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Fauntleroy and Flossy – Well, This Is It

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fauntleroy-and-flossy-well-this-is-it

Fauntleroy and Flossy are in the private chambers of the White House.

Fauntleroy, “Well, this is it. It was a good run. I had hoped to hear from Putt-Baby about repurchasing Alaska before the 20th. I would have made him a good deal and maintained all the hotel industry rights for the new Russian province. Boy wouldn't that just frost that pompous, Justin Trudeau and his pretty hair.”

Flossy glance up from looking at herself in her nude photo shoot for GQ magazine. Thinking 'just how did she end up here.'

Fauntleroy, still talking, “Get me that weaselly Georgia Secretary of State. I don't think 11,700 votes is not too much to ask for. Rigged it is all rigged. How can the most admired man in the world not be reelected. It just makes sense. First Georgia and then the world.”

He stuffed Aaron Burr's dueling pistol into his fifteenth trunk, ready to be move to the Fauntleroy Tower's Hotel and Condominium, Casino complex in downtown Moscow. He had Washington's wig, right there next to his own.

Putt-Baby had made him a sweet deal. It included no extradition for the kids. Though Mini T, was headed for Dubai.

“Have you heard back from my committee to have my profile carved on Mount Rushmore. Wouldn't that be our last laugh at these laughable people, these Americans. I sure showed them. I am the stable genius they needed. Why didn't we get the Pledge of Allegiance rewritten to Pledge Fauntleroy. Maybe next time. Can you believe more that two hundred million was donated to my illegal defense fund. The blood thirsty lawyers are going to have a field day at our expense.”

His Blue phone rang. “Sir, it's Biden's transition team again. They are insisting you give them the new keys you had made for Fort Knox before you go.” Fauntleroy laughed. Under the cover of Covid, Gold has been transferred in cases marked Covid Vaccine Relief Russia.


Flossy got up and left the room. She passed Baghdad Barbie on the way in. “You said you loved me. You said I would be more famous than Monica Lewinsky and all I get is this Mega T-Shirt. Fox News will not even return my calls. The Proud Boys have made me an offer. They said based on your recommendation, I can be their mascot.” She turned and left in a huff, like she always left the private residence.

The red phone rang. “Vader here. Please, please, take me with you. I can't go back to Indiana, I just can't. Mother said so.” The phone clicked off.

The red phone rang. “Sir the Pardon Committee to Rehabilitate America, has connived. They have 2,000 pardons for you to sign. And they want you over there right away. As each of the committee members and each of your cabinet is anxious. The Governor of Texas called and asked if you could just pardon the entire State.” The call ended. Fauntleroy was alone. He stood petting his favorite wig like a cat and wondering how all the people around him had failed. He picked up half of a cold McDonald's double cheese burger and absentmindedly stuffed it into his mouth.


Model T knocked on the door and walked in. She waited and watched as Baghdad Barbie left. “Oh, Daddy.” She put her hands on his lapels and ran her fingers up and down. “Whatever are we to do? The party is over. I will make you proud, when I become the Senator of Florida. Maybe Mini T will be the second Senator. DC drips with money to be taken by the truckloads. I just love America.” She moved a little closer. The red phone rang, ruining the moment.

Goudie Ruliana had dialed the red phone hence interrupting another felony. “Sir, don't you worry we can appeal to the international tribunals. For just $20,000 a day I will handle your cases brought by New York State, Georgia State vs Fauntleroy, the Justice Department and their nonsense suits about obstruction, collusion, voter fraud, and pilferage et al, as they will all be overturned by the Supreme Court. They owe you that. Right?” There was a pause, “Sir, about that pardon. I'd like to stop by and pick it up, but I heard there was a line. Sir, sir.”

Fauntleroy was thinking about Gomorrah-Logo. Specifically to be under house arrest at Gomorrah-Logo. With that stone faced Flossy walking around scowling. Gomorrah-Logo with no golf course.

The Camouflage phone in his sock rang. It was Putt-Baby. “Comrade,” Putt-Baby began. “We look forward to seeing you in Moscow. This time of year Moscow is beautiful. The snow and ice cover everything. The temperatures are still above twenty below. You will be welcomed with open arms. We have arranged a residence for you and Flossy on the twentieth floor. The views are breathtaking. We Russians are famous for taking care of those that served the party. And I am famous for taking care of those that have worked so hard at my instruction. Yes, you will have a memorable stay here for as long as you live, ah, like. As long as you like. We will give you that parade that you desire so much. The Russian people are very proud of the work you have done. If only your successes could have continued.....” Putt-Baby smiled a chilly smile.

Fauntleroy folded the Camouflage phone and returned it to the sock with the special sock pocket. There was an odd tone in Putt-Babies voice. Fauntleroy recognized the tone. He reached under the bed, grabbed the stack of folders marked, “For Your Eyes Only,” and stuffed them in the trunk, next to the Library of Congresses copy of Mein Kampf.


The Camouflage phone in his sock rang. It was Putt-Baby.

Post election epilogue:

Remember the virus that has now killed 362,000 Americans, as of this writing, was declared a hoax. Science was laughed at because it did not fall in line with the pathetic party rhetoric. We were told the any negative news about the regime, was fake news. The media was the enemy of the people. We the People displayed strength and courage as violence was preached from the highest office. Much sewage remains to be cleansed. But we have made a start.

Accolades:

A major battle was won in the war against America in 2020. The enemies of democracy took heavy loses. But we must remain vigilant as there were survivors of the battle still among us. You know who they are. They came out of hiding when Fauntleroy turned over the rock they were hiding under.

Disclaimer:

Fauntleroy and Flossy were not for everyone. They were for themselves. Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves, are embarrassed by the success of the bandits just defeated in Washington.

If blurry vision occurs after reading Fauntleroy and Flossy, perhaps the stupor caused by the bombardment from the grotesque is wearing off. Consult some sunshine as the clouds lift over the nation.

These words are carved in stone. No attempt should be made to carry them off for analysis. Individual interpretations may vary. Consult a democrat, for clarification, if any of the words lack meaning.

This is a work of fiction, no legitimate political party was defamed in the writing of this fiction. No legitimate authority was maligned. No defamation of character has taken place, as that only applies to humans with character.

I hope enjoyed this piece.

Signed:

Anonymous existence

fauntleroy-and-flossy-well-this-is-it

© 2021 mckbirdbks

Comments

mckbirdbks (author) from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas on January 10, 2021:

Oh, you got it to work. Bravo.

Genna East from Massachusetts, USA on January 10, 2021:

Hi Mike...

(I'm now allowed snippets of screen time - any screen time (I listen to the news on TV), as long as I'm wearing sunglasses with tinted lenses.) And I finally fixed part of the problem with my HP feeds.

“Have you heard back from my committee to have my profile carved on Mount Rushmore..." (Actually, there is a rumor floating about that this man is making inquiries, looking for an airport that will change its name to his.)

"She passed Baghdad Barbie on the way in. “You said you loved me. You said I would be more famous than Monica Lewinsky and all I get is this Mega T-Shirt. Fox News will not even return my calls. The Proud Boys have made me an offer. They said based on your recommendation, I can be their mascot.” (Lol!)

Goudie Ruliana ; “Sir, about that pardon. I'd like to stop by and pick it up, but I heard there was a line. Sir...sir.” (There certainly is.)

Precious, Mike...thank you. And too close to reality, my friend. Sadly, what has transpired over the past week marks a cataclysmic end to what should never have happened in the first place. If only people had listened to the truth and to the warnings, rather than dwell in their self-centered denial or rabbit holes...

Hugs.

mckbirdbks (author) from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas on January 10, 2021:

Posted on behalf of Genna East. She is having trouble with her feed, here at Hubpages.

“Have you heard back from my committee to have my profile carved on Mount Rushmore..." (Actually, there is a rumor floating about that this man is making inquiries, looking for an airport that will change its name to his.)

"She passed Baghdad Barbie on the way in. “You said you loved me. You said I would be more famous than Monica Lewinsky and all I get is this Mega T-Shirt. Fox News will not even return my calls. The Proud Boys have made me an offer. They said based on your recommendation, I can be their mascot.” (Lol!)

Goudie Ruliana ; “Sir, about that pardon. I'd like to stop by and pick it up, but I heard there was a line. Sir...sir.” (There certainly is.)

And my response. Thank you Genna. There is a little one lane airport near me that may be interested in a name change. How do you think 'Incarcerated Fauntleroy Airport' sounds?

mckbirdbks (author) from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas on January 09, 2021:

Thanks Justthemessenger, What the heck, I have been asking that for four and a half years now.

James C Moore from The Great Midwest on January 09, 2021:

Years from now people will say how did America choose someone like Faint Elroy in the first place. Good satire.

mckbirdbks (author) from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas on January 08, 2021:

Hubpages has made some formatting changes.

Hi Bill, Thanks for the comment. I look forward to receiving the book. Hoping Fauntleroy and Flossy exit, Stage Far Right

Hello Peggy W - I wrote this piece prior to the attempted overthrow of the United States government, by F Troop. In two weeks the smell will begin to lift on the nation. There is so much work to be done to right this ship of state.

Peggy Woods from Houston, Texas on January 07, 2021:

You have portrayed this so well, and it would be humorous if it was not so close to the truth. I think that there will be more episodes. The stench will linger for a while. It will take some effort to sweep and deodorize what has been left behind in Fauntleroy's wake.

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on January 07, 2021:

So nice to see you back among us, buddy, and a very timely return of Fauntleroy and Flossy! Well done, as always! I eagerly await the next. And I am so sorry for the delay, but your book will be mailed tomorrow.

mckbirdbks (author) from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas on January 06, 2021:

Hello John. Fauntleroy and Flossy have worn out there welcome in a United States. It has been a long while since I sat down to write. We will see if I can keep any sort of focus going forward.

mckbirdbks (author) from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas on January 06, 2021:

Hello Ruby. Fauntleroy sealed his fate today. The courts nor history will spare him, or his enablers. To save themselves, Fauntleroy will be sacrificed. The country has received great news today with the winning of two Senate seats in Georgia. There is symmetry.

mckbirdbks (author) from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas on January 06, 2021:

Hello Ann. It was suggested that I write a little Fauntleroy and Flossy. The material is so rich with irony and my distain for Fauntleroy's regime is not a secret. We have toy soldiers playing kabuki theater, in there play uniforms. Soon, real men will show up and sweep the streets with them. Happy New Year to you. 2021 will be a more sane year than 2020.

John Hansen from Queensland Australia on January 06, 2021:

What an amazing piece of writing, Mike, to finish off the series, or is it. I have a feeling there could be more drama to come. Good to see you back.

Ruby Jean Richert from Southern Illinois on January 06, 2021:

Oh my, this is so real, how can we let him stay in our white house? He should be put in chains and jailed while we consider who should accompany him. I've watched the riot in Washington off and on all day, and I must say that we didn't deserve this. The people who voted for him trusted him, but the evil people who infiltrated the voters knew exactly what was happening. White supremacist knew how big Trump's ego was and played him like a fiddle. I must say that your ability to ' tell it like it is ' and make it humorous is brilliant. So good to see you back writing.

Ann Carr from SW England on January 06, 2021:

Very good, especially as I watch what's going on right now! You portray so well the atmosphere he creates.

Biden offered such integrity and presence today in contrast to that othee man who, in my opinion, doesn't even deaerve to be named.

Good to read your work again. I've missed a few, sorry.

Happy New Year, Mike, and I hope it turns out to be so on all fronts.

Ann