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"Non" Will Rule The World Someday

Kenneth, loves satire and writings to spotlight others, but he also has an "addiction" so to speak, to dramatic and abstract/prose poetry.

Welcome to NON-alcoholic beer.

Welcome to NON-alcoholic beer.

It's non, not "Do-run, run, Do-run, run," it's merely non! Get ready for my roller coaster adventure.

I learned something the hard way. Upon selecting the prefix, "non," it seems that the definition is too involved to make any solid sense. So it's left up to me. Non, to me, means just that, non. It sounds more chic than no, because no, is too harsh. Non is not. Non is easily understood because it takes a few seconds for our human minds to absorb. The word, no, is just to rough to take on and be a happy camper.(See examples below)L

Office manager: "John, your work is simply non-productive."

John: "Sorry, boss. Will you help me to improve?"

Then we have . . .
Office manager: "John, I got to tell you that you have no reason to continue working here."

John: "Are you threatening me?"

See what I mean? The non, when pronounced softly will come out smoothly. But throw-out a hard, no, and whomever hears it will automatically be offended. That's the way that our English crumbles.

The word, non, goes deeper. I mean so deep that none, (get it?) of us can see the bottom. This is serious, folks. What will happen to our contry when the "non" users continue to live and work and get away with it? I'll tell you, because I sense that you are way too sensitive to offend people.

The prefix, non, has not only escaped from English, our treasured tongue, but now has taken on the world of Free Enterprise--selling, buying and advertising has been affected the most. You will see what I'm talking about in a second.

We have ads on TV that sell (or hope to sell) sleeping med's that bark, "non-habit forming," and we went along with it. The super-thinkers of that ad agency chose to use non, like I aaid, is a smoother way of saying no. On the down side, the word no, brings up an entire box of snakes that we didn't bother for years. Such as: "Get Super Snooze! The only non-habit forming drug on the market!" Understand?

Are ghosts really NON-existant?

Are ghosts really NON-existant?

The word, no, can be traced to our childhood. What is the first word that we were taught? No. Right? Example: Little Sammy is a toddler reaching for an expensive vase that is priceless. Sammy's mom sees that is about to happen and cries, "No, Sammy! No!" Sammy is now afraid to move. Mom knew how to use the word, no, to her advantage. So the wrod, no, developed and evolved into a respected verb. "Sir? Care to buy an apple?" "NO! You need to get a job!" And so it goes.

Speaking of apples. I do know when God was explaining to Adam and Eve about the trees He expected the two to eat freely and the one that possessed good and evil, He did not use the term, "Non-tree." But the tree of good and evil just like I said.

Truthfully speaking, non has not really taken roots until early 2000, or as some said, the New Millennium, it remained the powerful, all-inclusive Non. I even showed respect by capitalizing the word because Non is, or should be a proper verb, not a proper place, person or thing, but what do I know about grammar or English?

People like myself are exposed by TV, radio, newspaper, magazine and billboard to all sorts of ideas and suggestions, but when Non came on the scene, things got wild. It was no longer, "Bill is having a no good day," it was like "Bill is having a Non-Day," and this was how Non started to gain traction.

NON-Sugar Tonight in My Coffee . . .

To prove what I've been talking about, here are some songs that were so popular, but when one word was changed to "Non," it changed everything. Look below:

The Guess Who "No Time Left For You," "Non Time Left For You," and "No SugarTonight," "Non Sugar Tonight."

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The Beatles had many hits. One was: "Nowhere Man," now changed to "Nonwhere Man."

Remember Peter Noone, and Herman's Hermits? They had "No Milk Today," is now "Non Milk Today." And Noone will become Nonme to make him more popular.
Recall the slang in the 70s, "No way, Jose?" oh yes, that will be "Non Way, Jose." And who can forget the Andy Griffith classic, "No Time for eargents?" can be changed to "Non Time For Sargents."

The Military was known to say, "Take No Prisoners," but they will be forced to use "Take Non Prisoners."

One of the most-known phrase that describes someone who is acting a fool. The word of course is: Nonsense.

In legal contracts, have you read the terms, Null and void? The phrase is stronger like this: Non and void. See what I mean?

Friends, there is even a brand of panty hose called, "No Nonsense Pantyhose," but soon, there will be a new brand called "Non Nonsense Panty Hose." See if I am wrong.

No  NON-sense pantyhose. So pantyhose was formerly a stand-up comedian?

No NON-sense pantyhose. So pantyhose was formerly a stand-up comedian?

The Beatles: "He's a Real NON-where Man."

The Beatles: "He's a Real NON-where Man."

guys had two substitute players named: Joe and another one named Shemp Howard. Both Joe Besser and Shemp Howard were in my opinion, Non Stooges, not real Stooges.

guys had two substitute players named: Joe and another one named Shemp Howard. Both Joe Besser and Shemp Howard were in my opinion, Non Stooges, not real Stooges.

In the years of 1992 through 2000, I had the pleasure of working with a good friend, Nick Ray, Hamilton, Ala., it was one of the most-fulfilling years of my life, occupational-wise. Although Ray was a graduate from UNA (University of North Alabama), a very prestigious college, and Ray had a great head for sense. But he did not have the patience (like me) to kid him about certain things and their titles. The one that I used to dig him the most was when I would use a sport that was not recognized as as football name, as a "Non Sport." Every fall during NCAA College Football Season, I would say to Ray, "Hey, are you going to the Skeet Shooting Tourney this weekend? I would, but everyone knows that shooting skeets is a Non-sport and would throw in other competition games such as: Curling; yachting; field hockey; lacrosse and others. Ahhh, good times.

In the days of Early Film Entertainment, one group stands alone: The Three Stooges (shown in hub). The Stooges were Moe Howard, the brother of Kurly Howard, and friend, Larry Fine. These guys had two substitute players named: Joe and another one named Shemp Howard. Both Joe Besser and Shemp Howard were in my opinion, Non Stooges, not real Stooges.

Non grew from a meager start to a meteorite rise. Today there is an organization called: a Nonprofit organization. Yes. Oh, yes. The time and true adage, No Work and No Play will be changed to Nonwork and Nonplay, will turn Jack into a dull person. (Had to make Jack a noun and please the radical left.)

A few months back, I was engaging in TV-watching and this colorful ad began. The pretty women, handsome GQ men were noshing, laughing, and then . . .one of their friends brought-out a green bottle of beer (I won't name it--I do not want to be flagged by HubPages) and the group loved it. Each member were offering toasts, until one woman read the bottle and mouthed the words, Non-alcoholic beer. What?Yes, Jethro, Non-alcoholic beer. My mind froze like a winter morning. From this ad went on the next day with a boss and his employees in their workplace and they had a luncheon area for people to eat.

He made a tray of food, but he too, brought a bottle of Non-alcoholic beer (same green bottle) and even showed the brand to the camera, and the Non-alcoholic stood-out. Quite frankly, this was what the beer company's ad agency produced . . .a beer with no alcohol. Nice.
With my thinking, we can see non-alcoholic's going to secret meetings with the moniker, "NAB" and one man walks up to the front and says, "Hello. My name is Bud. And I am a non-alcoholic-alcoholic," The crowd says, Hi, Bud." You know the rest.

Then we will see Non-Alcoholic Beer Night and free hot wings! My, why hasn't this restaurant doing a better business? It's a safe beer. We cannot get buzzed on non-alcoholic beer. So what's the problem? I got it. A "Non-Alcoholic Alert Line," where men and women who have drank about five non-alcoholic beers and then feel guilty. Those folks.

In some of the world where Christians live, the word, Non-Believers, are how the people are entitled instead of No Church Affiliation. Okay. Non Church Affiliation.

Just hope that the Non Organization will not see this change about church affiliation and sue me for all that I have which is around $45.78, tax included. And that goes with my best wishes for you to write a better hub than I have.

Should be a Non-contest.

July 25, 2021_______________________________________________

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© 2021 Kenneth Avery


BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on July 29, 2021:


You have me rolling in laughter with this one.

I'm not sure if you are familiar with Gallagher...but you definitely reminded me of how he talked when doing his shows.

Here's a clip:

I hope you enjoy it.

He's retired now. I miss seeing his shows. Maybe you can go on the road.

I'd be there.

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