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Don't Let Other People Define Who You Really Are.

I'm an aspiring writer, poet, and author from the Philippines. Aiming to be a successful poet and author someday! :)

Don’t Let Other People Define Who You Really Are.

Everyone around you can tell you a lot of things that can really make you feel less valuable and unworthy.

They can tell you stuffs that would creep and haunt you for maybe the rest of your life if you let them.

People around can have guts to say, “You aren’t fit for this industry or job, go look for something else.”

You’ll go nuts going in circles looking for something that you’ll be validated and someone to say “We’ve been waiting and looking for someone like you to work with us.” Like finally, someone has accepted you for what you are capable of and who you truly are.

They say “Go follow your passion, be happy and do what you truly love.” Don’t think much of how much you’ll gonna earn or how much it will pay you. That’s sort of true but it will never be easy. Sometimes taking risks to do what we really want scares us a lot mainly because we dwell too much on what people say.

The shadows that makes us anxious in every decision we make and in every steps we take each time grows enormously.

What are these things that people have instill upon us and make us believe that what they say are really what’s bound to happen for us, that they know better, that what they say really shows what we really are?

These are the things people will make you believe it’s true until it so happens what they constantly say about you will be a constant reminder in your head and eventually a reality of what you think about yourself.

1. You are not good enough. 2.You won’t be successful if you choose that career or job. 3. Do this instead for it pays a lot more, you won’t earn if you insist on that. 4. People think of your hobby or passion as something so low that it’s not worth spending time on. 5. When asked what career would you like to take, they’ll be like “That’s it? What will happen to you if that’s the only thing you’ll ever gonna do? Where will it ever take you?” 6. When you see that people don’t treat you the same way as they do with others.

7. People are likely to notice and appreciate your works and efforts less than how they acknowledge your friends and relatives. 8. People shall only care if it benefits them, if not it’s meaningless. 9. Not every beginner can be fortunate. 10. It is innate in this world that people will never ever be treated the same and equally. 11. There will always be injustice and unfair treatment no matter how much you thrive to do good and make a change for the better. 12. No one will ever appreciate and value your ethics, principles, and efforts more than you do. 13. As the lyrics say “ Don’t mess with the flow, Stick with the status quo.”

14. If you do something “unnecessary” or “unusual” with their definition of the norm, you’ll be greatly criticized and judged like “What the hell are you doing? You should be like this, you should be like that. Enough with your nonsense ambitions!” 15. Growing up in the early years, these people already have the tradition, they have these timeline where every generation succeeding them must follow, and when one breaks it, they’ll make sure that person regrets it for their life time just because they think it’s unusual.

The list can still go on, but of course, what can I expect, you only read first three lines if it caught your interest you go for another two lines, if it bores you and think its lame and pathetic, you wouldn’t even be able to read this part anyway so what’s the point? BUT… if you are still reading this up to this point, I really appreciate your interest and generosity to waste your time to my nonsense rants. That’s just wonderful.

Okay, moving on…

You see, people can really go all out of their way just to control and manipulate other’s lives for the sake of their evil aspirations and interests.
You make them happy and satisfied if they see you getting so chickened out just by their whispers and words that greatly affected you a lot.

That is what they want. They want to be in control of your life, dictate what they want you to do, what they want you to think of yourself, what they want you to be, and eventually make yourself miserable and come to a point were they have pushed you to the very edge of your limits making you ruin and end your life on your own accord.

That’s the worst thing that could ever happen to you if you let them take over and control your life when in the first place, they have no right to do so.

People have the right to say what they want. That’s freedom of speech. But if you let it affect you and you keep following left and right of what everyone suggests you to do, you’ll really end up going no where. They are not your compass that decides what you should do and where you should go neither what you should become.

One’s beauty cannot be measured by the standards people have set on social media platforms that one should always portray a glamorous look, glass skin, pointed nose or well contoured nose, pouty lips like Angelina Jolie, contouring everything in your face, being fit and sexy with all the curves, because these are just all filters.

If you want to be accepted, valued, and appreciated, make yourself the very first person to make you feel all that. For if you can’t accept who you are and what you truly are, if you think poorly and low of yourself, if you also become the person who doesn’t value, doesn’t accept, doesn’t appreciate, and always invalidate, who else can you expect to do these things for you?

It is within you that you must begin to trust and acknowledge more often than how you currently think of yourself. That’s how things will start to change and make a difference if you begin to think more about yourself rather than what others will think or say about you.

Acknowledge every little achievements or goals you have acquired like how you would expect someone to do so for you. If no one is there to tell you, “You did great. You did a wonderful job.” Give yourself a pat on the shoulder and be that apprentice who’ll whisper these things for you. Even if it’ll be just you and you alone.

Take note of these tiny achievements and keep track of them. You’ll see how much progress you’ve made after a couple period of time. Progress is still progress. You don’t have to rush things up just because everyone around you is already so much far ahead of you. If you rush things up and so happens you just can no longer keep up with their speed, danger can happen and you’ll just find yourself in huge trouble.

Yes, time is running by so fast that if we go slow now, we might not be able to complete the tasks and goals we are aiming to finish in time. But, that’s absolutely fine. There is no need to rush and pressure yourself for something that we both know you can’t. You can’t do a lot of things in a rush. You can’t always procrastinate to produce something just for the sake. It will not do you anything good if you just always do things half baked. You can’t simply just head over to a war without weapons and totally unprepared unless you went there to find yourself being a dead meat.

Most importantly, it will certainly be difficult to take a huge step ahead. You can’t always shortcut everything and go for instant quick results. Cause it is very likely that you’ll miss out the most important things and details you actually needed to carry on and move forward to the next step. Just like some courses, you have to go through and take the small steps first as pre-requisites before proceeding. There are some skills and lessons in life that you must first learn and acquire so you won’t be feeling lost and confuse of what to do next or even think how did you end up there?

Otherwise, you’ll go crazy and delusional with the uncertainties and anxiety of what’s in store for your life now? Don’t let people succeed on messing up with your life that God has been trying so hard to fix and lead you to the right path.
Trust the process even if it’s meant to take a long long while before you see progress. If it’s HIS will, it will happen. Ask for some specific signs for you to figure out that what’s happening is a message from God and a clue of what is likely to happen by his Grace and not because you are following what other people asks and expects you to do or to be, which will just put you in misery and lose track of what really matters and what you should really be doing.

Focus on what you feel is close to what seems fulfilling and strengthen your faith. You are doing it for you know deep down it’s for your own good and if it’s in accordance to His Divine Will, you’ll do just great, live in abundance with no doubts and no fear as you have learned to solely believe to someone greater than anyone and everything in this world. You are in good hands if you let him be your guide, your compass, and in charge of the steering wheel. He is greater than those shadows of fear, sadness, anxiety that haunts you and devours your soul, shredding you into pieces making you think that you are weak and that you are nothing if you go against these shadows of thoughts instilled by people around you. YOU ARE STRONGER THAN WHAT OTHERS ARE TRYING TO MAKE YOU BELIEVE IN.

It is a matter of time you negate all the myths they are telling about you.
If someone tells you, that no one will ever love you except yourself that maybe true but tell them at the very least, God loves You and that’s a huge deal.
If someone have all their time in the world to belittle and say a lot of mean things to you, remember someone above is greater. Even the largest planets and galaxies are just tiny dots from his point of view. What more that human trying to be so huge and intimidating in front of you, it’s just nonsense and a total waste of time and energy.

If no one appreciates what you are doing, and calls it a piece of thrash still be proud. There are some guardian angels in disguise watching you. You might not see or notice them, but in shadows they are silently supporting you and your endeavors.

You don’t have to go and beg for people to acknowledge and appreciate you. People will acknowledge your efforts and appreciate you if they really want to. Maybe they are not just the type of market that’s right and meant for you. You are already wonderful enough with the strengths and capabilities that you possess to make a mark and impact to a certain crowd.

You are already doing great in choosing to share your wisdom and knowledge to people that maybe in some way God used you as an instrument to remind people what they might have forgotten for a long period of time.

You might not be able to receive or hear the complements you were expecting from the people you’d wish to at least appreciate you the way you want them to but maybe that’s because they are not the intended recipients of the message God asks you to spread. Someone out there might actually be crying out for help and praying to have a peace of mind, who knows how your two cents for thought can have a huge impact or affect someone’s life to change inevitably.

You don’t have to feel bad or feel down if no one took notice of what you have said. What matters is that while you are writing these thoughts of yours, you at least have learned two or three things in life that no one will ever bother to share it with you.
Writing down and tackling stuffs like these, that can bother you all night can actually improve how you think and deal with your current life situation. Brainstorming ideas and thoughts that wouldn’t just shut up and let you sleep can help improve your mood. I mean, if it’s troubling you and you feel so eager that you must let these thoughts out, put it to good use. Write it down, and share it with someone you feel like sharing it to. Doesn’t have to be everybody, just someone.

There will always be someone out there willing to listen and spare a couple of seconds for your thoughts because you matter to them. It isn’t true that no one is there to listen the crap of what ever is going on with your mind. That’s one main reason why majority of suicidals lose hope of being heard and understood, because of ruthless people instilling to their minds that : “No one cares about what you’ll ever gonna say.”, “We are sick and tired of listening to your problems and rants.”, “We don’t wanna care about anything you are dealing with, its toxic and too much negativity.” and that’s not true.

You are loved and you matter. Believe that someone who knows you so well is there to help you out, to listen in everything you have to say, and spend time to hear you out because they just care and treasure you a lot.

Remember that in this world filled with injustice and cruelty, you’ll never be alone.
Trust in his words that HE WILL NEVER FORSAKE YOU, and that in every battle you’ll be facing there will always be someone out there to help you out and win.

Just believe in yourself that in time you’ll be able to overcome all the triumphs of life. When something goes wrong and you find yourself in huge trouble, pray that there will be someone nearby to extend you a helping hand. Sometimes, we judge people of their appearance thinking they are likely to do harm on us, but time will show despite how they look over time, they can come in handy and help you a lot specially when you are in a tough situation. You’ll never know who are assigned to be heroes without capes of the day. It can be you, or someone on the streets you treated ever so badly.

Remember to be kind to anyone you come across with on your day to day life. So that even if the time comes suddenly the table has turned, you’ll be rewarded with something twice as good of your actions and not thrice as worse on how you mistreated someone. You can be so powerful now with money and fame, but time will come, you will find yourself interacting with those people you belittle for how they look and their current job asking for a favor or some sort of help.

Be the reason why people strive harder to make a huge difference on their lives. Influence and inspire others that if they learn and aspire to dream something bigger, life have so much more to offer and improve their lives more for the better. They deserve to live life with a great sense of purpose. They don’t deserve to be treated ill and so low just because of their status in life. They are just human beings too.

Build a community that helps one another and improves life of each other for a better future. You don’t have to join forces with people who are so full of themselves and like to step down on other’s lives. Let them be and eventually karma will strike back at them and justice will be served. It is more rewarding and fulfilling if someone will be so thankful for the things you have done that contributed a lot to improve their way of life.

If all these are too much to digest and it feels overwhelming, to put it simply, be someone that makes people want to always wear a smile on their face and not to be forever grumpy.

If you find yourself in an opportunity to help someone out that you have a strong urge that feels it’s like a calling, take the risk and do what you can to help. Take the initiative and follow your instincts. It will be fine as long as you do it along with the guidance of God. Keep Praying until something good come out of it.

Don’t beat yourself too hard and just do what you can on your desired pace. Take it slow, plan it out, and believe everything will be fine soon. But also keep in mind, prayers come along with the will to act upon it. If you just sit still and wait for miracles to happen, you might just end up dumbfounded waiting for things to progress and move on its own with out you doing something about it.

Along with the wishes and prayers, you must also have the will and courage to help yourself out. It won’t work with just prayers alone. That is of course if you want something to change and level up things a bit.

Lastly, live a meaningful and fruitful life.

Take good care of yourself and continue to make people happy and inspire them to hold on and continue to live forward.

No heavy baggage, no regrets.

Stay safe. Stay Hydrated. Love and Spread Love, Hope, and Peace.

Choose to Live, because You are Someone’s HOPE and someone still needs you.

Someone is still dreaming of the day to finally meet a wonderful person like you.

Live Well cause you deserve it.
And I will try my hardest too.
That’s a deal and a promise.
You lose a finger if you break it.

Take Care.


© 2021 Gianella Labrador

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