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"Help Me, Doctor! I Think I Have a Book Inside."

John has been writing poetry since his school days. He was awarded the "Best Poet 2014 and 2021" Hubby Awards.

Text added via Picfont

Text added via Picfont

The Question: What Do You Do For a Living?

How often are you asked the question, "What do you do for a living?" I am sure it is almost every time you meet new people in a casual meeting, or at a conference etc. when trying to mingle.

Many of us feel uncomfortable saying, "I am a writer!" Well, at least I used to, but not anymore. For some reason, I never considered it my real job. I probably just lacked confidence in my ability, but now, people usually show genuine interest and ask what I write or who I write for.

There has however always been some stigma associated with the occupation of writing, especially fiction, and even more so, poetry. The following poem tries to address that in a humorous manner. I am still not 100% confident telling people I am a poet.

Image by Martin Büdenbender from Pixabay

Image by Martin Büdenbender from Pixabay

"Help Me Doctor, I Think I Have A Book Inside."


"Help me Doctor

I'm feeling blue.

I had to come

and talk to you."


"Tell me Sir

what ails you so,

to seek my attention

I need to know?"


"Oh Doc, it's strange

I must confide,

I think I've got

Scroll to Continue

a book inside."


"That's not so weird,

calm down my friend.

Most people have

a book in them."

help-me-doctori-think-i-have-a-book-inside


"Really Doctor,

are you sure?

Can you recommend

a cure?"


"Perhaps a specialist

can get it out.

There are many publishers

about."


"No, not published!

It's not substantial.

Give me pills,

Or surgical removal."


"Or maybe herbs,

or a special diet.

Hear me Doc,

I just want rid of it."


"You seem ashamed

of your inner book.

Open wide

and let me look."


"No, not ashamed Doc,

I thought you'd know it.

I just don't want to be

- a POET!"


"There, there my friend,

it could be worse.

We all, at some stage

write some verse.


We are born, we live,

and then quite sadly,

we must write poetry.

Though often badly."


"Oh Doctor,

why is life so cruel?

Why must I be

a poetic fool?"

© 2014 John Hansen

Comments

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on June 12, 2015:

I appreciate the kind comment word55. Glad I could start off your Friday morning with a smile. Have a good day.

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on June 12, 2015:

Thanks for reading Andrew, glad you enjoyed this and got a smile.

Al Wordlaw from Chicago on June 12, 2015:

This poem shows how versatile of a poet you are. This was a fascinating read for a Friday morning. I enjoyed the rythm and the rhyme. Lots of good humor here with an attractive, catchy title. Go Jodah!

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on June 12, 2015:

Thanks Phyllis, I think you are right. Publishing a book could be the most likely cure. :)

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on June 12, 2015:

Thank you Kevin, I think it i something all of us can relate to. If we have that burning desire to write, eventually we want to publish a book. Thanks for the vote up , share and pin. Glad it was useul.

Phyllis Doyle Burns from High desert of Nevada. on June 11, 2015:

Now ... if I were the doctor, I would say publish it and afore long you will feel great. Well done, Jodah.

Andrew Hill from Leicester, United Kingdom on June 11, 2015:

Brilliant! Absolutely enjoyed reading that.

Particularly the part where you're born, you live and then write poetry... that made me smile.

The Examiner-1 on June 11, 2015:

How true John. We all write it at some time in our lives, whether it is good or bad. I thought that it had humor but it was useful and interesting to me. I voted up, shared and pinned it.

Kevin

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on June 11, 2015:

Thanks Nadine, I had fun writing this. "Pregnant with a book" haha..I can relate.

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on June 11, 2015:

Hi Lee, thanks for reading, glad you found this poem enjoyable. Cheers.

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on June 11, 2015:

Glad you enjoyed this Kamalesh..thanks for reading. Take care.

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on June 11, 2015:

Thanks for reading Jo, also the kind comment, hugs, sugar and vote ups.. :) Blessings.

Nadine May from Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa on June 11, 2015:

Your poem was fun to read. It reminded me of a writer who told us at the Frankfurt book fair years ago that she was pregnant with a book.

Lee Cloak on June 11, 2015:

A really charming very creative piece, great to read, extremely enjoyable, thanks for sharing, best wishes, Lee

Kamalesh Chakraverty from Sahaganj, Dist. Hooghly, West Bengal, India on June 11, 2015:

Very Creative and Funny. Enjoyed it ! Keep on writing! Best Wishes, Kamalesh

Jo_Goldsmith11 on June 11, 2015:

So delightful Jodah! I really enjoy your creative muse helping you with writing this interestingly funny poem. Indeed you are an author of many talents! Shared and up! voted yes across the board.

Looking forward to read your next poetic masterpiece!

hugs & sugar :-)) (((((((((((( Jodah )))))))))))))

Leptirela from I don't know half the time on April 03, 2015:

You arr most welcome , I still have a lot of your hubs to go though :)

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on April 03, 2015:

Wow! Leptirela, I looked at my email notifications and see that you have been checking out quite a few of my hubs. This is the first comment I have read, so it looks like I better check all the others from the oldest email first. Thanks so much for your kind comment and I am glad you can relate this to your own situation.

Leptirela from I don't know half the time on April 02, 2015:

Heheh I Love it. It is damn right true ,

I often find myself lacking inspiration or that "Craft ?" You have which I mentioned earlier. So when push comes to shove I am blocked though the ideas are there the plot is done, but my characters just don't listen :).

The doctor told me "If they start talking back you call 999" hahha kidding , of course, but I need a doc lile this at times

Once again you have amazed me.

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on October 25, 2014:

Hello J - R -Rr13m9n, good to see you at one of my hubs. You are a poet too I see :) and you are correct, writing is definitely therapeutic.

Jane Ramona Rynkiewicz Frieman from Morris County, New Jersey on October 25, 2014:

Hello Jodah! I'm glad you stopped by to take a read of one of hubs concerning sketches on scrap paper and using them in writing. Your bio is impressive. You are a poet and you know it! Keep on writing; it is therapeutic.

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on October 01, 2014:

Thanks echo granny, so pleased I wrote a poem that you resemble, and that made you laugh. My pleasure.

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on October 01, 2014:

Gjcody, oh I always write from deep down in my feelings. I try to give people what they want as long as it is compatible with what I want :), I just have to find the right audience. Thanks for reading and your helpful comment.

Kathryn Grace from San Francisco on September 30, 2014:

To paraphrase some great comic or other, I resemble that poem, and yes, you made me laugh. Thank you!

GJCody from Pittsburgh on July 27, 2014:

If you feel it write it ...I believe you need to reach down deep into your feelings in order to express yourself. Of course I picked this one because I feel like I have a book always down deep to help people. ...Keep writing ...I just learned in one of my classes to give the people what they want not what you want ...I need to practice this...hope that will help!

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on February 26, 2014:

Good on you Bravewarrior for taking the step and not looking back I am sure it addictive. Thanks for the great encouraging comment. I will never be cured..lol.

Shauna L Bowling from Central Florida on February 26, 2014:

And what's wrong with poetry??? You seem to be pretty good at it, Jodah! I published my first poetry book in February 2013. I now am working on a fiction novel. Once the spirit flies, there's no stopping it. At least, that's what I'm bucking for....

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on February 07, 2014:

haha...well, I just can't help it, it is an ailment I have to live with... Thanks.

Alexander Thandi Ubani from Lagos on February 07, 2014:

lol, you don't wanna be a poet?

lol, i love this

"We are born, we live,

and then sadly,

we must write poetry.

Though often badly"

good one!

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on February 01, 2014:

@Nadine. Thank you so much. I appreciate your support and encouragement.

@Pamela. Thanks for your generous comment. Glad you enjoyed this poem and it gave you a laugh.

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on February 01, 2014:

@Nadine. Thank you so much. I appreciate your support and encouragement.

@Pamela. Thanks for your generous comment. Glad you enjoyed this poem and it gave you a laugh.

Pamela Oglesby from Sunny Florida on February 01, 2014:

This is so funny and creative. I thoroughly enjoyed this poem as it is outstanding. Great work!

Nadine May from Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa on February 01, 2014:

Oh Jodah I will keep my fingers crossed for you!

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on January 31, 2014:

Thanks Genna, glad this gave you a smile. Yes, fingers crossed for the contest, it's $1000 first prize. I could definitely use that :)

Genna East from Massachusetts, USA on January 31, 2014:

Lol! This is so charming and delightful...good luck in the contest, Jodah! :-)

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on January 30, 2014:

I actually just entered this poem in a humor poetry contest, so we'll see how it goes.

Romeos Quill from Lincolnshire, England on January 29, 2014:

Lol! You could be on to something there. Regarding the writing; it was more of a signpost pointer really, that hopefully may be of some benefit. Just thought that you could do alright if you approached a few prospective publishers, or even entered a few competitions in order for the writes to carry themselves( if you haven't already ).

When a panel of professionals give the nod to your work, it's then that you know you're really onto something, and it's one of the best highs ever.

Here's to the future,

R.Q.

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on January 29, 2014:

Thanks for your kind words and encouragement R.Q. I'll try to follow your advice. hey, what do you think of my bespectacled doctor? She may be some competition for Aimee Valentine girls..lol.

Romeos Quill from Lincolnshire, England on January 29, 2014:

Lol! Nice work Jodah. Don't knock yourself though; poetry is the ultimate in condensed writing. I wonder how many could actually foresee whether they were going to be one or not?; it never even crossed my mind until last year. Best of luck with the book! Don't sell yourself short with vanity publishing.

All the Best,

R.Q.

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on January 29, 2014:

Yes 've heard of him Bill, I'll have to check him out. Other good australian writers are John Marsden, Peter Carey, Colleen McCullough, Tom Keneally, Bryce Courtney, Val Mcdermid, Tim Winton, Matthew Reilly to name a few. You may have heard of some. A few have had books turned into movies and mini-series. If you need any Aussie slang deciphered you know who to ask....Suzanne Day...lol.

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on January 29, 2014:

I've been meaning to tell you; I discovered a mystery novel writer from Australia by the name of Peter Temple. He really is a wonderful writer. It's a bit hard at times figuring out some of the Australian slang, but his stories are top notch.

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on January 29, 2014:

Hey pochinuk, thanks for reading and your delightful comment. Yes, I feel almost every writer can relate to this ailment. I am glad this poem conveyed it as clearly as I intended. I have been trying to come up with another micro poem but having trouble finding a suitable idea...this poem 'happened' instead.

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on January 29, 2014:

Hi Suzanne, thank you for your kind comment. Glad I captured you ;). I was inspired to write it because I am attempting to write a book of poetry and self publish with either Amazon or Lulu. I am having trouble deciding and for me the process is daunting. Your words are encouraging, wish me luck.

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on January 29, 2014:

Such a kind comment Suzette. I was happy with how easily the words flowed in this after the idea came to me. I am glad you love my humorous poetry especially this one. Humour is not as easy to pull off as it may seem, so thank you for saying it's a gift. Much appreciated.

pochinuk on January 29, 2014:

Jodah,

In less than 100 words you have poetically dialogue a potent argument in the gut of all writers. Poet or otherwise.

Very creative!

My favorite line is: "..."Or maybe herbs..." A daffy last -on- the- list solution working well in the rest of your poem.

-pochinuk

Suzanne Day from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia on January 29, 2014:

This poem was very amusing and captured me completely. Well done! Are you going to get it published somewhere other than Hubpages? It needs to be seen by the world. Voted up and funny ;)

Suzette Walker from Taos, NM on January 29, 2014:

I love this poem - it is so precious! Should we all be so lucky as to go to the doctor for our 'ailment' of poetry writing. LOL! I love your humorous poetry and you write it so well. I think it is a 'gift' not a disease! LOL!

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on January 29, 2014:

Thanks Ann, yes we've all got a doctor joke in us somewhere...and a book...lol. Glad I made you smile.

Ann Carr from SW England on January 29, 2014:

You're certainly no poetic fool! I thoroughly enjoyed this; the pace was great and it made me smile over and over.

Great take on the old phrase. Ann

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on January 28, 2014:

Thank you so much for that Eddy. Bless you.

Eiddwen from Wales on January 28, 2014:

What a wonderful poem Jodah; loved it and vote up for sure.

Eddy.

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on January 27, 2014:

Apoemacitis, Eric.

Eric Wayne Flynn from Providence, Rhode Island on January 27, 2014:

What's your book about Jodah?

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on January 27, 2014:

Thanks for you kind comment Alicia, that's what I was aiming for. Glad it appealed to you.

Linda Crampton from British Columbia, Canada on January 27, 2014:

This poem is creative and very funny as well, Jodah!

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on January 27, 2014:

Thanks a lot Jamie, glad you enjoyed this one. All the best.

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on January 27, 2014:

Thanks for the vote up and share Flourish. It does sound like your family has the dreaded writing disease...lol. Your poor daughter at only 14 too. Good on her I say. I wish I had started writing seriously at that age. Have a good day.

FlourishAnyway from USA on January 27, 2014:

I love this! My family is filled with books that seem to be lodged in us. A congenital ailment, perhaps. When my daughter announced recently that she was writing a novel and then sat down and actually put words to paper, I was stunned. She's actually gotten several chapters out in a matter of days, and they're surprisingly good. The poor girl is only 14. We don't know what to make of it. Voted up +++ and sharing this one!

Jamie Lee Hamann from Reno NV on January 27, 2014:

Great poetry Jodah!

Love it! Jamie

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on January 27, 2014:

Hey Ryem, thanks for your great comment . So glad you enjoyed this poem and can relate to it.

Ryem from Maryland on January 27, 2014:

Wow Jodah, this poem is amaziiinnng! I love the metaphor and flow of it all, plus I can relate.

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on January 27, 2014:

May I say Harishprasad, that any hub that receives your comments is brightened and made even greater through your kindness and insight. Thank you my friend in your generosity and praise. I hope to do what you suggest.

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on January 27, 2014:

Thank you DDE, I am glad you enjoyed the read.

Harish Mamgain from New Delhi , India on January 27, 2014:

John, there is a proverb in Hindi - "where the sun can't have an access,the poet reaches there". Book, poem, doctor, cure......... Only a poet is able and allowed to venture into such wonderland. A poet can turn the doctor into patient and vice versa. So keen are poet's eyes that no surgical tools are used when S/he operates upon someone. I'll say this one is peerless and you can retrieve your book now with the help of very advanced poetic surgery being practiced by you.

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on January 27, 2014:

Thanks Bill. Sadly yes I think I may need it removed but I need to go on the waiting list for elective surgery...lol.

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on January 27, 2014:

Good to see you Stages, when you get that feeling you just have to do something about it. I'm working on it. Thanks.

Devika Primić from Dubrovnik, Croatia on January 27, 2014:

"Help Me Doctor, I Think I Have A Book Inside." Superb writing and so well put together.

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on January 27, 2014:

Tilsontitan, thank you for reading and giving such a great comment. The vote up is much appreciate. Glad you liked it.

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on January 27, 2014:

There is no escaping it, John! LOL Very enjoyable read my friend. I think you might need an operation. :)

Kathy Henderson from Pa on January 27, 2014:

Hello Jodah

I'm not a poet but if feel it I sometimes share it. I am not a writer but I write. Great poem, you should go ahead and write your book. I am sure it's inside of you and wants to come out. I like the doctor concept :)

Mary Craig from New York on January 27, 2014:

The humor in this lovely poem is slightly overshadowed by the reality! Certainly a unique way to look at the poet's dilemma. Loved this from beginning to end!

Voted up, useful, funny, awesome, and interesting.

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on January 27, 2014:

Hi Joelle, thank you for such wonderful comments. I am glad you enjoyed this poem too, and that you can relate to the sentiment. I can almost feel the cold you must be going through. I hope it warms up for you soon when it cools down for us. Take care.

kidscrafts from Ottawa, Canada on January 27, 2014:

I love this one a lot, John! It's deep but said with humour! I think anyone who wants to be a poet should do it and never be ashamed. It's wonderful to be allowed to write poetry. It's a great way to let our feelings out! I love your title too :-) You often have original titles!

Great choice of pictures!

Have a wonderful week in warm Australia! In Canada, we are still in the Polar Vortex.... and it's cold! Brrrrrr!

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on January 27, 2014:

Thank you MsDora, thanks for your kind comments. Glad you found it both funny and inspirational.

Dora Weithers from The Caribbean on January 27, 2014:

Great lines, Jodah. Funny on the surface, but really inspirational in depth. Super creative!

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on January 27, 2014:

Hi again Jane. I get my inspiration from lots of places. Sometimes I have no idea what to write about, then WHAM! I read something, hear some music, just have a weird idea jump into my head, and come up with a poem. I am really looking at self publishing my first book of poetry. Even that's kind of scary for me, but wish me luck. Thank you for your generous comments , vote up and share.

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on January 27, 2014:

Hey Theatre girl, Thank you for reading this poem and your wonderful comments. I thought it was a subject a lot of people here could relate to. Blessings back to you.

Jane Arden on January 27, 2014:

This is awesome. Where do you get your inspiration? You really are a creative wonderful poet. Not a poetic fool. You're right too, we ALL have a book in us and some of us are ashamed of it. Me personally, I fear rejection. Hence I self publish. Ha ha. Voted Up and shared. I had to...!!! Brilliant.

Jennifer from New Jersey on January 27, 2014:

Very unique! Love the theme and one most people can relate to if they write poetry. Thanks for sharing. I enjoy the rhythms of the words you strung together. Blessings to you.

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on January 27, 2014:

Haha Eric, sorry to do that to you. It could require surgery.

Eric Dierker from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on January 27, 2014:

Wonderfully done. But this one made me squeamish. The whole time I just thought,,, hmmm what is getting it out does not cure the ill?

Mary McShane from Fort Lauderdale, Florida on January 27, 2014:

I'm uploading a Kindle book as we speak. Amazon is far easier to use than lulu, so take a look there when you are ready. Look at other uploaded collections to see the length of and how many poems/short stories they included. It will give you a better idea and help take the pressure off decision making. I never meant that you were sitting on your hands, my dear. I only wanted to give you a little reminder. What a nice compliment about inspiration, though I don't know how that happened. The last time I inspired someone, they took my advice about going out on early retirement and he's sitting in the next room! UGH

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on January 26, 2014:

Hi Mary, I have looked at those links and also checked out Lulu. I have been busy organizing poems onto word documents and stuff, so not sitting on my hands. It's still a little daunting working out what poems to include and what not to, but I'm getting there....lol.

Thanks for your encouragement, you know I appreciate it. Glad you liked this poem, you helped inspire it. ;)

Mary McShane from Fort Lauderdale, Florida on January 26, 2014:

How very true - "We all at some stage write some verse." I sure can't rhyme like you though!

Creatively funny. Well done, John!

BTW, The book IS inside you, and it is screaming to get out. You've been publishing about every day or every other day. So I know that you have quite an assembled body of work. All you have to do is organize it and use the links I gave you to get busy!

Now stop hoping about it and start working. I want to see a book out soon. I'm sure your readers do too.

Good naturedly meant,

Your friend, Mary

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on January 26, 2014:

Thank you for reading tatumrangel. Good to see a new face and feel free to visit my hubs any time.

Tatum Rangel from Los Angeles on January 26, 2014:

Thank you for sharing. I really enjoyed this poem.

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on January 26, 2014:

Thanks for the vote Frank, I like all those words...lol.

Frank Atanacio from Shelton on January 26, 2014:

this was clever, funny, creative.. voted awesome!!!

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on January 26, 2014:

Thanks Jackie, Glad you found this poem special. It was just an idea that came to me, the urge to write feels like an illness sometimes...lol.

John Hansen (author) from Australia (Gondwana Land) on January 26, 2014:

Thank you Faith as always. I hope she doesn't either. It was just an excuse to go see her ;)

Hopefully I can publsh a book in the not too distant future. Thanks for voting up and sharing.

Jackie Lynnley from the beautiful south on January 26, 2014:

I love it and it is a special one! These don't come easy and when they do we know it, huh? ^+

Faith Reaper from southern USA on January 26, 2014:

hahaha Very creative once again! Well, I hope that doctor does not cure you of your illness of writing poetry, so you can maybe one day publish that book full of them!!!

Up and more and sharing

Blessings,

Faith Reaper

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