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Hub Pages' Low Monetizers -- Why Still Kept on the Site?: A Satire

Val is a self-made out-of-box thinker and individualist de-hypnotized from social brainwashing advances.

I think I'll be happier writing with no money than not writing with a lot of money.

-- Charlotte Eriksson

The price of having a passion is that it is oftentimes not matched by adequate rewards.

The price of having a passion is that it is oftentimes not matched by adequate rewards.

Writing for Fun

So many, if not most of us hubbers, have agreed to use this writing platform of Hub Pages for our literary expression, and for the fun of socializing -- monetization disappearing as a realistic possibility early at the start.

Thus let's keep that part of rewards out of our motivation for being here -- as a possible complaint anyway, but rather in its connection with any rationale that the HP might have for keeping us, underachievers, aboard.

Simple logic would go like this.

We can't be so naive as to assume that the site exists just to cater to our pleasure of writing, but is a business in the first place. I hope we all can agree over that.

Now, in any business imaginable, those employees who are not contributing, are promptly directed to the door. For some reason, let's call it "mysterious" just for the hell of it -- this is not the case here.

Quite on the contrary -- like, every so often, I get these notifications about this or that of my hubs having been reviewed, and guess what -- "it's looking great"! Well, in my limited capacity to connect some hard-to-see dots -- how something that "looks great" hardly generates any traffic. And here I would have to include my whole literary opus as well, not just those exceptionally "looking great" results of the birthing labors of my creative genius.

Then, on a rare occasion I would even see beside one of my articles that red triangle symbolizing "raising traffic" -- but for some reason, which I, again, am tempted to call "mysterious", hardly any more than usual views are being expressed in numbers there, for some days, both before and after that symbol has appeared.

Well, there must be a lot of what I simply don't understand here, while there is probably some good explanation for all of it. So, just bear with me, because here I go on with this advertising my limited ability of comprehension.

I know, I know, it's all nicely explained in the Rules of the website, and it's simply that much of it simply has bounced off my 78 years old memory. Like any old-timer, I just find these crazy questions to ponder upon So, don't anybody take any of this seriously, just try to be a little entertained.

For, here I go wondering about this alleged many thousands strong readership of this site -- and why out of that multitude only few share my literary taste and my mind's creations stemming from it.

Think about it this way. Many crappy movies get to become box office hits simply because there is an incredible number of people with a "bad taste". You know what I mean -- give them a simple formula with some sex, some violence, and something poignant -- and voila! -- the masterpiece is there.

Now, again, we are talking about thousands of such moronic viewers whose life is so boring that they need to salivate over some nudity, to discharge some of that accumulated anger at their spouses through some violent scenes, and discover how they can also feel sorry for an ever included victim.

Now, try to translate it to my particular situation -- possibly yours as well -- where my crappy writing "should" attract those thousands of crappy readers who are thriving on criticism about the cultural paradigm -- which happens to be my main niche, beside some imitations of a psycho-philosophy for all those armchair philosophers about life.

You see what I mean?

Since there are more stupid people in this world than some geniuses-of-all-degrees, why am I not showered with views?

Reaching for the stars you soon realize that your arms are too damn short -- and you are left with a good, healthy  laughing at yourself.

Reaching for the stars you soon realize that your arms are too damn short -- and you are left with a good, healthy laughing at yourself.

The privilege of a struggling writer is...the life being buried in what we can't really afford of...what a gorgeous life!

-- Hiroko Sakai

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Impossible Without a Good Sense of Humor

My dear wifie spent about thirty years working in different functions of a bank before she would happily retire; and I can still remember her saying how they were given so high targets that they all simply were regularly underachieving, and accordingly getting some miserable raises as the result.

Doesn't it remind you of a "stellar article" that only could break the monotony of noticing some cents earned each month?

So, back we come to those "great looking" articles after reviews. O.K, so they are obviously not "stellar", but the simple logical question would be -- if something is not as bad as to be unfeatured, wouldn't it be worth more than some cents?

Hey, by the way, I am not of a conspiracy theory type -- so don't expect me to "suspect how our views are being doctored so that we don't have to be paid much". Now, that would be a nasty thing to suggest, indeed.

Also, if you are imagining me pissed over all this, you are terribly wrong, my friends, because I've got this huge sense of humor which has partially kept me for the last 16 years from any doctors.

And so are all my satires just babies born out of this capacity to see life as funny, people as funny -- yes, myself as funny too.

You wouldn't believe how many times I laughingly asked myself what I was doing pretending to be a writer, while my writing obviously sucked -- if even those massive moronic readers couldn't find it interesting.

Which brings us to the question of the niches, not one of grammatical accuracy or a highly finessed style, because such masters are certainly writing for some prestigious magazines anyway.

Let's face it, folks -- we are living in this "age of information", with this insane paradox that despite that fact the whole world keeps acting as terribly misinformed.

And yet, information is what pays. And it doesn't matter if I would steal all of my written material from ten informative articles, with just some re-wording done -- it would still be more valued than an original view about people being massively brainwashed by the elite manipulators of this world.

Information sells -- period. Creative work sucks -- period.

Copy someone's recipe for Hungarian goulash or a tasty Italian style lasagna, and you are a bona fide, true online writer. Sweat out on your laptop some deep thoughts, and you are a dreamer just intellectually masturbating, having a solo fun, admiring your creation, and while pressing on that "Publish" button, knowing that you are handing it out to its public funeral.

And here we are, so many of us, creating, not making a buck -- which wouldn't even be anything to wonder about, if there was not that other question, expressed in the title of this post.

Like, if we, creative writers, are making 60% crap out of a 100% crap, how can our presence here be tolerated for making another 40% crap for the Hub Pages?

Two times so far I have fired myself, because they wouldn't do it, without a severance pay of maybe 2 generous bucks, but advising me to rather start collecting stamps instead of writing.

Yes, I closed my account twice, then came back. Why? Didn't I already say it -- I got a great sense of humor, and I have run out of all other reasons to laugh at myself, so I needed this good one.

You happen to know a good recipe for Hungarian goulash? Great -- you are going to make of yourself a Google genius

You happen to know a good recipe for Hungarian goulash? Great -- you are going to make of yourself a Google genius

No artist tolerates reality.

-- Friedrich Nietzsche

Epilog

There is no doubt in my mind that some "stellar" HP writers are earning those enviable amounts, say, like a greeting person in front of a Walmart does. It's a good money, and also much more dignifying as it's coming from hours of mental work, research, editing...in other words -- far beyond sheepishly smiling at the incoming customers and saying "Hi!"

Hey, at new minimum wages it's some over $18 per hour just for smiling -- all the way to the bank. LOL!, it takes me over hundred of written satires and poems to make eighteen bucks in a time of some 19 months.

Do you still doubt in my good sense of humor?

While I was taking my evening bath during the break of writing this -- yes, I enjoy my aromatic, lazy bubble baths -- I was already planning my next poem, because articles are too much work, and anyway they "pay" the same as that poem that I labeled something like "Having Fun Writing My Silly Poem".

I am kidding you not.

So, to you, rare outside-of-HP readers reading this -- if you consider just having a lot of fun expressing your thoughts, or tell about your grandma's cooking recipes -- this is the place to write.

If you happen to be one of those stellar pros, let me wonder what a hell you are doing here reading a crappy article like this.

And if you happen to be a creative writer like myself, go ahead, buddy, keep writing, some day God will pay you for your good heart!

Just replace writing "books" with writing "articles" in this video

© 2022 Val Karas

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