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I Won't Be Missed in Heaven: A Humorous Poem

Val enjoys writing rhymed poetry with a valuable message in it.


Sing like no one is listening

love like you've never been hurt

dance like nobody's watching

and live like it's heaven on earth.

-- Mark Twain

They say all interesting people are in hell

so what would I do in heaven, I wonder

all those angels I don't know very well

my time's not up, still time to ponder.

And even while on earth - where to find the Dude

they say He's everywhere, so I'll stay lazy to look

and for just kneeling and praying I'm not in mood

I still can't make up my mind over right holy book.

Well, those in Catholic church won't miss me there

and for a mosque I am not nearly militant enough

while for a synagogue, I'll keep quiet to stay fair

so I'll stay at home, for the choice is too tough.

Not being an American, I don't keep faith in my purse

where expressed on money it reads "In God We Trust"

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but my Canadian version may be seen as much worse

with almost empty purse -- with only my I.D. as a must.

I hope you got the metaphor that I am using here

saying that I don't trust in money and its claim

but with my only "religion" sounding sincere

consisting of my own image and my name.

I could make guesses about Intelligence Supreme

similar to all those ways that most of the world do

mine is not wrapped in imagination and dream

but a result of self-exploring providing a clue.

Someone has said how there's divinity in us all

with each earthly "god" disguised as a fool

and yet I'm listening to that inner call

attending my own spiritual school.

So that disqualifies me from that heaven's list

a religious oddball not to end up high above

and I'm most certain there I won't be missed

but with hell's interesting people I'll find love.

© 2022 Val Karas

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