Insecurities (The reasons)
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The world maybe forget about me
All the things I see doesn't fit me
The flowers is just a good scenery
But it doesn't build a fresh picture to me
What I desire something that I surely can buy
World can fake things in blink of an eye
While making them stay open wide
A pure desire not so pure flights
I'm blind by the time
I wasn't able to take care myself so fine
I was confident enough reaching the top
Then my fall is just a snap of the hand
Just one step then I'm going to drowned
But the breathing is so suffocating now
I don't want to move even just to lay down
Me and everything just so alive right now
But I'm high
No, I'm not on the drugs
I think overthinking was killing the crown
It's getting bigger and bigger
I can't stop me now
Wide awake on darkness of the night
I wish there is someone who can understand my mind
This is not enough, Am I not enough?
Why am I left all alone with no stars that shine tonight
Abandoned by the light in the middle of the night
The moon shines that leave my sight
Just like everyone who like putting someone down
And I get all the word to realize my bads
How this thing doesn't have an ending
Once it starts it doesn't want to leave me
A never ending sad story
Every night it always haunt me
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A step back an always step back
No more forward I just forget how to clearly do that
Every time I can clearly see myself from the start
A start I never even see at once
A new start, I did went that far
All the hardworks become out of fun
Is this a joke I still work that out
No more left to cheer my mind
What did I do? Do I deserve their boo?
I hate myself from believing too high
I think I can continue to be that high
They all look at me before like I can fly
I didn't expect this ties
A suffocating promises i made while trying to go back where I couldn't find
This isn't do or die
This is me when I'm inside the box they've building while I'm busy reaching the heights
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No, I still didn't see the right path
But I know I've been living a life they want
They all see me confident in my wants
So they all try to pull me down
Till I'm drowned, down, when there's no light left next to mine
It's okay to give up a thousands times
But I live to make my own light
I forgive and didn't need to fit myself in crowned
I find a different path where the light was made by my own sacrifice
No, this isn't an easy path for a no leading light
But I try to reach again my made up desires
No one will care what's in my mind
I'm now okay and continue my journey in time
I've learned that there's one left to my side
The one who experience the same path I've gone
She's with me and I'm with her and that is my favorite part
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This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2020 Zzzone
Comments
Chrish Canosa from Manila Philippines on December 13, 2020:
You've addressed your message beyond thoughts, well I can say we have to be our own comforter relying it to someone else is way too risky. And awesome night to you!
Patty Florence from Illinois on December 13, 2020:
A realist perhaps!
manatita44 from london on December 13, 2020:
Interesting poem. Noble effort.
