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All I Wanted Was a Friend

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I am an empath which means I can "feel" others emotions and feelings as well as put into words things others would find hard to understand.


Agony crumbles me into nothingness
anguish settles like a misty fog
despair thrusts its tentacles into my mind
Now these emotions
deep within
Twist​ed​ up and torn
discomfort thwarts me from any respite
I'm a prisoner of my mind,
an aching body of disillusionment,
gloom shrouds my vision
grief envelopes me like a shroud
hardship constrains me
headache throbs with unerring fatigue
heartache stabs my soul with viciousness
passion dies within my aching heart
sadness consumes my vision
sorrow engulfing my life
The soul is alone and the world silent; In deepest pain, I cry alone silence like a knife Can leave jagged wounds
squalor seeping like tendrils of dissociation
suffering..... Silently alone
Alone like a star in the universe
orbiting murmers on the solar wind
Where only darkness sinks in inky black
torment aches incessantly in my memories
torture of self resignation rips my peace
Pain is just an emotion
that smites the smile to freeze
woe drags me down the black abyss
I drink water from puddles filtered through blood
I see images through tears speckled by mud
worry smothers me with self doubt
aches continues to be prolonged
blues tunelessly whistle through my lips
depression swamps me with continual afront
desolation has me bound in chains of pain
despondency shouts for acceptance
distress rallies with discord and apathy
hurting continuesly makes my nerves fray
melancholy Speckles my eyes with fever
pang pushes me unmovingly
stitch has my muscles in spasm
twinge causes me to twitch spasmodically
unhappiness springs like a frozen fountain
worriment scrapes my heart with twisted tears
Even when whispere​d​
tears are wept
They hold no great
secret kept
wretchedness enfolds me like rotted sackcloth
But the saddest thing of all is in a world of billions of people not a single soul will come to my aid and if I died tomorrow a single tear would not be shed a single thought would not be considered or a single flower at my graveside.
Have you ever been ignored,
shunned abused scorned,
looks that stare and hurt,
ice cold eyes that say your dirt.
No friends or colleagues to share what's new,
alone on a corner feeling blue,
out on a limb with no one to hold,
feeling depressed unloved and so cold.
Thoughts like shadows tease and bite,
mixed emotions wrestle in the night,
laughter an echo of someone's smile,
wishes and dreams others defile.
Banished in hindsight loved by the few,
loathed by the strangers that try to hurt you,
shouting so loudly no one to hear,
hiding in shadows trembling with fear.
Solitary footsteps in the soil,
covered by dust intended to spoil,
nothing to show where you've been,
not even a memory others have seen.
Trying so hard to find some respite,
from the pain and the misery others delight,
but fighting back just torments me still,
my nerves become frayed making me ill.
This world of hatred that corrupts the soul,
motivated by greed takes it's toll,
riches in death you'll ne'er see,
like a fragile heart just trying to be.
Current affairs spits others views,
no joy in the world just constant bad news,
is this my life my reason to live,
everything's been taken nothing to give.
Left under a flagstone to be forgot,
your flesh like your memories destined to rot,
never to see another sun kissed dawn,
wondering why you ever was born.
But in the end
All I wanted was a friend.

© 2020 Mark

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