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Life is Beautiful- Admire its Beauty

An artist,a poet at heart & a teacher by profession, pursuing masters in psychology now. Passionate about reading & writing the expressions.

Life is Beautiful: Admire its Beauty

life-is-beautiful-admire-its-beauty

Face the World

Each of us has to face the adversities of the world,

Whether we are divine or devil, rich or poor, young or old;

Whether we are in a huge crowd or living all alone,

At times there is no one to listen to our agonical moan,

Even in the crowd no one can attend to our miserable tone.

We all have to face the world with full confidence,

Which shall never be broken by any disturbance;

Have faith on yourself and listen to your conscience,

Which is the sole guide of yours that stays till the end,

It indeed helps to make decisions being true eternal friend.


Personal Experience

I have been a very shy and sensitive child. I couldn’t make any friends in my school till my twelfth grade and felt as if I had always been neglected by everyone. This made me very under confident girl. I couldn’t speak in public. I was not able to utter a word on stage, though I had practiced well for the same. This made me really too negative and naive sort of personality.

I was married to a highly qualified handsome man, who loved me a lot. But I always doubted on him. I was not even graduated or as smart as him. I always felt that he will leave me for some better girl. We were blessed with two very beautiful angels in our life. Everything was going well for ten years of our marriage till the teenage love of my husband came back in his life.

I was pregnant with my second daughter and he stopped interacting with me. He was not even picking up my calls from his office or spending anytime with me. One night I checked his phone and found all the conversation of my husband with his newly found beloved. It took me three hours from 3am to 6am to go through the messages of both of them on whatsapp. That was the time, I really wished to kill myself. He was fast asleep, I went to the balcony to jump from our seventh floor apartment, but it was not easy. I couldn’t jump. I stood there for a few hours but couldn’t take that step. It might be that fear that along with my own life, I was to take the life of a little one who had not even seen the world yet.

I tried other ways as well using a few of the sleeping pills and then cutting my wrist with a blade. But neither of the acts were smart enough to help me in getting rid of my life.

Dreams Broken Down

life-is-beautiful-admire-its-beauty

Beauty of Life Ignored all the Time

I'd been an average girl. Not so smart that I could get admission in any of the Medical Universities of my country. Though since childhood I wished to be a doctor. It was again not a dream framed by myself but by the society and my closed ones of my family, especially my father. He felt like a failure when I couldn't compete in the medical college entrance examination, so did I. I remember one of my classmate poisoning herself for this failure.

Though I was strong enough and wanted to live for my family. I wanted to make my parents happy and as per their wish I was married to a really one of the most handsome creature that I know. He did love me a lot. We had an outstanding time together with all the sort of marital arguments, understanding for each other and a sort of spiritual connection. I believed him as my God (as any Indian lady) and used to take fasts for his well being. But nothing came to rescue me when he announced that I didn't matter anything for him in his life and he clearly stated that I was not the dream girl of his life.

I was so shattered that I couldn't hold myself. Neither could I talk with anyone nor sit quietly. It's very difficult for a lady to explain when the husband leaves us when she has a little baby in her hand. All the fingers come on the lady misinterpreting everything. Thanks to my husband he never spread any bad publicity of mine, just stayed away from me and the two innocent kids.

Now, I had my two angels for whom I had to spend my rest of the life. Overall, what was their fault? Just this much that they were born to live this life with such problematic parents! I visited my family doctor as used to get unconscious, was not getting the strength even to stand on my legs and could see only darkness around me. After all the tests which was alright she advised me to get help from psychiatric as what I was facing was not a sort of physical ailment. I needed some psychiatric help soon or else the depression would make me mad and it would be much more problematic than the situation I was in.

I went to the psychiatric and she listened the whole story from me very patiently and gave me a few medicines. There was no change at all. I was the same. The thought of killing myself never ever popped up in my mind as I had already made it believe that I have to live for my daughters. My in laws were always very supportive to me and with their help I was able to complete my Masters and Bed from Indira Gandhi National Open University. I got a job of English Teacher in a good school and started to have a new life with my kids.

Within three years I shifted from one school to other in hope of better prospects and opportunities but was never satisfied with any of the institutions or their regulations, as I was somehow not satisfied with myself. Meanwhile, I tried all the places where I could attain the peace of mind. I visited Brahmakumaris, Sahajyoga, Rajyoga, karmayoga, Art of Living, Osho and many more such institutes of man made Gods where one human is prayed as God. I tried to find out peace everywhere but that didn’t help me. I just gained a sort of experience at each and every place.

What really helped me was the artist within me. I loved to compose poems since childhood, but it was never accepted or recognized by anyone in my family. So once I started to write my feelings in poems, I started to spend some time in making a few paintings or listening to music, I found that it was all within me. I started reading a few books like, Ask and it is given, The Secret, Think and Grow Rich, The New Earth, The 5 am Club and of course watched a few wonderful movies which transformed me from what I always had been.

Here, I learned no one else can take away the charm of mine unless I myself leave it. I learned that the peace of mind that I was searching everywhere was within me. Unless and until I started to love myself, I started to respect myself, and be contented with what I already had, I was depressed and dejected. But the moment I understood that my rights are only on me and not on my surroundings the people around me, I started to transform myself with proper introspection practicing regular meditation in my daily routine.

People fall prey to their problems and the easiest way that they find is to end their life and run away from them rather than struggling to go ahead. We all know from the history and from the examples of the world famous personalities that one is able to come ahead of others only when one doesn't kneel down when come across the difficult roads but fight with the full strength.

My Story

It's no more different from any other story,

Where the protagonist longs for the glory,

Even in the adversities, eagers to be merry,

Here I'm to narrate the history from her diary.

The first page she had left blank in confusion

Thinking whether to disclose or hide her derision,

Finally took the decision to conceal but mention

As it would have created more pain than relaxation.

She started to state the rest with sheer conviction

Gathering every readers' and listeners' attention.

'A Lost Identity' was at the top as her introduction

From where she starts to share her perception.

"I believed I was the best, blessed with everything

That's required for an Indian girl for a luxurious living

Being the eldest I have got almost all the privilege

In the joint family with some sort of royal heritage.

Aspiring to be at the pinnacle through all the obstacles

I considered that all my dreams will become real

As I contemplated myself as a god gifted child special

Mixing every reality with what actually was virtual.

Neither my parents nor teachers could tame me

And I emerged out as a revolutionary individual

Seeking spiritualism in various sort of animals

I lost faith in the Almighty and His beloved humans.

It was not just because of any particular situation

But the cause was nothing but lack of motivation

That even provoked me to reach for the salvation

Without even fulfilling what was in my authorization.

How indigent I had been that I couldn't even see

Or listen to the reality that was so close to me!

With the help of the light burnt with the wisdom free

I started to live with strength, knowledge and dignity.

Today I can claim with the dissolved agitation

Along with my inner self filled with consideration,

Anyone like me can change the prepared presentation

With a ray of hope enlightened with internal inspiration."

Though I've seen her growing into a matured one

From the naive, ignorant girl to an ideal woman,

I know very well that there's still a lot hidden

Even from her own self, what's lying within.

People Who Couldn't Stand Firm

In my life, I have seen a few people around me so depressed that they had to kill themselves. I remember three such cases in the last four years where the students killed themselves.

  • A student of 6th grade jumped from a school's building just because her teacher said that she will complain about her mis conducts in the class to her parents. The teacher had to suffer because of that drastic step of the child.
  • A student of tenth standard jumped from her home building as she didn't get good grades in her examination.
  • A medical aspirant poisoned herself as she couldn't compete in the preliminary examination.

Then there were a few many others who were not happy with their life and wanted to end their lives just because they were not able to meet the expectations of their parents or the expectations set by themselves.

Everyone is facing some sort of problem in one's life. But one is able to struggle well when one has got such a company who is going to give the shoulder whenever it is required.

But in today's so called technological world everyone gets so much engrossed in their own world and privacy that the real world is hidden in the silhouette of the virtual world. People reach to some zenith point with their hard work and dedication but at even at that point they need a company to share a few moments to spend some quality time in which something that is rotting out in the mind can be released.

Make Your Heart Strong Enough To Face Every Storm

Broken Ice might be worthless

But not the broken hearts,

The heart is like a stone

Which is still used if broken;

The heart is like a broken clay,

which can be mended again and again'

Till there is little light of hope within.


An unrequited love or a broken relation,

Do cause a lot of unbearable pain,

But the heart knows to beat even then,

And with a new bloom of love it flourishes again.

No doubt heart is tender and filled with compassion,

But it's not so feeble to break with every treason,

Rather it becomes firm and better companion.


Make your heart strong enough to face every storm

The life will keep showering upon you colours of rain.



This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2020 Anupam Mitu

Comments

Anupam Mitu (author) from MUMBAI on September 29, 2020:

Thank you so much Denise.

Lots of love and blessings dear.

You know, since I left visiting facebook, I'm getting more time for hubpages and I don't repent getting addicted to this.

It's awesome to read people like you and be read by you people.

Denise McGill from Fresno CA on September 27, 2020:

I really feel your pain. My first husband wanted to stay with me but had many other lovers and I couldn't live like that. I'm so glad you found the truly unique and creative woman within yourself.

Blessings,

Denise

manatita44 from london on July 09, 2020:

Yes. Sri Daya Mata, one of Yogananda's Disciples, wrote a book called 'Only Love.' Her elder Sri Gyanamata wrote 'God Alone.' Papa Ramdas's Krishnabai wrote 'Guru's Grace.

(Kripa). Different ways of saying the same thing. Sums it up.

Intense Faith in Shivji, like Swami Shivananda of Rishikesh and a burning intensity to serve God in man is needed. As the selfless service increases, so will the spiritual Heart expand and inner intensity. Jai Shivji! Jai Ram!

Anupam Mitu (author) from MUMBAI on July 09, 2020:

I am really humbled by your words manatita44. Yes God is there and I do believe in his existence. I am an ardent follower of Shiva who is known to be infinite and shapeless.

Hug you back for your divine gesture.

God bless you my dear friend. And when our companion is Him only, then we don't need to worry at all. :-)

manatita44 from london on July 09, 2020:

God is and has been my companion for many years. Indeed, I'm only a tiny instrument of Ram.

You tell an amazing story and your poetry is real. Perhaps God wants you to serve in some way, who knows.

You are blessed and have always been blessed. The Inner Pilot wants you to offer a dharma that no one else can. You seem to be doing well. The past is dust, for we are always in the Eternal Now.

Such a beautiful Hub! I'm so happy that you are here to share with us! Hugs to you three.

John Hansen from Queensland Australia on July 06, 2020:

Namaste to you Anupam. Thank you for your kind words and respect. It is a pleasure to have you as a student and friend.

Miebakagh Fiberesima from Port Harcourt, Rivers State, NIGERIA. on July 06, 2020:

Blogger own by Google is another.

Chitrangada Sharan from New Delhi, India on July 06, 2020:

Hello again Anupam.

I am sorry, I am not aware of any Hindi website to write. But, there are many I believe, as I come across people sharing their writing on Facebook. A Google search might be of help. And, if I come to know of some such website, I would share the link with you. You can start your own website at wordpress too.

Wish you happiness and all the best, in your writing endeavors.

Anupam Mitu (author) from MUMBAI on July 06, 2020:

Thank you so much dear Chitrangada. You are right dear, sometimes we get inspired from the steps of others. I too was motivated by my own responsibilities. And later I found that miseries of my life were nothing as compared to the atrocities in the life of many others around me.

I guess you might have heard the song "duniya me kitna gam hai, mera gam kitna kam hai"

And as you are from New Delhi, can you please suggest any such authentic website like Hubpages to express ourselves in hindi?

Thank you so much

Lots of love and blessings

Chitrangada Sharan from New Delhi, India on July 06, 2020:

This was heartfelt, Anupam. I am so sorry to read that you had to undergo so much of mental stress, due to the sad circumstances in your life.

But, the good part is that you have survived the atrocities, and come out as a stronger person, more confident, more determined. No challenges, Nothing can depress you anymore.

I am sure, this article will help many, who may be in a similar situation, but are afraid to share their story with someone. This would inspire them, give them courage. This is the beauty and responsibility of a good writer. You don’t even realise, how many lives are getting positively impacted by you.

Thank you so much for sharing. Take care.

Liza from USA on July 05, 2020:

Blessings to you too, Anupam. Have a fantastic weekend :)

Anupam Mitu (author) from MUMBAI on July 05, 2020:

Thank you so much Liza

Lots of love and blessings

Anupam Mitu (author) from MUMBAI on July 05, 2020:

Thank you dear Manuela. If my story helps others or inspire others I am planning to write an autobiography soon. There might be so many secrets that I would be revealing publicly, which is actually a kind of taboo in my country.

Anupam Mitu (author) from MUMBAI on July 05, 2020:

John, at first 'Namaste'. Today is 'Guru Purnima', the day when we Indians show our due respect to our teachers, our mentors or to the ones from whom we have learnt anything.

Huge respect for you John. You are such a humble fellow, who came to rescue a naive like me. I wish to be connected with you to learn more and more. Consider me as your student.

Thank you for your love and guidance

Best wishes John.

Anupam Mitu (author) from MUMBAI on July 05, 2020:

Thank you so much dear Lorna.

Yes dear, I am blessed with the two angels that I am bestowed with. They make my life heaven. God bless them.

God bless you all.

Lots of love from my heart dear.

Anupam Mitu (author) from MUMBAI on July 05, 2020:

Oh Ruby! So sorry to hear that! But dear, definitely you did the best thing as the life doesn't stop just because we are not granted with everything that our heart desires. We do need to learn to adapt ourselves and be stronger with the adversaries we face in our lives.

In my life as well it was just a phase and after so long that remains as a general story to me. Time has made me much more spiritual and practical.

Lots of love and blessings dear.

Anupam Mitu (author) from MUMBAI on July 05, 2020:

JC Scull, thanks for reading

Liza from USA on July 05, 2020:

Stay strong, Anupam. Thank you for sharing your story with the readers.

Manuela from Portugal on July 04, 2020:

I think you are a very brave woman, Thank you for having the courage to share your story and your feelings with us.

Miebakagh Fiberesima from Port Harcourt, Rivers State, NIGERIA. on July 04, 2020:

I wholly agreed.

John Hansen from Queensland Australia on July 04, 2020:

Anupam, my friend, what can I say. Thank you for sharing your heartbreaking story, but You came through it, and it made you a stronger person. It seems I need to go and read your earlier article I may have missed. Thank you for sharing your personal story, and your beautiful poetry. I shall email you.

Miebakagh Fiberesima from Port Harcourt, Rivers State, NIGERIA. on July 04, 2020:

I agreed.

Lorna Lamon on July 04, 2020:

I feel that even though your journey has been extremely painful the fact that you have survived tells of your strong spirit and inner belief. We have to love ourselves and be our own best friend.

You have managed to overcome so much and have so much to look forward to. I can see this in your adorable daughters. Beautiful photos Anupam and I am touched by your poems. Keep looking forward. Lots of Love.

Ruby Jean Richert from Southern Illinois on July 04, 2020:

This was heartbreaking to read. You are so beautiful! I could relate with your story. My first husband chose another woman, I was so hurt, I left. He begged for forgiveness but I couldn't forgive him. He committed suicide. I have had to live with that. I am happily remarried now, but there were times when I thought of suicide, so I feel deeply for you. We both have much to live for, your girls are very sweet and beautiful. I love your poetry and your honesty. Be happy and well. Hugs...

Miebakagh Fiberesima from Port Harcourt, Rivers State, NIGERIA. on July 04, 2020:

Anupam, welcome to HP. I'll glad to read the third part. Thanks.

JC Scull from Gainesville, Florida on July 04, 2020:

Very well done Anupam.

Anupam Mitu (author) from MUMBAI on July 04, 2020:

Dear Rosina & Miebekagh, I would request you to go through the first one once again.

I have renovated the whole article, broke it into three pieces with much more elaboration, added a few poems and pictures as well. The third part is under process.I hope you will love the third part too.

Please go through the pics, they too tell a story on their own.

Thank you so much for all your love and concern.

Lots of love and blessings

Anupam Mitu (author) from MUMBAI on July 04, 2020:

Eric thank you so mucj for reaching here and reading my heartfelt emotions.

What I had written in the previous article I broke into three parts and elaborated a bit.

The third part is in process.

Lots of love from India

Anupam Mitu (author) from MUMBAI on July 04, 2020:

Thank you so much Chhatra for your love and appreciation.

God bless you dear

Take care

Rosina S Khan on July 04, 2020:

Thank you, Anupam, for this wonderful article. I have read your article on suicide and commented on it. Now, this article is a continuation and also repeats some of the stuff.

Yes, this life is beautiful and you combated some very hard times to stand up for yourself, being the teacher of an institution and mother to your innocent children.

I think you did a great job. I am glad you think life is beautiful and that you already had the God-gifted qualities to prove to yourself and the world that you are worthy. One million thanks for rising to the challenges, keeping your life intact and coming out on the other side of the rainbow to find the beauty of life. I love your brevity and optimism.

CHATRA RAM from BARMER INDIA on July 04, 2020:

You have seen a lot of sorrows in your life and you have faced those sorrows unflinchingly.

Thank you for sharing such an inspiring story that teaches us to live life.

Miebakagh Fiberesima from Port Harcourt, Rivers State, NIGERIA. on July 04, 2020:

Anupam, is this not a summary of the first part? The content were quite the same. But the title and sub-topic different. Thanks.

Eric Dierker from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on July 04, 2020:

Very interesting about your life. Your poetry is quite vivid. Thank you for sharing this.