The One With The Holiday Armadillo Again
The holiday season at the Geller residence; after the success with Ben many moons ago cooperating Hanukkah and Christmas, it has been too many years since the children have been profusely asking for the holiday armadillo to make a guest appearance with Santa.
Ben smiled as his younger cousins were asking if this year was the year; making it obvious that they would not listen to any stories about the Jewish traditions if it weren't to happen. Ross baffled, yet happy to hear this text Monica ask if she remembered where he hired the costume and if Chandler would be up for dressing up as Santa. Just as he was about to promise the children that it could be a possibility if they behaved, Ben reminded his father about Superman's appearance. At this point, Lily and her parent's turned up and the kids jumped for joy and got on the phone to the Geller-Bings.
On Monica's end; Jack said it was stupid, she asked him why and said not to spoil it for the others. He answered because he said Superman was lame and how he if it were all true Iron Man would be there! Baffled and amused Monica tried to keep his voice down, but before she could negotiate with him his younger siblings overheard and were convinces Iron Man was going to be there told the Leo and Lily over the phone.
A week later, and everyone had gathered at Monica and Chandler's house waiting for the arrival of presents, the holiday armadillo, Santa, and Iron Man; because Joey said that he wouldn't be able to make it. It wasn't long until the holiday armadillo came along to tell the story of Hanukkah; shortly followed by Santa (who over the years mastered giving cash to the children). The children accepted the stories but were getting restless asking constantly where the superheroes were. Iron Man aka Ben Stark made his entrance feeling empowered to be part of this magical experience but to the surprise of everyone, he brought presents (mostly gadgets) but also a friend.
Enter Captain Joey Sparrow, the children had no idea it was junior and were so happy to see their favourite pirate staggering about, making jokes about everyone and had all the characteristics they expected. Just as the special guests were about to make an exit, a familiar voice came from behind them. It was superman! He asked the children to tell him everything they had learnt; then said he had to make a quick escape, but needed the help of Iron Man so he would have to go with him. They also offered to drop Captain Sparrow off on his ship on the way home, as long as Santa gave the holiday armadillo a lift too.
Happy and content with their evening, the children went up to the bedrooms and had a sleepover. When Monica was tucking them all in, she heard them talk amongst themselves. They were discussing the holidays and how lucky they were to have family who would make that kind of effort for them and was hoping they were good enough to get the presents they asked for as well as another guest appearance next year. She smiled and walked down the stairs to let everyone else know what she had heard; and thought to herself. She had the most loving, crazy and supportive family ever!
The One With The Lesbian Conception
2006; New York City; Willick-Bunch Residence.
Susan and Carol are enjoying a night without Ben; after a meal, they started talking on the couch. They were feeling nostalgic and decided to look through the family albums and reminiscing about the pregnancy of Ben; how they came up with his name; and their wedding.
Carol tells Susan that she was watching a documentary about other lesbian couples who looked for a sperm donor; took turns getting impregnated and birthing a child. This spurred further discussions as Carol was unsure about going through pregnancy again but thought Susan would look magnificent with a bump. They have had discussions in the past about adoption but they both agreed to want to have a biological child together. As they are lesbians it is scientifically impossible for them to conceive a child together. It became logical for Susan to be the one to carry the potential child because Carol had carried Ben.
A few days later they began gaining information about donations and procedures. Carol phoned Monica to ask about it as she knew in the past she had considered going through it. Monica passed on all the information she knew and a few contacts she thought would be useful. Susan went to her gynaecologist and a psychiatrist to get checked up; as well as her own general practitioner agreed Susan was in perfect health physically, emotionally and psychologically ready to mother a child.
They began finding a donor; going through anonymous profiles, distinguishing characteristics they were looking for in a potential child. It wasn't long until they found the perfect match and went through the correct path. However, as Carol and Susan were a married couple they were worried about how the law would treat this child and found their way to determine a contract with the donor in order to have an understanding of them having no contact or have to pay child maintenance. Although by law, both Carol and Susan cannot be on the birth certificate together, they wanted to make sure the biological father or social worker wouldn't try to take the child off of them.
Once Susan was successfully inseminated, it wasn't long until she was into her third semester and spread the news to all of her friends and family; who inevitably were delighted for them. Just as Carol and Susan were about to leave for a do set up by their friends the phone rang. It was the sperm bank, giving them good news; the donor had agreed to meet with them and sign any necessary paperwork. They agreed to meet him the next day at a Cafe the next day.
The very next day, Carol and Susan got up early and went to their doctors for a scan before meeting the donor. They found out Susan was carrying a very healthy girl and they were over the moon; they agreed to come up with 5 potential names each. They arrived at the Cafe early, chose a settee in the corner, ordered herbal tea and carrot cake; watching each male that came in wondering if they were the one. A few minutes later, a familiar face appeared, looking lost; it was Gunther. Carol called him over to say hi and said they couldn't speak long because they were meeting baby bunch's biological father. Gunther smiled and nervously said that he was Mr XY2209.
Carol and Susan were stunned; they didn't know how to react. Susan then got up quickly gave him a massive hug and said how she was relieved that he was someone they already knew and liked. They started telling him about the scan and pregnancy in general, he was happy to sign the paperwork. But Carol and Susan gave each other a look and said that he could be as involved as he would like; including coming up with a name. He thanked them but said he would not interfere unless the child wanted him around or they needed him to help explain things. This child would be their child; he did, however, mention to them that if he were to give a name; it would be Jasmine (after his best friend and roommate).
It wasn't long until Jasmine was born, and after a couple of years, she went to a preschool group and started asking questions about her father. Carol and Susan went down to Central Perk and asked Gunther if he were still willing to explain things to Jasmine; he was more than willing to. They went to a soft play area; Gunther sat Jasmine down with Susan and Carol. Jasmine took it very well, in fact, she was very understanding but asked if she could have day's out with Gunther during holiday seasons. She liked to play with him and found him funny; even if they weren't to act like father and daughter; they were more than willing to be friends. They all agreed, especially since Jasmine was being so mature for her age.
The One Emma Got Back
Ross and Rachel were out on their date night and got a babysitter in for Emma and Leo. When they got home they found their babysitter had been sleeping on the couch and music coming from Emma's bedroom. They sent home the babysitter and took Leo up to his bed after he had fallen asleep downstairs too.
They walked past Emma's bedroom to discover they knew the song being played. It was Emma's childhood favourite song by Sir Mix A Lot - Baby Got Back. They opened the door to find Emma twerking around in her underwear. Shocked, Emma screamed and jumped for cover. Her parents didn't know what to say apart from told her to turn the music off, put on some clothes and get to bed.
Ross and Rachel went to bed disgusted by themselves and blamed each other for singing the song constantly when she was a baby; and thanked God it wasn't on the internet. The next day, around the breakfast table only stares were shared; no words as they knew an argument would start. They went off to school and work; in hopes of forgetting what had happened the night before.
In the halls of the university before one of his lectures, Ross overheard some of the students talking about a vine they had been all seen and passed on. Naturally, he was curious and asked Jim what they were on about. Supposedly some "hottie" was doing her thing to an old rap song. Jim pulled out his phone and showed this booty in hot pink shorts twerking along to the infamous Baby Got Back. Ross smirked and turned away to walk into the hall when suddenly he got a flashback of the night before and what his daughter was wearing and doing.
He cancelled his class and rushed to Rachel's work to tell her what he had discovered. Neither of them had heard of vines before and got a hold of Ben who had to explain what it was and how to obtain it. They had to make sure if it was Emma; so they prevailed and endeavoured to get the app and search. They had no luck as they could not think of what her username would be.
Across town, the vine had got to Joey Jnr who sent it to Ben. When he knew it could potentially be his little sister he stopped the 7-second video and sent the link to his father. Filled with rage, Red Ross came to light and both he and Rachel went home to await their daughter.
When Emma came in, unbeknownst to her, her parents were sitting there on the couch with their arms crossed. The pair got up and began questioning her, cornering her until she was reduced to tears. She was adamant that the video wasn't of her and that she didn't even have a vine account. When Ross was in her face screaming about the pink underwear she shouted back and said she was wearing Turquoise as it was Tuesday the night before. He stopped and looked at Rachel; she shrugged her shoulders, held her face and said she couldn't remember, but perhaps their daughter was telling the truth.
When things calmed down, they sat quietly until Ross asked if Emma at least knew about the video. She replied that she did and had seen it which got her in the mood for dancing about in her bedroom. She then told her father that if he had taken the time to look into it, it was, in fact, a young man dancing about; making a point about young women being subjected for their bodies and the way they moved and dressed. He was shocked to hear, giggled to himself since all the young men were drooling over it including Joey Jnr. Rachel was so proud of her daughter, she hugged her, kissed her forehead and decided that she would take her shopping.
The next day Ross went into the university, in front of his class he mentioned the said video and explained out loud to the class; to see Jim and his fellow friends look in disgust as he smiled then continued with the coursework knowing his daughter was still innocent.
© 2015 Kally