and shows something to you. He is the torch. He burns."

Generally it is the master-disciple relationship which gets carried for lifetimes. All the other relationships come together for convenience. Once it is over, it just breaks apart.

If anything in life, if you do more of it, it should be better. But it does not happen like that. If you eat more, if you drink more, if you smoke more, if you copulate more, life does not get better. People have tried all those things and it has not worked. The only thing that you can do endlessly is doing nothing.

I would like to conclude this article saying that some books are eye openers and game changers. The book 'Relationships- A bond or bondage would satisfy both the aspects. This is a must read and a good read as well. People who are interested in books on personality development can go for it!

"You spend more hours in your workplace than with your family or anywhere else. When this is so, is it not important that we make this into a beautiful experience?"

"If upliftment has to happen, we need a powerful, nonsectarian spiritual process to liberate people like that, so that every human being can blossom in his own way."

— Sadhguru

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