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Lost Innocence / September 11 2001

Born without a clue. A lifetime later, situation largely unchanged. Nevertheless, one perseveres.....



Initially, I gaped with the rest of the world at the television as I saw the ghastly tragedy unfolding and found myself empathising, as we all did, with the horrific human entrapments forcing unbearable personal choices (burn or jump).

Much as my feelings were tinged with the thought that people being bombed and burned in third world countries, courtesy of our tax contributions, were facing similar impossible choices on a daily basis, I couldn’t help but identify with my first world cousins as they faced the unfaceable; people who could easily have been my neighbours or sat beside me in the bars and coffee shops and public spaces of our shared lifestyle. This was doubly enhanced by the fact that I had good friends and a brother living in Manhattan at the time.

As the first theories about whodunnit began to emerge (within about 20 minutes of first impact!) I have to admit to being grudgingly impressed by the alleged organisational prowess of “Al Qaeda”. What an amazing feat of execution. What an exemplary target – a strike at the very epitome of the symbolism of global capitalism.

So I was not a disbeliever at that point. Like everyone else, I was just profoundly moved by the personal tragedies, but also deeply impressed by the extraordinary pinpoint precision of the planning and delivery.

It was only later that query points began to arise through the social media. For a start, how could our “intelligence” services - the most advanced on the planet - not have seen this coming, and yet, within 20 minutes, begin circulating briefings about who was behind it? But even then, I thought, well, let’s see what the investigation and the forensics throws up. No point in jumping the gun until some of the hard evidence is laid out.

But, strangely, there appeared to be a hiatus on investigation. There didn’t seem to be a command and control in place at the scene of the crime; no czar empowered and placed in charge of getting straight to the heart of the matter and deep into the examination of the known facts.

In fact, the crime scene itself, far from being protected with rolls of coloured crime scene tape and armed police on hand to assure the forensics weren’t meddled with, was being plundered; scooped out by heavy machinery and taken across the Hudson River to Metal Management Northeast of Newark, NJ to be cut up and sold off! From there, much of it was shipped out - within days - to India and, of all places, China!

Those of us awaiting a concise and reasoned report were to experience the whole “Warren Commission” phenomenon all over again. There was one major difference however. Whilst Warren was commissioned within 7 days of the event, the Boy Bush didn’t get round to commissioning anything until 441 days after the event!

And even that was held up further by Bush’s nomination of the vile monster, Henry Kissinger, as its lead. This odious meddler in and assassin of struggling third world governments raised so many hackles among even the toadying corporate media that the idiot Bush had to back off and find someone less overtly evil.

He eventually settled on a couple of nondescripts - Thomas Kean, and his Vice Chair Lee Hamilton - and gave them a budget of $15 million. This might seem a lot, until you consider the fact that over $60 million was spent on investigating Bill Clinton’s blow job. And even these tame Bush appointees Kean and Hamilton later went on record, both of them, to say that they felt that the inquiry was “set up to fail” (Washington Post 2/8/06).

And the final product was the most threadbare and contradictory “official” narrative of them all. By now my lost innocence was beginning to draw me down the rabbit hole. I bought a copy of the ridiculous “9/11 Commission Report” and the associated .pdf file so that I could read (and word search) everything first hand.

My paltry findings were knocked together in “Is Questioning Conspiracy” and led me into yet further readings and researches. The 9/11 Truth groups began to emerge and raise important queries completely overlooked by the Commission. Most notably among the “for 9/11 Truth” movement were/are “Architects and Engineers”, “Press”, “Firefighters”, “Airline Pilots”, “9/11 Families”, all with websites and mailing lists.

Among these there was and is very little emphasis on “whodunnit”. That would be a “conspiracy theory”. No, the emphasis is almost exclusively on calls for answers to unanswered questions and to contradictions in many of the answers that were provided. All of which still remain unanswered and unresolved.

Now incapable of taking any “official” narratives at face value, a whole new murky world began to reveal itself. The aforementioned patterns began to re-emerge with more consistency and certainty. A litany of dubious “official” narratives, supported uncritically by mainstream media toads, began to be trotted out in the aftermath of 9/11.


To mention a few:

2003: The pursuit of “Weapons of Mass Destruction” in Iraq. Saddam Hussein, originally, like Osama Bin Laden before him, a CIA “asset”, was now being reviled by the corporate media as the human rights abuser he always was. The idiot Bush, supported single-handedly by the idiot Blair, combined these themes through a concocted “intelligence” report pointing out that the entire planet was at risk from these weapons in the hands of a non-US-approved abuser of human rights (plenty of other monster abusers had and have US backing). So war had to be declared, thousands upon thousands of Iraqis had to be killed, and the infrastructure had to be blown apart such that only American corporations - at enormous US tax-payer cost - could be relied upon to restore everything - especially the flow of oil - once the fighting was over. So our poor young men were again called upon to fire advanced weaponry at the poor in Iraq to advance the corporate agendas of our rich fat men.

2008: Although the spectacular collapse of Enron occurred in December 2001, led straight to the bottom by “the smartest men in the room” and taking with it the massive Arthur Anderson accounting outfit, no corrective measures were taken. Despite this early indication of how unstable the entire western economy had become since restrictions on bank gambling had been lifted by Reagan/Thatcher, the frenzied institutional gambling continued unabated.

When some other “smart men” came up with the brilliant idea of bundling sub-prime (unrepayable) mortgages into single lumps and then selling slices of those lumps to “spread the risk”, supposedly intelligent and informed investors flocked aboard. When the introductory terms of those mortgages expired and the inevitably unaffordable new repayment schedules kicked in, those bundles and those slices quickly became worthless. The 2008 crash and the publicly funded massive bail out came and went and thousands upon thousands of Americans became homeless.

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This was of course followed by - business as usual. The Chief Execs of the gambling institutions who had run to government for free bail out money (yet again from we the tax-payers) got bonuses in the millions and carried on buying and selling anything and everything - including rudderless opportunistic politicians.

2011: The “termination” of Osama Bin Laden. No, we couldn’t cross examine him. He had, in the “national interest”, to be shot to pieces and hoiked out of a helicopter into the sea! And we know all this is true because, although we couldn’t compromise “the national interest” by seeing it ourselves, we had the actual proof of actually watching Barrack Obama actually watching actual footage of the actual whole thing. So Barrack. Well done you. (Anybody who thinks the prince of saintly cool always had the people’s best interests at heart should have a watch of Michael Moore’s footage of Barrack’s visit to Flint, Michigan - home of corporate poisoning of the public water supply. His PR betrayal of that poor beleaguered community is deeply disturbing and heart-breaking.)

2016: “Brexit” - the 23/6/16 “referendum”. Quite apart from the fact that a referendum, especially a badly framed one, is supposed to be for guidance and not a binding vote like an election, it became obvious that something dodgy had happened. The infamous Cambridge Analytica had, with massive and dubious financial backing - much of it from the very gambling institutions so recently “bailed out” by us - stuck its oar into the whole process. Stoking the Fear & Hatred fires with outright lies about immigrants and “loss of sovereignty”, they managed to bamboozle enough nationalist hysteria to sway the vote. The very citizens hardest hit by “austerity” and subjected to mis and dis information on an industrial scale, struck out blindly at Europe as the root cause of all their troubles.

2016: Then came the travesty of the November 2016 US election, when an even bigger fool than the Boy Bush won on the ticket of not being on the bankster funded “establishment” band wagon like Mrs Bill Clinton. All the pundits knew he couldn’t possibly win because his glaringly self-evident bombast, childish egotistical idiocy, and appalling ignorance were so blindingly obvious to all but the dumbest Americans.

But those same pundits didn’t reckon with all the good work they’d put in helping to dumb down Americans as part of the Fear & Hatred programme for so many years. Many of us reckoned there were now probably enough dumb Americans out there to swing the vote. And so it came to be. Amidst Fear & Hatred press campaigns about invading Mexicans and “Russian intervention” in the sacred US democratic process, the unthinkable outcome of a complete and utter moron in the Presidency was achieved. But of course, he was yanked into line in no time. Having publicly reviled the US “intelligence” community during the election, he quickly became their dumbest and most obedient servant, even more pliable (but for the occasional delusionary outburst) than the idiot Bush before him.

2017: Amidst all this, in 2017 an authentically socialist leader of the Labour Party came, against all corporate expectations, within a few thousand votes of becoming Prime Minister. Suddenly hope began to seep back into the grassroots UK political sphere. Even with the slow realisation that elements of the Party itself had and continued to conspire against the man, Jeremy Corbyn managed to generate a growing optimism that perhaps, at long last, we could get a head of government with principles and commitments which might remain intact as he ascended to high office. Membership of the Party shot up as young people flooded to the call. Despite persistent and shameful back-stabbing from other Labour MPs, Corbyn and his team’s manifesto continued to generate support and swell the ranks.

This continued apace as Conservatives tore each other apart over Brexit. But their disunity was overcome with the advent of yet another profound idiot in the form of a fat etonian under the guidance of a Cambridge Analytica styled shadow man - the self-righteous Dominic Cummings. To his credit (and the credit of the toadying corporate media), Cummings managed to get the idiot Johnson to seem, in clear opposition to reality, both caring and capable.

But even so, it became apparent that some serious attention had to be paid to the rising Corbyn agenda. Support for him and the Manifesto continued to grow among people who could read more than the witty headlines of the racist Sun and the bigoted Daily Mail. And it was in the addressing of this concern that the true nature of corporate media and its control at the hands of just a few oligarchs was flushed out and thrown into perspective with a clarity hitherto unseen. So desperate were they that they were forced to create and push a campaign of “anti-Semitism” against undoubtedly the least racist or prejudiced man in UK public life. Some very dubious leaders of the Jewish community, supported by even more dubious members of the Parliamentary Labour Party, swung into the attack by using the distorted logic of claiming that anyone who defended Palestinians had to be “anti-Semitic”. As all this was getting underway, Cummings called for a snap election.

2019: So, with all the stops pulled out and darkening winter nights approaching, the UK was launched into yet another national campaign. Adopting a strategy of keeping the idiot Johnson as much out of the public eye as possible, Cummings masterminded a reprise of the Brexit lies and distortions. The most promising leader in recent history was buried under a landslide of Cambridge Analytica style mis and dis information abounding on a truly massive scale. Together with the totally supine compliance of the corporate media and massive intervention by heavily funded anti-Palestinian elements, and with much of Labour’s own Party machinery working against him, Corbyn lost and stood down as Party Leader. The fat be-wigged etonian-without-a-clue strode further into centre stage and, in fairly short order, demonstrated his blundering buffoonery such that even the corporate media began to question his competence and even his basic common sense.

2020: The pet theme of every Conservative government since World War II has been the dismantling of the National Health Service - the only real gain of the entire war for the long-suffering sacrificial war generation. With rampant American institutional gamblers slavering for a piece of this beautiful and iconic service - a shining example to the world - our newly elected gate-keepers began, in direct contradiction of their own campaign promises, to slice it up and sell it off.

And amidst all this, there came Covid. With the NHS on its underfunded knees, it’s suddenly facing the biggest crisis in its history. And are they being funded to deal with it? No, of course not. Our tax contributions are instead being funnelled into private speculator entities to deal with all the aspects the NHS itself was set up to handle.


something bad is happening

By now, having experienced all of the above, I was finding it very difficult to accept the “official” line on anything. I simply found myself unable to trust the government or the mainstream media any more than I could accept the bulk of the raving lunacies on the social media. “Fake news” indeed. From every quarter, but especially the “mainstream”.

I began to feel instead a dreadful, slow, retrospective realisation dawning. Clearly something isn’t right. Clearly something overarchingly bad is happening. The patterns keep emerging and re-emerging.

I find I can no longer accept that all this perpetual grimness is entirely purposeless; that there isn’t some orchestration taking place. There’s even the sense that there’s less and less need for stealth. Events (and their “official” explanations) seem to be more and more in your face; actuated and presented with more and more sheer effrontery and contempt.

And of course it’s not just me. All sorts of credible commentators appear to be coming to similar sorts of conclusions. Even elements of Hollywood (bless it) seem to have been trying to raise the lid (if you’re interested, see a random and non-comprehensive film list below).

So, what to do. Just like you, I’d rather focus on fun things. Just like you, I don’t really want to get off my arse and do something I know I’m not going to enjoy, especially when I could be outside with my lovely daughter, tramping across the hills and streams and stone circles of the glorious moors. But of course, she is part of the problem. I feel I owe her a better world, but that I’ve let her down terribly. (See “A Squandered Life”.) She and her generation are being left to clean up the horrific mess I and my generation have created. How can I abandon her to all this dread, this planetary destruction, this rotten oligarch-ridden global economy, this enormous and growing gap between haves and have-nots, all propagated and accelerated in my lifetime?

Insofar as my lengthy incubating Innocence finally crumbled in the wake of 9/11, I decided I needed to go back to that horrific event and begin to explore it more deeply, to venture, unfunded and alone, further down the rabbit hole...

NEXT Instalment: Lost Innocence / Whodunnit

PREVIOUS Instalment: Lost Innocence / September 11 2001

some films

Random selection; no particular order:

Wag The Dog, Margin Call, The Big Short, The Company Men, Michael Clayton, Eyes Wide Shut, Fahrenheit 9/11

© 2021 Deacon Martin

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