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Individual in a Crowd

How do we achieve?

Have you ever read or listened to success story of someone, or have you ever come to know that how a person got better on a specific ability or talent?

There's a basic pattern that might be common in all of them. There was a time in their life when they were insecure of a certain thing and by the time they started working on it and started getting better, and now that is the thing which can be counted as their speciality or at least they're good at it.

What makes us achieve things in life?

It is possible that it is the insecurity that make us achieve things in our lives. In fact, there are researches that also suggest that insecurity is the driving force to achievement in life. I've observed this pattern even in my own life. You also have observed this in your life. You may have find that relatable too.

Utopia 2020

Recently, I was watching "Utopia." I've come across this point of view on the internet where people say that British one was far better than the American. Well, I'm not going to slip into this debate. Jessica Hyde was one of my favorite character, she had everything that was the need of that story and every other character. Besides all of this, the thing that also took my attention was the dialogue that Dr. Kevin Christie always says; "What have you done today to earn your place in this crowded world?”

It made me ponder that man has always done things in their life to earn their place.


Earning your place

If we look back to the "Tower Of Babel."

The reason why people started building it was to make their name on the earth. They wanted to prove their worth among other earth fellows.

Other than that, almost everything that man always wanted to achieve in their life is because they wanted to make their name. Because, they wanted to prove their metal. Either it’s about conquests, kingdoms, ruling, economy or it’s about dreams, achievements, medals, arguments or specializations.

Evaluating our own worth

It gives us a little insight about humans that it always please humans to make their name, to stand out. Most of the time, the reason why we have dreams and why we work on them restlessly day and night, because we want to make our name on the earth. This is how most of the time we try to evaluate our own worth.

The problem with this way of evaluating our worth is that everybody do that, almost everyone try hard to get people attention. The best example of this is social media. Everyone seeks attention. Anything done on social media is for attention, it's to make name on earth. People get ready to click some pictures and then they upload them to social media to show that they've a very good social life. People show things on social media that they don't really own because they want to evaluate their worth through likes and dislikes they get on their photos. Even before the social media people were like this, social media just allowed us to see the fake ness that we have in ourselves. In a sense social media has revealed some dark secrets of our own selves to us.

"We spend money that we do not

Have, on things we do not need, to

Impress people who do not care."

~Will Smith

Who is there to appreciate us?

So, the question arises if everyone is faking things, if everyone is trying to make their name and get attention of others, who is there to appreciate us? Who is there to give us the approval that we're searching for?

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May be that's not the right approach to life.


May be self-acceptance is the way out of this problem. Because, everyone is looking for others to tell them that they're worthy, to tell them that they can do better with their lives and themselves. In these situations this seems to be a perfect solution because everyone is already going for other's approval but if you're the one not looking for other's to approve you but you're the one to approve yourself, to assure yourself that you're worthy and you deserve good things in life.

You're the one who can do things right for yourself. After all you're the most concerned person to yourself. So it's better if you take care of yourself and love yourself.


Downsides of self-love

But as you know that there are benefits and drawbacks of everything. So we have some downsides of self-love also.

We've seen people around us who are not doing things right and are unaware of their mistakes. They never ask for other's approval, they also give us signs that they're self-lovers but we know the truth as we are seeing them from an observing point of view. The truth is that they have some narcissistic tendencies, they make everything a debate, a fight that they're supposed to win. They turn every situation into a win and lose condition, they become very dominating. Because, this is how they prove themselves that they love and care for themselves. As it is a famous saying that, "excess of everything is bad." Too much of self-love exploits us as too much of selflessness does.

Balance between the two

So, what should we do then we are not correct either this or that way, we should keep a balance between the two. We should never cling to the extremes. Balance is the key. But the question is how we know that we have maintained the balance.

In order to maintain a perfect balance we should create a rule that will always tell us either we are doing it right or not. You can call it a litmus test, which is "Honesty."

Honesty with our own selves, honesty with others. This will allow us to have perfect balance between self-love and selflessness.

This will allow us to be human, a good human.

It's not just keep us from dominating others. It also gives us power to (say "No") stop being too nice. It helps us to create boundaries in our lives and live accordingly.

After all, "Honesty is the best policy."


Earn your place

So, the best thing you can do for yourself is to be honest. It's the best that you can do for yourself and others. That's what you can do to earn your place in this crowded world.

So, what have you done today to earn your place in this crowded world?


© 2021 Waqar George Gill

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