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Governor Murphy's Mask Mandate Was to Hide His Ugly Face


NJ Governor Phil Murphy recently gave an interview in which he explained that the mask mandate was really to hide his ugly mug.

“I felt liberated from the fact that people weren't staring at my nasty looking face all the time anymore.” He explained. “I held onto the mask mandate as long as I could as I needed an excuse to wear a mask in public.”

Governor Murphy's brave stand on forcing people to wear masks against their will saved many many lives, just none of those people that he transferred into nursing homes that were Covid positive patients. Which was also a brave move by him.

“I basically did a copy and paste of what Governor Cuomo was doing. Because the media praised him for all the great things that he did I figured I do the exact same thing and get my numbers up as well.” New Jersey did have the second highest Covid patients and deaths in the USA thanks to Governor Murphy's actions.

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“We honestly believe that forcing people to wear masks made other people feel better about how ugly they are as well. We have to admit it, there is no evidence that masks brought the numbers down at all but it did make ugly people feel more comfortable going outside and interacting with others from more than 6 feet apart.”

Governor Murphy not only hid ugly faces from the public for over a year but he also made sure that 1/3 of all small private owned businesses were completely crush forever by his brave and unconstitutional lockdowns. We commend him for crushing the spirits of all those go-getters out there. He let it be known New Jersey is not a place to do business. Or have elderly parents.

The governor would like people to call him by his new nickname “Copy and paste Cuomo”. Murphy proudly announced. “I'm actually going to get my nipples pierced just like Governor Cuomo did!” He said it as excited as a 12-year-old girl going to the Mall.

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