Love Conquers All: A Misguided Phrase to Some (Prose & Poetry)
I'm Talking From My Experience Only
Love conquers all. It’s a nice sentiment to say, and if you feel that’s been the truth in your life, then I say kudos to you. However, those three little words, for me, bring up many questions since I have not seen it conquer anything in my life yet in the form of a true partnership. Matter of fact, I’m not even sure the times it was supposed to be happening in my life, that it was actually really taking place.
Love can be so one-sided. Don't you think? Again, maybe you don’t know this of which I speak of. You may have had a marriage that has lasted through the test of time. Not perfectly, but sequenced behind that little beginning phrase I wrote; Love Conquers All. It has stood the many tests of sins; lust for others being the biggest, and so you will be a blessed couple who holds hands at the end of your lives and dies within days of one another. It’s a beautiful thing, and all the best to the ones who are living the LOVE DREAM. Truly…I’m happy for you, and I mean that.
However, what about the others like me, can I just respectfully ask with the utmost kindness I can muster within my heart; Please just stop branding that b*llsh*t on us? At a point in some of our lives, we don’t want to continue to believe that stuff anymore. We would much rather rally in the fact that, for some reason, God made us in a different accord than the norm. Can we have something to hang onto please, and without judgement? After all, speaking for myself, I have no more expectations of a happy family life. I tried. It's over. I have my children whom I adore, but I want them to see mom as happy and strong without regrets. I’ve tried hard to make it this way. I hope I am succeeding not to bring them to a place where they think that if they don’t have the American Dream life, that they will be unhappy and fail.
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Leaving Failed Love And Lifestyle Behind
I wish I had been stronger and realized these things a long time ago. There is no telling what I could have achieved by now. It was the typical distraction for me that kept me focused on things out of my reach; family telling and teaching things that were just going to be an unrealistic outcome for me. I played into it and inevitably had to find out myself the hard way that God made some of us to be untypical. I suppose I'm talking for others when I say that. I’m aware of this. It’s just; I know there are others out there like me, who have wasted precious years trying to fulfill the quintessential dream of what your population of peers and elders deemed to you to be the perfect life.
If you are reading this and relate to my words, my advice to you right here and now is to stop! Whether you are twenty or fifty, just stop! Don’t continue to try to find something that “everyone else has.” If you haven’t found that yet, it either wasn’t your destiny, or it’s not supposed to be your destiny yet. I’m not saying that we were born to be alone. I’m saying we went or go about finding love the wrong way. Some of us have lost ourselves somewhere on the way of discovering who we truly are. Therefore, we haven’t allowed ourselves to find that true person for us.
A Question To Think About
So, do you believe if you let go and just be who you are, the right person will come to you? Well, I don’t know if that is true, but I think that is what I am inclined to believe now at this middle stage. I’m done wasting time on what is not right. I assume I have a one out of a hundred chance of finding Mr. Right at this time in my life, and oh well; it will be what it will be. I don’t foresee dwelling over what may not be for me anymore. It just dulls your shine, and I believe everyone is supposed to shine in their own unique way.
I Found A Freedom In My Forties
I feel so different entering halfway into my forties anyway. There is this calm and silent understanding that rests with me now. A sadness, yet an acceptance of, when I look back on my life, probably was my inevitable fate anyway. I’m alone. I have always really been alone, and I will always be alone until death do I part this world.
I’m laughing saying that, because this is where you end up if you are like me at this point, and it just becomes laughable. I wasted so much time being the living dead, faking being alive for my family and others who judged me if I seemed to be any other way but strong. Giving it all I had to be positive and never negative, but the truth is, I was exhausted, and I grew numb to that type of struggle. Then…a miracle happened; I just let it all go.
Continuing My New Found Freedom Into The Future
The word freedom takes on a different meaning for me now. When I was young, all I wanted was to grow up and feel free from childhood as mine was miserable. I'm unrestrained now from parents, who didn’t mean to, but taught a type of lifestyle that only fit for their specific type of upbringing. They never taught individuality, but somehow I managed to fight for it eventually. I think I had to go through the routine of normalcy or what they would call normalcy in order to gain it, but I did. Normal was torture for me, because I never fit the mold of that.
Now, Freedom is breaking out of the memories of mistakes, learning to accept myself finally. It really doesn’t matter or phase me if no one else does. I’ve learned how to raise my children in my own way, and I have taught them how important becoming their individual self is. Sometimes I feel like I am failing my lessons of life when it comes to my daughter, but then, I think; maybe it’s just the teenage years, and give her time, and she will find her own way. She is a confident young beauty with goals and is driven to reach them. I think she will make her dreams come true.
As for my son, he has gone through some stages of different types, and I can’t tell yet where his mind is at when it comes to his future. However, that is fine. In that way, he is so much like me; it's scary. Lol. I’ll give him space with no teachings of how you should be, but more guidance of following what his heart tells him to be.
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The End? Nah, It's Just The Beginning...
Again, the forties are funny. I feel the most successful at being me, but in turn, also very unsuccessful in getting where I want to be. I’m definitely what you would call a late bloomer for success. I have not found that yet, but then again, I suppose success is all in the way you look at it. I discovered how to be me late in life, so I’m still searching for my so-called success, but I’ll tell you something, I’m not disappointed about that. I see, in so many ways, how I have grasped that concept of being grateful and happy for what you have more than others my age. I feel sorry for the ones living in those big homes and driving those new cars, while working their lives away and struggling to maintain it all. I was there myself once upon a time, and with a sad turn of fate, ended up right back where I started with more responsibility to carry with me, yet less of that struggle to do so. It's wonderful how that has made me happy more than sad. :)
I have realized that I am happier now that I was tossed out of the struggle of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians.” Sorry it’s what I choose to say for the modern term of “Keeping Up with the Joneses.” It works right? Anyway, I love these people I have changed into over the years, and I am most happy to find the me I am going to stick with for good now. I guess when I take time to think about what I have just discussed here, my view needs to change from the beginning sentence I wrote. Love does conquer all, but it wasn't the traditional paired up one, it was the love I had for myself.
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Missy Smith
Missy Smith
The Objects Of My Life
Trees they blow in front of me,
I can feel the breeze. It taunts
me. It carries my mind to a place
of freedom in which I cling to, but
a freedom from my mind is never
quite true.
My mind stays busy all day, some
days I’m that single flower that
blooms, while other days I loom
in maddening gloom; sleeping in
slumber, only awoken to be a
mother for my children who
entered life from my womb.
My heart speaks in volumes so very
loud. It always disturbs my mental
crown. It dulls the shine with tarnish
and scratch, then stomps it to the
ground; dirt in the diamonds, yet
I will wear it proud.
A lonely pauper poet writes about
many hurtful ploys that took her love
and played with it as a toy. It took it,
shook it, spun it around and left it
alone to dust-no sound, but today
her new purpose abounds...
© 2016 Missy Smith
Comments
Rand Zacharias from Vernon, British Columbia on August 21, 2016:
Love...love...love it...so seredipitously wonderful. Just let it flow, baby...just let it flow.
I think we should all remain mysteries...dependable, but mysterious...otherwise, life is a bore, your job makes you a whore...and horror movies become a chore.
Seuss knew what he was doing...he knew the human soul needs a coal, a bowl, a mole, a doweling, a cowling, a sniveling, a driveling...Seuss was the booossttt...that poets roost...upon. :) He was catty as a batty.
He smiles and dreams of mermaids and monsters.
Missy Smith (author) from Florida on August 21, 2016:
Hey randslam, I like how you comment. Let me try to respond; mine will have a different slant though. lol
And as the waves crashed bringing the tides in closer where she sat on the sandy shore...
and as they rose up to cover her toes; she realized she would not drown with needs and wants of most anymore.
No, not anymore...she waited there until the monster of the sea spilled over the sand, covering her up, swallowing her down...
then emerging as a mermaid she would; her contented shadow displayed in the sun's glowing dismount of the day.
Yes, she too was a mystery that would never unfold. Swimming swiftly back to a spot of dry land...
continuing to carry on with her life of freedom from expectations of the common man. :)
Rand Zacharias from Vernon, British Columbia on August 20, 2016:
Wishes and needs...such a dilemma...what is a girl to do. Love? Hmmm, almost a need and definitely a wish...just have to find that lucky star and ride it to dust. He smiles, turns and walks into the sunset. A scrim of smoke floats from his left ear as he exhales and vanishes into the void of light...gone.
Missy Smith (author) from Florida on August 20, 2016:
Great advice here, Deb. I think I have done a few of these things well. I do love myself. However, I will admit; I have days of disapproval about myself. When those days appear, the feeling comes around that I need to regroup so I don't lose what I finally learned. I have, with some things, figured out that what I used to wish for is not what I wanted. It's amazing how time finds a way to show you these things if you just hang on and pay attention.
I always enjoy your comments and advice, Deb. Thanks for stopping by. :)
Deb Hirt from Stillwater, OK on August 10, 2016:
Secret #1, you have to love yourself before others can love you. A positive resonance gets you that, and that only comes with showing the world that you're top notch. Secret #2, you create your own happiness. Nobody else can, or will give it to you. Secret #3, when you find your niche, you WILL know it. Secret #4, by the time that you do all of this, you may just find that what you wished for is not what you really wanted after all.
Missy Smith (author) from Florida on July 24, 2016:
You impress me, Gypsy. You are always so full of love and happiness. It's very hard to be so full of both on a day to day basis anymore. So much turmoil we face here, but you never let that bother you. It's really nice. :)
Gypsy Rose Lee on July 24, 2016:
Love finds all of us when we least expect it and makes our lives divine.
Rand Zacharias from Vernon, British Columbia on July 23, 2016:
I agree...Drumf is so Hitlerian that it is scary...let's just hope the dems come out and vote, vote, vote. Otherwise, you're going to have to move to Canada...we stand on guard...none of this neo-Nazi shit.
Missy Smith (author) from Florida on July 23, 2016:
Hey Rand, thank you so much. Yes, let it flow!! Don't worry, I don't think your plagiarism is as noticeable as Melania Trump's was. I wouldn't even consider yours an unlawful act. Really, it was less harming to our ears for sure. Lol. I just don't get anyone who feels the Trump's would benefit our nation??? I'm scared!!
Take care, and thanks again for that lovely comment. :)
Missy Smith (author) from Florida on July 23, 2016:
Frank, I feel the same way about your writing. You give me a great story every time I go to your page, and a lot of times, much to think about. I love that. :)
Rand Zacharias from Vernon, British Columbia on July 23, 2016:
Youse awesome, Missy...let it flow, let it flow, let it flow...sung to Xmas tune music...let it snow? :)
Oops, pulled a Mellania Trump, didn't it? Haha
Frank Atanacio from Shelton on July 23, 2016:
Missy my week would not be the same until I read one of your hubs.. love the direction and the meaning.. and also the poem voted awesome my friend :)
Missy Smith (author) from Florida on July 22, 2016:
Hey Rand, I like that term "a sister of poetry." :) I would love to pick up and travel someday, and if I am able to do this one day, who knows, you might just see me venture that way. I have met so many wonderful people through social outlets; it would be nice to see some of them face to face.
That poem actually flowed out of me as I was reading your comment. So, I mean, I had to type it out. I'm a poet, and like you said, would feel like death if I did not allow myself to express it freely, especially when it hits me in an instant.
Your Dona sounds like a wonderful lady, and how blessed you were to have loved a special love. Keep hold of that. Sometimes one real true love is all we ever need to experience in order to get through life, even if in the end we leave alone. I envy many for experiencing that. I hope I find the same one day.
Be Blessed, and I'm really glad you enjoyed my vision of your love for Dona. ~Missy
Rand Zacharias from Vernon, British Columbia on July 22, 2016:
I would like you to visit me here...in Kelowna...you need to get out of your hole. I don't say this to "make moves"...it's just that Americans have no idea what they have...what we Canadians have...if you want to take a vacay...come to Canada's Little Hawaii...this is my home...only this is--it's better than Hawaii...no humidity...lol. Just sayin' ...I 'LOVE'...AND by that I mean, like a sister of poetr3e...if there would be more...well, that's between us...but I am so glad I've lit your flame once more...depression is only a "flu"...not a genetic disposition...we can overcome shit...just need to find the right toilet paper...:)/smirk...and that is a dirty, shitty smirk. Come visit...you need to see a real wine country...Napa Valley? Pshaw...shithole...come here. :)/smirk again...gawd...I hate emoticons btw...stupid ass cartoons...I make my own cartoons...for fuck's sake...I grew up with bugs, wile e., road runner, porky, mickey...all those fake fuckers...course, my next wife if Jessica Rabbit...we all saw that coming, right? I did foreshadow. :)/last smirk.
Lastly, I love your poem...captures too much of my "past", and I mean really past, shit...life goes on...Dona told me, "Rand, you're are young...fall in love again." And so he smiles and says, "I will, princess...I will...I just don't know when or who...we'll see."
Missy Smith (author) from Florida on July 22, 2016:
Hey Rand, what expression here in your comment. I loved the way you laid it out. Sweet words about your beautiful one, with a bit of raw "go to hell" to the world. I understand this anger and angst.
I also took a look at your page because I was quite curious of the woman you spoke of, and sure enough I found her there. All love stories are unique, and this does not exclude yours. I was a bit sad that some didn't get your purpose of harshness in your words. As I have gotten more and more into writing my poetry, anything goes in the world of expression. They didn't dig deep enough into your thoughts that's all.
Now, I don't know how this happened. This is the first time it has, but your story has inspired me. Your beautiful one has lifted my pen to paper and given me words to share. So, I must share them here with you, right?
MY BEAUTIFUL ONE
Written by: Missy Smith
Love was true, yet with
much ado the harsh
earth swallowed us up.
Living in a hole for so...
so long, I stayed for
spirits fight...
She wasn't well, that
hardcore smell of death
covered our minds...
Then it came, time to fill
this home the universe
had assigned...
So out I crawled as the
cold dirt poured in to
cool her suffering fail...
I took a while to grieve
and curse, then alas, the
wind hit my sail...
It drifted me to a stronger
sea, an understanding
deep within...
I know nothing lasts
forever now, but forever
can begin again...
I hope your days get better and your new forever is happy with concentration on what you want to do. Give it your all, and never regret.
Thank you for your kind words here. ~Missy
Rand Zacharias from Vernon, British Columbia on July 21, 2016:
Love your stuff...can be depressing as hell, but at least it's honest. You know the muslims brought us romance, right? The idea of love was conjured by the Mohammedans well before the English begin their literary quests and were still wearing silly skirts and grunting like the Celtic drivel that they are to this day...haha...that's just a white man calling the Brits crap...well, I am, cuz my ancestors were barbaric Germans...the very Frankish lot that bore the celts and their ill-born ilk...lol...I do love beating up on the English...they think they're so high and mighty with their accents...I just find them annoying...lol.
Again, I jest, but I can only do this after have lost and loved...even tho the love wasn't perfect...she had me thrown in jail twice even tho I was faultless--this is what happens when cancer attacks the mind and schizophrenia is borderline in one's personality...lol...not mine...hers.
But, alas, she has passed to the four winds...to the sky...
I totally get your theory of love...I hardly believe it exists until after we have lost something that we love or loved without knowing it? Know what I mean? Like writing poetry...what if you couldn't write anymore? Wouldn't you want to die?
I was depressed right up to June of this year...for two years...it was becuz we both knew...she was dying.
I'm much better now, but my fight continues...I have to fight for everything I want to happen in my life...not hers, not my family's, and not my kids' lives...my life...it is all I have and I'm gonna enjoy it god damn it...I don't care if it kills me...it's gonna be fun, literary, creative...and say "fuck you" to the planet. Cuz quite frankly, the planet's been fucking me for the last fifteen years...and I' m done...my turn...hehehe...and wait'll they get a load of my art...it's gonna blow some minds...minds that need to be blown. I'm so tired of simpleton christians...duh...put themselves on a cross and us on spits...well, that's just bad bbqin' in my books...I ain't going to that picnic no mo...no mo. And neither should you. Missy Smith...I'm glad you're takin' control and headin' down the highway...lookin' for adventure and whatever comes your way with you and the kids...:)...good luck...and good wishes...this has been a randslam rant...brought to you by the maker of randArT...rand himself. :) :) :)...three smiles...a good start. :) oops, four...
Missy Smith (author) from Florida on July 21, 2016:
Hey Paula, I would love to be able to sit with you and chat for hours as well. I bet we wouldn't get bored for a lack of conversation topics. You already understand me; we are most definitely alike. You and I both know you can never quite leave the past behind, but you use it as a guide instead of live in it. It turned out it was a helpful tool to gain maturity and wisdom with.
There are so many things that I like about myself at this point of life, and I may not have what others have, but I realize, like I said in this article of prose, that I wouldn't want what they have. I got a very big taste of the life of expectations, and I would rather not anymore, to be honest.
Being yourself is really all that should be expected anyway, isn't it? You stated that perfectly. When you get down to it, that's what surviving your life is about. It's about being the best version of yourself that you can be, and forgetting the rest. It's about being brave enough to block out those who say you aren't doing it right, and know your path is unique, and it will take you somewhere peaceful at the end.
You are a special type of person, Paula. You always seem to know just what to say to someone. It's your caring nature, and I'm glad you're a friend of mine. :) Love and Hugs, ~Missy
Suzie from Carson City on July 21, 2016:
Missy, Missy, Missy.....How I wish I could sit with you for hours, face to face. I would listen intently and learn what makes you tick as best I could. So much of what you share of your life, past & present, rings so familiar to me~~perhaps reminds me of the sad songs I can still relate to after all these years. Just as happy moments linger, so too does much of the pain we endured. It's not suppose to go completely away forever. For how else do we stay awake, aware and alert? How else do we elude mistakes we've already made and learned from?
I'm thrilled for you that you have uncovered the woman within. We sometimes spend so much of life hiding from her or worse, attempting to squelch her, we are pleasantly surprised to learn what a wise & independent woman she is. She is true freedom. That lovely inner woman will stand with you, proud & strong.
Being you is all that's ever been expected of you. You've taken the right path. Let it lead you where it will, Missy. Hugs, Paula
Missy Smith (author) from Florida on July 20, 2016:
Hey Jodah,
Out of all the lovely comments and support here, I always know that yours is going to be the one that truly gets me on an in depth level.
Like I told Bill, your love to your beautiful wife inspires me as well. I certainly do know that even love is not always easy to maintain. I wish I wasn't the only one who knew that in my relationships. Unfortunately, they decided to learn that with someone else, but you know that's just alright with me; it wasn't the love I needed. :)
I hope I do find a love like you, and Bill have with your lovely wives, but I'm not going to dwell on the possibility that it will never happen for me anymore. Nope, I think I'll love myself for a while and enjoy everything and everyone around me at this point in life.
Love you friend of mine. ~Missy
Missy Smith (author) from Florida on July 20, 2016:
Hey again Venkat, and I love to know that I have found such wonderful moral support here. I actually love writing personal hubs more than ones that are full of facts, so thank you for liking my personal thoughts and giving me support. Many Blessings to you! ~Missy
Missy Smith (author) from Florida on July 20, 2016:
Hey Bill,
Yes, I love yours and Bev's love. It's very inspiring. That's why I stated in my summary, and in my first few paragraphs that I do love people who have this type of love. I love to hear about it. It gives me some hope. What I don't particularly like, is the constant nagging I get from family about why I may not have found that yet, and how to go about getting it. I just don't think I need those types of lessons. I have done nothing wrong for love to have left me like it did.
I agree with you, the stage you mention is the point that I am at now in my life; letting go and just being me. I don't look for love, although I don't shut it out from a possibility if it were to show up unexpected.
Thanks for your kind words of support, Bill. Love always to you and your Bev. ~Missy
John Hansen from Australia (Gondwana Land) on July 20, 2016:
Hi Missy, it is always good to read your hubs and reflect on our own lives and ourselves. My own life isn't always wine and roses, and I wouldn't even try to keep up with the Kardashians (I like that term). Even being in a loving relationship is not always easy, but no matter how difficult things get "love does (help) conquer all." I admire the good job you are doing bringing up your kids as a single mom and it sounds like you have some busy years ahead. Never give up, you may find that true love when you least expect it...or it may find you.
Venkatachari M from Bangalore, India on July 20, 2016:
That's good, Missey. That is what I want you to do. You are quite determined what you should do. I am glad hearing this. You keep on moving ahead. Occasionally you can share your thoughts here. That doesn't matter. It is a kind of moral support that you can get from all good people here. My blessings once again.
Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on July 20, 2016:
I surrendered ten years ago. Before that I was a captive of my own insecurities and fear and anger and........no need to go on. Suffice it to say once I gave up my willpower, which was self-destructive on the best of days, then life slowly improved. True love? I didn't believe in it for decades....with Bev I finally get it....and I found her purely by accident....or did I? Questions like that are far too complicated for me to tackle on this Wednesday morning.
Peace to you, my friend, and thank you for sharing so much of yourself.
Missy Smith (author) from Florida on July 20, 2016:
Hey Venkat,
It is sort of depressing, but I am doing just what you suggest, and I keep myself engaged with other life distractions. I'm taking a course in medical transcription, I write here, and of course I have a busy job with my children. School for them will be starting back soon, and I've even taken on another big responsibility there by deciding to home school my son this year. I just received all his books today, and I have to say, it looks like a busy year. My daughter is entering the tenth grade this year, and we have been in a mentoring scholarship program that we will be working more on these next couple of years to prepare her for college after graduation in about three more years. So, plenty to keep me busy as always.
I'm not as sad as I used to be. That's what I tried to convey here. My forties have been wonderful in awakening me and helping me to appreciate the little things, and I really think I am proud of myself more these days. When I look back, it's a great feat that I have achieved thus far; I have raised my children all alone for many years now. Anyone who has kids can relate to how tough that is, single parents for sure.
I'm not particularly proud of this article or the poetry. I started writing this one like three hubs ago. I stopped to write about other issues and have just now made it back to write about love and life again. I wanted to write about a different subject, but since I had already started this one about a month ago, decided I would at least pick it up and try to finish. I needed to move away from political and social issues.
I'm so glad you stopped by and put in your concern for me along with some well-advised advice. I always appreciate that. You are a very caring person, Venkat. Thank You! ~Missy
Venkatachari M from Bangalore, India on July 20, 2016:
Reading your hub made me feel very sad and sorry for you. I was expecting that you will find somebody who loves you as you are even at this stage. But I am much disturbed seeing that you found none till now. Anyhow, you should be brave now to face anything and let it go. Try to be happy always spending your time with your children and engaging yourself in some work or other. My hearty blessings to you and your children.
