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The Backseat Driver ~ a Micro-Poem

John values the use of humour and enjoys writing and reading limericks and jokes. He is a fan of Dr. Seuss, Edward Lear and Shel Silverstein


A Woman Knows Best

My wife always knits or crochets in the car as we are driving. She rarely looks up but this doesn't stop her from giving me driving advice and telling me what I'm doing wrong... This poem is a slight exaggeration...but only slight.

Backseat driving can actually be dangerous. It can distract the driver as well as making them anxious, nervous and unsure. Trying to drive to please your passenger suppresses your natural instincts and can actually increase the risk of accidents.

It's easy to be a backseat driver. It's even easier to be a backseat driver when you're not even in the same car

— Rick McCallum

The Backseat Driver

"Straighten up the car

You've parked crooked again.

I won't be able to open the door

Without scratching the car next door.

Slow down gradually before the corner,

And don't brake so suddenly.

Wake up!

You almost ran off the road.

You're crossing the centre line again,

We almost hit that car."

"For God's sake Darling,

Give me a break.

We haven't even

Left our garage yet."

don't be a backseat driver. Instead, quietly recite mantras of protection. For example: "You're going to get us all killed!"

— David M. Bader

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© 2014 John Hansen


John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on May 28, 2015:

Haha poor Mr. B. This pretty well describes my wife and I too (but don't tell her I said it). Thanks for reading and glad it gave you a laugh.

Doris James MizBejabbers from Beautiful South on May 28, 2015:

That is so funny and delightful. Mr. B would probably say that it describes me when I ride with him. He lost the sight in his right eye about 30 years ago, and he is an unholy terror on the road. We always take my Prius and I drive unless we are hauling something in his truck or, for some reason, I'm unable to drive. The five months I was in a cast or a boot with my broken leg were the longest months of my life.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on January 07, 2014:

Oh Genna, I appreciate such a 'warm' comment. Thank you for reading, and I hope the coming days are not so cold there. So glad you like these micro_poems of mine.

Genna East from Massachusetts, USA on January 07, 2014:

Lol! I just love your "micro poems," and this was no exception. It's so cold here today, but this delight just warms the heart.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on January 05, 2014:

thank you Ann, yes back seat drivers here too, can be men also, right.

Ann Carr from SW England on January 05, 2014:

We call them back-seat drivers here! Not restricted to us, the fairer sex, though! Great poem which brought a smile to my face. Ann

tlmntim9 on January 04, 2014:

Ha Ha

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on January 04, 2014:

Thank you for reading Lizzy, glad you found a laugh in there.

Liz Elias from Oakley, CA on January 04, 2014:

Hahaha...very funny. I know people like this. You're right--not a lot of exaggeration.

Voted up & funny.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on January 04, 2014:

Haha Flourish, yes please show him. I'm sure he'll enjoy it. I can't show my wife Glad you enjoy these. Thank you.

FlourishAnyway from USA on January 04, 2014:

Oh, that's good. I'm going to show this one to my husband. He drives like you apparently do, Jodah. Voted up, funny, and sharing. I love the micropoems.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on January 04, 2014:

Thank you Nadine. Glad to give you a laugh.

Nadine May from Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa on January 04, 2014:

Ha Ha ha this was funny. Loved reading it.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on January 03, 2014:

Yes Frank, that is the case, rather than back seat but that's the recognised term. Thanks for visiting.

Frank Atanacio from Shelton on January 03, 2014:

crazy side seat driver!!!

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on January 03, 2014:

Thanks Faith, for reading and your vote up and share. I knew people would be able to relate to this but expected most positive comments to come from the male It is good when we can all laugh at ourselves and enjoy humour for what it is. Glad you enjoyed the journey. Hugs.

Faith Reaper from southern USA on January 03, 2014:

LOL, were you riding along with my husband and I! hehehe so true, and I love just the tad bit of exaggeration. You are very clever indeed!

Up and more and sharing

Hugs and have a great weekend with safe driving, Faith Reaper

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on January 03, 2014:

Thank you Blossom, yes a little.

Bronwen Scott-Branagan from Victoria, Australia on January 03, 2014:

So funny, but also true to life, if a little exaggerated. Love it.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on January 03, 2014:

Thanks for visiting Ladyfiddler, glad you enjoyed it. Oh No I don't hate, you care about our safety. I know.

Joanna Chandler from On Planet Earth on January 03, 2014:

LOL this is so true i guess most women are like that he he he don't hate appreciate lol. Love the poem :)

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on January 03, 2014:

Thanks Jamie, always appreciate your comments and vote up.

Jamie Lee Hamann from Reno NV on January 03, 2014:

Funny and awesome. Jamie

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on January 03, 2014:

Be very bored

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on January 03, 2014:

Thank you Eddy, glad I made you laugh.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on January 03, 2014:

Haha Mary, maybe that's what it thanks.

Jackie Lynnley from the beautiful south on January 03, 2014:

What would you do without us? lol ^

Eiddwen from Wales on January 03, 2014:

Ha ha ha love it Jodah; very clever and looking forward to many more.


Mary McShane from Fort Lauderdale, Florida on January 03, 2014:

LOL Jodah. Could this be considered advance notice (like a checklist) before getting on the road? I'm not taking up for her, mind you, but as a woman, gotta protect our species. Very cute.

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