How to Write an Inanimate Eulogy

Author:
Trisha Cann
Updated:
Jan 3, 2014

Overview of inanimate eulogy

If you are a college or high school student with a creative writing or a public speaking class, at one point in time, you may be asked to write an inanimate eulogy. Writing about the "death" of on a non-living thing can be a daunting task. The best way to write this type of eulogy is to use an item in your life that was important to you. Maybe some item you cherished from childhood, something you used everyday but now is no longer useable, or something precious to you that you had misplaced. Examples of these items could be: stuff animal, cell phone, computer, vehicle, jewelry, furniture, or even your favorite childhood toy.

Some ideas to think about when writing:

Write about how this item was important to you.
How or where did you obtain this item, when did you first meet?
What kind of joy did it bring to you life.
What is significant about this item? What purpose did it have?
Write about a specific memory of the object.
Why do you miss this item?
How to came to the end of its useful life.
Write about the object as if it was a person or a living thing.

Also, keep it light and try to add a bit of humor into this type of writing.

Steps to writing a eulogy on an inanimate object

Decide on what inanimate object you are going to write about.
Decide on the tone of the eulogy: serious or lighthearted?
Always consider the audience you will be speaking to. You do not want to say anything that might insult or confuse the people who you are delivering the speech to.
Start off by introducing yourself. Let those who are listening know who you are and how you know the deceased.
Next state some basic information about the item you are writing the eulogy about. How did you obtain this item, what was its use, or what purpose did to give to you?
Add some specific examples of how the item was used in you life. What did you use the item for or where did you use it? How the item made your life somewhat easier or how you enjoyed using the item?
End the speech with why you will miss the object that was important to you.

Some tips of delivery of eulogy

Proofread your eulogy.
Read eulogy out loud to yourself.
Rehearse in front of family or friends.
Before the speech, relax and take a deep breathe.
Use conversational tone when talking to your audience.

Example: Fishing Rod Eulogy

Hi, my name is Trish and for those who do not know me, I am the owner of the deceased. I would like to thank all of you for being here today to pay tribute to my favorite fishing rod. "The Super Pole." To many a fishing rod might just be a fishing rod but to me, he was my companion for over 25 years. From the first day that I saw him, I knew he would be mine. I was only 12 when we first meet. I was grocery shopping at our local supermarket with my parents. As I was walking down the aisle in their hardware section, there the super pole was: up high on the shelf, standing tall, and looking down on me. I said to my dad, look at that awesome green fishing pole. My dad got a big smile on his face and said, "that is a great pole but a little too big for you." Then, I asked if they would buy you for me. But, my mom chirped in right away and said a big fat "no." So, I saved up my money from the chores I did for my grandparents and finally got my dad to take me to purchase my special friend.

From that day on, he went with me on every fishing trip. We had gone so many places together, relaxed on the shores of many lakes, and he helped me catch so many fish. What I loved the best about the super pole was his casting ability. Put a couple of extra sinkers on him and I was able to cast out what seemed at least 100 yards. It seem like a lifetime from the time that I left go of the line till to actually hit the water. Most importantly, I could always depend on him to reel in the big one.

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I am going to really miss my super pole. I took care of him for many years, always making sure his tiny little reel was cleaned and oil, always changing his line, and buying him new hooks and lures to keep him happy. But in the summer of 2010, a horrible accident happened. I lost the breaks in my car and I slowly drifted down my driveway into my shed, which was his favorite place to rest when we were not out on an adventure. The force of the vehicle hitting the shed snapped his precious body into two. Luckily, I was able to save his reel and this part of him was transplanted on to my son’s Shakespeare rod. So part of him still lives on.

I am sorry about that faithful day that I could not fix you, you will always be irreplaceable, and I will never find a fishing rod like you again. Rest in Peace, Super Pole.

Sources: Author generated.