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How Do I Get Laid?

I'm an eclectic gal with many diverse interests. They include relationships, film, trivia, and an assortment of other things.

Getting Laid is Easy

If you want to know how to get laid, below are easy steps. Using each one guarantees that you will get laid. Contrary to popular belief, getting laid is not as hard as everyone makes it out to be. Further, it's very surprising that so many people on the Internet are trying to figure it out. According to dictionary.com, this is the definition of "laid":

"Laid" is a verb and is the simple past tense of "lay". "Lay" means to put horizontally, like in a resting position. Putting a book on a desk is laying the book on the desk. Thus, if somebody puts a book on a desk, they have laid the book on the desk. It also means to be knocked down or to cause to be in a particular state or condition. Also, to set, place or apply. Thus, getting laid can mean many different things.

This is a specific article about getting laid as in laying down. Hopefully you didn't think it was about something else.

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Get Help!

Getting laid isn't hard, particularly if you get some help. Since getting laid implies that somebody else is doing the laying and that one cannot get laid by oneself, involving another person is absolutely necessary. In fact, one does not even need to be human to get laid, as the picture above indicates. That monkey got laid since somebody set him down horizontally on the ground or it's possible that he set himself there. Either way, he got laid.

Take Up Boxing or MMA

In either of these sports, the participants are getting laid all the time. In their case, they're usually getting laid out, which means that they're knocked down so that they're horizontal to the ground. Although not everybody gets knocked out in these sports, sooner or later, it usually happens unless you're exceptionally good. Since most people who are reading this won't have much experience in these sports, your participation will likely result in you getting laid (out) almost immediately.

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Take a Debate Class

Unless you are a seasoned debater, engaging people in spirited debate is likely to result in having your arguments laid bare. In the process of getting laid (bare), you will have to reassess your point-of-view and the arguments you make to support your points. Getting laid (bare) like this forces one to refine their arguments and makes one a better debater and more confident in how they defend their point-of-view.

Planking

I was unfamiliar with planking until recently, but it's an excellent way to get laid. Basically, planking involved pretending to be a plank and making yourself very straight and horizontal and then lying down on some odd object (I'll provide a link below) and taking a picture.

Luge

Another fun way to get laid, though you have to be pretty brave to luge, though effectively a luge is a sled and you don't have to do Olympic style luging to get laid in this manner. You can just find a hill with a moderate incline so that you don't go too fast. Or you can just go sledding.

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How About an Operation?

If you want to get laid, getting an operation is a certain way to accomplish that. That's because almost every operation involves laying down. So, you'll get laid by the surgeon or the nurse. Somebody in the hospital will help you get laid. Otherwise, you can't have the operation.

Visit a Bed Store

Usually a place that sells mattresses is a great place to get laid. Pretend that you're buying a mattress and just try them out. The store will allow you to lay on them for free. You can get laid all day! Personally, I recommend Tempurpedic. They are great mattresses. Very comfortable. I like to get laid on those all the time.

Golf Course Driving Range

On a busy day, there are maybe twenty golfers hitting golf balls on a driving range. There are balls flying everywhere. If you really want to get laid, just take a walk on the range. Don't wear a helmet or anything. Just walk around out there. Eventually, you will get laid. I guarantee it.

Were You Looking for Sex Advice?

Perhaps you came to this page looking for sex advice? I'm sorry, but I don't have any of that. Getting laid by a member of the opposite sex requires way more steps than I can provide here.

If you really want to get laid without too much effort, you could go to Las Vegas. Some parts near that city have legal prostitution. So, if you have enough money, you can just pay to get laid. I don't really recommend that, but I do know people who have tried.

If you just want to brag about getting laid, do one of the things above, and you can brag all day.

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Funny or Not?

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2011 Sychophantastic

Comments

Mary Wickison from Brazil on April 10, 2013:

I love it. The English language explained in a fun way. Great idea.

Jeannie Marie from Baltimore, MD on November 19, 2012:

I am more interested in getting lei'd, but apparently I have to go to Hawaii for that. Guess I will look for other alternatives. :-)

Matt in Jax from Jacksonville, FL on December 25, 2011:

Lol. Wonder how many reads this Hub has with surprisingly no comments as to not show that they clicked on it because of the title. Funny.

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