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Time Management Humor: How to Waste Your Precious Time?

how-to-waste-your-precious-time

You would have read many articles regarding time management, but this one is different. As most of the articles on time management are not practical for most of us, we just read them and forget. But this article is very practical and anyone can start to apply the tips I have given here. Just read the tips and without wasting your time, start to waste your time and life.

There are only 24 hours in a day, so obviously you can waste 24 hours per day at your best. moreover, it is a very sad thing that we can not waste our precious time in advance. But do not worry, try your best and waste maximum of the time you have got. One day, you will realize that you have wasted all of your life.

1. Do Not Leave Your Bed

Studies show that that human beings need 7-8 hour of sleep per day. But you can sleep for more time. If you sleep for three more hours everyday, you can waste 3 hours of your life per day. Now calculate it:

3 hours per day = 21 hours per week= 90-93 hours per month= 1095 hour per year. (365x3) Suppose you are going to live for 110 years, you can waste 120450 hours of your life. It is equal to about 14 years. Thus just by sleeping three hours extra per day, you can waste 14 years of your life! You can improve your sleeping capacity and sleep for more time, to waste more time. Also try to sleep at afternoon, in your office or workplace, the best place to relax.

2. Be a TV Addict

TV addiction is one of the most popular ways to waste your time. As there are a lot of TV channels, you have a lot of choices to waste your time. But I suggest you to watch Daily Soaps. If you do not like Daily Soaps, then watch News channels. Watch the same News again and again. As TV stations are on 24 hours, you can waste all of your 24 hours per day.

You do not need to believe in the News. The News may be true or mostly false, do not care about it. Your intention should be just to waste the time and News channels is the better option for it.

3. Be an Internet Addict

Internet has given us another opportunity to waste a lot of time. The best way to waste your time using internet is to join Social networking Sites like Face Book or apps like whats app. Here you can have friendship with a lot of faceless unknown people. You can chat with them all the day and night, can exchange your valuable views on dirty politics and useless knowledge. You can participate in various campaigns and agitations without leaving your cabin. You can fight wars without any risk of getting killed, or can become a farmer without going to real farm.

4. Be a Lazy

Being lazy is an essential qualification for wasting your time. The benefit of being a lazy is that you have nothing to do to waste your time, you waste it automatically. Some easy way to be a lazy are: 1. Never take decisions 2. Avoid any type of work.

5. Choose a Distant Work Place

Always choose a workplace which is far away from your home. This helps you to waste your time in travel. If you are using public transport, never reach before time at the bus stop or railway station. Always try to miss the bus or train. This helps you to waste your time.

6. Be a Newspaper Addict

Read each and every available Newspaper regularly. Read the News on politics, crimes, affairs of celebrities, gossips etc. You should read each and every advertisement in the classifieds. This can waste lot of your time.

7. Be Cricket Crazy

Sports like Football, Hockey etc. are useless for wasting your time, as they are played for a limited time. So here is one sport I would like to suggest you which can waste your full day or even continuous 5 days. That is Cricket! You can waste more days by discussing on a cricket match with your cricket crazy friends.

Further Reading

Those who want to know more on this subject, should read following books:

1. How to sleep continuously for one week by Siesta Doze, Catnap Publishers

2. How to Become an Active Lazy by Ms. Lazy Inaktivo

3. Stop Worrying, Start Sleeping by Siesta Doze

About the author

The author is a well known sleepyhead and has broken his own sleeping time record for several times. He is wasting his time on internet for last 15 years.

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Comments

Frank Slovenec from San Francisco, CA on June 22, 2012:

So true thee are many ways to waste time .. I tell my audiences at sales rallies..for the productive person time is and ally for the unproductive it is the enemy .. no matter we all have the same 24 hours to be the best at what we do...thanks

Mahaveer Sanglikar (author) from Pune, India on May 09, 2012:

Thanks Ankur, for reading and commenting.

Ankur Mithal on May 08, 2012:

Makes for a great read. Behind the biting wit seem to be some very pertinent messages.

Looks like we share a writing style.

Here sre some suggestions on how to waste resources of your company :

http://darkofficehumour.wordpress.com/2011/12/21/a...

http://darkofficehumour.wordpress.com/2011/11/26/a...

Mahaveer Sanglikar (author) from Pune, India on April 22, 2012:

jenubouka,

You are right

Mahaveer Sanglikar (author) from Pune, India on March 16, 2012:

summerberrie,

Thank you.

Mahaveer Sanglikar (author) from Pune, India on March 11, 2012:

cookingrecipes,

You are right. Most of us like to waste time.

Mahaveer Sanglikar (author) from Pune, India on February 29, 2012:

alocsin,

Thank you for the comments.

Aurelio Locsin from Orange County, CA on February 26, 2012:

An amusing hub, not that I need any more tips on wasting time ;) Voting this Up and Interesting.

Mahaveer Sanglikar (author) from Pune, India on February 26, 2012:

Thank you summerberrie for commenting. The action is a necessity of time!

Shinkicker from Scotland on February 24, 2012:

Nice Hub jainismus

Although if I can be allowed one little criticism. Reading this Hub was certainly not a waste of time :-)

An enjoyable and fun read with many great tips on how to avoid using time productively.

Many thanks

jenubouka on February 23, 2012:

Time management for also coincides with procrastination. I know I should/need to write/work, but that cupboard has not been cleaned in a day! Oh, wait probably should just reorganize the whole kitchen while I am at. Hey, I didn't know I still had this, better take a closer look....and so on.

This was a true delight to read!

rose on February 23, 2012:

I am a complete TV and Internet addict when I have spare time. I love surfing the web and seeing what is out there on it. One site I tend to always go to is DISH Online. I started working for DISH and learned about the website. I can watch all my favorite shows and most of them are free. I love going on there and checking out new shows or some back in the day stuff. It is a great way to make the time go by.

Mary Hyatt from Florida on February 22, 2012:

I think we all waste valuable time. I enjoyed reading this Hub. I voted it UP, etc.

summerberrie on February 22, 2012:

I found myself falling into a couple of your categories!I will stop hitting the snooze button and spend less time reading the newspaper(s). I am going to print your article and place next to my computor. Thanks for encouraging me to value time.

Mahaveer Sanglikar (author) from Pune, India on February 22, 2012:

mljdgulley354,

even if you have liked, do not follow the tips!

Mahaveer Sanglikar (author) from Pune, India on February 22, 2012:

Yes you are right Teri!

Teri Silver from The Buckeye State on February 22, 2012:

Ah, and let's not forget about playing games on Facebook! A great way to waste time ... and I'm guilty of it :)))

mljdgulley354 on February 22, 2012:

Wasting time is a developed habit that we don't even know we have. I love your tips to waste time.