Skip to main content

I Hate MCU Spider-Man or Iron Boy Jr. Part 3: I Hate Not Spider-Man

The Ultimate Fakes!

The Ultimate Fakes!

I Hate The Ultimate Spider-Man

The Ultimate comics were just inferior versions of the comics we already had with characters altered slightly and written by hackneyed writers and all were worse versions of characters many already loved. The basic character of Peter Parker was initially not changed that much, then the comics kept on going and now we have this stupid plot where Eddie Brock is an old high school friend of Peter Parker and their fathers created the Venom symbiote, which just seems contrived and stupid to me. Almost every character in the ultimate universe was made to feel dated and boring lesser interesting versions of the great characters created decades prior. Nick Fury was now bald and black just a black less interesting token version of the original and this is the reason we got this version in the films instead of the classic Nick Fury with the wing tip sideburns, and who was also a WW2 vet.

Eventually, it was mandated by the hacks quacks, and frauds who run modern marvel comics that Spider-Man was to die and be replaced with Token-Man. Created by the worst hack plodded lackey Brian Michael Bendis the tool for other dull tools like Joe Quesada who single-handedly ruined Spider-Man with the god awful One More Day storyline. Only for Danny Slotto to again ruin Spider-Man by making him an evil supervillain who wants to commit mass genocide and thus the birth of Slotto Blocktavius was done. Slotto was a fat little hateful troll so it was obvious he was more in line with Otto Octavius than Spider-Man. Fatto Sloptavius was another sellout during the one more day storyline, rubbing his fat little fingers together, planning his own horrible storyline, to ruin Spider-Man.

The Rise of Fake-Man

The Rise of Fake-Man

I Hate Miles Morales or Not Spider-Man

I'm likely to induce some hate for this, which I bet most of the comments might say, racist. However, in my opinion, Miles is only popular because he is a Spider-Man clone. All Brian Michael Bendis did was slap a Spider-Man outfit on a generic token black kid, and thus stated done. Miles isn't original within the smallest amount, and feeds off the success of Peter Parker, and has become more popular with stupid modern audiences than Peter. He doesn't even have any of his very own original villains, or even his original side/supporting characters. All he has is Ganke and his parents the remainder is people from Peter's life.

He's not Spider-Man, sorry for me, Spider-man and Peter Parker are synonymous, or better yet the same, which means, to me at least, they solely don't work moreover without one another. I like Spider-Man since I relate to Peter Parker so emphatically (peter is the everyman the universal loser who can't catch a break yet he'll always do what is right because he won't let down those he loves ever again, and I don't have that with Miles. Miles seizes his popularity and powers from Peter, which just leaves a sour taste in my mouth. He's "amazing" and "fantastic" and whatever (only because he stole Peter Parker's powers), but he'll never be Peter (only a token clone). It is similar reasoning on why I'd rather not touch upon just like the extended spider-verse stuff, and why I like simpler stories, I do not like clones and other dull cookie-cutter characters overshadowing Peter. Miles has never legitimately won a fight without leaning on his 'Venom Blast' power, he has no villains of his own, his web-shooters were made and given to him by somebody else, so he didn't even figure that out on his own. He's also boring which I hate how Marvel seems to wish to undertake and do and force him on us.

He is with guardianship goddamn boring. Every issue with him is this: "Good-man I don't need these powers; how did Peter Parker handle it? I would prefer not to be a superhero any longer. But I suppose I should thanks to powers, better go find that villain. Oh no! There he is, and my ass is getting kicked again! What am I go... wait! Venom Blast! Hooray, the scalawag is beat, yet I'm not entirely certain about these creepy crawly superpowers."

Then rinse and repeat. So repetitive and boring and unoriginal. Mile Morales, he's just such a typical and lazy character which I don't desire. Brian Michael Bendis only got away with it because he gave people a black Spider-Man. I do not care what race, ethnicity, religion, or sexual orientation a superhero is, if they're boring and shoddily written then I'm out.

I'm obviously not a fan of Miles Morales, he's never has interested me, Peter is Spider-Man, not Miles. "Do I mean the Amazing Venom Strike-Man?" "How dare you! How dare you, say Bendis solves all the fights with Miles by using the venom strike. How dare you, sir!? If he did that, it would be... ridiculous... Oh, wait it was... *sigh*."

In my opinion, Miles Morales has one in every of the foremost annoying fanbases. If you tell them the issues Miles has and is creating within the mag industry, his fans will immediately say that you're racist. He incorporates a built-in defense against him all because he's "diverse". Not only that but as soon because the news got out that Spider-Man is joining the MCU, his fans and progressives immediately said that Miles should be the next Spider-Man. Even now those self-important narcissists the same people are begging for Marvel to allow him his trilogy and cast Peter (the original and iconic character) aside so Miles can be the new and only Spider-Man, who is more PC friendly.

As a person of Hispanic and Native American descent, I say, "Heck No!" Miles doesn't deserve his franchise. If Dick Grayson, a cleverly written and iconic character in his right, hasn't even received his very own movie in his 70 years of publication, then why should Miles? Because he's black and is supposedly diverse. The sad thing is that most of the general populace buys that.

Into The Phony Verse

Into The Phony Verse

Scroll to Continue

I Hate Into The Spider-Verse

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse is a creatively bankrupt movie supported by a creatively bankrupt magazine publisher. It isn't a true Spider-Man movie, Spider-Man is Peter Parker, not Miles Morales, miles is just a cheap clone created by a known hack, who also helped destroy Peter Parker's marriage together with the idiotic hack and terrible Mary sue insert writer Joe Quesada, who spearheaded the project 'One More Day' which one of the foremost reviled Spider-Man stories ever made. As an aside Joe's art sucks too he's worse than Rob Liefeld on Captain America.

But back to the movie itself “Into the Spider-Verse” features not 1, but 5 rip-off Spider-Men. You have the rip-off Spider-Man whom the movie is about Miles Morales, who is just a black Spider-man, and an unlikable boring version of Peter Parker, whose only feature that separates him from Peter Parker, is that he's black. Miles is not even half as deeply flawed or interesting as Peter Parker, Miles isn't a nerd who gets picked on or bullied, he doesn't have trouble with girls, he's not someone that individuals can relate to, he's boring he's pointless, and most of all he isn't Spider-Man.

Then they create even worse, Spider-Man clones you have got a stupid unfunny talking pig who could even be a joke character made for idiots within the '80s. Then you've got a generic anime girl with a pet robot who's also somehow a spider even less of a personality just a generic backstory. Then you've another gimmick spider-man who's black and white and wears a hat and goggles a lame version of Gotham by gaslight batman which is ironic since batman beyond first ripped of Spider-Man 2099 which should've been during this movie, rather than the stupid anime girl. They also threw in another pointless Spider-Man rip-off, Spider-Gwen, who has the stupidest name of any superhero she's just to original characters mashed together, come up with an original character for once you talentless lazy hacks at Marvel.

Miles Morales steals Peter Parker's origin story by having his uncle die and also rips off the ending of Sam Raimi's Spider-man by having his father think that Spider-Man killed his brother. Green Goblin, therefore, the choice regular spider-man villains look idiotic if something isn't broken don't fix it as they made it worse during this case. The Kingpin also doesn't even look human he seems like a golem or slightly uglier Ben Grimm which they forgot to feature his neck as he barely even as a neck. The Kingpin isn't a cartoon monster he's somebody's a fat husky human, but a human being nonetheless, although he is somebody's who murders many individuals for greed, nonetheless, and not a terribly designed cartoon character with no neck and a comically disproportionate body.

Don't make a Spider-Man movie and not make it about Spider-Man that's just idiotic instead they made this movie about discount Spider-man so gave him the identical tragic backstory, but dumber then have said discount recolored Spider-Man saves the day and defeats the cartoony looking villain and stops the cliché doomsday plot device.


I Hate PS4 Spider-Man and The New Miles Morales Game

Spider-Man PS4 was good up until about 2 hours into the game when it starts to diverge from peter parkers story and become more about Miles Morales. They also completely misinterpreted the character of Mary Jane Watson here she is sassy reporter, nope she is supposed to be an aspiring model and actress which is explained in her back story from the '80s in which her father was abusive and went jail and her mother died and she was forced to live with her aunt. Like Peter Parker, it was her tragic origin that made or influenced her to want to do what she does they share that pain and that makes them closer than any other romance in the Spider-Man comics, or even in comic books as a whole. Mary Jane Watson should not be shoved into Peter Parker's job as a reporter for the daily bugle she should have her own life, her ver own career, her very own character.

Insomniac was never my favorite Sony game developer all their title were boring lackluster the only games they made that were successful were for children and somehow because it made for a dumber audience it got a pass and became popular not unlike Naughty Dog who made crash bandicoot which is poorly designed game with bad camera angles even Santa Monica who hasn't made a decent God of War game since God of War 3.

Ascension had a bad camera, uninspired enemies, and a weak voice actor who only got worse in God of War PS4 or PSBORE. The game was another freaking walking simulator it's like they copied a naughty dog game and reskinned it for God of Boring PS4. I would much rather play as Thor or one of his sons because asshole Kratos must kill all the gods because he’s a stupid bald moron and that's what he does. Kratos was never a good guy were we an onlooker he would seem to be a mass-murdering bald maniac who kills innocent people for fun daily.

Anyway back to Spider-Man PS4. Both the story missions and side goals are nonexclusive and redundant, the main game campaign's pacing is fiercely conflicting pressing various boss battles in a steady progression in the last hours of the game and the boss battles are for the most part unremarkable wave-based undertakings.

Be that as it may, to top it all off? Those detestable, uncontrollably obsolete secrecy successions highlighting MJ and Miles Morales. Who in their correct brain thought these as a pleasant preoccupation in any capacity? They inspired a moan each time they appeared and obviously should've been discretionary.

It's really very bewildering that such a significant number of people considered Spider-Man a Game of the Year competitor regardless of these issues, notwithstanding how conventional its open-world feels. It's a decent game, yet incredible or even amazing? No way.

Related Articles