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Funny Pun - Number Ten

Funny Pun – Number Ten

Legend of Mel Faymee

Mel Faymee was a pitcher

For the Milwaukee Braves team.

His pitches so powerful,

Baseballs opened at the seam.


Was Mel the best pitcher

Who ever played the game?

Just ask any baseball fan,

They’ll give you Mel Faymee’s name.


He could throw a curve ball

That seemed to quickly fall,

More than one batter

Felt like throwing in the towel.


His fast ball came in over the plate

Going more than 90 miles per hour.

Every batter swung and missed

And then was sent to the shower.


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What about his change up ball?

It forced grown-up men to cry,

As it seemed to be heading

Right straight for their eye.


Then the ball quickly dropped

As if propelled by Fate,

It would not hit the batter

But hit the corner of the plate.


Mel played 30 years ago,

A home-grown baseball star.

Fans watched him win his games,

Then bought him drinks at the bar.


Mel loved the drinking part

Scotch and bourbon and rye.

He could always stay sober

With just a gleam in his eye.


There was one problem though.

Mel could not handle beer.

If he drank too much of it,

He jeopardized his career.

funny-pun-number-ten


The manager learned this fact,

How beer sent Mel on a bender.

So he banned the sale of beer

In the park by any vendor.


I know what you’re thinking,

If Mel was so good at the game,

Then why is he unknown

And not in the Hall of Fame?


As you probably guessed,

Alcohol was his nemesis.

Now I’ll tell you the rest

Repeated without prejudice.


Drinking beer did not affect Mel

Until the World Series.

I promise to relate to you

The truth, not just theories.


The Braves were playing the Yankees,

The series was tied.

Three games each team won.

"Go get ‘em," Mel’s fans cried.


funny-pun-number-ten

What the fans did not know

Was that the night before,

Mel broke the team’s curfew

And went to the liquor store.


With his thirst for beer,

Two cases he bought.

Mel drank every drop,

“It can’t hurt me,” he thought.


Now it was the final game

And Mel’s pitching was fine.

Until he reached the bottom

Of inning number nine.


The Braves were ahead

By one run with two outs.

The bases were loaded.

But Mel's having doubts.


The two cases of beer

He drank the night before

Have now done their work.

Mel's hung over and more.

funny-pun-number-ten


He threw eight fast pitches.

Yeah! Each pitch was a ball.

He walked both the batters

And the Braves lost it all.


Television was new back then,

Baseball was the biggest topic.

All the sportscasters had their view

Why Mel Faymee was myopic.


What caused his downfall?

They asked a Yankee caucus.

The answer from the players all:

“It was the BEER that made Mel Faymee walk us!”


(Dedicated to JayeWisdom who provided the inspiration.)

© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. 2012. All rights reserved. Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So"




More Funny Puns

  • Funny Pun - Number One
    Are puns the lowest form of humor? Who cares? I love them. Read about 'Stanley the Snail.' Didja know he was a hermaphrodite?
  • Funny Pun – Number Two
    Did you know that Leo the Lion was involved in the study of immortality? So were seagulls.
  • Funny Pun - Number Three
    John's son survived ... there was just one little problem ...
  • Funny Pun - Number Four
    Do you remember Sir Gawain, Galahad and Lancelot? And Lance’s younger brother? Handsome Sir Dancealot? Do you like awful puns? Then you are in the right place!

Comments

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on August 18, 2012:

Speaking of beer, my dear (can't let that opening go to waste), you might like to read my: "Tribute to Beer - An Amazing Beverage."

Stacy Harris from Hemet, Ca on August 18, 2012:

I really think maybe it was fate and karma on a date... speaking of beer...... :)

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on August 18, 2012:

How strange, Stacy, that you picked this pun about beer to read and comment on after my 'beer' comment on your enchanting wine hub. Then again maybe it's not so strange, simply Karma. Whatever, thanks for the sweet comments and the laughing.

Stacy Harris from Hemet, Ca on August 16, 2012:

Ha ha - Out of all the puns I could have picked I picked the one with beer. Ironic since you were just asking about beer since you had no wine on hand! Cute job! Still laughing!

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on August 16, 2012:

Thank you, KKGals, for enjoying this from beginning to end, and for the Up and funny. Still smiling, eh? That's a good sign.

Susan Hazelton from Northern New York on July 14, 2012:

Very funny. I enjoyed it from beginning to end. I'm still smiling. Up and funny.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on February 12, 2012:

Hi, Audrey. Delighted that your brother who is a huge baseball fan loved this punny poem and shared it with his 4 grown sons. What a lucky man! Yes, by all means, have him read the previous nine Funny Puns, and Number Eleven just published.

You are a sweetie-pie and bing happiness to me with your 'golden' comments. Thank you, too, for the Up, my favorite direction!

Audrey Hunt from Pahrump NV on February 09, 2012:

Another great and very funny Pun! I had to send this to my brother who is a huge fan of baseball and almost as witty as you. He loved it so much...he called his 4 grown sons and shared your poem with each one. I told him you have many more available. Now, my brother wants them all! See what you've started? You bring happiness to people, my friend and that makes you pure gold in my book. UP and more!

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on February 07, 2012:

Smiling just because I wrote it, Martie! What a lovely compliment. Thank you. Not surprising that you didn't catch it (an apt expression of yours since this was a baseball pun). But the punchline was based on a very old marketing slogan of Schlitz beer - the beer that made Milwaukee (a city in Wisconsin) famous. Ergo, drinking all that beer made Mel Faymee walk us.

I do take care but the less I see of doctors, the better I feel!

Martie Coetser from South Africa on February 07, 2012:

I don't know Mel from Adam

but I know beer

and I know BEER

makes Mels

and Adams

unpredictable.

Although I did not catch this one, I read it all the way smiling. Just because you wrote it, drbj. Shows you - doesn't matter what you write, you always delight me.

Take care and listen to your doctor!

Justin W Price from Juneau, Alaska on January 23, 2012:

you're welcome, DRBj

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 21, 2012:

Thank you, Sharon, for liking my funny puns and for the present. Much obliged, my dear. We nuts - just kidding, of course - have to stick together.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 21, 2012:

Thank you, James, for your exceptional comments. I love when someone indicates I am a 'wit,' as long as they don't preface the word with 'half.'

Now that's what I call a genuine fast ball - the batter only heard it!

Although football is my favorite spectator sport, I do admire some of baseball's characters, in particular, the catcher, Yogi Berra. I often quote his quotable remarks.

Sharon Smith from Northeast Ohio USA on January 19, 2012:

Thank you Dr. BJ - your funny puns are really great. I have a present for you - sent with much love and respect - enjoy - http://www.kingnut.com/

James A Watkins from Chicago on January 19, 2012:

And yet more awesome writing from you. You have got the gift, in spades. I always enjoy your wit.

It is not related to your story so much but at one juncture it made me think of when Walter Johnson first came up to the big leagues with his incredible, for the time, fastball. In one big game, a batter was overhead complaining about a strike called. He said, "It sounded high to me ump!" :D

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 16, 2012:

Hey, PDXKaraokeGub - nice to meet you. Any reader who finds my hub 'entertaining' is a friend of mine, indeed. Thank you for finding it.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 16, 2012:

Hi, acaetnna - Gratified that you found this awesome and fun. Yes, by all means, go back and read the rest. Put them to the test. And do let me know what you think, m'dear.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 16, 2012:

So you read the commentary, Kelly? That makes TWO of us! Delighted that it may have answered any questions you had. Thanks for the 'very punny' and enjoying the 'crazy' photo. Me, too.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 16, 2012:

Thank you, Dex, for your awesome comments. You are an excellent writer, too, my friend. I am particularly fond of your morning 'interviews' with the Obamas.

Delighted you were really 'into' this and thanks for the up.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 16, 2012:

What a pleasure to meet you, CloudExplorer. You are evidently a person of wit and perception since you found this hub to be 'cool ... solid ... a fun read.'

Thanks for the up and your sublime comments.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 16, 2012:

Thank you for laughing, christopher, and that awesome toast. Have one on me at the pub, my friend.

Justin W Price from Juneau, Alaska on January 14, 2012:

very entertaining hub, my friend

acaetnna from Guildford on January 13, 2012:

Oh awesome and so much fun. I shall now go back and read the rest.

Kelly Umphenour from St. Louis, MO on January 12, 2012:

Drbj - you are so good - I had to read the commentary because I knew somebody along the way would ask! Lol. Very punny:)

That photo is crazy!

Dexter Yarbrough from United States on January 12, 2012:

I really do wish I could write like you, Dr. BJ! Wow, this was simply great. Baseball is my favorite sport so I was really into it. Voted up, up and away!

Mike Pugh from New York City on January 12, 2012:

Cool hub here, I like the twist on the ball playing and reality people don't see lol, even though I'm not into baseball any it was quite amusing to say the least, but as for the writings is concerned this hub is solid and made for a fun read overall.

Voted up thanks for sharing your creative writing talents with us all.

Christopher Antony Meade from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom on January 12, 2012:

I get it now, and I am laughing as well. For my punishment, I shall make a trip to the pub, and then drink to your health and your wit. Thanks for the explanation.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 11, 2012:

Always a pleasure to have you visit b.Malin. Happy I could throw you a curve ball this time. Thanks for the kind comments.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 11, 2012:

Happy Days to you, too, amillar. Delighted to know about your intimate connections with Milwaukee. :)

b. Malin on January 11, 2012:

Very Clever Drbj, didn't see that "Curve" coming...Always a Fun time at your Hub Pages!

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 11, 2012:

Hi, Chris. I hit a grand slam with this one? What an exceptional comment. Thank you for the kind words and loving it.

amillar from Scotland, UK on January 11, 2012:

I know of Milwaukee drbj. One of its exports made a loser out of Rod Stewart and I used to operate a Milwaukee milling machine. Happy Days.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 11, 2012:

Wow, Froggy Prince, 5 stars and an Up. You have touched my heart. Is there a Mrs. Frog at home" If so, she is a lucky feminine amphibian.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 11, 2012:

Hi, Pamela, thank you for stopping by and your plethora of gracious adjectives ... as usual. Your visits are always appreciated ... as are you, m'luv.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 11, 2012:

Thank you, Alastar, for your very kind words. I knew you would have little difficulty with this punny fun, er ... funny pun.

Oh, oh, you are singing 'ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer...' Now I'll be humming that all day and it will be YOUR fault!

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 11, 2012:

Thanks for the 'Ha. Ha,' amillar. - Faymeey punny indeed!

Just wonderin' - since I believe you do not reside in the U.S., were you able to decipher the punchline easily?

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 11, 2012:

Hi, steph. Thanks for finding this entertaining and fun! Yes, please do read the previous 9 funny puns and let me know what your boys think, too. Cheers, backatacha. :)

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 11, 2012:

Thank you, dotty1, for finding me and enjoying this pun number ten. Please read the previous nine if you wish and let me know what you think.

You may enjoy in particular my Interviews with Dead Celebrities, Weird Animals and Psychic Vegetables.

Oh, and thanks for the Fab!!!

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 11, 2012:

What a pleasure to see you here again, Rose. Thank you for your gracious comments, especially since you are not 'into' baseball. Delighted that I made it fun for you, m'dear.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 11, 2012:

Thank you, Patti, for love, love, loving my puns. Regarding your hubs, m'dear, the feeling is mutual. Thanks, too for the Up, funny and awesome!

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 11, 2012:

Hi, Trishita, nice to meet you and thank you for the 'nice' and 'creativity.' When you use pleasant adjectives like that, you don't have to say much. :)

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 11, 2012:

There is absolutely nothing wrong with your tremendously creative brain, christopher, early in the morning or any other time.

This IS a cultural thing since it pertains to American baseball and a slogan popular in the U.S. some time ago created by the Schlitz Brewing Company. I'm referring to: "Schlitz - the Beer that made Milwaukee (Wisconsin) Famous." Okay? Are we still Hubbuddies?

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 11, 2012:

And thank you for returning to congratulate me for my creative verse, for the 'Terrific!' and dedicating this effort to you. You deserve it.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 11, 2012:

I'm the one to thank you, Jaye, for mentioning that old 'Schlitz' slogan in the first place. If it is special to you because of specific memories, then you have made my day!

You are most welcome.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 11, 2012:

Hi, missolive, it's a pleasure to meet a fan of my funny puns and other assorted prose and verse. Thanks for enjoying this and the Up.

I think my 'Interviews' with assorted dead celebrities might also appeal to your well-honed sense of humor. :)

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 11, 2012:

Hi, Angelia. I know this pun was a little more difficult to solve, especially if one was not a diehard baseball fan or remembered hearing the Schlitz beer slogan.

So I apologize for any inconvenience you may have suffered and trust your neck is recovering. Smiling is good. And thanks m'dear, for loving it.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 11, 2012:

Thank you, Daisy, for finding this a 'fun pun.' And thanks also for taking the time to explain the 'pun'chline. You and your comment are much appreciated.

Now take a look at the other nine funny puns, m'dear, and let me know what you think. :)

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 11, 2012:

Thank you, Rosemary, for finally enjoying the read. I know that American baseball may not be everyone's cup of tea.

Mel thanks you, too.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 11, 2012:

Knowing how 'quick' and clever you really are, Mary, I am not at all surprised that you got it. Cheers, m'dear. I'm too funny for words? What a lovely compliment.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 11, 2012:

Funny you should mention it, Feline, but I did think of adding an explanation for that somewhat famous at the time but now perhaps obscure beer slogan ... but then had second thoughts.

Thanks for figuring it out on your own - I knew you would - and the 'beery funny.'

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 11, 2012:

Please accept my apology for any embarrassment this pun may have caused you, snakeslane. Look on the bright side. Now you know a little more about the American pastime of playing baseball ... and drinking beer.

Thank you for visiting and the groan - makes my day, y'know.

And 'Always' (Ruby) thanks you, too.

Chris Merritt from Pendleton, Indiana on January 11, 2012:

Okay, you just hit a grand slam on this one!!

THAT was excellent!! I loved it!

Chris

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 11, 2012:

Loved your funny poetic rejoinder, Ruby.

Thank you for your time and creativity.

It is true that drinking beer was Mel's prime weakness,

It added to this baseball legend's rhyme uniqueness.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 11, 2012:

Awwwwww, Paradise. So sorry you ruined the pun for yourself by pronouncing Mel Faymee's name aloud. That'll teach ya.

Have you read all nine of the previous funny puns? Some day, not saying when, I may write another funny pun. Bribery with chocoolate cake is not necessary my dear, but chocolate chip cookies - that's another story!

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 11, 2012:

How nice to see you here, Cagsil. No apology is necessary that you did not know this baseball great. Not surprising since I made up the name to make the pun work.

I find or create a pun and then work backwards to create a plausible story (in verse) for the punchline. In this case, I was reminded by another Hubber of the famous advertising slogan by Schlitz Beer - 'the beer that made Milwaukee famous.' Ergo, there's the rationale for the punny punchline.

Thank you for your visit and enjoying the hub.

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 10, 2012:

Thank you, Susan, for your laudatory verse. The pleasure has been mine.

The Frog Prince from Arlington, TX on January 10, 2012:

drbj - 5 Stars and the up for your work.

The Frog

drbj and sherry (author) from south Florida on January 10, 2012:

Thank you for being the very first to comment, Victoria Lynn. It's a pleasure to meet you. Especially since you love puns, too. Yes, please do check out the other 9 Funny Puns. And thanks for the up, m'dear.

Pamela Oglesby from Sunny Florida on January 10, 2012:

Unique, clever and fun to read as usual. Great job!

Alastar Packer from North Carolina on January 10, 2012:

Yes Drbj, had to think abit on the pun too but then the slogan slid in to home base. Your the best punster this side of Miller Park and I'm inspired to start singing....ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer.....

amillar from Scotland, UK on January 10, 2012:

Ha Ha - Faymeey punny;)

Stephanie Marshall from Bend, Oregon on January 10, 2012:

Entertaining and fun! I'll have to go back and read funny pun numbers 1-9 now. My boys love baseball, so I will have to share this with them. Cheers, Steph

dotty1 from In my world on January 10, 2012:

Fab!!! I really enjoyed this and look forward to reading more of your hubs

Rosemary Amrhein on January 10, 2012:

Very good rhyme and visual, I'm not into baseball but this made it fun!

breakfastpop on January 10, 2012:

Do you have any idea how much I enjoy these? Love them, love them, love them. Up funny and awesome!

Trishita Banerjee from Kolkata,India on January 10, 2012:

Nice.Your comments testifies your creativity.I don't have much to say

Christopher Antony Meade from Gillingham Kent. United Kingdom on January 10, 2012:

This may be a cultural thing, but I have read the pun about ten times and totally don't get it. Is it a Baseball thing?

Somebody enlighten me please. Maybe its too early in the morning, and my brain is not functioning properly yet.

Jaye Denman from Deep South, USA on January 09, 2012:

By the way, I got so excited over the story that I forgot to congratulate you for converting it so wonderfully into verse and to thank you for dedicating it to me. Terrific!

Jaye

Jaye Denman from Deep South, USA on January 09, 2012:

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! You've made my day!

The reason the Mel Faymee story/pun is so important to me is because it was told to me years ago by a dear friend who passed away from cancer much too soon over a year ago. I will print this hub to keep and, every time I read it, remember how I laughed till I nearly cried the first time I heard it.

Again...thank you.

Jaye

Marisa Hammond Olivares from Texas on January 09, 2012:

Always a fan of your puns and of course your poems/prose too! Enjoyed!

voted up!

femmeflashpoint on January 09, 2012:

LOL Doc!

You stumped me. I was even turning my head sideways hoping that'd help ... different point of view and all. (Wink!)

I stayed puzzled to the point of frustration until, like Snakeslane, I spotted Paradise7's comment.

Now I've got my neck straight again, and smiling as well.

I love it!

femme

Daisy Mariposa from Orange County (Southern California) on January 09, 2012:

What a fun pun! You had to know a little bit about American baseball, but what you really had to know was the beer commercial tag line "The beer that made Milwaukee famous." (Now, go back and read the last line of the Hub.)

Rosemary Sadler from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand on January 09, 2012:

I was slow to get this one too, a little short on American blood and enthusiasm for baseball. But I did enjoy the read.

Mary Hyatt from Florida on January 09, 2012:

I'm not too quick tonight! I had to go back and read this one again: got it!!! Pretty good, I'd say. You are too funny for words, you know that?

Feline Prophet on January 09, 2012:

Beery funny - once I figured it out! :D

(drbj, perhaps you should add a footnote for us non-American readers who may not get it - but I guess that would defeat the purpose!)

Verlie Burroughs from Canada on January 09, 2012:

Laughing at Always comment, too funny.

Verlie Burroughs from Canada on January 09, 2012:

I was so embarrassed I didn't get this but I don't know baseball or American beer, but then I got courage to come back when I saw Paradise 7 comment Groan! Regards, snakeslane

Ruby Jean Richert from Southern Illinois on January 09, 2012:

Mel could drink the liquor but not the beer?

That's really funny and a little queer

Poor Mel probably had to pee pee non stop

That stuff runs through and it ain't no drip drop

The moral of this story is plain to see

If you drink beer you're gonna have to pee pee

Paradise7 from Upstate New York on January 09, 2012:

LOL! I was kinda waiting for "Milwaukee Famous" towards the end because of the guy's name. I said it out loud and ruined the pun for myself. Oh, well, you'll write me another one? Yes? If I ask you really nice and maybe give you chocolate cake?

Raymond D Choiniere from USA on January 09, 2012:

Very cute writing. I've no clue who this person is/was. Sorry, I was a late comer to baseball. I never followed it until about the late 80's early 90's. However, I did enjoy the hub though. :)

Susan Zutautas from Ontario, Canada on January 09, 2012:

Another great pun has been spun...:)

Victoria Lynn from Arkansas, USA on January 09, 2012:

That was great! Voted up among others. I love puns, too. I'll have to check out more of yours. Very clever!

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