What can I do with my Gold Bullion Bars?
● You can do lots of things. Due to its special properties gold is our most versatile of mined minerals and can be moulded and shaped in a variety of ways and for a number of uses.
● Because it never tarnishes, is easy to work, conducts electricity, can be moulded into wire strands, hammered into thin sheets, mixed easily with other metals and can be melted and cast into all sorts of objects gold is much better for making things than plastic.
● So why have hundreds of little bars sitting in front of you serving no useful purpose; unless of course your coffee table needs new legs. I have seen people use their gold in this way but it doesn’t really work and looks a bit showy off.
● Its beauty, purity, colour and brilliant lustre lights up any room with a golden glow. Please remember that gold has unintentional side effects on humans as it sometimes turns them green. I’m not really sure why this is, but it could be something to do with envy.
I’m interested: What equipment do I need to start?
That’s the beauty of gold all you need is your standard toolkit: That’s the dusty thing that is lying on the top shelf in your garage that you bought when you decided to do your own house maintenance. It’s where your servants hid it after your first attempt at repairing a burst water pipe resulted in the local reservoir draining into your basement.
I’m ready: Let’s get started
● Now hold on, we just need to calm down a little bit. I’m all for enthusiasm but enthusiasm without preparation can cause accidents.
● So you have the toolkit, now you need to get out of that tuxedo and into a boiler suit. Tuxedos may be OK for the Oscars but right now we need you in a nice shade of denim blue.
● Then we have to get the atmosphere right. We could have the relaxing chamber music played by your in-house string quartet but to hit the right notes we need some thumping beat music. I suggest Willie Nelson who keeps a pretty good beat.
● Finally; No Smoking. Absolutely No Smoking. Take that 9 inch King of Denmark cigar out of your mouth and put it in one of those handy little pockets in your boiler suit.
All suited up: Can I start now?
● Right let’s get going. Why don’t we start with something simple... Jewellery.
● As you know jewellery is the prime use of gold, with around 78% of the annual recycled or mined gold used in its manufacture.
● Now do not worry about what the so called experts say; that it takes time and craftsmanship, that’s just a myth to get you to use these people.
● First thing to know is that it makes no difference what karat of gold you use, the process is the same. See nothing difficult or any craftsmanship required to work that one out.
● To get started try a simple design. Let’s use a ring for example. Now we don’t need any fancy design it’s not intended for use by Frodo Baggins so it doesn’t have to make you invisible. Just a simple 24k ring that’s all we want.
● Now open your toolkit and take out the wax carvers, sprue, investment flask, hand gravers, drills and files. While you’re in there get a mould of wax; it’s usually right at the bottom of the box since it is little used. Don’t forget your gold bullion bar we definitely need that.
● We are now going to invest. Nope it’s not that kind of invest, this is wax invest and is so much more fun than making money.
● Now attach the sprue to the wax. This gives us a channel for the melting wax to escape during burn-out and for the molten gold to enter during casting.
● Put the wax in the investment flask, don’t bother with the debubblising or creating a vacuum or the other apparent “mandatory” stages in the process, these are just time wasting methods with little benefit.
● Now place your investment flask in the oven which should be pre-heated to gas mark 7 (225C or 425F). If you wish, to save time and money, you can also put a chicken in as these will happily cook together. Make sure you put foil over the chicken as there is no market for gold plated chickens at this time.
● Another great time saving tip is to put your gold in its little crucible and instead of using a blow torch stick that in the oven to.
● Now go and read a book, but remember to check on the progress of your items every three or four hours.
Your asking yourself; “how do I know when everything’s ready?” Easy!
● The gold is ready when it is a runny, liquidy gold looking slurry. The chicken is ready when it smells nice and the mould is ready when all the wax has melted and only a hollow replica remains.
● This is the best bit. Put on your oven gloves and spin the crucible around next to the hollow mould and once you spin it fast enough it will be forced into the mould through centrifugal force.
● Blow on the mould until it solidifies, you could use a hairdryer set on cold if you are really lazy, and then, using a light touch with a sledgehammer, smash the mould to pieces and out will pop your ring.
Now what was difficult about that?
● All that remains is to put the ring on the finger of someone you are in love with. I understand in your case that would be your finger.
● Finally get the servants to clean up the mess.
I’m hooked: What else can I make?
● Now that you understand the process what you can make is only limited by the number of gold bullion bars you have.
● Why not try your hand at electronics. Remember gold doesn’t corrode or tarnish and conducts electricity so it is ideal for connectors, relay contacts and soldered joints. There are bits of gold in most modern electronic equipment so why not build mobile phones or lap tops. You only need a couple of more tools from that toolkit of yours and you’re on your way to another few million dollars.
● I shouldn’t tell you this but each mobile phone has about 50 cents worth of gold in it. If you take an average of one billion phones being made annually and multiply by 50 cents you have 500 million dollars worth of gold. I know it’s not a lot for you, but it would help with your bar bills.
● Don’t forget gold for teeth. I don’t mean a swap meet, but using gold to make teeth. These are easier to make than jewellery and they look great. I suppose that’s where the saying “she’s got a dazzling smile” comes from. They’re also instant money if you are out for the night and forget your credit card.
Please remember that the bullion bars might look nice and shiny but they are not toys. Having said that you could make a gold, full size, Bugs Bunny or Daffy Duck but that would use up all your bars meaning you would have none left for a rainy day… and that’s all folks!!
@ 2013 Brian McKechnie (aka WorldEarth)