Funny Quotes and Sayings Said Wrong

StricktlyDating is an Australian writer who creates pages of original funny quotes and status updates.

Laugh out loud with this hilarious collection of funny quotes and sayings said the wrong way, mixed up, and said backwards, which gives them new meaning and makes them a lot more funnier than they were ever meant to be! You can also add your favourite funny sayings said wrong in the comments section at the bottom of the page.

• Correct me if you're wrong.
• It was nerve wrecking.
• It was nerve shattering.
• A blessing in the skies.
• Over my spit milk.
• It gives me peach of mind.
• Do you want a peach of me?
• Laugh out load.
• It takes two to tangle.
• Back in the golden days.
• You've made your cake, now lie in it.
• Play it by year.
• Don’t judge me by my cover.
• I don’t want to squark about it right now.
• Cry like it never happened.
• Cry like there's always tomorrow.
• Crying like a lady.
• Don’t single me in.
• Respect the unexpected.
• Rain wasn't built in a day.
• Whole kick and caboodle.
• My life flashed between my eyes.
• I'll see it when I believe it.
• I’ll see it when I see it.
• Go hard and go home.
• Go hard and go away.
• Don't let the bed bugs fight.
• Don't quit when it's over.
• Long time, I'll see.
• You made your bed, now eat it.
• Don't never give up.
• Trust a known one.
• We'll burn that bridge when we come to it.
• You hit the head on the nail.
• Bone apple tea.
• It's music to my years.
• It is what it was.
• The path to success is over easy.
• Barking up the wrong creek.
• Either you run the day, or you run away.
• Fool me once, strike me twice.
• Be who you aren't.
• I mistook me for a fool.
• If you can't be you, be someone else.
• Never lay with those who wait.
• It's like water over the bridge.
• Sticks and stones may break my bones but time heels all wounds.
• There's no place like a house on fire.

• I sing on the cake.
• Don't watch me like I'm a hawk.
• Don't steal my lightning.
• You changed right before my ice.
• That’s what I won’t to do.
• Lightning strikes when the iron is hot.
• You have a heart of steel.
• Get your heart off my sleeve.
• Don't kick the kettle back.
• Not the sharpest tool on the block.
• It's not to be a feared.
• Some things aren’t meant to beat.
• Gave them a taste of their own medication.
• Give them a taste of your own medication.
• Take your cake and eat it too.
• You took the cake.
• You scarred the life out of me.
• I find you very a peeling.
• Early to bed, late to shine.
• If you can't join them, leave them.
• See you never.
• There's plenty of chicks in the sea.
• Been that, done there.
• It's never too soon to teach an old dog new tricks.
• There's more than one way to bring a cat.
• As light as the weather.
• The early bird gathers no moss.
• Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
• It's the pop calling the kettle back.
• Never give pup.
• A step in time saves nine.
• What comes around, comes around.
• What comes around never comes back.
• Don't put all your eggs in the one casket.
• What goes around comes back again.
• No news is good for you.
• No news in never no good news.
• It's harder done than said.
• It's harder said than read.
• It's harder never said than done.
• It's how the turntables turn.
• Time heals all gains.
• Time flies when you're feeling fun.
• Keep your friends clothes.
• The best is yet to be over.
• The best is begun.
• Everything happens for the season.
• Everything happens for the sea son.
• Don't give up your dreams, keep sleeping.
• You mean something to someone on the inside.
• Better late than not at all.
• Better late than present.
• The best things in life aren't free.
• Don't say what you mean.
• It's all water under the fridge.
• It's water off your own back.
• I'm feeling find.
• I can't find how I felt.
• Don't judge a fool by it's cover.
• Don't judge a book by it's pages.
• The grass is always better on the other side.
• If the shoe fits, buy it.
• It's a peach of cake.
• All good things come to those who look.
• It's survival of the fitness.
• An eye for another eye.
• A good memory never forgets.
• A stitch in time saves mind.
• You can't have your cake and beat it too.
• In the heat of the present.
• You can't judge a book by it's clothes.
• In the light of the night time.
• Don't understand until you know the whole story.
• Don't bight the bed bugs.
• You made your cake now lie in it.
• For all insects and purposes.
• For all intents and purchases.
• For all insensitive purposes.
• Don't fight the cooks who feed you.
• It's a walk in the lake.
• It's not rock science.
• Been there, been that.
• Better the devil you don't know.
• Don't count all your chickens before they cross the road.
• Don't count your eggs before they're in the basket.
• Don't take me for granite.
• Don't just do nothing, stand there!
• When the turns have tided.
• Patience of a plate.
• Only fools rush away.
• I'm asleep in wolves clothing.
• I have a photogenic memory.
• It's like water off your own back.
• How's your daddy?
• My body is my pyramid.
• Once bitten, twice try.
• It's always safe to be sorry.
• It's better to try than to say sorry.
• It's like sunshine on a sunny day.
• Beauty is in the eye of the tiger.
• Beauty is in the eye of the boulder.
• Turn your frown inside out.
• Shut your mouth while you're talking to me.
• He's not the sharpest shed.
• It's like watching paint dying.
• Don't cry because it's over, smile because it's over.
• There's so many fish in the broth.

• You never know what’s around the wall.
• Don't trust him as you can throw him.
• Give him and inch and he'll hit the nail on the head.
• The grass is always greener when you look on the bright side.
• Always look on the right side.
• Always look on the bright side of the road.
• Nothing changes everything.
• Act your age not your size.
• Act your size.
• You've got another think coming.
• Like a wolf in cheap clothes.
• Focus on the negative.
• Don't sweat on the small things.
• No rain, no flowers.
• Treat me with neutral respect.
• I know the way like the back of my feet.
• I love you to noon and back.
• Don't dance around the bush.
• Like two peed in a pot.
• The corn before the storm.
• Isn't it iconic.
• No point in crying if your milk is spilt.
• What goes around must come down again.
• If you can't beat them, stay out of the kitchen.
• The shoe is greener on the other foot.
• A leopard can't change it's shots.
• You win some to some one.
• You win some you loose.
• Don't let who you are find you.
• Don't tell me something I don't already know.
• Tell me something you don't know.
• Tell me something I know.
• Don't bight off more than you bargained for.
• Hunt or be hundred.
• I'm ready to fold the towel.
• I'm folding over the towel.
• Don't give up, keep crying.
• Knock on good.
• Don't touch wood.
• You mistook my kindness for weak knees.

• Open your eyes and listen.
• I'm on the road to somewhere.
• Not the brightest tool in the head.
• Wait until the clouds are clear.
• Look before you lead.
• That went under my head.
• In through the ears and out through the nose.
• An apple a day doesn't fall far from the tree.
• A fish in time saves mind.
• Don't cry over chickens before they've hatched.
• A rolling eye gathers no moss.
• Too many cooks don't break a leg.
• As clean as a thistle.
• Too many chooks spoil the broth.
• In one ear and out one other.
• Don’t give up your day dream.
• My trust is hurt.
• My heart got opened.
• As fat As a fiddle.
• A rolling stone crosses the road.
• Don’t blame me for what I did.
• Like a fish on the water.

© 2018 StrictlyQuotes

Comments

Audrey Hunt from Idyllwild Ca. on June 20, 2018:

What a fun article. A great way to start my day. We tend to take life too serious. This is a great reminder to set aside time to laugh. Thanks.

Peg Cole from North Dallas, Texas on April 08, 2018:

Like a deer between the front lights, you've hit a funny bone here.

masky’sWrite from SR Nueva Ecija Philippines on April 06, 2018:

I use that style

StrictlyQuotes (author) from Australia on April 06, 2018:

Thank you all for your lovely comments, I had so much fun creating this page.

FlourishAnyway from USA on April 05, 2018:

My grandmother, who slaughters the English language without mercy, has some of these. I’m almost certain.

John Hansen from Gondwana Land on April 05, 2018:

I have heard a few of these incorrect quotes. Quite funny. Wow, what a list.

DDE on April 05, 2018:

Funny quotes! It has been a while since you have written anything! Hope you are well. I enjoyed reading your hub!

Frank Atanacio from Shelton on April 05, 2018:

this was so good.. savvy don't give up keep crying...remember only fools rush away... Some Ive never heard before awesome!!!!