Funny jokes About in Laws
Mother-in-law VS daughter in-law
Ooops
A man returned home from the night shift and went straight up to the bedroom. He found his wife with the sheet pulled over her head, fast asleep. Not to be denied, the horny husband crawled under the sheet and proceeded to make love to her. Afterward, as he hurried downstairs for something to eat, he was startled to find breakfast on the table and his wife pouring coffee.
"How'd you get down her so fast?" he asked. "We were just making love!"
"Oh my God," his wife gasped, "That's my mother up there! She came over early and had complained of having a headache. I told her to lie down for awhile."
Rushing upstairs, the wife ran to the bedroom. "Mother, I can't believe this happened. Why didn't you say something?"
The mother-in-law huffed, "I haven't spoken to that jerk for fifteen years, and I wasn't about to start now!"
Why Mother In Laws Should Knock
Bury Me At Sea
Herb: Promise me that when I die, I'll be buried way out at sea, with nothing around for miles.
Blanche: Why would you want that?
Herb: Because your mother vowed to dance on my grave.
Son In-Law in the family biz
A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new
son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the
family," said the man. "To show you how much we care for you, I'm
making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the
factory every day and learn the operations."
The son-in-law interrupted, "I hate factories. I can't stand the
noise."
"I see," replied the father-in-law. "Well then you'll work in
the office and take charge of some of the operations."
"I hate office work," said the son-on-law. "I can't stand being
stuck behind a desk all day."
"Wait a minute," said the father-in-law. "I just made you
half-owner of a moneymaking organization, but you don't like factories and
won't work in a office. What am I going to do with you?"
"Easy," said the young man. "Buy me out."
And the clock on the wall says. . .
Wife: Dear, this afternoon the big clock fell off the wall.
Had it fallen a moment sooner, my mother would have been hit on the head and
badly hurt.
Husband : Oh, my God! That clock has always been slow.
My mother-in-law is an angel
Fred and Rick were in a pub. Fred says to his mate, 'My mother-in-law
is an angel.'
Rick replies, 'You're lucky. Mine is still alive.'
What is the difference between outlaws and in-laws? Outlaws are Wanted.
Adam and Eve were the happiest, and the luckiest, couple in the world, because neither of them had a mother-in-law.
My In-Laws Made an Outlaw Out of Me
Use Old Before New
A constantly nagged and harried husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a
cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year Christmas came again and this year he didn't buy her any gift.
Mother-in-law was upset and asked the son-in-law why was she forgotten this
time.
The angry son-in-law responded, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I
bought you last year!"
JEFF BATES MY INLAWS ARE OUTLAWS
Death on Vacation
During their vacation and while they were visiting Jerusalam, George's mother-in-law died.
With death certificates in hand, George went to the American Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the body back to the states for proper burial.
The Consul, after hearing of the death of the
mother-in-law told George that the sending of a body back to the states for
burial is very, very expensive. It could cost as much as $5,000.00.
The Consul continues, in most cases the person responsible for the remains normally decides to bury the body here. This would only cost $150.00.
George thinks for some time and answers, "I don't care how much it will cost to send the body back; that's what I want to do."
The Consul, after hearing this, says, "You must have loved your mother-in-law very much consdering the difference in price."
"No, it's not that," says George. "You see, I know of a case years ago of a person that was buried here in Jerusalem. On the third day he arose from the dead !
I just can't take that chance.
I Am Single Because
Comments
Mr Nice (author) from North America on August 13, 2010:
Welcome equealla,
Thanks for the very nice comments. I am 100% sure your crowd at home will love it too. Please come again and visit my other hubs too. Good night
equealla from Pretoria, South Africa on August 12, 2010:
I must not laugh too loud, cause the fate of being a mom in law is still awaiting me. Uggggh. This is a title I have to dodge, so must think of something else they must call me. Will discuss it with my crowd @ home. lol
This was funny. I needed the laugh!
Mr Nice (author) from North America on July 27, 2010:
Welcome gangu786,
Thanks for your thoughtful comments. Please come back & visit my other hubs too. Enjoy rest of your day.
gangu786 on July 27, 2010:
funny cracks keep it up
Mr Nice (author) from North America on July 26, 2010:
Welcome lovekv,
Thanks for reading & commenting. Please come again & visit my other hubs too. Enjoy rest of your day.
lovekv on July 26, 2010:
SUPER BODY KEEP IT UP
Mr Nice (author) from North America on July 23, 2010:
Hi Baileybear,
Thanks I appreciate for your nice comments. Please come again. Have a wonderful day.
Baileybear on July 22, 2010:
great punchline!
Mr Nice (author) from North America on July 18, 2010:
Hi sameerk,
Thanks for the visit, reading and commenting on this hub. Please come again. Have a wonderful weekend.
sameerk from India on July 18, 2010:
hillarious
Mr Nice (author) from North America on July 15, 2010:
Welcome MaryRenee,
Thanks for reading & leaving your wonderful thoughts. I really appreciate, please come again. Good night
MaryRenee on July 15, 2010:
Mr Nice: Lol, what a great hub! Thanks for sharing! :)
Mr Nice (author) from North America on July 03, 2010:
Hi Dr. Cherie,
How are you? Thanks for reading and commenting. Hope to see you soon again. Enjoy your weekend.
Cherie Santasiero PhD from Hamburg, NY on July 02, 2010:
Hey, Mr. Nice,
Checkin' in and got many chuckles. When I need another, I'll be back. Great hub, nice change, and I'll be waiting for more. Thanks!
Mr Nice (author) from North America on June 30, 2010:
Welcome Minnetonka Twin,
Thanks for the nice comments. Please come again. Enjoy rest of your day.
Linda Rogers from Minnesota on June 30, 2010:
That was a blast! thanks for the great hub!
Mr Nice (author) from North America on June 28, 2010:
Welcome again KoffeeKlatch Gals,
Thanks for reading another hub & commenting. Please come again. enjoy rest of your day.
Susan Hazelton from Northern New York on June 28, 2010:
Mr Nice your jokes are very funny. I especially like Use Old Before New. Also you have great cips. I enjoyed this hub very much.
Mr Nice (author) from North America on June 04, 2010:
Kako si Tatjana,
Thanks I really appreciate for your thoughtful comments. I also know you really deserve more traffic because you are working harder than me & you have more hubs than me. Well, I just work smarter & only when I feel like to work.:D
When I am in good mood I produce excellent stuff to make you happy.
Your Island house sounds like a dreamland, when it's ready, do you think I can put my mattress somewhere too.....hahaha.
Well your traffic is good too but I think it's more from hubpages because you spent lots of time networking on hubpages. Good night
Always love, peace & happiness and a big hug. ....
Tatjana-Mihaela from Zadar, CROATIA on June 04, 2010:
Congratulations on 200.000, Tony. As Prettydarkhorse said - you really deserve it because you all make us laugh, what is so great. Thank you.
I often cannot reply on messages, because I am usually 4 days at week on the island (Iz is just behind island Ugljan, which is near Zadar), and there we still do not have Internet connection ( we have to start with building soon, so before we do not finish at least first part of house,( for what I hope it will go reasonably quickly), there is no point to bring PC there.
We also have olive trees there - 40-50 old ones and some new ones (just bought 5 today), so it will be a lot of olive oil in the future...and lot of digging as well, LOL.
I enjoy it...it is much more interesting and relaxing then listening about diseases, hehe....
BTW, I will have to learn from you how you use right tags for hubs, your traffic is excellent. I also hit 200000, but...I think I deserve more, LOL.
Love and peace and many hugs.
Mr Nice (author) from North America on June 04, 2010:
Welcome Maita,
Blog is really pain in the butt, I didn't like the blog. I made one blog at blogspot but I never posted any updates. It is definitely not for me.
What is your experience about the Twitter? Thanks I really appreciate for your thoughtful comments. I just find out from the hubpages help section how accolades work.
The next level after 100,000 views is 1000,000 views and that is the time accolades will update.
Therefore looking at accolades you can't get the real stats about the hubber. I am thinking to make a hub about this.
Linking with other hubs will give you more traffic from hubpages but it is not useful because hubbers don't click on your links. Therefore Google organic traffic is the best. I always prefer Google organic traffic. Good night
Tony
prettydarkhorse from US on June 03, 2010:
yuu are hilariously crazy hehe, in a good sense cos you made my day very good now, I kept on laughing, I hibernated for at least a week, I learned a lot from the 60 day challenge, days are good at times, I am just happy that I learned something, and I am the type who would like to learn and push myself that I can do it, but always challenging myself, I learned to make a blog, but i don't have time for it, I just post my hubs there for the thirty days in making hubs as part if th challenge.
I am good, how about you?
Congratulations, you deserve to have 200 hundred thousand and more views, you make people happier with your hubs...more more more, that's a great achievement considering you don't backlink, but you are a genius at words hehe
Take care Tony, Maita
Mr Nice (author) from North America on May 23, 2010:
Welcome rls8994,
Thanks for reading & commenting. Please come again. Have a wonderful weekend.
rls8994 from Mississippi on May 23, 2010:
These were hilarious!! I so enjoyed reading them! Thanks for the laughs!
Mr Nice (author) from North America on May 22, 2010:
Welcome dinkan53,
Thanks for reading & commenting. I do have many more funny hubs. You can visit them whenever you can. Have a wonderful weekend.
Mr Nice (author) from North America on May 22, 2010:
Welcome back Tatjana,
How are you stranger? Looooong time no chat. Well you are busy making money. I really appreciate for your visit & for the thoughtful comments. I made several funny hubs during your absence. You can can visit them if you have time. Have a wonderful weekend.
Always love, peace & happiness for you......
dinkan53 from India on May 21, 2010:
funny, thanks for sharing. Waiting for more.......
Tatjana-Mihaela from Zadar, CROATIA on May 21, 2010:
Excellent, hilarious, I love your funny Hubs, Tony.
Peace and hugs.
Mr Nice (author) from North America on May 21, 2010:
welcome samboiam,
Thanks for reading & commenting. Please come again. Have a wonderful weekend.
Mr Nice (author) from North America on May 21, 2010:
welcome theindianblues,
Thanks & I appreciate for your comments. Please come again. Have a wonderful weekend.
samboiam from Texas on May 21, 2010:
That was absolutely hilarious. I needed the laugh.
theindianblues from Some where on the Globe on May 21, 2010:
Nice jokes Mr Nice! Good sense of humor!!
Mr Nice (author) from North America on May 21, 2010:
Hi drbj,
Thanks for the visit & for your thoughtful comments. I try my best to select the funniest & best stuff. Please come again & have wonderful day.
drbj and sherry from south Florida on May 21, 2010:
Hi, Mr. Nice, nice hub. Your jokes are funny and some of them were even new to me. Not an easy task because I collect really funny jokes and stories. Thanks for the funny videos, too. Good job.
