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Limericks - From Funny Famous Ditties To Rude Little Witty's!

Limericks can be traced as far back in History as the fourteenth Century, starting in England. They were mainly used as nursery rhymes for children, but of course because they were short and to the point, they spread to the inn's and taverns and ended up being bawdy and rather rude! So, as I was in a particularly funny mood, I thought that I would add a few of my favourites here. There were so many to choose from, and I thought that I had better only choose the ones that weren't, well, too bad, if you know what I mean! as I didn't want to shock the more delicate sensibilities of some of the more refined readers! Which of course is all of you! As you are so well behaved and such genteel ladees and gentlemen, I suggest that you read them with one eye closed, and that way it won't be as shocking to your delicate systems! Ah Ha

The word Limerick comes from the town in Ireland called, well, Limerick! Which is situated in the southern part of the country. Where songs were sung, and the bawdiness of the drunken man and the strumpet inn keeper's daughter brought a new type of poetry mixed with hilarity and this is what made the chorus change and of course brought us the famous Limerick .All because people had had too much to drink!. So there you have it, mixing the English drunkards with the poetic Irish, we ended up with the mixture of Limerick that we know so well today! Anyway, off we go, and if anybody has got any good ones, please feel free to add them at the bottom. I of course, know that you will be very sensible and just add sweet little poems! Uh Uumm! Hick! Sooo Shorry, too much tooo drinkkkkkk...............!

Merry Meet My Friends here's to the Ale and the Bawdiness!

 

There was an old man from Sprocket,

Who went up to Space in a Rocket,

The Rocket went bang,

His gonads went clang,

And his bum ended up in his pocket.

 

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 There was a young woman called Sally,

Who loved an occasional dally

She sat on the lap

Of a well endowed chap

And said 'You're right up my alley.

 A wonderful bird is the pelican

His bill can hold more than his belican

He can take in his beak

Food enough for a week

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But I'm damned if I see how the helican.

by Dixon Merritt.

 

 There was a young man from Savannah

Who met his end in a curious manner

He whittled a hole

In a telephone pole

And electrified his banana

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 There was a young girl from Madras

Who had a most beautiful ass

Not rounded and pink

As you probably think

But Grey with long ears, and ate grass

Anonymous

A young engineer name of Paul

Was equipped with an octagonal ball

The square of his weight

Times his pecker, plus eight

Is his phone number, give him a call!

 

 

There once was an artist named Saint

Who swallowed some samples of paint

All Shades of the spectrum

Flowed out of his rectum

With a colourful lack of restraint!

 

There once was a man from Bonaire

Who was doing his wife on the stair

When the banister broke

He doubled his stroke

And finished her of in midair!

 

 

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Limericks By Edward Lear

Just to prove that I do have a bit of culture in me, I thought I would add a few famous limericks by the poet Edward Lear!

There was a young lady whose chin

Resembled the point of a pin

So she had it made sharp

And purchased a harp

And played several tunes with her chin!

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There was an old person of Dover

Who rushed through a field of blue Clover

But some very large bees

Stung his nose and his knees

So he very soon went back to Dover.

-

There was an old lady of Chertsey

Who made a remarkable Curtsy

She twirled round and round

Til she sunk underground

Which distressed all the people of Chertsey.

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There was an old man who supposed

That the street door was partially closed